Roman - Part 9

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It was a funny feeling. I always thought people were being dramatic when they spoke about it, but now that it was happening, I could confirm that no words in the world could accurately described the fulfilment of it.

I felt full. My heart felt full. It was like some sort of constant high, and the only time it dwindled was in the dead of night when I'd sleep. And when I'd sleep I'd dream of him, and then my heart would fill again, and so I found myself in this never ending loop of happiness.

Alex didn't annoy me anymore. Even when he droned on about Fortnite or one of his other games, I didn't react like he was some sort of annoying worm. I sat and I listened, and I asked questions and laughed when he laughed.

My mom and dad didn't get on my nerves anymore. When my mom asked me to do something, I did it with a smile on my face, even if I was wearing my tighty-whities! And I hugged her, all the time. And what can I say about dad? He had a permanent smile on his face, just like mom did. They were happy because I was happy, and I was happy because they were happy because I was happy.

It was a whole load of bulging happiness, but that's enough of an Oscar speech. The most pressing matter that I now had, was sex.

Roman was an orb of sexuality, which was strange considering we hadn't actually had sex yet. I guess I was nervous. The closest we'd gotten had been weeks ago in his bedroom before his dad came home and interrupted what I'm sure would have been an explosive encounter.

I don't know why I was nervous, exactly. Roman had seen me naked, and he didn't seem remotely bothered by the fact that his thing was probably twice the size of my thing. I guess it was a fear of the unknown.

Would it hurt? Would he stick it in my butt or would I stick it in his? What if I couldn't get hard enough? What if he couldn't get hard enough? Did we need condoms? Lube? Would it be messy? Oh god, would it be messy? How on earth do gay guys have spontaneous sex?!

The questions plagued me. Not a day went by when a new one didn't crawl into my head, and yet Roman didn't pressure me in the slightest.

"You're worrying too much" he told me, as we sat on top of the hill that I'd taken him to the first day we met, "we don't have to rush anything, Davey".

I watched as he tongued the ice cream. Christ on a bike, even that was making me tingle.

"I know" I sighed, "but I don't want you to get fed up waiting for me".

It was true. I knew that Roman was far more experienced in that department than I was. My guess was that he was becoming increasingly impatient by my anxiousness. How long would it be before he had enough and went and found someone else who would have sex with him?

I'd blown the whole thing up in my head, and now it was much more terrifying than it had been on Roman's bed all those weeks ago.

"Listen here, tighty-whitie boy" he grinned, wrapping his large arm around my shoulders and dragging me toward him, "I'll wait until we're old and wrinkled" he said, "when you're wearing old people diapers".

He laughed and rubbed his ice-cream across my nose. His lips closed around it a moment later and I sniggered.

"It's just sex, Davey" he said wisely, looking out over the beautiful cityscape as the clouds turned stormy above them.

It was warm. The storm in the distance was a summer storm, seeing out the last of the balmy season. In the words of Jon Snow, winter was coming, and I was determined to gift Roman with something memorable.

"I could suck it" I said, surprising myself with my words.

Roman laughed and kissed my cheek.

"That's some pretty heavy dirty talk for an innocent boy like you" he grinned, sliding his hands up my wrists and grasping them.

"I am not innocent" I told him as he pulled my arms over my head and lay on top of me.

"Oh really" he said, "you're a little kinkster now, are you?"

I chuckled as he held me in place.

"Yeah, I am actually" I groaned, pushing my hips up as he straddled me.

"Is that so?"

Roman slid a string of saliva from between his lips. It rushed toward me and I turned my head before he sucked it back into his mouth and laughed.

"You're disgusting!" I sniggered as he got off me.

There was something incredibly arousing about the fact that Roman was exceptionally strong. Knowing that he was this powerful, muscular man who could quite literally do anything to me, made me feel fuzzy inside.

"When you're ready to do that type of thing" he said, referring to my sucking of his thing, "I want you to do it because you want to do it, not because you think I want you to do it, got it?"

I leaned my head against his firm chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat as I nodded. I don't know what I did to become so lucky, but I was thankful that I'd done it.

"Let's get you home before your mom blames me for turning her innocent little boy into a monster".

"I'm a monster, am I?" I smirked as we got to our feet.

Roman kissed me. Every fucking time he did it, my heart soared.

