Blog post

Ciao Patrons!

I apologize if I have been absent for a while, lately I have been very ill. 

Pain, weakness, all accentuated by the infernal heat that is in Italy, a record drought, humidity beyond all limits, I felt weak, constantly.

I told you the last time I had had some tests and I had to do the last medical visits and the doctors came to the head of the matter, the malaise, the pains, the tiredness, the headaches ... they diagnosed me with a disease that did not know, it is called fibromyalgia.

And that explains everything, and now that my state finally has a name, I can face it with the right advice. 

Knowing the problem was a relief for me because I couldn't understand why I had such a meltdown in the last few years, I who had a lot of passion, energy, inspiration ... I thought I was simply depressed, but the pains were real, the fatigue for which I felt guilty was a real consumption of energy by my body, my brain, migraines were not alone for the computer and the pain threshold, back pain, etc ... it wasn't just because I don't move enough.

However, in a way now I feel relieved and perhaps less stressed!

I got back to work and this month of July I want to make the following updates:

Another chapter of PBB-Legacy E-book, 

two tarot cards (of which a preview in this image), 

and the comic pages.

I want to make TWO cards this month because it was suggested to me to color by hand, doing manual activities relieves me of stress and captures my concentration.

Importantly, in Italy I told you that painkillers are not easily prescribed, we tend to discourage them, rather we recommend supplements, rest, a healthy diet. In America it is different, from what I know.

The same goes for antidepressants.

For fibromyalgia, if I were in America, I would have already started taking antidepressants, on prescription.

But in Italy the neurologist himself tends to avoid them and recommend me alternatives, first.

When I said that I am an artist, and that it is my job, the doctor told me that some antidepressants would burn my last energy, consumed the creativity and the inspiration that I have left, and that I struggle to use. They would have knocked me out.

My brain must be stimulated not sedated, and not even the sleeping pills he gave me, even if I suffer from insomnia, the sleeping pills are not rest he told me.

Rather, all doctors ( including the endocrinologist who also declared fibromyalgia syndrome) suggested yoga and manual activities such as coloring with markers or crayons, and maybe having sessions with a specialist, to talk, if I feel like it. 

I tell you all this because I felt really guilty towards you for being slow, because I feel weak and tired every day, for lack of rest or joint pain. And I felt guilty, realIy I can't forgive myself...but there is always a way to recover!

Like, if I give myself a monthly plan, without establishing the exact days of the update, to make what I want to do, maybe I can do more.

Now I want to color two Tarot pinups ( as always offered by Generic Phoenix, and decided with him ) calmly and alternate the hot sessions on the computer with moments in which I draw and those of traditional artworks. 

Also I think restoring the pages of a new chapter of PBB-Legacy is also nice for you this month as update!

And in August I want to do something sea-themed swimwear pinups!

I try hard to be positive and push me to react and improve.

Thank you all if you will be with me again in July.

V.