Knightwoman (feedback requested)
Added 2020-01-28 12:32:39 +0000 UTCI've got numerous prose pieces in various stages, including a novel or two. I'm also working on an interconnected series of short-stories set in the "Hyper-Verse". This is the world of Hyper-Man, Knight Man, Justice Woman, the Dash & others.
I'm attaching the "Lady Godiva" chapter. Let me know what you think. Comments? Suggestions? Problems?
Comments
I agree. When I combine it all, a previous chapter will cover all that. However, I opted to leave it here so that readers would know who Lady Godiva was & how she got that way.
2020-01-28 18:12:50 +0000 UTCThat said, I do have some suggestions. For a short story or a panel comic, a lot recap or backstory is welcome. For serial/chapters, it stands to become repetitive and choppy for the narrative. You have a wonderful way of setting up scenes, if you spent more time in these longer pieces dealing with the present it might help keep the plot moving and individual scenes to breath. For example, instead of reiterating how Knightwoman became Knightwoman, have it open on to her patrolling the city and how her process had become familiarly routine. Her origin could be better covered in Chapter 1 or, even better, an accompanying comic cover (as if each chapter is a single issue of a comic.)
Robert Louis Stoll
2020-01-28 16:26:33 +0000 UTCI love your style. Reminiscent of comics back in the day who knew how to be pulpy; embrace the familiarity of tropes without feeling stale or cynical.
Robert Louis Stoll
2020-01-28 16:20:30 +0000 UTC
