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Malphegor
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Naruto: IY Ch. 26

"The Daimyō of the Land of Fire collected ten million ryō in taxes just like that?!"

Today was the sixth day of the New Year. According to statistics, the box office in the Land of Fire had reached 200 million.

This proved that the 6 million citizens of the Land of Fire watched it not just twice, but even three or four times.

Hearing the reports from his subordinates, Hiruzen puffed on his pipe, feeling a bit lost in that moment.

Once upon a time, a lucrative industry was placed before him, but he didn't cherish it. Now that it was gone, he deeply regretted it.

If the Sage of the Sixth Paths gave him another chance... He would definitely say, "I'm willing!"

"Orochimaru didn't manage to make a deal? Well, with his cold personality, he's really not suited for negotiations."

"What about Jiraiya? Let him go talk things over with that student. Jiraiya was a great teacher, after all."

He put down his pipe. When he said "Jiraiya was a great teacher," his tone was full of meaning.

The intelligence unit's jonin looked a bit awkward, hesitating for a long time before finally speaking.

"Jiraiya-sama is currently in... labor reform. Here's a letter from him."

The intelligence jonin handed over the letter Jiraiya had sent.

Hiruzen opened it, and his brows furrowed so tightly it could kill a mosquito.

[Old man, when you read this letter, I suppose... hehe, a handsome guy like me, how could I not still be around? Yeah, I'm in jail. As for where exactly, won't tell you. It's pretty nice here. Lots of like-minded people. I suspect the Great Toad Sage prophesied this. Don't come looking for me. Don't miss me.]

What a wonderful student!

Even being in jail, he was so high-spirited?

"What about Tsunade?"

The jonin hesitated again. After thinking a bit, he finally said, "Lately, she has been suffering from Winter Depression. It's snowing outside, and she's been lying at home drinking every day, hasn't gone out."

"Leave me."

Hiruzen looked up at the sky, tears of frustration streaming down.

What exactly had he done to deserve such troublesome students, one worse than the next?

---

Inside Impel Down, every inmate received a present from Yahiko.

They all sat in front of a big screen watching a movie: the once wildly popular "Yoakitanic."

The prisoners were moved. After all, only Yoake could hold real power.

Kakuzu wasn't interested in romance. He was staring at Yoake's financial report given by Nagato, eyes wide in shock.

"How much?! That one movie made that much money?! Seven hundred million?! And the Yoake cruise boarding ticket, damn it! Just to board that boat, float on the little river next to the village for a day, take some pictures, and the boat fee alone is eight thousand ryō?!"

"That damn brat! He's a genius!!"

"Does he even care about me anymore?!"

Jiraiya looked at the teary-eyed female inmate beside him, who wore an expression of pure admiration.

He could already picture Yahiko walking the streets, surrounded by swarms of adoring beautiful women.

"Yahiko-sama is sooo handsome!!"

"Is this what he will look like when he grows up?!"

Hearing the girls fawn over Yahiko, he was so jealous his teeth clenched and eyes welled up.

He wanted to make movies too!

"I want out of this prison!" he shouted.

In his mind, if he ever really wanted to leave, he could have done so a long time ago.

Meanwhile, a guard went to the warden's office.

Sakumo was relaxing and reading a book when he glanced at the inmate list on his desk.

Jiraiya was on that list, something that had left him baffled when he first found out. But seeing how happy and content Jiraiya seemed, he didn't bother interfering.

And now Jiraiya wants out?

Inmate: Jiraiya
Crime:
Illegally sneaking into the village, severely disrupting order
Severity:
High
Sentence:
6 months

"He's still got over two months left before release?"

"Let's go, I'll talk to him."

Even if he was taking a break, he didn't forget his real job.

He arrived at the Impel Down screening room.

"Sakumo-senpai!"

No matter how many times Jiraiya saw Sakumo, he could never stay calm inside. This man had once been a towering figure of Konoha, how had things turned out like this?

"Jiraiya!"

"Yes!"

Almost by reflex, Jiraiya snapped to attention.

"You've got sixty-some days left on your sentence. If your behavior is good, you may get out a month early. Any questions?"

"Yahiko... he said he's going to find the prophecy..."

Jiraiya's voice grew weaker as he looked at the massive sword strapped to Sakumo's back.

Alright then!

Two more months? Fine, whatever!

From the side came Kakuzu's shout, "I want out too! I want to work for Yoake! Let me praise the sun too!"

Sakumo called for Kakuzu's file.

