Pillow Humper

Trying to explore Edwin's character some more and what he'd be into... I think he's just a very repressed horny guy, probably somewhat of a gooner, acts like he's above it only to have to jerk off every day. I can't decide if he'd ever fantasize about portia, i feel like he has some shame and 'knows its wrong' so tries not to, but ultimately thinks about her a lot by accident and then feels awful. Struggles with being lonely so uses a pillow because he actually wants to be touched so badly even though people touching him feels repulsive. Want's to be wanted but feels disgusted with himself for wanting that. He has a long way to go.

I was also debating if he uses toys, because i do think they'd interest him, but I also think he's hella repressed and would be like 'i wouldn't EVER ew weird.... .... hm' I just don't think he's brave enough to do it. Once he's kinda 'given permission' i think he cares a lot less about everything. He would always be so defensive about his interests, extremely embarrassed, ashamed to say what he likes, I think it would come to a head when thinks start with Portia because she'd be like 'if you wont communicate what you like, then whats the point? I'm not doing anything until you start talking' and kinda gives him the run down on how this works aka communication and trust. He admits what hes into and shes like ok freaky lets do it :) (trying to decide what he's into outside of of fem dom) he's p kinky, but pretty much just likes whatever involves portia paying attention to him :P and to be held tight. Eventually hes p confident and has no filter like portia about these things and portia quickly finds out his drive exceeds her own and hes rearing to go 24/7, hes obsessed with her, he love her, he likes being loved by her, and wants some MORE. I think Portia has more 'yucks' than him, he's kinda ok with most things but def prefers not to be 'in charge'

Portia def brings up that his relationship to sex is so weird meanwhile his mom is a sex therapist, it comes from being bullied and not being socially coordinated so anything he likes he got made fun of for so now he's ashamed of most of his hobbies which are badass aka music, etc, including afraid of being open out of fear of rejection. I think Edwin suffers from SEVERE rejection sensitivity, and takes a while and work for him to overcome it, because he used to just avoid any situation it could happen because its so painful, meanwhile he adopts the true way around it which is 'we ball' and enjoys himself and life more while caring less.

What do y'all think?