Mr. Sakurai Presents Dixie Kong!

Super Smash Ultimate XL, the next installment of the series had been announced as a new game for the Switch 2. A direct port of Ultimate but with 12 new characters and stages, the announcement had sent the fanbase into a mouth-foaming, brain-rotting speculative frenzy. Everyone waited with anticipation for the next character trailer…

Donkey Kong yawned. He sat lazily in front of his TV set in his cabin and scratched absently at his ass. Nearby, Diddy rocked in his tire swing, K. Rool slept on his back and snored, and Banjo & Kazooie slept in a swaying hammock.

A familiar electric guitar sang out from the jungle outside, making everyone in the cabin jolt to their feet.

“Dixie Kong?” a few streamers watching the event said, their faces lighting up with excitement. “It’s gotta be Dixie Kong.”

DK, K. Rool, and Banjo & Kazooie slammed their faces against a window to see outside, smushing into each other. The window frame creaked, and Kazooie pecked angrily at the top of K. Rool’s head.

Outside, a ponytailed chimp-shaped silhouette holding a guitar stood under the orange sky.

“It’s Dixie!” some of the streamers shouted. Others just nodded, disappointed that the first new character was most likely going to be a clone character.

The four other characters leaned forward with wide eyes, making the window frame burst into bits.

With an explosion of confetti, the silhouette tossed the cardboard guitar and the blond wig away, revealing the pink-haired girl Villager!

The other character’s mouths dropped in disbelief.

Villager snickered silently, holding her puppet hands to her smirking face, enjoying her joke. That is, until- a fuzzy leg swung up and crashed shin-first into the Villager’s crotch. There was the unmistakable meaty CRUNCH of crushed and broken pussy.

The real Dixie Kong appeared, winking at the camera!

The other video game characters cheered and whooped in a joyful frenzy.

Propping her foot up on the ass of the crumpled Villager grabbing at her injured crotch, Dixie strummed victoriously on her electric guitar.

***

“Hello everyone, I’m Masahiro Sakurai, director of the Super Smash XL game. Today, I’d like to show you how to use Dixie Kong.”

Sakurai sat at his familiar desk, beginning the character showcase. While less people were watching compared to the trailer, thousands of people were still tuned in for the presentation to see how Dixie would play, especially long-time fans of the character.

“Now that the Nintendo Direct is over, I hope you will let me take a few more moments of your time. Now, who is Dixie Kong? Dixie Kong was introduced as Diddy’s girlfriend in Donkey Kong Country 2 before becoming the player one character in the third installment of the series,” Sakurai explained.

“There were plans to include Dixie with Diddy in Super Smash Brothers Brawl as a tag team fighter, but we decided to make Diddy a solo fighter instead. For this game, Dixie takes a lot of inspiration from Diddy for her regular attacks, but her special moves, which we’ll see in a moment, are completely unique,” Sakurai said. He turned to his screen.

“I’m going to be using two controllers to control Diddy and Dixie, but don’t worry, it will only be for a little while,” Sakurai chuckled.

Sakurai used both controllers to compare Diddy and Dixie’s moves, showing how most of them were very similar, with the exception of her back air, which was a butt attack where she thrust her ass toward the opponent instead of a kick.

“See, very similar.”

“Now, for her special moves. For Dixie’s neutral special she blows chewing gum bubbles. This is based on one of Dixie’s idle animations from the second Donkey Kong Country game. If you didn’t touch the controller, she would start blowing bubbles.”

Some of the streamers nodded, smiling, appreciating Sakurai’s trademark attention to detail and use of references.

Sakurai demonstrated Dixie’s neutral special, making her blow three purple chewing gum balloons that slowly drifted horizontally across the stage.

“The bubbles are projectiles and are surprisingly strong.”

Diddy tried to hit a bubble with his forward tilt, but it exploded on contact, knocking him away.

“You can only fire three bubbles at a time, but you can hold the B button down to make the bubbles larger and even more powerful.”

“For her side special, Dixie has a move that’s similar to Diddy’s side special, the Monkey Flip.”

“A lot of people don’t know this,” Sakurai said, smirking, “But Diddy’s side special was inspired by Cammy from Street Fighter’s classic move, the Hooligan Combination. It was one of the first moves of its kind in fighting games. It made sense to use a move like this for an acrobatic, tricky fighter like Diddy. But Dixie’s version, the Chimp Flip, has tricks too.”

Dixie walked back and forth on her hands and knees in front of Shulk. Sakurai had chosen Shulk’s swim trunk costume for the demonstration.

“The first version throws the opponent to the ground,” Sakurai said.

Dixie performed a flip, grabbing Shulk around the neck in a flying head scissor, gripping him with her legs and then yanking him down to the ground with her forward momentum. His body slammed against the ground and bounced from the impact whereas Dixie was immediately back on her feet.

“You may be able to get a follow up after landing the move,” Sakurai teased.

The Smash players livestreaming the event nodded, already formulating the types of combos they could get off the ground bounce.

“The other version is a grab with a unique pummel animation,” Sakurai continued. “We were inspired by this move by watching bonobos at the zoo. When making the original Donkey Kong Country, the developers watched gorillas for inspiration, and we wanted to continue that tradition here. Her down special, which we’ll see later is inspired by the chimps we met at the zoo.”

Dixie flipped forward again, but instead of going into a head scissor, she grabbed Shulk’s head with her hands and feet.

To the immediate horror of tens of thousands of viewers, Dixie began humping Shulk’s face.