Inmate: Kakuzu
Crime:
Assassination attempt on the village's highest leader
Severity:
Very severe
Severity:
Life imprisonment
(Note: May be pardoned in exchange for service to the village.)

"Let's go. I'll take you to Yahiko."

He glanced again at Kakuzu, whose eyes were literally glowing.

Why are his eyes sparkling?

Jiraiya was shocked, "Why does he get to leave?!"

Just then, Kakuzu pulled out a homemade Yoake forehead protector from his pocket and strapped it on his forehead.

The cloud symbol on it was crooked and clearly drawn by hand.

Jiraiya was speechless.

---

Later, in an office...

"So, you've made up your mind?"

"Yes. I've thought it through. I'm ready. Let's do this!"

Inside the office, Sakumo overheard the conversation and blushed.

What are they even talking about, so suggestive...

The two looked at him strangely.

Why is your face red? What's with that expression?

"I, uh... I heard there are some bandits outside the village. I... I'll go check it out."

Seeing their innocent faces, Sakumo realized he had misunderstood and quickly made his exit.

"Kakuzu... are you really willing?"

"Money. As long as there's money, I'm willing to do anything."

Outside the door, Sakumo, who hadn't gone far, nearly tripped over himself.

"Excellent!"

Yahiko didn't let go. He shook Kakuzu's hand with great enthusiasm.

Back in the day, legends spoke of infamous groups causing storms across the land.

Now he had earned the trust of one such veteran, he could barely contain his excitement.

"Konoha wants to co-build a movie theater with our village. I'm putting you in charge of the business over there."

"You want it fast? You want it slow? I'll handle everything perfectly!"

"Speak normally!"

"Ahem... I mean, leave it to me."

---

The dusk in Yoake was dyed the color of orange by the setting sun.

On the streets, the calm from a few months ago was gone, and various shops were gradually renovated and opened.

In the third district, shop owners were shouting to attrack customers.

"Not every beef is Yoake beef! Come and take a look at the beef in our shop, taste it... try it..."

"Look at this toad! A tin toad just like the one from Mount Myōboku used by the Sage Fukasaku! Just twist the spring behind its back once, hey! It will jump!"

"Genuine Complete Collection of Yahiko's Fairy Tales! Kids who've read it all say it's great!"

With the village investing and villagers opening shops, businesses sprouted up like mushrooms after rain.

More and more merchants traveling to the Five Great Nations would now choose to rest here.

To make money off these merchants, even the village's backup ninja squad, led by Nobita, personally set up inns.

The streets of Yoake were becoming more and more lively, not as desolate as before, gradually full of life.

But compared to tourist spots in the Five Great Nations or the Land of Hot Water, its prosperity was still lacking.

There was still work to do.

"I heard Pain is in Yoake, I came here just for him. Although there's no sequel yet, this fairy tale collection is pretty good. I'll buy a copy for my kid."

"Why did Pain stop writing? Is it because he made enough money? Damn it, I really hope his girlfriend runs off with all his money, that might give him motivation to write again."

After work, Yahiko and Konan were strolling through the streets, observing the people.

Yahiko heard the discussions of a few merchants nearby, and cold sweat trickled down his back.

More terrifying than a girlfriend running away with his money... was Konan buying explosive tags.

Just yesterday, he personally saw an explosive tag floating out of her room.

As every ninja knows: when you find one explosive tag in a place, it means there are more hidden nearby.

Too scary!

"Are you that afraid I'll run off with your money?"

Konan noticed the sweat in Yahiko's palm, her eyes curved into crescent moons as she smiled.

"Huh? Uh-huh." Yahiko was stunned for a second, then nodded quickly like a pecking chick.

"Hey! It's Jin!"

"And Ria!"

At that moment, some fans nearby recognized the two.

Some had spiky hairstyles, others had long flowing hair, popular styles thanks to the lead characters' fame. The spiky ones were "Jin-cuts." The flowing styles were called "Ria-cuts" or "Hashirama-cuts."

"Hello there!" Yahiko greeted them warmly.

"Ahhh! It really is her! So cute, it's baby Ria!" a girl said excitedly.

She grabbed Konan's hand from Yahiko's and held it excitedly. Her fingers were long, smooth, soft. Her nails were clean and well-maintained.

What a shame she didn't wear nail polish.

"Ria, nail polish is trending in the Land of Fire lately. Look, my friends bought a bunch, want to try some together?"

Being this close to her idol, the fangirl was clearly thrilled and wanted to prolong the moment as much as possible.

"It's Ria."

"Want to give it a try... just for a little bit?"

She swayed Konan's hand back and forth. Watching the fangirl act all excited and clingy, Konan eventually softened.

