Trial by Fire
Added 2018-03-02 08:13:06 +0000 UTC
“Hey, you know what my dragon calls you?” I called back to Suri, wrestling Cutthroat into walking the right direction. “You’re ’Grumpy Lady’.”
“You want to know what I call your dragon?” Suri retorted.
“Yeah, but only if it’s PG-13. She’s a baby. Kid-friendly insults only, thanks.”
The woman scoffed, jogging ahead of Cutthroat and back out onto the street. The effect was instantaneous: Cutthroat trilled happily, and pranced off after her at the same speed, completely ignoring the reins, me, or anything else other than the new love of her life, Suri.
“So,” I began, once we were out on the street. “Did your upload screw up like mine? Because mine royally screwed up.”
Whatever goodwill I’d earned with Cutthroat vaporized, and suddenly, Suri had her business face firmly back on. “None of your bloody business, mate.”
“Is calling someone ‘mate’ in that tone of voice more or less friendly than calling someone a cunt?”
“Less. But you’re a real annoying cunt, anyone ever tell you that?”
I beamed at the back of her head. “When I get up in the morning, I sit on the toilet with my acoustic guitar and make up sad country songs about how annoying I am while I take a big ol’ cry-shit.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Suri muttered.
That’s me. Hector Park, ladies’ man.
