Performance Improvement Plan - Chapter 11

Happy New Year, everyone! With the holidays in the rearview, I'm very excited to get the smut engines spun back up! God willing, we should be getting back into a much quicker pace of releases this month!

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Beth sighed contentedly, each hand tracing lines across the back of one of her lovers.

Her body felt sluggish and drained, in the best possible way. The three of them had been at it for hours, and now she was lying in Joyce’s bed, the heavy set woman cuddled up with her head resting in the crook of Beth’s left arm, her thick, pleasantly soft leg draped across Beth’s body while she quietly snored. Teddy was curled up on her other side, the three of them huddled close to keep from falling off Joyce’s queen-sized mattress.

“Queen” should be the biggest, Beth sleepily thought as she rolled her head back to look out at the moon. The window was cracked just a hair, and the frigid January air provided a wonderful contrast to Teddy and Joyce’s body heat.

It’d been years since Beth had dated. Since leaving college, she’d been bouncing around from one underpaid office lackey position to the next, desperately trying to build up the resume to get hired at a bigger publishing firm. It had been stressful enough that the idea of cramming romance into her limited free time had been panic-inducing just to imagine. She’d seen a couple boys while still in school, mostly out of a vague sense of shame that she shouldn’t still be a virgin by the time she graduated. None of those relationships had gotten very far; she wasn’t quite so anxiety-ridden back then, but even so her partners found her to be a bit too neurotic to tolerate for long.

The lingering scars of rejection still stung a little, but Beth forced herself to push the pain out of mind. Look at her now! She had not one partner, but two, and they were so tightly wrapped around her finger that… that “partner” didn’t quite feel like the right term. It implied a certain amount of equality that she wasn’t sure was warranted.

Oh, right. Speaking of hierarchy, there was something else she’d planned to do tonight. Become more. Grow, grow, grow.

“Teddy?” she breathed softly, barely whispering. “Are you awake?” Teddy stirred, cuddling up more tightly against her, nuzzling her bare breast.

Despite her exhaustion, she felt a stirring in her loins as she smiled possessively down at him. Ted Murphy, the greatest villain in the story of her life, had been reduced to a touch-starved kitten.

“Ted-dy…” She whispered again, lightening the pressure of her finger on his back until it was nothing more than a tickle. He reflexively shivered, which shook him to consciousness.

“Mm? What is it, Beth?”

“Shhh. I don’t want to wake Joyce.” Really, the conversation could wait ‘til morning, when they wouldn’t have to blearily whisper… but she wanted to have it now, and her wants were the most important ones, right? “I just wanted to say… I really like the person you’ve become, Teddy.”

It was dark, but Beth could perfectly imagine the way he must be blushing at the compliment. “I uh… I really like you too, Beth.”

“Were you happy, before? Being… you know, such an ass?”

She could feel him cringe. “I…” he sighed. “I thought I was. I was proud of my career, and of my fitness, and…” he was cut off by Joyce mumbling something incomprehensible in her sleep. Both of them went still until they were certain that she wasn’t waking up.

 “Well, um. I guess… I guess I’d say, I didn’t really know what being happy really was until Joyce, and then, now, uh, you…”

Beth suppressed a small squeal of delight as she ruffled the shrinking man’s hair. He really did know how to put on the charm when he wanted to. 

But she needed to focus. She was building up to a point here.

“I think learning to… embrace weakness has been really good for you, Teddy.” As far as she knew, she wouldn’t do anything to him just by saying the mantra to him herself. But the more she said it, the more the phrase would hopefully stick in his subconscious. “And I think learning to embrace it even more can only lead to better things. Don’t you?”

“Um… I, I guess so…”

She dragged her fingernails gently across the back of his neck, smiling at the trail of goosebumps she was leaving. “I’ve been thinking about the situation with Laura, sweetie. She’s mad at all three of us now.”

“Yeah, I feel really bad.”

“Well, Teddy, you should.” Another full-body cringe. Beth’s tone wasn’t overly scolding, but she wasn’t sugarcoating anything either. “You didn’t treat her very well, and now it’s affecting Joyce and I’s friendship with her. So, really, you’ve done wrong by all three of us.” In truth, Beth thought Laura was being unfair. She was free to hate Ted all she wanted, but she didn’t see why that should mean anything about her and Laura’s relationship.

But, the more guilt she could pile onto her little boyfriend, the more pliant he’d be.

“I’m, I’m sorry, Beth. I really am.”

“I believe you, but Laura doesn’t. Which is why I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to think of what we can do to bring her around. And I think I have an idea.”

“Y-you do?”

“I do. But, it’s going to take a big sacrifice on your part, Teddy. Are you ready for that? Can you be brave for me, and embrace weakness?”

***

“You’re quitting?”