"Yahiko? Is it okay if I go?" she asked for his opinion.

"Go ahead."

Yahiko happened to be heading to Impel Down anyway, so he waved indulgently.

"Mm." Konan nodded.

"What's nail polish?"

On the way, Konan was filled with curiosity.

She had lived a rough and wandering childhood, cosmetics had never been part of her world.

"What? You don't even know what makeup is? Then how is your skin so nice?!"

---

Yahiko had returned to Impel Down.

Last time, it was to have the cameras completed. This time, he was here to have Hiruko craft a communication device.

In the shinobi world at this time, communication still relied on letters, messenger birds, and messenger hawks.

He couldn't believe that things like refrigerators existed while they still used such backward methods of messaging.

In the deepest part of the prison, in Jiraiya's private little study.

He was writing.

The book was called "Stories of Konoha," documenting everything he had seen and experienced growing up there.

In the genre of autobiographical books, no one could surpass Pain, so he had no desire to show off.

He focused fully on writing, not even noticing that Yahiko had passed by.

Yahiko glanced at Jiraiya, kneeling and writing, and gave him an encouraging look: "Keep going, Sensei."

Then he entered the room next door and found Hiruko.

"Take note," he said. "I want you to create a communication device that can transmit signals, allowing two people to talk across a distance of a thousand, even ten thousand miles."

Hiruko, in the middle of an experiment, stopped and carefully listened to Yahiko's explanation.

This was a sponsor.

Not someone to offend.

As he listened, dark lines appeared on his forehead.

The last time, it was a camera, Yahiko had demanded it record images. That was understandable. Cameras already existed, so he could just modify existing tech. Even in the early stages of broadcast, he could at least transmit audio using wires.

But this? This was just dropping a whole sci-fi-level request on his head.

"We're missing materials. Can you go talk to the warden? He might be able to help you find some."

"I don't want you to cut corners, I just want the communication device."

"Yes!" Hiruko almost cried. What kind of request even is this?

---

Meanwhile, in Konoha.

"Kakuzu, are you really up for this? Want me to teach you a few tricks?"

This was Kantaro's dad.

He didn't like his own name and insisted on using "Kantaro's Dad" as his business alias. He was one of the sales reps promoting Yahiko's books.

Recently, Yahiko was trying to break into bookstores in the Land of Fire, so Kantaro's Dad had been working hard there.

There was only supposed to be one finance chief. Kantaro's Dad was sure he had the position in the bag, until this masked man named Kakuzu suddenly showed up.

Of course he wasn't okay with that.

Kakuzu glanced at him sideways. "You want teach me how to make money?"

It was like he had heard the world's funniest joke, and he let out a soft laugh.

"How could you not appreciate my kindness?"

Kantaro's Dad was a bit annoyed. If Kakuzu had just listened to his advice, Konoha would've charged them a lower price for the land.

Listening to Kantaro's Dad's plan, Kakuzu sneered, "Let me give you a proper lesson."

"Sigh!"

Kantaro's Dad sighed as he watched Kakuzu stride into the Hokage's office.

Hiruzen clasped his hands under his chin, his tone more serious than ever before. "You say you're Kakuzu from Yoake, and you want to open a movie theater with Konoha?"

"Yes."

Kakuzu stood before Hiruzen, the corners of his mouth slightly raised under his mask.

"I've heard your name before. Never expected a famous bounty hunter to actually join Yoake. What benefits did Yahiko offer you? I can offer the same."

Kakuzu remained silent. Among bounty hunters in the black market, he wasn't unknown, but not a superstar either.

"No need. Let's talk about the cooperation first," he waved his hand.

There were some hurtful truths he didn't want to say: Could Hiruzen, like Yahiko, build a shabby ship and still manage to fleece the nobles while they happily handed over their money?

"What kind of cooperation? Is Konoha taking a share, or just collecting taxes?"

"No," Kakuzu shook his head. "Konoha gives us money, and we'll open in Konoha."

"?"

Hiruzen cleaned out his ears.

Did I hear that right? We give you money, and you open here?

How bold of you, Yahiko!

You poached one of my prized ninja, and now you're extorting me? Do you really think I'm that easygoing?

His old face flushed red. "If you don't give me an explanation, you're not leaving."

A breeze swirled around Hiruzen, lifting the brim of his Hokage hat.

Anger was a merchant's worst enemy. Kakuzu calmly explained, "First, I have movies. You don't."

"Second, I have movies. You don't!"

"Third, I have—"

"That's enough!"

