Pimp My Ride

It was an unbelievable confluence of events that led Professor Jason Abernathy to believe his research was destined to succeed. Besieged by twin dilemmas, he unexpectedly found they were the answer to each other. Professor Abernathy’s two passions were science and the horses. Unfortunately, he was only good at one. His debts to bookie T-Bazz Jackson had reached truly astronomical proportions.   At the same time, University President Catherine Ride had finally had enough of Abernathy’s disruptive research. His breakthroughs on lab animals had no effect on her administrative heart. She was pulling the plug on his mind-exchange experiments. Disheartened and dispirited, he had arranged one final, desperate demonstration for Dean Ride in his lab, hoping against hope to persuade her. Unexpectedly, shortly before she arrived, Jackson appeared. However, he wasn’t there just to roust Abernathy for his gambling debts. Jackson had much greater worries. He was in trouble with his boss. Jackson owed him ten times Abernathy’s debt. However, aware of Abernathy’s university ties, he thought Abernathy could arrange for him to “acquire” his needed funds from the university. In exchange, Jackson would wipe his slate clean. Before he could even formulate an answer, Dean Ride arrived for her meeting. He hustled Jackson into another room and began his final appeal.   Even his successful exchange of the minds of two test animals had no effect. Her mind was made up. She rose to leave. Desperate, seeing his entire scientific career evaporating, Abernathy acted rashly. Grabbing a nearby syringe, he injected Dean Ride with a sedative which quickly rendered her unconscious. In a frenzy, he tried to figure his next step before she recovered.   Even as his mind spun numerous possible scenarios, Jackson entered the room, still intent on his money. He was increasingly desperate. His time was rapidly running out. If he didn’t come up with the money by midnight, he would be dead. When Abernathy refused, he gestured to the equipment in the room, suggesting stealing and fencing it. Stunned, Abernathy began to tell him that this equipment is priceless. With it he could-- then he stopped. He had conceived of an unbelievable course of action. One that would solve all his problems.  Acting quickly, he exchanged the minds of street hustler T-Bazz Jackson and Vassar-educated University President Catherine Ride. Even as Jackson tried to adjust to his new feminine form, Abernathy was dragging Jackson’s body, now containing Ride’s mind, out to Jackson’s car. He drove Jackson’s car to a side-street in the downtown area, then hailed a cab back to the university. Even as he reentered the science hall, Catherine Ride was awakening to an unbelievable reality. As she realized she was now a man, a black man, she stumbled from her car to be confronted by two armed thugs. Before she even had time to protest, they slammed 18 shots into her new body. She was dead  before that body hit the ground.   Even as the morning papers carried a small item about the murder of a local bookie, Abernathy was enjoying a leisurely, if somewhat strange breakfast with Catherine Ride at the best restaurant in town. However, many observers commented on the lack of manners displayed by the university president, as well as her rather disturbing tendency to feel herself up.   Abernathy realized he had a lot of work yet to do.