IS IT BETTER TO BURN OUT OR FADE AWAY?

How do you combat burnout?  I changed how I helped people.  I once believed that it was my job to help anyone who asked for help.  That is the credo of medicine, at least that is what I was taught to believe.   I found this set of beliefs was the fastest way to ruining myself.  While it’s tempting to take on everyone who wants to work with you, doing so in reality,  limits your long-term success, and leads to burnout of the person doing the helping.  This is counterproductive because who is a healer good for if they are not good enough fro themselves?    I say this from personal experience.  In my first several years in practice, I turned no one down who wanted me to work with them or on them.   This habit is learned in medicine in residency;  I took this habit with me when I opened my web business too.  That was a mistake.  I learned that in neurosurgery and my web business when I did this, it was leading to same problem.  Burnout and frustration was the result. I soon realized I had to rethink how I was going to do things in both worlds I chose to participate in. I realized I didn’t enjoy working with everyone I worked with as a patient, and I found that I did not like every member of my website either,  when it began.  I also realized, more likely than not, they didn’t all like working with me either.  LOL.  

This was when I decided to set some standards for myself around who I would take on as a patient and who I would continue to interact with on my web business.  I also decided on standards about who I wouldn’t deal with too!!  Both had to be adapted as time went on.  The first thing I did was cut my friend list on social media sites and I looked to see what the reaction was with my patients, family, and my website members.  Their reaction is what I was looking for to act.

I thought about my “ideal” patient, member, and friend. What was unique about their personality? What type of commitment did they display to me in life and online? Were they "coachable" and could I really help them? What type of attitude did they have about the relationship? How experienced were they with new learning?

Once I could clearly identify my ideal targets, I started qualifying potential connections based on the standards with which described that person.  I found out rather quickly when your're hard to reach, those who really value your ideas work even harder to get to you.  Those people easily qualified themselves because they wanted to be students to learn and they had skin in the game. In my opinion, my prospective members need to pass more than the wallet test to work with me. Just because they can afford a service,  doesn’t imply you two will be a great match.  

In fact, I learned those without a lot of means who sought me out the most are the targets I need to build out my network of change makers. I don’t do well with those who don’t commit, and follow the data or just refuse to alter their environment to meet nature's requirements. I’m not a cheerleader. Mitochondriac's need to have skin in the game.  I often see through others’ through their excuses.  Saying no to potential members and opportunities with them allowed me to stay available to ideal persons to work with who have the possibility of change.  

I found when I began to cull my herd, it became awesome to look at my schedule every AM, and actually looking forward to seeing and spending time with each person on it that day!!  I found the same thing was true with my internet business.  People who are invested fully are a pleasure to spend time with.  I found the benefits of being exclusive and I did not have to be arrogant in accomplishing that goal.  It became clear to me that I was of better service to some people and not to others.  I now stay humble about that. 

CITES

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/burnout-and-the-brain#.WOFK9VKZP_Q