RELATIONSHIP REDOX #7: "Life is the dancer and we are the dance."

So they died, they left your, you left them.........bottom line is that you are alone.  What is your game plan now?  

We all have limits. Almost no one reaches theirs. You definitely haven't but I am ready to teach you how to go deeper than you ever thought you could. Bravery means finding something more important than fear.  I'll be waiting for you inside the bottom of my deep blue sea.  We do things differently there.  It's OK to reinvent the wheel, but only after you know how the current wheel works. Never assume you know better when you don't really know anything about the process of recovery..........Courage without meaning is just recklessness. Brave people aren't fearless; they've simply found something that matters more to them than the fear they're facing.

Say you're scared to start your life over from scratch when you're 55.  Your friends and family think you are having an existential crisis. You know you haven't, you just got sick of settling for less than you deserve.  You decided to use chaos and discomfort to fill your gas tank to get to places you never could get to ever before.  Eventually, you find a reason that has greater meaning than the fear: your future, your new partner, your desire to make a difference, or your dream of a more fulfilling life.

When you find greater meaning in your life, you'll find the courage to overcome your fear.  Today's pain is tomorrow's power. The more you suffer today, the stronger you are tomorrow.

SO YOUR SOLO AGAIN.......... 

Success is all about taking your shot, over and over again until you win.

You'll never create the perfect business plan, never find the perfect partners, the perfect market, the perfect location, but you can find the perfect time to start.

That time is now

Stop waiting for the 'right time.' Success is a numbers game: the number of times you take a shot.

If your sick of being single do something about it right now. 

When you meet the right someone, they will undress you.  I'm not talking about getting naked to get laid.  Nothing makes you feel more naked than someone identifying a desire in yourself, you never knew you possessed.  This spark will lit that pilot light.  It might illuminate a passion in you, you never saw in yourself.  You have to allow people to move in those spaces in you if you want to move forward with your best life.

MY LATEST LESSON:   LEARNING THE TANGO

Never invest in any kind of relationship with anyone who is not willing to work on themselves just a little every day. You have to chose better today than you did before.  A person who takes no interest in any form of self-improvement, personal development or spiritual growth will also not be inclined to make much of an effort building a truly meaningful connection with you. A relationship with only one partner willing to do the work ceases to be a relationship.  This is called bondage or a prison.  Never allow anyone to put you in a cage and slip handcuffs on you and tell you that they'll love your forever.  That is insanity.   And as anyone who has been there will tell you - it's pointless to try and dance the tango solo. 

'Life is the dancer and we are the dance.

When you realize you could actually choose the type of dance in life, and actually take the lead, your life begins to dance it naturally. Ask yourself now, 'What type of dance have you been asking the Universe to dance with you?  Might this be why you are failing?'

I have slowly realized after 55 years that my choices are what  determine what dance will the Universe chose to play for me.  Did I go with that flow or break the harmony?  It turns out, the music life is playing in the now...happiness, fear, rage, passion etc. Embracing and dancing to it as music... you stop the struggle and learn to move with the flow of life.

Just because you failed again in building a relationship have the courage to persist.  "Courage is forward movement while embracing fear. Thinking for yourself is courage. What's rare is the courage to follow it to the dark places where it leads. One person with courage is the only majority you need to succeed in life."

Take enough shots, and over time you'll grow more skilled, more experienced, and more connected. You will become entangled.  And that will mean a greater percentage of your efforts will succeed. Take enough shots, learn from what didn't work, and in time, you'll have all the skills, experience, and connections you need in your relationships.  Relationships fail because we did not have the right tools, or enough tools in our love tool box to create success.

Ultimately, success is all about taking your shot, over and over again. Sometimes you may win, sometimes you will definitely lose, but the more things you try, the more chances you have of succeeding. Put the power of numbers on your side. Take as many shots as you can. There's no guarantee of success, but when you don't take a shot, there's a definite guarantee of failure.  

Being single is not a state of failure.  Solo is a unique place.  It is a place that requires embracing the suck in relationships and in life.  Do not recoil from tripping up and being solo again.  Accepting each reality of being single head-on almost always loosens the knot of despair, and frees up your energy to accept what you can’t change, and change what you can about your and your situation.

Single means you are brave enough to face the glorious unknown of the unaccompanied journey in your life with some zest.  You've become ready to try to do it better this time.  You take more shots, because now your blade is sharper.  This is why the last cut is the deepest.........just because your old does not mean this part of your life should be dead on arrival.

When you find your path, person, or passion in this life you must not be afraid to jump again. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools Mother Nature uses to show us the way to Optimal.

In 2019 what I learned in editing my own life is that when you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.  Then some intersting shit can happen...........