Lady Death's Diary: Chapter 7

I remained in Kothe a few weeks longer in order to celebrate my fifteenth birthday with my family. The day passed without much incident, which was more to my preference than the party Loren had desired. Theo gifted me a few books he’d brought from Anterdon. He hadn’t read any of them, of course, but claimed that all had been endorsed by a “booky” friend. Uncle Alistair gave a painted miniature of my mother from when she was my age, and Catherine generously signed over ownership to one of the trading vessels in her fleet (supposedly this gift was from my father as well). Letty shyly presented a framed piece of embroidery with Rhys and Tivall crests intertwined. I managed to accept it with a smile before immediately locking it away in my desk drawer so as to avoid the nauseous rage that arose whenever it caught my eye.

Uncle Alistair seemed intent on making up for lost time during his stay; he followed me (and, by proxy, Letty) around as I visited Rhys tenets. I couldn’t help them much, once I returned to Bellcrest, but I did my best to put their minds at ease over their new Duchess and recorded of their various issues and a list of recommendations to present to Catherine. A loan for Goodwoman Blythe, since Arabeth had died and she needed a new cow to reopen her cheesemaking business. Goodman Willis needed a new farmhand, and Edgar Vint needed work—the two should meet.

In between houses, Alistair regaled me with stories about my mother from when she’d been young. I took the opportunity to learn all I could about the cause behind his unexpected arrival.

“My sister was always the smart one,” he admitted one night. The rest of the household had long since gone to bed, but I had discovered him in the kitchens when I went down to fix a cup of my nightly chamomile tea to help me sleep. Given the astringent fumes coming from my uncle’s cup, he’d poured himself something stronger. “We grew up in Bellcrest, you know. From too minor a family for anyone to care overmuch what we went or what we did, so we of course went everywhere and did everything.” He grinned behind his beard. “Got up to all sorts of trouble.”

“I can’t imagine her as a rebel,” I said. “She always seemed the perfect lady.” Aloof, frigid. Indifferent to my existence. I’d tried to hug her, the last night before she left. She had pushed me away and chided that sticky fingers would ruin her dress.

Alistair caught my implication. “Mari was the most accomplished woman I knew but she never could deal with children. Even her own.”

“I’m grieved to have been such an imposition.” As always, I resorted to sarcasm to hide how deeply his words cut. Not only was I an inconvenience to Loren and Letty, my own mother hadn’t wanted me underfoot either.

He set his teacup down on the kitchen table and took my hand. “She was proud of you, even if she didn’t quite know how to show it. Described you as her little turtle; said that you were quiet but possessed a hard shell. That you were a survivor.”

A survivor. I wasn’t sure whether the description was accurate or inaccurate given my series of deaths. My eyes stung, and I decided to change the subject.

“Did you ever meet His Majesty when you lived at Bellcrest?”

“Eldin? We were friends, or as close to friends as anyone can be with their future king,” he said. “Mari and I were both half in love with him, I think, as was most the Court. If the Prince resembles his father, you’re quite a lucky girl.”

He hadn’t asked a question, and there was no indication in Uncle Alistair’s pleasant expression that his words held deeper meaning. Yet I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was somehow under interrogation, that he was trying to dig deeper into my feelings about the betrothal. As if my opinion were more important than the political alliance. I hid my frown behind my teacup; the tea was hot and bitter, but we’d run out of honey.

“Most ladies would consider themselves lucky to wed a prince,” I said.

“But good looks don’t hurt,” he teased.

I shrugged. “I know my duty. But tell me, why come back to Verdan? I can’t imagine you’re not needed back at the embassy in Anterdon.”

Alistair accepted the shift in topic with ease, as if sensing that my engagement was an uncomfortable subject. “A favor to a friend,” he said. “She asked me to escort her son across the border into Verdan. Fengali raiding parties having been testing Anterdon’s patience with increasing regularity, and she worried the boy might be caught in the cross fire.”

“That’s quite the favor for you to leave your post.”

“She’s quite the friend,” he said. “Besides, I’ll be returning in a few days once you head back to Bellcrest. No point in remaining here without my favorite niece!”

I appreciated the sentiment, but nevertheless had to consciously keep my brow from furrowing. His answer failed to explain why he at Rhys Manor now, when my diary had no records of him being present in any of my other seven lives. Even if I’d considered the detail too trivial to record and memorize (unlikely), I should still have some vague recollection of him had we ever met. But Alistair remained an unknown, even as my fondness for him had grown over the weeks past. It was impossible to dislike someone so similar in temperament to Theo.

