Mind Blind Blooper Scenes (Chapter 10 Intro)

I often write the "fun" scenes first, which then leaves me to agonize over the expositional bridges. The final scene usually combines aspects/sentences/phrasing from all the different drafts. Chapter 10 has been a record breaker, however, as I'm now on Version 13 with still no final version. 

Below, I've copied three (shortened for spoilers) versions of Chapter 10's intro (Versions 1, 5, and 12). You can see how the scenes tend to lean more and more ridiculous, until eventually I stumble upon something half-decent and slam back down to reality.

(Side note: writing atrociously silly and bad can be a great way to get into the writing groove when you're really not feeling it.)

Take 1

“An invitation from Rudzite himself? This is great news!”

*if (Glitchromance)

Despite Glitch’s projected cheer, ${the} hasn’t let go of your hand all morning—not since you arrived in underground HQ with ${Kim} to find ${thim} and ${Kent} already waiting.

*elseif (Glitchbreakup)

Despite Glitch’s projected cheer, ${the} hasn’t met your gaze all morning— not since you arrived in underground HQ with ${Kim} to find ${thim} and ${Kent} already waiting. Perhaps ${the}’s still upset about your decision to end things.

*else

Despite Glitch’s projected cheer, ${the} hasn’t stopped pacing nervously from holomonitor to holomonitor—and has been doing so all morning, since you arrived in underground HQ with ${Kim} to find ${thim} and ${Kent} already waiting.

It’s 8am, an hour before your classes. ${Kim} insisted that you and ${Kent} continue to attend classes, claiming to have arranged things so that you’ll be able to train for Operation Hemera in plain view.

*if (Rosygym)

[i]Think Kim plans on shooting you again? It seemed to me like ${khe} enjoyed doing so a little too much.[/i] Nick gives a mental snort. [i]Perverted sadist.[/i]

*elseif (Nover = false)

[i]Care to bet on what torture Kim’s planned next?[/i] Nick thinks. [i]My money’s on thumbscrews and the rack.[/i]

*else

[i]Care to bet on what . . .[/i] Nick falls silent. [i]Nevermind.[/i]

“Viktors Rudzite died over two decades ago,” ${Kim} says. “Whomever this ‘Reese Rudzite’ is or claims to be, they’re not Vengeance’s founder.”

Take 5

“Again.”

You and ${Kent} exchange exhausted looks at ${Kim}’s barked order. You two have been training since early this morning, under the pretense of being in the NPO Program together but in reality for tonight’s dinner.

“I said, [i]again[/i].” ${Kim} doesn’t look happy to repeat ${khim}self.

With a sigh, you reach for your bo staff. ${Kim} refused to let you use anything sharp or explosive, and it was decided that Nick’s chosen weapon was best since he could give you tips in combat. You cast an envious gaze at ${Kent}’s daggers, currently sheathed across ${khis} lower back. Now [i]those[/i] could do some damage.

*if (Nover = false)

[i]So can a bo staff,[/i] Nick argues. [i]Or a pool cue. Most evil overlords have a pool table in their lair . . . Also a chessboard. For ambiance, I guess.[/i]

*else

[i]So can a bo staff,[/i] Nick argues, sounding resigned. [i]Although Kim is being overly optimistic if ${khe} thinks you’ll listen to my advice.[/i]

“Who is this Reese Rudzite, anyway?” ${Kent} asks as ${khe} raises ${khis} fists defensively. You try not to take offense at the fact that ${khe} doesn’t even consider your incoming attack worth arming ${khim}self against.

Take 12

[i]By Captain Crunch's toasted knickers,[/i] Nick thinks. [i]I hate that we have to be in expositional scenes before all the fun stuff happens![/i]

[i]Why are you talking like a 1920’s cartoon character?[/i] you demand.

Nick projects a mental shrug. [i]Because the intro to Chapter 10 still needs to be written and our author has run out of cuss words. Writer's block and whatnot.[/i]

“At least the party scenes are finished,” ${Kent} interjects, magically appearing because describing people exiting elevators quickly becomes tedious. “Which is the bulk of this chapter.”

“Yes, but you and Rosy were supposed to get a moment to shine!” Glitch also interjects, having magically appeared as well. “Or at least sparkle. Twinkle? It's meant to be a fun little expositional flirting before everything goes all Highway to the Danger Zone.” ($!{The} sings the last words.)

${Kim} exits the nearby elevator, because ${khe} refuses to defy the laws of physics and "poof" into a room. $!{Khe} takes one look at your clown costume, realizes that ${khe}’s entered a nonsensical scene, and leaves in disgust.