"Why have Konoha's residents been coming and going so much lately? Could it be dangerous outside?"

Hiruzen thought of his youngest son, Asuma, who'd recently been clamoring to see a movie. He'd gone with Biwako, and after returning, he insisted on taking Kurenai next time.

Damn it...

Are the movies really that good?

The shinobi world is so dangerous, yet everyone's running out just to watch them!

"We're not giving you money. And taxes, we're definitely collecting them."

"Fourth, I have movies. You don't."

"..."

Thanks to Kakuzu's persistent efforts, Hiruzen finally "relented."

But the higher the road, the tougher the challenge.

The Konoha elders gathered in the Hokage's office. The three of them stared at the "fainted" Hiruzen.

"What's wrong? Did someone from Yoake make you faint from anger? Outrageous. I don't think Yoake should even be allowed to exist anymore!"

"Calm down, Koharu. Why don't we first ask Kakuzu what happened?"

Danzō said nothing, coldly staring at Kakuzu.

Kakuzu remained silent.

He stared at the advisors playing good cop and bad cop, and at the ANBU ninjas in the shadows.

They had taken a big bite out of him.

Konoha demanded that Yoake pay a large annual land fee, and pay a tax.

Midway through the negotiation, Kakuzu's side requested a break.

Hiruzen agreed cheerfully, this was what negotiations were all about: give and take. From how things were going, it seemed Konoha was winning this round...

Yahiko, you're still too young.

But what Hiruzen never expected was...

---

At evening, Kakuzu was walking down the main street. "Hashirama was the strongest Hokage. And Hiruzen? He's worthy? Did he crown himself the strongest Hokage? Or have any of you actually seen Hashirama's power in his prime? Really, there are no true heroes these days, only pretenders making names for themselves."

"The only one who even comes close to Hashirama... is Yahiko, that guy. He's the second coming of Hashirama!"

He roared these words on the street, under the glaring, murderous gazes of the Konoha villagers.

Naturally, the result was: Kakuzu got stabbed.

Stabbed by a few genin and chunin who were loyal fans of Hiruzen.

According to onlookers, the scene was so brutal that it looked like drinking water would leak out of him like a sieve. When the wind blew, his whole body seemed ready to scatter.

In the Hokage's office, Hiruzen had just been basking in satisfaction over his apparent win against Yahiko, until he heard the news. His expression instantly changed.

He wanted to grab his rod and beat that damn Kakuzu to death.

But the key issue was, damn it! He wasn't even in the right this time!

Did Kakuzu say anything wrong?

No. He didn't.

Could he accuse that guy of lying or being mistaken?

Absolutely not!

He hurried to punish the genin and chunin who had committed the assault, and issued a public statement:

"I am still far from Hashirama-sama's level in terms of spiritual stature. You all flatter me too much."

Then he rushed to the hospital to visit Kakuzu, before other villages got wind of it and turned it into a joke.

"I'm not getting treated. Your hospital charges are ridiculous. Don't think you can scam me so easily."

"You, a guest, were harmed while visiting Konoha. As Hokage, I failed to treat you properly. I'll cover all medical expenses out of my own pocket."

"Your money? What does that make me? No treatment. Absolutely not. No movie theater either. This is just a big village bullying a small one. Kantaro's Dad, bring the cart, we're going home!"

After a lot of pushing and pulling, Kakuzu finally lay on the hospital bed in his tattered robes, refusing to let any medical-nin treat him. Asked why, he simply said, "It's a waste of money."

Hiruzen could barely deal with this kind of stubborn person. In the end, he privately paid some compensation as "nutritional expenses" to settle things with the ninja who attacked Kakuzu.

The final deal:

For every 25 ryō movie ticket sold, Konoha would receive 1 ryō.

But Konoha would also provide a piece of land for the theater.

Kakuzu was furious. Absolutely livid!

"Spread the word, Konoha tickets now sell for 27 ryō!"

The extra 2 ryō? Of course, it goes to him.

Kantaro's Dad came to visit Kakuzu in the hospital, holding a fruit basket and wearing a complicated expression. After a long pause, he could only choke out one word, "...Legendary."

A strategist throws himself into the game, secures the win in just a few moves, and uses himself as bait to pull others into the trap.

Where the heck did Yahiko find someone like this?

"You know," Kakuzu said from the hospital bed, not in bad shape at all since Hiruzen was covering all his meals and lodging, "you're not a bad guy."

He held out his hand to Kantaro's Dad.

"Be my partner."

"Yes!"

Sworn loyalty! He had officially pledged allegiance to Kakuzu!

Kakuzu was a rising star!


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