Maybe She's Just That Good

Exploring dynamics, he'd be quite the two pump chump at the start since it had been 1. a VERY long time since he's been intimate with anyone, and 2. He is deeply in love with Birdie which results in mentally already being on the edge before even being touched (i love that dynamic hehe) I do think he prefers to make his partner feel good, gets satisfaction from making them finish, and likes being in control, but Birdie gotta take care of her tank so every so often she gets to 'take care of  him' and he gets very overwhelmed

I think Raff's previous experiences were with people he thought he was supposed to like, such as dating the popular girl as a teenager to cover up the fact that he was kinda a loser, which was a disservice to these other people as well since he was doing what was 'expected' aka marry well, be successful, etc. This led to dating his now ex-fiance who was happy to have arm candy but wanted someone that was would do what she wanted when she wanted, and wasn't afraid to dish out the 'punishment' aka humiliation, shaming, 'if you don't do what I want i'll break up with you', belittling, etc, so he eventually had 0 friends of his own, 0 decisions of his own, and just did as she wanted, never really thinking of what he wanted. She definitely strayed and blamed him for it, 'I only did this because YOU did xyz' overall was a very toxic person, but he was dating her because she was rich, hot, and smart as a whip. He may have tried to break it off in the past, but would always come back, forgive forget and move on, until finally he walked in on her with his 'friend' after he was quietly discharged from the military, he asked to be transferred as a guard, and left without saying anything, feeling like a complete failure. He swore off dating, romance, etc, and was convinced he was going to probably be alone and was ok with it, it was better than being hurt again.

Obviously that doesn't last long and soon enough Raff has to confront his notion of relationships and love, and realize he was in a really terrible relationship that wasn't his fault, but also he was kind of shallow for a bit and dated people for the wrong reason. He finally makes time for himself, and figures out what HE actually wants, what his preferences are, etc, and eventually comes to terms with the fact that he is in love with the party's cleric for the right reasons. Things work out, and now he's experiencing what it's like to be in a relationship full of love and trust, and not do things out of 'obligation'. For a bit he doesn't want to be touched at all since sex wasn't something he particularly enjoyed, it was something he had to do to please someone, but now he actually wants to be intimate, and eventually heals and works up to the point he can be. But the new problem was, he is VERY into his girlfriend, and feels safe, comfortable, and loved, no pressure, no demands, she listens, etc, and so the first time they make out he finishes in his pants. Then the first time allows her to touch him is similar, the first blowjob, it's all so newly mentally stimulating it's a struggle. Eventually the 'endurance' increases, and he isn't over excited as much (still is from time to time), but she holds him and kisses him and makes him feel at home, and he wants to marry her and probably admits that too soon into their relationship. He does struggle from body image, performance anxieties, intense jealousy, but they work on it. He in turn helps her a lot. Birdie has never had a partner SO into her before, it intimidates her a little bit... Maybe I'll do a breakdown later on. Anyway! That's the ramble for today