𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗙𝗶𝘃𝗲

𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗙𝗶𝘃𝗲:

Pillsbury Cookies

❅𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗙𝗶𝘃𝗲❅

She was at least ten feet away from me, but for some reason it felt like she was closer.

Like she was right beside me.

She looked just the same, except her features were sharper—which her makeup undeniably emphasized.

Especially her dark eyes.

Just like Tazmin and Omara, she wore all black.

A black blazer and dress pants, wearing shiny tennis necklaces and matching cuffed earrings.

Which were nearly dazzling under the nearby Christmas lights, especially with her blonde hair pulled back into a low bun.

I suddenly cleared my throat when she visibly tilted her head at me. 

At least until she glanced away when someone tapped her arm to get her attention.

Another familiar face.

Dove Mathews.

She was less of a nice face for me, due to only recalling how fucking mean she was in high school to me.

Of course, Mazin is with her.

She just doesn't seem focused on her.

Not with her stare pinpointed on Dani by my side.

But not a single thought or emotion showed on her face.

She just briefly glanced over to me and then looked back to Dove—pressing her hand to her upper back as they walked closer to the unlit tree.

And maybe a part of it stung the deepest parts of my chest.

Maybe the sight of her touching someone else made my face burn.

But it's more about finding out she's with the girl we both mutually hated when we were younger.

Or maybe she's just messing around with her.

That's how Mazin always was.

She was never in a serious relationship.

Even in high school.

I think I was clinically insane for actually believing I could change that for her.

She only ever saw me as a friend it seems.

"Vee?"

I suddenly blinked a few times, realizing I had zoned out.

Fucking embarrassing.

"I uh," I breathed out, blinking again as I glanced between everyone who seemed to be staring at me in anticipation.

Specifically, Nelli.

"Are you coming?" my best friend asked me.

I nodded once—

Until I unconsciously shook my head, "No I think I might catch up with Dani," I said before I could think it through.

What the fuck.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me right now.

I should not be petty, I should not—

"We can catch up while I find my dad," I determined, grabbing one of Dani's arms before I could think it through.

And suddenly I could feel her stare back on me.

Not Dani's.

Not Nelli's.

It was Mazin.

I knew it was her, but I refused to look.

I refused to give her the luxury of even locking eyes with me.

She needs to focus on Dove clearly.

"So how has everything been at the restaurant?" I asked Dani, keeping my arms wrapped around her one as we walked through the crowd.

"Good—really good," Dani immediately said as I tried my fucking hardest to avoid her stare following me through the crowd.

Openly staring at me is fucking crazy.

But as I recall, so is Mazin.

Some people never change.

And that goes for a lot of things.

She hasn't changed and I need to remember that.

"You know Vee, I actually wanted to talk with you alone honestly," Dani suddenly spoke, breaking me away from my thoughts as we walked down the main street where the chauffeured cars and Ubers can drop people off, "I just think about high school a lot and what I did to you was—"

"It's in the past," I immediately cut her short, unconsciously letting go of her arm as I recalled the distant memories.

Luckily we were out of Mazin's view sight because all I could feel was uneasy by Dani's presence.

"It's not in the past," Dani insisted turning to face me as she stopped by one of the buildings lined with Christmas lights, "What I did wasn't okay and I don't think it's something that should be forgotten."

I shook my head, "I know, but it's not something I want to remember," I said as my voice unconsciously grew lower. 

"I understand," Dani whispered, eyeing my face for a long moment, "I'm just... I'm really sorry, Vee," she said, her tone nothing but genuine with me, "And I don't expect forgiveness, it's more about accountability—I'm sorry and I want you to know that."

I nodded once.

And then again.

And then another fucking time.

Until I suddenly cleared my throat, "I appreciate you taking accountability then," I whispered, unconsciously glancing away from her.

And luckily I noticed my dad's tall slim frame, towering over the crowd as he walked toward us with his usual smile.

It wasn't a smile he spared just anyone.

Only the people closest to him.

"My dad's here so I should..." I trailed off, now trying to find a way to exit this conversation.

And quickly.

"Oh yeah, I'll see you around," Dani didn't hesitate to say, her tone nothing but respectful as she nodded at me—flashing me one last brief smile as she walked past me.

I let out a deep sigh, blinking as I fought the tightness in my chest away.

Fuck.

I haven't felt this anxious in so long.

"Vee?" my dad said with furrowed brows, stopping in front of me as he analyzed my face for a moment.

A very long moment actually.

"Hey, take a deep breath in," he immediately told me, lowering his voice as he gently grabbed my hands.

I nodded a few times, drawing in a deep breath as I focused on his hands that gently squeezed and unsqueezed mine.

"I'm good, I'm fine—"

"Breath out," he instructed me, clearly not believing a word I said.

My current internal havoc was probably written all over my fucking face.

Running into Dani.

Seeing Mazin.

With Dove of all people.

And then Dani.

Why did I pull her along?

And then Mazin.

Mazin.

I can't—

"Breathe again," my dad told me, earning a few more nods from me, focusing on his hands squeezing mine and also my breathing.

Fuck this.

I hate this so much.

I was fine before this.

I was fine before Miami.

I suddenly rolled my shoulders back, now letting out a deeper breath as I adjusted to my heart which no longer raced in my chest.

Thank god.

"What's going on, Vee?" my dad asked me, naturally glancing past me, "Did someone do something because I'll—"

"No one did anything," I immediately assured him before he could mention the idea of hurting someone for doing something to me, "I just think this crowd is a lot and my social battery feels low and..." I trailed off, trying to think of any excuse besides her.

