The Unlucky Bathroom Attendant

Johnathan gets a new job as a bathroom attendant, but he's surprised to learn he will be working in the women's restroom, and the women there are anything but lady-like...

                "We're so glad you applied to the position of restroom attendant, Mr. Johnson," Sylvia said with a smile. "I'm certain that you'll fill the role excellently."

                Johnathan Johnson reached over the table and shook her hand. "I'm glad to hear that, ma'am."

                Sylvia beamed. "Let's see you to your post."

                Sylvia led Johnathan through the halls of the office building, her heels click-clacking. Johnathan felt his eyes wander down to her magnificent hips swing back and forth with each step like a bell and then further down to her sculpted calves. Johnathan swallowed hard and turned his attention to the ceiling.

                At the end of the hall, Sylvia stopped in front of the doors leading to the men's and women's restrooms and strode confidently toward the latter. Johnathan paused and looked from Sylvia to the men's door in confusion.

                "Oh, do you need to go?" Sylvia asked.

                "No, it's just that..." Johnathan's voice trailed off as the gears in his brain turned and he tried to understand what was happening.

                "You can go in a little bit. Right now, let me show you to your station," Sylvia said, disappearing into the women's restrooms.

                Johnathan swallowed hard as he realized that this bathroom attendant job was going to be much more complicated than he thought. Feeling his face turn red, he entered the women's restroom.

                Inside, Sylvia handed him a tray covered in complementary mints, hand sanitizers, and packets of wipes. "This is your tray. As you know, it will be your duty to service the ladies, make sure that their trip is as comfortable as possible, and keep the restroom clean."

                Johnathan nodded, surveying the restroom. He felt his throat grow dry as he saw the layout. There was a long well-lit sink with sleek marble, a row of hand dryers on the opposite wall, and, beyond that, eight sparkling toilets. Just the toilets, with no stalls to be found.

                "Th-the stalls?" Johnathan asked.

                "Oh those!" Sylvia said, turning around. "Well, the architecture in the building is a bit old fashioned, very utilitarian, you see. Just keep your eyes to yourself and don't disturb the patrons."           

                Johnathan nodded, slowly, trying very hard to process what was happening to him.

                Sylvia patted him on the shoulder. "No questions? Good. I'll be checking in on you later this afternoon!"

                Sylvia click-clacked away, leaving Johnathan in the silence of the restroom. Johnathan's heart raced. He needed to be professional at all costs, he thought. He would be like a robot and not intrude or stare or make an ass of himself.

                The door suddenly opened, and three women walked into the restroom, their dresses swishing around them still audible in the warped restroom acoustics over their cheerful voices. Johnathan stood to attention like a soldier, too straight and too rigged, looking right up at the ceiling.

                The women ignored him and walked past him to the toilets, their voices echoing throughout the restroom. But this was not enough to drown out the sharp splattering hiss as they began to pee in unison. Johnathan swallowed, he could imagine them sitting there half naked, silk panties around their ankles, knees together, releasing golden liquid between their soft lips. Johnathan felt a stirring, growing in his pants. He bit his lip and kept his eyes to the ceiling. There was a flush and then two more in quick succession. The women were still talking to themselves, but their words were white noise in Johnathan's ears. They walked past him to wash their hands, still ignoring him, and then walked out of the restroom like they hadn't seen him at all.

                Johnathan sighed, releasing a deep breath of air. He turned to the toilets and saw to his shock that one of the seats was absolutely drenched in piss. Johnathan winced, but this was the part of the job he expected. Taking a bunch of wet wipes from his pocket, Johnathan walked over and knelt down onto his knees. His face scrunched up as the rank smell of piss rose up to his nostrils. She must have been holding this in for a while, he thought.

                Trying not to breathe deeply, Johnathan started to wipe down the seat.

                Then, with a thunderous slam, the bathroom door burst inward. Johnathan whirled around to see a short woman with dark curly hair burst into the room. She was dancing on the balls of her feet, sweat dripping from her face. She was dressed in a pair of slacks, a simple sleeveless blouse, and short heeled pumps, which she promptly kicked off her feet across the floor as she ran toward the nearest commode.

                "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!" She panted, her voice rising with each syllable into an almost shriek. Johnathan's eyes widened in horror as she yanked her pants and panties down to her ankles, exposing pale chubby thighs and a round delicious ass which she then promptly used to spray the floor and the toilet seat with chunks of green splattering diarrhea. It burst free, escaped her asshole with a horrific sound that alternated between gurgling and a high-pitched hissing.