“What is your friend’s name?” I asked. “Perhaps I could pass on your regards.”

His moustache twitch with a grin. “No need. Her son already bears a letter of complaint about how much she inconvenienced me.” His gaze held an unfamiliar flintiness despite his smile. He knew that I had been prying and wanted that I should let the matter drop.

Since the warning was nonverbal, I decided to press my luck. “Was she friends with Mother as well? I would like to speak to others who knew her back then.” 

His eyes softened and I added, “It’s hard to recall her sometimes, given how young I was when she died.”

Or, more accurately, when she'd been murdered in an attempt to sabotage Anterdon’s relationship with Verdan. Not that the attempt had worked, given that my uncle had promptly taken over her position as ambassador. But that was another matter, and one my uncle most likely believed I was still in the dark about. As curious as I was regarding my mother’s death, my goal right now was to understand what I’d done that had resulted in his and Theo’s unexpected presence. Perhaps it seemed narcissistic. But it stood to reason that if something differed in one of my timelines, it most likely did revolve around me.

Alistair wasn’t moved by my confession. He stood and patted my head. “I’ll tell you more stories about Marianne in the morning,” he said. “For now, we should both get some sleep.”

*****

My uncle continued to dodge my questions over the next few days, meeting my queries with jokes and distracting me with more tales of his misadventures at Bellcrest, many of which had necessitated him being extricated by King Eldin himself. The two had been closer than I’d realized, and I resolved to ply the King himself for more information once I returned to Bellcrest. When it was finally time to leave Kothe, however, I surprised myself by tearing up as I bid my uncle farewell.

We would most likely not meet again if I died.

My uncharacteristic weepiness disoriented Theo, but he valiantly attempted to cheer me up.

“I’m returning with you to Bellcrest,” he announced. “Uncle Al thought it’d be best if I spent some time in Court since I’m already in Verdan. The Anterdonians are so much more relaxed in their customs that I’d half-forgotten which fork to use during dinner.”

“A scandal in the making,” I said. “No wonder our uncle is alarmed.”

Theo grinned. “He probably doesn’t want me going full native the way he has.”

I thought back to the way Uncle Alistair had lifted Catherine off the ground during their first meeting. He was more self-aware than I gave him credit. Despite their rough first impression, he and my brother had both managed to win over the new duchess during their visit: Uncle Alistair because he was impossible to dislike, and my brother because he’d wisely stopped flirting with Letty after I’d drawn his attention to our stepmother’s suspicious glares. After that, Theo went out of his way to cater to Catherine’s every whim—rightfully suspecting, I surmised, that the more she liked him, the longer she’d be willing to let him avoid taking on his responsibilities as heir (namely, getting married himself).

I was hesitantly gladdened that Theo would be coming with me. Yes, he would be safer in another country should I end up prematurely convicted of treason before my seventeenth birthday. But on the other hand, he would only be staying for a few months and I selfishly looked forward to his company.

I was less enthusiastic in regards to Catherine’s decision that Letty join us as well, even though she had yet to make her official debut at Court. Catherine deemed that Theo’s presence meant this trip would be the safest time Letty to travel, declaring that the presence of such strapping young man would give any potential bandit pause. I wanted to protest that the only time I’d ever met bandits, they’d been hired by her daughter.

Since I couldn’t outwardly display my displeasure at Letty’s inclusion without giving raise to questions that I was unable to answer, I settled for using my new spell to slow the hands of every clock in the manor until they all ran between two to five minutes behind. Perhaps not my most mature accomplishment, but the discrepancies between the timepieces and his pocket watch would annoy Father to no end.

And so, Theo, Letty, and I returned to Bellcrest together. Theo attempted to keep the mood light with jokes and songs, but tenseness nevertheless lingered in the air between Letty and me. In the end, I opted to ride on a mount, a timid if sweet-hearted gelding that I bought at one of the inns. Better to enjoy horseback and the wind in my hair than to suffer through my brother’s inane chatter and Letty’s deceitful giggles.

It was only when we reached the city that I returned to the carriage, Bellcrest’s roads being too narrow for me to ride abreast the carriage. I squinted in the strong afternoon sun as we stepped outside, but Letty’s eyes widened as she gazed at the castle.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered in a reverent tone. She tugged at my sleeve. “Isn’t it beautiful, Tru?”

