Call Me God - Text Version

I finally wrote the conclusion to this epic three-part story!

"I look around. Outside of the atmosphere, it's so much easier to see all the stars. I just need to grow big enough to swallow the sun... And now that's done. I stick it inside of me, and I feel no pain. My wetness extinguishes it in an instant. I shove it inside, and I barely feel a thing. It's not big enough to satisfy me. Nothing is anymore.

Now it's dark, at least. Now I can really see the stars.

There's nothing around me for light years. I can't see the other planets, they're too small for me to even spot now. For all I know I might have smashed them when I grew. I'm probably about the size of the solar system now.

Now I'm really, truly alone. I feel a moment of panic, like butterflies flying around in my gargantuan stomach, but that fades. The emptiness that I was worried about... I don't feel it. I don't feel much of anything, except for boredom. And there's only one thing that will entertain me now: destroying everything else.

I need to grow bigger. Billions of times bigger. Trillions of times bigger. It will make all my growth so far look like nothing... But I'm practically omnipotent, and I've got all the time in the world.

Time. I think about that concept for a moment. The bigger I got, the faster the days seemed to pass. Maybe it wasn't all in my head. Maybe I was slowing down, as I got bigger. Synapses have to travel longer to move from neuron to neuron. That makes sense, right? I don't follow all the laws of physics, but I've got to follow some of them.

I can see the stars spinning through the sky.

Now, I have the sensation that time has slowed down even more. That what feels like a moment to me might be a century. Or a millenia. Or an aeon.

That means I'm on a clock. If I want to destroy the universe, really destroy it, I need to outgrow everything before it all fades away. Before every one of those suns burns itself out, and the remaining matter is stretched so thin that I can't catch it all.

I feel the power coursing through me. I can feel it inside, like electricity is surging through me, making me bigger and bigger. I can feel myself growing, eating up the universe all around me. I can feel myself becoming larger than anything before me.

I am a giant now. I am an unstoppable force. I am the destroyer. I am the creator.

I am a goddess.

No. That's not right. Not definitive enough. I'm not one Goddess among many. I am the sole perfect being. There is nothing else like me in the cosmos. I'm not just a Goddess.

I am God.

A dozen stars are within my grasp now. I don't bother reaching for them. There's no sense in wasting my time with something that will be beneath my contempt in just a few moments. A few moments for me, anyway. It might be a billion years for everyone else.

Another moment passes. Now I'm ensconced in the milky way. A million stars ring around my head like a halo. A billion more wrap around me like a dress. I keep growing. One by one they press against me, exploding from the force as I expand. My body crushes them by the millions, bursting them into black holes, which implode themselves quickly enough. All of them sacrificed to pay homage to my beauty, and the vastness of my being. The last of the galaxy is gone before long.

It's still not enough for me. I grow bigger. It feels like a moment, but it probably takes an aeon. Now entire galaxies encircle me by the thousands. Then the millions. I grow, and grow, and grow. More are destroyed, and more. And yet, as big as I've grown, as massive as I am, so many stars are too far away to be pulled in by my gravity. I can see the most distant galaxies running away from me. Flying off in all directions, faster than I can grow. I despair. How many billions of years have passed by now? Is existence really at its end?

But then I remember.

I made myself weightless.

Once more, I have mass. I'm bigger than everything else in the universe by far. I'm a living black hole, a trillion times more massive than anything that had ever existed before me. Countless stars are pulled towards me, drawn in by my sheer, inescapable mass.

Soon, my enormous mass pulls those errant galaxies back towards me. It must have taken millions of years, at a minimum, but to me it feels like a brief moment. They hurtle towards me by the millions, crashing against my perfect, infinite form. They are engulfed by me, absorbed by me. The universe itself becomes a part of me.

I'm ensconced in the glow of a trillion exploding stars. The very stuff of creation explodes around me, in a grand climax of destruction. Billions of years to the universe, a moment to me.

And then I'm alone.

Complete blackness. Primordial. Utter emptiness. Except for me.

I try to will a new universe into existence. I contemplate, and strain, and philosophize. For eons, I try every permutation. I push the limits of my every ability... and it does nothing. I am still alone.

But then, an idea occurs to me. Maybe I'm not meant to create this new universe. Maybe I am this new universe... or the kindling for it.