                The woman scrunched her face up in pain. "Oh fuck, it's like goddamn acid coming out of me."

                Johnathan, still on his knees, barely seven feet from the woman, was hit by the tidal wave of smell released from her tortured rectum. Johnathan felt himself grow dizzy and he pinched his nose, the raw sewage stink filled his entire respiratory system.

                Her knees wobbling, the woman descended from her half squat onto the messy toilet seat, falling onto her own shit and not giving a damn. She let out a deep moan, more solid turds crawling out of her depths with a fibrous crackling splortching sound that rang in Johnathan’s ears. Her eyes rolled back as a belching fart rippled out of her toxic asshole and splattered against the rapidly filling toilet bowl below her.

                Johnathan coughed. He smelled rotten eggs in the air, every part of the air. "Are you okay?" He asked and immediately regretted it. Opening his mouth meant that he would now TASTE her ass stink. He gagged, sputtering spit on the floor.

                "Oh, I'm fine," the woman said cheerfully. "I have these kinds of dumps once every couple of weeks. I eat like absolute shit. Is it getting hot in here?"

                "N-no?" Johnathan stammered as the woman reached down and tugged her slacks off her knees and down her legs. She kicked them off and they fell in a crumpled lump on the floor. Johnathan felt a deep urge grow between his legs. He couldn't turn himself away from her pale thighs squished against the toilet seat, and her calves and feet straining and pushing against the floor.

                Her panties, silk briefs with a little bow sewn into the front, were hanging around her knees. The woman pulled them off her legs and briefly held them up to her face, inspecting the skid marks on the seat of the panties with some disappointment. A high pitched, strained toot escaped her ass and, eyes wide, she tossed the panties onto the floor and refocused on destroying the toilet with the force of her shit.

                Johnathan felt light-headed, and his stomach turned. The woman doubled over and moaned, deeply and in absolute despair. Her asshole stretched open as a twisted, bent turd forced its way out. Rocky and solid, it escaped her ass at an awkward angle, stretching the ring of her asshole to its limits from the inside. With a thunderous plop the rocky turd plopped into the bowl, splattering her suspended round cheeks with shit.

                She breathed deeply, panting, staring off into space. Johnathan felt his dick, fully erect, trying to drill through the very fabric of his underwear and slacks. He dizzily held onto the toilet, trying not to think about how this was the horniest he had ever been in his life.

                The woman's stomach gurgled.

                "Oh god, it's still stuck." She said, looking around the restroom in a panic, as if for some sort of solution.

                She slowly lifted herself off the feet and raised her leg, planting her foot down on the shit covered seat. Johnathan watched, unblinking, as she raised the other leg and the other foot, until she was squatting down feet on the seat, knees up, clutching her shins.

                Between her legs the bright pink wavy lips of her pussy shown bright and slick through her sweaty dark pubic hair. Below, her ass was opening, and the skin of her asshole was stretching and distending around a dark pointed turd covered in bright, orange-y ass slime. She grunted like a boar, deep guttural inhuman noises as the turd slid out inch by inch, and almost never-ending train of rocky shit. As ten inches passed her eyes widened in shock as a sputtering stream of piss burst out of her, missing the bowl entirely because of her awkward squat and splattering right on the floor.

                Johnathan struggled to his feet, escaping the stream just in time. As he stood, he felt his dick, which was so hard it hurt, spring loose from his underwear and strain against his slacks. The woman, thankfully, hadn't noticed. She was watching as she peed and peed onto the floor in what seemed like an endless torrent.

                "Oh shit, sorry about that."

                "D-don't worry, I'll clean it up," Johnathan murmured, his brain filled with a swirl of horny emotions and his lunch a nauseous swirl in his stomach.

                The woman stood up, her messy feet splattering against the ground as she stood bottomless. She was much shorter than Johnathan, but all curves in her small stature. She turned to flush the toilet, pointing her shit covered ass at Johnathan, who tried to look away. She pushed the lever of the toilet, and it made a defeated clunking sound. She turned to Johnathan.

                "Can you fix this?"           

                Johnathan could barely breathe. "O-okay."