"My monster" he whispered against my lips, and I realised that one of my worries was in vain.

I'd never have a problem getting hard for Roman. Never.

"Dad?"

He was running around the kitchen like a headless chicken. Mom had taken Alex to her friend's place for the weekend, and the chaos that had ensued was hilarious.

Dad was very gifted at a lot of things. He could put a plug socket anywhere you wanted it. He could make tools from bits of scrap metal. He could even build excellent treehouses, high up in the treetops. But for the life of him, he couldn't cook a meal.

"Pizza!" He said, "pizza is the only answer".

"I agree" I nodded, as I watched him extinguish the fire in the pot with a towel, "can I ask you something?"

He looked around at me, smut on his face, and draped the scorched towel over his shoulder.

"Of course, kiddo" he said, and he never did manage to drop that word from his vocabulary, even now that I was an actual adult.

"It's embarrassing" I groaned, but I'd been practicing the speech upstairs for the last hour.

"Oh" he nodded, sitting down and kicking the other chair toward me, "one of those questions".

I blushed and smiled at the same time. He was incredibly easy to talk to, but asking my dad questions about sex was a level of difficulty that I had yet to experience.

Of course, I was well versed in the whole birds and bees thing. I remembered it painfully well, and still cringed at the awkwardness of my dad explaining how straight sex worked when I was thirteen years old.

"When a man and woman love each other very much" he had said, and even then I remember wondering "what about when a man and man love each other very much?"

That was the problem with being gay. I'd grown up surrounded by the things straight people do. Hell, I was probably more prepared to have sex with a woman than a man, and now I had to have the humiliating conversation with my dad at eighteen, and I knew deep down that it was extremely unlikely that he'd have the answers I needed.

"Well, shoot" he said, smiling.

I took a deep breath. I'd rehearsed this a hundred times, yet it still didn't sound right in my head.

"I want to have sex" I said with a shaky breath. I couldn't even look at him when I said it.

"Wow, wow, take me out to dinner first!" He guffawed, and I cringed even harder.

"Dad!" I groaned

"Sorry, sorry" he chuckled, "you're a man now, son. If that's what you want to do, then do it".

"I know, I know, it's just..." I swallowed a lump in my throat and stared at my knees, "I um... I don't really know how".

A silence fell for a moment. I knew he was wondering what on earth he could possibly advise as a straight man, but I wasn't sure who else to ask.

"Wanna know something?" He said, and I could tell he wasn't joking anymore. I nodded.

"Nobody does" he whispered, and I glanced up at him with a questioning look on my face

"I know, right!" He grinned, "everyone acts like they're a master of sex. That somehow they've unlocked the secret to mind blowing orgasms or that they know all the right spots, and all the right techniques" he leaned forward and squeezed my shoulder, "the truth is, son" he said, "none of us know what the hell we're doing".

I cocked a brow. My dad wasn't one to say something just to make me feel better. I knew he told me things truthfully, but it didn't make any sense. Surely not everybody was as terrible at sex as I was sure I would be.

"But... But".

"Yeah" he nodded "you'll probably have to do it in the butt".

A laugh escaped my lips and dad beamed at me.

"Listen, David" he said, taking my hand in his, "sex isn't some big, serious act that you have to do because you feel like you have to do it. Sex is wonderful, and sex is fulfilling and fun and exciting, and it feels amazing, but only when you do it with someone you love".

I guess I knew that already, but hearing it from my dad cemented it.

"If you've found the person you love, then do it" he nodded, "but do it when it feels right to do it, and don't worry about what you know and what you don't know. Enjoy the moment, and whatever will be, will be".

It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Dad always had a way of doing that. I smiled widely and nodded.

"One more thing" I said, confident enough now to confess my biggest worry. Dad nodded.

"Is it messy?"

He laughed heartily and stood up. "See this?" He said, pointing at the creamy mess in the pot that had just been in flames a moment before.

I gulped and nodded.

"Make sure you have lots of tissues and most importantly, make sure you laugh about it".

I grimaced as I watched the thick cream drool across the bottom of the pot, but dad slapped me on the back and chuckled.

"You're a worrier, son" he said, "you get that from your mom. Now call in that pizza will you, I'm starving!"

I smiled to myself as I left the room. Now I knew two things for sure. I was going to have sex with Roman and I'd never eat Carbonara again.