Because I don't want it to be her. 

She doesn't deserve to hold that kind of power over me. 

"We'll leave then," my dad didn't hesitate to offer, "We'll grab some snacks and watch the tree lighting on the news back at the hotel—you could even stay the night just like old times."

I nodded, unconsciously smiling at the idea, "I would really like that," I admitted, causing my dad to immediately loop our arms together so we could walk back in the other direction, "Do you still have my room made up?"

"Oh, you know I do," my dad didn't hesitate to say, "It's just as you left it."

My smile grew slightly, "Okay good," I whispered, walking with him down the sidewalk as he texted his driver.

Something I refused to use the luxury of.

I enjoy driving myself places.

And Ubers aren't that bad.

But my dad insists on—

"We need to get a driver assigned to you," my dad suddenly said, practically reading my thoughts as we approached the familiar Maybach parked by the curb.

I laughed slightly, "You and this driver thing," I mumbled jokingly.

"It's a safety precaution," he reminded me as I slid into the backseat—with him sliding in beside me.

"I just like the freedom of driving," I said as he closed the door, nodding at the driver to leave, "You understand don't you?" I said, giving him a forced pitiful look.

One that I learned directly from Lena.

And it works every time.

Even now, all my dad could do was nod reluctantly as he let out a dramatic sigh.

"Fine, I guess I'll leave it alone," he determined, knowing it was no use in trying to disagree with me.

I hummed happily, "Good, now what snacks were you thinking?" I asked him, staring out of the tinted window as we slowly drove through the thick traffic.

I hate driving in downtown Miami during Christmas time, I swear.

"I kind of want dinner now," Dorian suddenly determined, "We can also make those Christmas cookies like we used to."

I felt my eyes quite literally light up, "The Pillsbury cookies?" I said, smiling at the idea of them, "I love those so much."

My dad nodded immediately, "I'll go ahead and get someone to grab everything so it'll be there by the time we get back," he said, grabbing his phone from his pocket, "What do you think about Pho for dinner? We could do our favorite place—"

"Yes, one hundred percent, yes," I immediately cut him short, nodding almost a few times in a row.

My dad nodded, "I'll get it ordered now," he didn't hesitate to say, texting his go-to people to pick everything up for us.

Which felt just like old times.

Even as a girl, I had access to anything I desired.

My dad always made sure of it.

I recall the days when he was still married to my mom.

But it just didn't work out for them mutually.

My mom wanted to leave Miami to be back with her family in Korea—and my dad wanted to stay here where his legacy was.

And I wanted to stay with him.

At least up until my senior year of high school.

But even to this day, I always prefer my dad's place over my mom's.

I mean, my mom is incredible and very conservative—but in more of a soft way.

She's very gentle and has the softest voice.

I still don't understand how she even crossed paths with someone like my dad.

My mom was born in Korea but raised in Miami by her single mom—who left Gangdam for a life here in America.

When she met my dad, she was working toward earning her tenure as a professor.

It's odd because she isn't the type to party or go out.

My dad managed to run into her at a coffee shop and it seemed to be love at first sight.

Sometimes I think they'll get back together eventually.

If it wasn't for their desires to live on separate continents, that is. 

My mom's heart belonged to Korea and my dad's heart was rooted in Miami.

"I think it's channel seven," my dad said as he opened the pack of uncooked sugar cookies.

Our food will get here a little later since they have to prepare it at the restaurant first and then drop it off.

But we still decided to get a head start on the cookies, and I decided to change into a pair of my old pajamas.

It was just a pair of silky pajama pants and a short-sleeved shirt.

Which all weirdly still fit me.

Although the pajama pants were a little short on me, barely making it past my ankles. 

"Okay, I got channel seven up," I said, nodding at the news channel displayed.

And it was just in time for the tree lighting.

There's a countdown of ten minutes.

Which is perfect since I want to eat my food while watching a movie or something.

Not a tree lighting out of all things.

I suddenly grabbed my phone from the table, noticing it lit up with a text.

Which also alerted me to the texts Nelli had sent over thirty minutes ago.

Fuck, I forgot to tell her I left.

Smelly Nelli: Where did you go

Smelly Nelli: Vee?

Smelly Nelli: Did you leave?

Smelly Nelli: Text me as soon as you can

T: yo

T: everyone's wondering where you went

T: you good ?

Omara: Professor Chunnnn

Omara: Did u sneak off?

Omara: That's not very professor of u

Dani: hey sorry to text but everyone's wondering if you left?

I shook my head as I tried to respond to all their texts as quickly as I could, feeling bad that I had everyone worried about me.

Especially Nelli.

But luckily, she wasn't mad at all—she was just happy to know I was okay.

Meanwhile, Tahir responded with pictures of him in that hilarious inflatable Santa costume.

And Omara asked for extra credit points in exchange for me leaving early without saying anything—which I definitely wasn't giving her due to professional reasons. 

She already has an A in my class anyway. 

But either way, all was well.

Very well.

Minus one person.

Who I couldn't help but think about as I settled in with my dad on the large couch, watching the Christmas tree light up on the TV.

Even the small idea of her irritated me.

Yet I couldn't help but unconsciously search for her face in the crowd displayed on the large flat screen.

Only for a few seconds.

Until I snapped myself out of my search, forcing myself to recall the past.

To remind myself that she's the reason I left in the first place.

That's all she'll ever be.

The reason I left.