Ted flinched a little at the judgmental tone in his manager’s voice, and scooted forward to the edge of his seat so that his feet could sit flat on the floor.

He’d checked this morning, and he was down another two inches. Four foot eight. To be honest… to be honest he liked it. Loved it even, maybe. The smaller he got, the more he felt like he could lose himself in his girlfriends. Every bit of size he lost made Joyce seem just a little thicker, a little heavier, a little more enveloping. And Beth… now that their relationship had stabilized, there was something almost comforting to being held firm under her authority, and the smaller he got, the bigger she got, the more easily he could nestle himself into her shadow.

But neither of them were here right now. Embracing weakness felt good around them, but here, alone with his manager, he just felt judged.

“I’m, I’m not quitting, Craig. I’m just… stepping down. I want, someone else to lead my team…”

“I just don’t get it, Ted. Where is this coming from?” The confusion and incredulousness dropped out of Craig’s voice, replaced with concern as he lean forward and lowered his volume. “Is it… a medical issue? I mean, something to do with your… your height loss?”

“Huh? Oh, no, no, um, that’s not… I-I’m fine, really.”

“Are you sure? We haven’t wanted to be rude, but… a lot of us are worried about you, Teddy Bear. You hardly talk to anyone anymore, and I mean… I’ve never even heard of someone um… trying to be delicate here… changing the way you have. It’s not really any of my business, but… as a friend, what have the doctors said about this, man?”

Ted’s head bowed a little deeper. He wasn’t sure how to explain that he hadn’t gone to any doctors. Early on, it really hadn’t seemed worth stressing out about, and… sure, it was beginning to get a little out of hand, but again, he’d started to enjoy it.

…Usually. When he wasn’t being asked to explain himself to somebody who wouldn’t get it.

“I promise, Craig, I-I’m really okay. I just, um… I guess, I’ve been adjusting my priorities, a little, you know?” That wasn’t fully untrue. “I’ve been plugging away in this position for years now, and… well, I. I’m not sure I really want the stress of it, anymore.”

He had discussed this with Beth extensively. This job was stressful, no question about it, but it wasn’t until talking to her that he realized just how stressful. Crushing, even. She’d pointed out that it might be nice to let someone else take a turn being responsible for the entire team, and… he never would have come to that conclusion himself, but the way she explained it to him, it just felt so obviously correct.

And besides. He had a wrong to right.

“I-I just think that…” Ted fidgeted with his hands in his lap. “It might be nice to, get back to the heart of the job, you know? Working on books, instead of juggling people. Staring at manuscripts, not spreadsheets.”

“I didn’t think you were all that into that aspect of things, Ted. I mean, you come from more of a business school background, don’t you?”

“S-sure, yeah, but… I don’t know, it’s just, that’s what feels right. And!... Y-y’know, I’m not trying to leave you in the lurch. I have a strong recommendation for who should take over. Laura Sheffield, she, she’ll do great.”

Craig sighed, studying Ted in consternation. “I’m having a real hard time making this make sense, Ted. You realize you can’t take your current salary down with you, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re… you’re completely dropping off of the promotion track. You get that?”

“Y-yeah. I just… It’s, it’s for the best, I think.”

Embrace weakness, Beth’s voice echoed in his mind. Something about the phrase had resonated deeply within him when she’d said it. As though she were drawing out the memory of a distant dream. The words sparked fear in his mind, but also… comfort. Joy, even. 

Craig was asking him to continue embracing strength, to continue structuring his life around stress and responsibility, to welcome more and more burdens to weigh him down. The thought of it put a knot in his gut, made it clear that no, the path to being truly happy was to embrace weakness.

But that inner clarity didn’t make the confused, disapproving expression on his boss’ face any easier to look into.

“We’ve done each other a lot of favors over the years, Craig. I’m… I’m asking you to do me one now. Reassign me as an editor, and put Laura in charge of our pod.”

Craig furrowed his brow, cupping his mouth with one hand while he tapped a pen against his desk with the other.

***

“Here you go!” Beth chirped, gently pushing Ted through the door to Laura’s office. He instinctively tried to dig his heels in, fearful of his new boss, and nearly fell flat on his face when Beth just kept pushing. “As promised, one new personal assistant, signed, sealed, and delivered!”

Ted’s eyes shot up to Beth’s. “Wait, w-what? Personal assistant? But, I… I’m an editor, now.”

“Oh, sure Teddy, on paper. But we’ve got a lot of administrative tasks to do around here, and as the most junior member of the team…”

“I have six years of experience!”

“Teddy. Sweetie.” Beth stooped down a little, letting her arms fall across his chest while Laura just sat silently, studying the both of them. “You gave that up. They had you sign a new employment contract, didn’t they? That means as far as the company’s concerned, you’re a new hire.”

