redfiredog

Ariana's Highway Oopsie

Added 2022-08-31 18:57:16 +0000 UTC

Ariana was asked about an incident on a highway near New York City, where she's alleged to have crushed a number of people under her boots. Ariana stated, "What, it was a foggy day. You expect me to be able to see every person? I was just trying to get a little exercise while they cleared the road. It's not my fault that I'm naturally a tall girl. If a short person makes a mistake, nobody says anything. Why do they have to pick on me? It was an accident, and it was just for a few seconds. Don't you have anything better to do than dwell on the past?""

When the interviewer pointed out that it appeared to be deliberate, and Ariana had crushed every last person and car on the highway, Ariana defended herself by saying "So what? I just wanted to get off a little steam, okay? Performing can be stressful. I wanted to take a little anger out, that's all. Crushing people under your shoes feels so nice. At the end of the day, what's the big deal? I lost my temper. It's not the worst thing in the world. Oh, but I left two survivors. I could tell they were real fans!"

The interviewer asked Ariana about whether she was worried about the legal ramifications of her actions. Ariana said, "Don't go starting rumors. I'm just trying to do my job here. You know what? You're a bunch of liars, and I'm going to go kill everyone in this building. Watch." With that, Ariana took off her shoes, made a run for the exit, and began to grow. In an instant, the whole building started to shake. The lights went out, and soon a gigantic Ariana emerged from the building, utterly destroying the structure. There were no survivors.

When the interviewer tried to contact Ariana's representatives for further comment, they were not available.