The palace predated the rest of Bellcrest City, which had been rebuilt after the old capital had been devastated by magefire during the Uprising, and had somehow survived unscathed despite sitting at the heart of the capital. The white sunstone building reflected light and glowed slightly pink during dusk and dawn. No one was sure where the stones had originated: some scholars theorized they came from magic-infused quarries that were now depleted, while Delphine believed that its unique sheen was the mark of long-faded magical wards. Her conjecture always seemed more reasonable to me since, from a structural standpoint, the castle itself was defensively useless.

No high walls would protect against an invading army. Instead, six round towers encircled the main keep, connected by bridges that arched too high above the Courtyard to serve as any sort of blockade. Enormous brass bells, polished to gold, hung at the top of all the towers except the observatory. Rumor had it that the bells rang by themselves should Bellcrest ever be threatened, though no one alive had ever heard them toll.

“It’s nice enough.” I extricated my arm from Letty’s grasp. “Rhys family quarters are in the northeast tower. Emilia will make sure your luggage is delivered to your rooms. Follow me.”

My lady’s maid glowered at my offer of her services. Being responsible for baggage was a task she most likely considered beneath her. Emilia could be supercilious and self-important, and she possessed entirely too many opinions regarding how I should wear my hair, but she was loyal to a fault and as close to a friend as I had in my last life, although she herself wasn’t aware of our prior jailcell connection.

I made a mental note to give Emilia first pick from the pile of birthday presents that no doubt awaited in my rooms—disguised bribery from the usual Court sycophants angling for a mention to Loren.

Letty’s head whipped back and forth as we crossed the Courtyard. She kept pausing to stare upwards at the elongated stained-glass windows of the main keep, each immortalizing a king or queen who had once resided within. Her neck would be sore come morning. The windows were beautiful, though, especially from inside the castle, when sun shining through the colored glass transformed the throne room into a kaleidoscope of dancing colors. But if I were an enemy general, those windows would be my point of entry. Magically ringing bells or no, glass cannot stop a sword.

Patrolling guards were trained to avoid Letty’s zigzagging, but several passing nobles snickered at her slack-jawed wonder. My glare sent them scurrying off with ducked heads.

Once, I’d considered Letty enrapturement with Bellcrest to be charming. It came across less so after I’d discovered what drastic measures she would take in order to never leave.

“Will you be living with us?” Letty asked when we reached the northeast tower.

Theo answered for me. “As the Prince’s fiancée, Tru lives in the castle proper. She’s far too high and mighty to reside with the rest of us mangy northerners.” He heaved a theatric sigh and wiped away a false tear.

I elbowed his side. “You marry Loren then.”

Theo’s face contorted in exaggerated repulsion, but Letty sighed dreamily. “It sounds wonderful,” she said. “To think, Tru! Someday, you’ll be queen of such a beautiful castle. You’ll be so majestic.”

“I’ll be queen of the entire country,” I said, unable to keep the bite from my voice. “With a responsibility to provide for my people. Ruling means more than being the owner of a pretty home.”

Letty’s pert nose wrinkled. “Yes, of course.”

“My sister takes duty very seriously,” said Theo. “Very, very, very seriously.”

I frowned at him. “I promised to attend to Lady Delphine as soon as I returned,” I fibbed. Anything to get away. “I’ll see you both for dinner this evening.”

“Very!” Theo’s voice chased me as I fled.

I ignored him. Fleeing hadn’t been my most dignified option. But in Letty’s presence, I was unable to keep my mind from looping through the same ominous thoughts. When would she stop simply admiring the castle and begin to covet it? In a year? Right away? Would Armond approach her? Would she approach him? Were they working together as I suspected, or where my conclusions off base? Even now, before Letty and Loren had even met, was she already planning to take my place?

A visit to Delphine would provide a necessary distraction. I could tell her about the slowing spell. Hopefully, her annoyance that I’d taken a tome without her permission would be short lived in light of my success. I hastened to a walking-jog just barely within the bounds of decorum.

I rapped once on the door to Delphine’s study but didn’t bother waiting for a reply before opening it. My eagerness dwindled into awkwardness when confronted with the tableau inside: Delphine embracing a man. I could only see the back of his head, but he was taller and had a different hair color than her usual guest.

King Eldin was not going to be pleased.