Control Dramas - The Main 4 Manipulative Character Types

Humans are conscious beings carrying energy. We transfer our energy in our encounters with others. This can be harmonious, aggressive, or anything in between. 

How we handle our relationships and situations with other people is heavily influenced by our upbringing and that is where our control dramas our developed. There are an abundance of character types and a multitude of ways our characters can be moulded. However, there are four main character types that we can easily identify in ourselves and others.

These character types are manipulative and known as 'control dramas'. They are part of human nature and must be understood completely.

While you may feel as though you are not a manipulative person, I must bring to your awareness the fact that you are. It is in our nature to manipulate others, ourselves and our circumstances. And we do this in many ways.

If we have not taken the necessary time to develop a level of self-awareness high enough to acknowledge our own manipulative nature, we will be subject to it due to our ignorance of it.

In this article I will enlighten you on the four main control dramas. It is then your task to figure out which control drama you identify with (you may identify with more than one) and to learn to either heal or work with it. How far you take it is up to you.

The Four Control Dramas

- ‘Intimidators' are the most aggressive of the four. They typically threaten others with dominance and abuse in order to gain control over a relationship or situation with another person. They attempt to literally 'steal' the energy of another person by force. Their main approach to this is through physical, psychological or emotional abuse.

- 'Interrogators' are more passive than the aforementioned, however they are still relatively aggressive. Their form of control drama is through judging and questioning others intensively. They attempt to incite feelings of inability and low self-worth in others with the aim to take control over a relationship or situation with a more passive-aggressive nature.

- The 'aloof' individual is more passive in their nature. They are typically quiet and seem to attract the energy of others towards them in a manor that has people seeking to constantly be giving them attention whether it be to please them or find out what they're really thinking. They are very reserved, but give just enough away to keep the relationship alive which incites a feeling of a need to do more in their victims. They may act like they want your attention, but they draw back the moment you engage.

- The final of the four is the 'poor me' control drama. These are the most passive in that they barely ever enforce their will upon others. They are similar to the aloof in that they have others coming to them, but in a much more negative manor. They always play the victim card and are always worse-off than someone else. They seek approval and validation off others, but it is never enough for them to truly change. They live in a negatively self-fulfilling prophecy.

How To Deal With Control Dramas

The extent at which you identify with the aforementioned character types will differ massively. You may have had so many different experiences that make you feel as though you can identify with all four. Or you may strongly identify with just one. Either way it is of immense importance that you analyse your own charter with such humility that you can see how and where your control drama is playing out.

It is also imperative you learn these well so that you can identify them in others which will help you better handle situations in which your previous ignorance would have you as the victim to the different control dramas.

On a personal, individual level, you must:

A) analyse your self and see what your dominant control drama is

B) acknowledge when your control drama is attempting to play out in real time and put a stop to it by becoming conscious of it and seeking to calm it down by typically directing your attitude in the opposite direction. Eg. if you are interrogating, seek to listen more than you speak in an attempt to allow the other individual to actually express themselves fully.

It must be noted that you are not a bad person for having a control drama. They are not really chosen by us, they are more moulded into us by our upbringing and the circumstances we‘ve experienced. You can either heal your control drama by seeking a deeper understanding of it and nurturing whatever mental/emotional wounds are present, or you can learn to live with it by following the steps previously mentioned.

With others, it is up to you what you do. If you can identify someone's control drama to them and help them evolve, then do so if you feel fit. However, if you feel as though there is no hope, the best option is to avoid the said individual completely or as much as possible to limit their attempting to enforce their drama on you.