On Korriban
Added 2019-12-23 09:29:08 +0000 UTCTogruta jedi got into a difficult situation.
Let me know about mistakes in text.
Uncens version attached.
Comments
Quite interesting
William Richard Bragg
2019-12-23 20:02:24 +0000 UTCOk, thank you)
Flick
2019-12-23 16:44:48 +0000 UTCSince you asked for english feedback: - "You won't be able to resist my massassi for a long time, Jedi!" would be better as "You won't be able to resist my massassi for long, Jedi!" - "He is right, I am losing touch with force." should be "He is right, I am losing touch with the force." The Force is always referred to with a 'the' in front of it in Star Wars. - "And where is my stupid padawan at such a moment?" I would rephrase as "And where is my stupid padawan at a time like this?"
Terrarkul
2019-12-23 16:25:56 +0000 UTCThanks!
Flick
2019-12-23 11:31:23 +0000 UTCVery dynamic. I love how you drew the Massassi!
Jay Aury
2019-12-23 10:37:46 +0000 UTC
