Bloopers from Cupid Calamity
Added 2021-02-08 12:58:15 +0000 UTCSubtitle: The Roast of Satan
(Sub-Subtitle: Sorry, Clarence.)
"You know, Clarence, it's quite a feat that your combover manages to hide both your bald spot and your horns."
"Clarence, you oily fustilarian, do shut up."
"Clarence, I want to marry you solely for how much I would enjoy our acrimonious divorce."
"Sorry. I didn't hear you over the tortured shrieks and agonized howls of my soul that started as soon as I saw you enter."
"Oh, dearest Clarebear. How I'm going to miss your silly little sadism once I graduate!"
Objectively speaking, Clarence Garfield is not an unattractive man.
His features are even, if narrow, and you suspect that he might have a nice smile if he ever stopped scowling. But his personality is so noxious, so petty and cruel towards those whom he perceives as weaker, that his otherwise pleasant visage curdles until all you can see is that his ears are lopsided and the pores on his nose overlarge. Minute flaws, which would on anyone else go unnoticed or even add charm, dominate and corrupt his entire face. Not because of the flaws themselves, but because Clarence's spiritual odiousness makes you focus on his physical imperfections.
Comments
"You know, Clarence, it's quite a feat that your combover manages to hide both your bald spot and your horns." LOLOLOLOL
Mich
2021-02-10 23:43:18 +0000 UTCI learned the word "fustilarian" from Shakespeare's Henry IV!
Jo O'Connor
2021-02-09 20:14:57 +0000 UTCnot even Shakespeare could come up with insults as clever as these lmao
Maddy
2021-02-08 14:31:59 +0000 UTCOh boy, given these are the rejects cue me rubbing my hands gleefully all eager for the kept ones (not that I wasn't unbelievably excited anyway haha) 💕
Katie Williams
2021-02-08 13:09:03 +0000 UTCButton is the protagonist and thus gets the best lines (because these are the edited-out rejects)!
Jo O'Connor
2021-02-08 13:05:31 +0000 UTCClarebear gets his moment to shine. And that's all I'm saying for now.
Jo O'Connor
2021-02-08 13:03:35 +0000 UTCWhy, thank you! I was suspended multiple times in junior high for ill-advised puns involving my teachers' names 😅
Jo O'Connor
2021-02-08 13:03:16 +0000 UTCoh wow, that last one is some quality 'anyone fancy some chargrilled Clarence?' 🤣👌🏻 like daaamn, go off Jo and therefore Button~
Katie Williams
2021-02-08 13:00:38 +0000 UTCYou have such a talent for insults LOL
Megs
2021-02-08 13:00:07 +0000 UTCAh. The spotlight for Clarebear ✨The sweet enemies to lovers route or is he the Cupid?
Riveringrio
2021-02-08 12:59:50 +0000 UTC