                Looking over the toilet, Johnathan gasped in shock. The entire bowl was filled with a gurgling mass of turds, a miasma of green and brown. In the middle, rising like an elephant's tusk, was the final twelve inch long turd, poking out of the bowl. The smell was overwhelming and even standing four feet over the toilet, Johnathan’s eyes and nose burned like he was being poisoned.

                "Oh my God, is that your dick?!"

                Johnathan whirled to look at the woman, who was kneeling down to stare at his unbridled erection tenting at his slacks. Her face, inches from his pulsing cock, was filled with wide eyed wonder and her mouth was open in shocked joy.

                "What- no, that's"

                Before Johnathan could finish, she lunged, her small hands grabbing his pants and underwear by the waist and yanking them down to his ankles. Johnathan's dick sprang upward, finally free, leaking precum.

                Struggling to reclaim his pants, Johnathan lost his footing on the piss-covered floor and fell onto his back, his dick pointing upward like a tower. Dizzy, dazed, and impossibly horny, Johnathan watched as the woman stood over him with her back to his face. She turned and grinned at him, slowly squatting down, grabbing the dick with one hand, her short but delicate fingers coiling around the shaft, guiding it. As she bent over, her muddy, shit covered, round globes parted, the slimy canyon, and the horrific colon that was the cause of the toilet's destruction was only a foot and a half from his face. The woman squatted down, guiding the dick up to her wet and ready entrance. His head kissed her lips and clit. Johnathan stared in horror at the ass and the realization of what was going to happen next, but he was too dazed by the smell to stand up or get her off of him.

                "d-don't..." He wheezed weakly.

                Ignoring him completely, the woman slowly guided the dick into herself while she squatted down. She closed her eyes and moaned, with her eyes and mouth closed, a deep purring hum. The dick filled her, parting her and stretching her open, a magical fleshy warmth filling her as lowered herself inch by inch.

                Johnathan panicked below her, straining with every muscle in his body to not instantly cum into the pussy clamping down, enveloping, swallowing his dick. He gripped the floor, trying not to thrust upward into her like an animal.

                The woman sighed when she had taken him in completely and shifted her body against his dick, beginning to ride him, expertly piloting his dick like a dildo, turning him into a warm and squirming sex toy. Suddenly, her stomach gurgled, interrupting the wet thrusting sounds of Johnathan’s dick plunging through her pussy.

                "Oh god," She said, clutching it, "I think you loosened something."

                Reaching back, she pried her filthy ass cheeks apart with one hand and a spray of orange liquid ass slime spewed out of her puckered ass and directly onto Johnathan's chest.

It smelled like death, was the last thing Johnathan thought before he passed out.

***

Click Clack

                "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!?"

                Johnathan woke up to find Sylvia standing over him, her face filled with rage. Johnathan looked down; he was half naked with his shirt covered in shit. His dick was absolutely deflated and resting in a puddle of its own cum. His balls were shriveled and felt lighter, as if they had been completely emptied. His face felt sticky…?

                Johnathan scrambled to his feet, grabbing his slacks, which had been discarded a few feet away. His underwear was nowhere to be found.

                "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Sylvia shrieked.

                Hobbling on one leg while his pants around the other, Johnathan streaked out of the restroom in a panic. As he rushed out the door, he almost collided with a pair of women on their way to the toilets. They immediately burst out laughing at the sight of his dribbling deflated dick.

***

                Later, on the subway, Johnathan sighed in defeat. He had to throw away his shirt and was just wearing his undershirt, jacket, pants, and shoes. His phone buzzed and he looked at the screen, but accidentally opened the gallery app. His stomach sunk into itself at what he saw.

                The gallery was filled with dozens of photos of women taking selfies while riding his unconscious body, most were riding his dick, but a few were riding his face, all while grinning for the camera, making peace signs or pursed duck faces. Frantically, Johnathan scrolled through the gallery. The women were never-ending, a thin blond had her dress hiked up was rubbing herself as she rode his dick, an overweight woman with her granny panties around her one leg grinded onto his face, a woman with long hair and bottle glasses had stripped completely naked while taking him, her stomach pressed against his as she arched her back and closed her eyes in pleasure.

                "Pervert."

                Johnathan looked down to see an old woman quickly walk past him in disgust. He looked even further down and saw his dick once again straining against his slacks with no underwear to restrain his erection.

                With a sigh of absolute, defeated humiliation and shame, Johnathan looked around for a bathroom.