As soon as this idea occurs to me, it feels obvious. Inevitable. But to create something new, I'll need to do the unthinkable. I'll need to die. If I'm truly omnipotent, that should be within my power, right? It should be.

If I succeed, will I ever know? Will any part of my consciousness be left behind? Or will everything that's left of me be engulfed in the flames of a new big bang? I guess there's only one way to find out.

I channel all my energy at once. Reserves of power that I didn't even know I had flow through me. My skin glows so bright that I'm instantly blinded. My body burns. I can feel my mind and body fraying at the seams. Reality itself starts to rupture. I want so badly for the pain to end, but I have to continue. It's too late to stop now. I channel it, further and further, until everything comes together.

In the center of my mind, a black hole denser than anything in existence begins to form. Everything is pulled into it. My very thoughts spiral around the hole. Time dilates further. Every moment drags on for eternity. A single though is held for what feels like a trillion years.

Finally, it ends. A moment ago, an eternity ago, my form had swelled up to encompass the entire universe. It still does, but now that universe has been compressed, to a smaller size than a single atom. The last remnants of my humanity are gone now. I have nothing resembling a body. I am a perfect sphere, infinitely dense and infinitely small. But I won't stay that way for long.

I kick things off with a bang. The universe explodes outward. I explode outward. A trillion atoms burst out, flying in every direction, a thousand times faster than the speed of light. My consciousness is shattered. I am no longer a single being. I am a trillion trillion isolated islands of consciousness, all speeding outward, all too small to hold a single thought.

And then it begins to coalesce. Nebulas form, and then stars, all imbued with my being. Elemental. Primordial.

Galaxies full of life spiral around each other, all made up of me. I am everything. I am the universe. I am God.

Life begins to form, simple at first, and then more complex. Small souls beget bigger ones. It takes six billion years of evolution, but conscious beings emerge. A species of people not entirely unlike those from my old universe come into being. They are fruitful, and multiply. A million fractured bits of my consciousness re-emerge, into something resembling my essence.

A holy man wanders out into the wilderness, and prays to a god he does not yet know. I answer his prayers, and create an avatar to speak with him. It's in the form of my old body, but created from ten thousand points of light. I speak with him in a thousand voices all at once, and give him a message. I tell him that I am his creator. I instruct Him on the best way to worship Me. I command them to follow My laws. I destroy My avatar, for it has served its purpose. He goes back and shares this message with his people.

A hundred years pass. His people grow decadent. They dishonor themselves, and they dishonor Me. They have forgotten my commandments. I will remind them.

I create a new avatar, ten thousand cubits tall. This time it is made not from light, but from flesh. Once again, I have a body. Once again, I will use this body to destroy.

I stand before the city that offendeth Me most. I raise my foot in the air, and gaze upon the wretched masses below. They gaze upon My being with terror. I see the sin in their hearts, and I deem them unworthy. I bring my heel down, and smite them beneath Me.

I hoped to find a single righteous man, so that I might spare them, but I find none. There is nothing of value to preserve. All must be destroyed. I walk the earth, smiting city after city, until there is nothing left but a wasteland. A vast desert, bereft of life. The world is dead, but now I will make it anew.

I let my avatar fall onto the ground, its connection with the divine light severed. The avatar's blood spills, and from it form the rivers and the oceans. Its flesh decays, but from the rot springs a new garden, one formed not through Chaos with divine Intention. I create new birds and beast, like the ones I remember from the old world. I create a new woman, in my own image; and from her bones, I create her a companion.

I know how this will end. They will sin, and they are cast out of the garden, as I knew they would be. Their descendants will be fruitful, and they multiply until they cover the earth. Ten thousand years will pass. Great towers will be built. Men will fly, and weapons of terrifying power will be constructed. But all of that pales in comparison to the birth of a single person.

One woman, who is Me reborn. Not a mere avatar, but my own self made flesh. She does not yet know what she is, but she will find out in time. She will sing, and the world will listen. She will travel the world, and they will worship her. But that will not be enough. She knows that she is more than them, and she will grow. Bigger than their cities. Bigger than their earth. And finally, bigger than me. She will devour me, until she is all that remains. And then the cycle will begin anew. For I am all there is. I am all there has been. And I am all there will be."