She violently slammed and rubbed her monkey crotch against Shulk’s face, twisting her back and hips with grotesque, realistic motions. Her eyes were glazed, and a stupid slack smile decorated her panting face. Each hit of the “pummel” animation was accompanied by wet squishing sounds SQUSH SQUSH SQUSH, that seemed much, much too loud, reverberating in the headphones of the shocked, bug-eyed streamers watching.

The older gamers watching were horrified, enraged at one of their favorite childhood characters completely ruined before their eyes. Some of them looked like they would break into tears any second. The few that could pull their vision away from the face-fucking horror, looked around in confusion, wondering how this could possibly be real.

“Bonobos are very energetic creatures,” Sakurai chuckled, and his crew behind the camera politely laughed.

Splashing water effects accompanied each humping wet smack as the move continued for another second before Dixie kicked off Shulk’s face and flipped back to the ground. Shulk staggered back, his face wet and slick and dripping with pussy juice.

Sakurai pressed Shulk’s taunt button.

“I’m really feeling it!” Shulk said, flexing and doing a fist pump into the air, making Dixie’s fluids shake off his face.

“Don’t worry,” Sakurai laughed. “I think he liked it!”

Thousands of viewers cringed in unison.

“Next is her down special, Chimp Surprise.”

Dixie stood in front of Byleth, the two idling for a second before Dixie turned around and bent over, presenting her chimp butt into the air. With a rippling SSPPLLRRTtCCHH a fountain of slimy diarrhea sprayed out of Dixie’s fuzzy butt and all over the Byleth CPU.

“OH, HELL NO!”

“WHAT THE FUCK!?”

“WHY?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?”

Streamers exploded in fury and disgust and sobs of disbelief. Gamer chairs were discarded as they removed themselves from their desks, tossing down headphones to avoid the overwhelming sound of crackling, farting turds spraying out of the cartoon chimp’s asshole.

“We watched hundreds of hours of videos for reference to get the animation as accurate as possible,” Sakurai said proudly.

“I was surprised to find how many of these types of videos came from Japan,” Sakurai smiled. “In a way, I suppose that’s something to be proud of.”

The camera crew chuckled.

Sakurai paused the game and began moving the camera, tilting it away from the 2-D perspective.

“We’re using a special rom today, so the camera’s a bit different than the production version, but it allows us to show off this move in its full detail.”

The few viewers that remained were watching with traumatized expressions. They sat slumped in their chairs, unable to turn away as Sakurai moved the camera and zoomed in on Dixie’s ass.

Dixie’s butt raised in slow motion, cheeks spreading, pink asshole winking. Her pussy had been painstakingly crafted, using an obscene amount of polygons, her pink, wet folds shining within her fuzzy mound. A turd pulled open her asshole, stretching her, her ring pushing out.

BBLL-BBLLRRTTCCHH

The exiting turd made her buttcheeks bounce, a subtle rubbery animation. Her pussy opened, her mound pulsing from the shit forcing itself through her, rearranging her. Thousands of viewers watched with unblinking bloodshot eyes, openly weeping as Dixie Kong, their beloved video game character, opened the folds of her pussy, presenting her wet, textured, gaping vagina. Creamy white discharge dribbled out of her pulsing orifice, running down wavy lips and clinging to her hair before stretching downward like a line of snot from her erect clit.

Sakurai, mercifully, returned the camera to the normal perspective.

“You can hold down the button to make her use the move indefinitely” Sakurai said.

The arc of shit continued bursting out of Dixie, her small asscheeks vibrating from the sheer intensity of the SLURPING line of girthy, weighty poo. The shit splashed against Byleth’s face and chest, sticking to her skin like matted mud. The heavy mass of feces sloughed off her face and tits, splattering to the ground at her heels. Her damage counter was increasing slowly, but the shit stream wasn’t pushing her back.

PPHHRRTTSSPPPLLLRRBBBBLLBB

“Ee-EE!” Dixie chirped happily.

“We also spent a lot of time getting the texture and consistency just right,” Sakurai beamed. “As you can see, the move doesn’t do a lot of knockback on grounded opponents, but it has a different effect on mid-air opponents.”

Sakurai made Byleth jump up straight into the infinite stream of chimp shit. She was immediately struck down and caught off balance, falling face first onto the growing pool of diarrhea on the floor with a horrific wet SPLAT. The shit arc continued, hitting her right on her skyward pointed, booty short-covered ass, splashing against her cake and hose-covered thighs with violent splatters.

Byleth started to get up, but she slipped in the shit and fell back down to her ground, her tits crushed between her weight and the floor.

“The puddle left by the attack also has a tripping effect,” Sakurai said.

Byleth’s entire body was covered in clumps of vile chimp shit, a wet pasty coating of brown covering her whole body, so realistic that the faces of the viewers curled as if they could smell it. She tried to get up again, this time successfully standing.

“You may think that this makes the move invincible,” Sakurai said, “But you can attack through the stream.”

Sakurai made Byleth roll out of the way of the shit and then charge her forward smash, readying her giant lance, angling it right toward Dixie’s hairy behind.

“THERE!” Byleth shouted. She stabbed the lance point right up Dixie’s asshole and cunt, sending the chimp flying off the stage.

“AAAAIIEEEE!!!” Dixie screamed, grabbing at herself.

“If you hit Dixie in her weak points,” Sakurai chuckled, “She has a unique damage animation and is sent much farther than normal.”

Sakurai made Dixie jump back to the stage, grabbing at the ledge.

“This is a very unique move and we’re excited to see you all enjoy it.”

“Now, for her up special…”

The presentation continued, but the audience was crushed, their childhoods ruined, horrific images burned into their brains, their tiny gamer souls completely broken.