UPDATE: LEARNING SOME THINGS, PLANNING SOME THINGS, MOVING FORWARD!

Hey everyone,

Really hope you're all doing well!

So this is a bit of a random update but one that I personally think is very necessary.

The first thing I wanna say before I dive in to the bulk of it is that moving forward (at least for now) content uploads here on Patreon will be on Tuesdays, Thursdays & Sundays. While there may be the odd album listen or something that gets posted on a random day, this is how it's gonna be for the most part. This should really help with my filming planning and feeling less pressure to post something each day (I know that pressure is self-inflicted but it's still there).

I tried this a little this week and I've really liked it. I'm hoping that it won't effect the amount I post so there's no changes to my plans in that regard, I'll basically just post more on those specific days.

Okay so onto the main thing I wanna talk about.

Over the last... well tbh it's been a good few years of thinking about it but especially over the last few months, I've been doing a lot of talking and learning and reflecting etc etc etc about like why I am the way I am, why I struggle with certain things, why things affect me differently than they do a lot of the people around me. It's been an interesting and looooong road for sure trying to figure this all out but after a very long and tiring journey, I've basically confirmed that ya boi is autistic.

Looking back on my life it seems so incredibly obvious but when I was a kid there was still so much not understood about autism that it doesn't surprise me that I went under the radar. I cope very well for the most part but there are absolutely some things that I struggle with quite aggressively and coming to the realisation that I'm on the spectrum, has helped explain those struggles so well. It's incredibly relieving tbh and it's like puzzle pieces falling into place.

The reason I wanted to tell you guys this is because I think it's a pretty good explanation for why I struggle with filming and uploading sometimes and why I end up winding myself up into knots over it. Burnout is something anyone can experience of course but my burnouts have always hit so different and I couldn't figure out why until I learned that autistic burnout is a whoooole different thing and that's what I've been experiencing.

Learning this about myself doesn't change anything in terms of being committed to these channels or even how I approach reacting itself but it does put a lot of things into perspective for me, makes me realise where I need to make allowances for myself and not beat myself up when my brain doesn't wanna play ball. It makes me realise exactly why the changes I've made were so necessary. Basically it's just been a huge wakeup call in a lot of ways and I can't even tell you the relief and freedom I feel right now. It's forcing me to be kinder to myself and that's pretty cool.

Anyway, like I said, nothing more is changing (beyond the days of the week thing mentioned above) - at least for now - but I felt it was important to share this with you guys to, if nothing else, give you guys an extra explanation as to why I go through these rough patches and let you know that now that I know the root of the problem, I can better support myself through them.

Thankfully, I finally feel invigorated and excited about reacting again so we'll be getting some goooood content coming very soon. Tomorrow I'll have some Nana Tour, some requests and fingers crossed some KIOF Time for you guys.

Thanks for reading!

See you soon,

-Kaia