Ted stammered, trying to articulate a response, but Beth just ignored him, turning her attention back to Laura. “Anyway, Ms. Sheffield, I told you I’d get this done for you, didn’t I? So, were you gonna stay in here, or move to Teddy’s old office? I figured I’ll take whichever one you’re not using.”

Laura just stared, a muscle twitching in her jaw.

“You know what, fair enough, we can square that away later. How ‘bout I leave you to it for now? I’ll see you later Teddy!”

And just like that, Beth was gone, leaving Ted small and stranded, alone with the person who probably hated him most in the world.

Embrace weakness. The words cycled through his head, over and over. They felt right, good, true. If embracing weakness was the key to being happy… well, what could epitomize that more than this current situation? He just… needed to find the comfort and joy in it, the same way he found it around Joyce and Beth.

“Come here, Ted.” Nervously, Ted approached her. She set a hand on one of her monitors and swiveled it toward him.

“You see what this says?”

She had her email pulled up.

“It says, um. It says that you’re the interim manager.”

“Mm-hm. So what does that make me?”

“Uh. The… the interim manager?” Ted’s heart rate spiked as Laura glowered at him.

“It makes me your boss, stupid.”

“Oh. R-right.”

Laura clicked her tongue. “Let me explain what’s going to happen, Ted. I don’t have the ability to discipline you until my promotion is official. The day I formally become manager, you’re fired.”

He started to hyperventilate. “No, please! Laura, I—”

“Laura?!” Her voice rumbled with the wrath of God, hellfire smashing through her icy facade.

“Uh! Uh n-um, Ms. Sheffield! Please! Please don’t fire me, I can’t, I’m—there has to be something I can do! Please!”

“I don’t think there is, Ted. I cannot imagine something you could do that would make me want to have to keep looking at your pathetic face for one minute longer than I have to.

“But. I suppose you have until the promotion goes through to prove otherwise, don’t you?”

“Oh, oh! Yes, I… yes! I promise, I’ll show you that… What can I do?”

Laura—Ms. Sheffield—slapped a sticky note down on the desk in front of him. “You can start by going down to the research library and checking out these books, we need them for a fact-checking pass. When that’s done… it’s not my job to figure out how you can save yours. Show me some initiative, come up with something to impress me.”

“O-okay! Of course! I’ll get right on that.”

“‘Ms. Sheffield.’”

“Uh. Right, right! I’ll get right on that, Ms. Sheffield!” Ted practically sprinted out of the office, desperate to escape her death glare. He struggled to control his breathing as he fought back the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He would have to be stronger than this if he was going to endure working for her.

No… no, that wasn’t. He didn’t need to be stronger. He just… he just needed to get better at embracing weakness.

“Embrace weakness, embrace weakness, embrace weakness,” he muttered as he made for the door, each repetition slowly bringing his breathing into regulation.

Suddenly, he tripped, landing on the floor with a soft thud. Embarrassed, he tried to ignore the soft tittering of Joyce and Beth as he looked back to see what had happened.

He’d stepped right out of his child-size dress shoe, the laces knotted just as tightly as they’d been when he’d tied them this morning.

***

“Pink hair would look awfully cute on you,” Beth remarked as she ran her fingers through Joyce’s golden locks. Joyce just blushed and giggled; Beth had yet to get tired from how easy it was to turn her into a puddle. Joyce had so much casual confidence usually, but Beth had learned every button to push in order to completely unravel her on command.

“Would you two mind?” Francesca snapped from her cubicle. “I’m trying to work.”

“What’s with you?” Beth asked. She was sitting on Joyce’s desk, and casually leaned over the wall separating Joyce’s workspace to look down at Francesca.

“Nothing. I’m just busy.” Beth knew Francesca well enough at this point to know that it definitely wasn’t “nothing.” But she also knew that trying to force the issue would only make her clam up more, so she just shrugged.

“If you’re trying to wrap things up and get out of here for the weekend, you could just hand whatever you’re working on off to Teddy. I’m sure he’d love to help you. Wouldn’t you, Teddy?”

Teddy was stationed on the opposite end of the office, in one of the cubicles that had long sat vacant, an artifact of when the team had a much bigger staff. Bankers boxes of old documents were stacked high all around him, spilling out onto several of the other unused desks; he’d lost so much strength now that he couldn’t retrieve them from the records room without Beth and Joyce’s help. Poor thing was so buried in his work that he didn’t even seem to have heard her. Beth had to admit that she felt some sympathy for him… outweighed entirely by a vicious sense of schadenfreude. Memories of when he’d put her in a similar position were still fresh enough in her mind that she couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of justice as she watched him sort through folder after folder of documents.

“It’s not fair,” Joyce whined, resting her face against Beth’s side. “Laura barely ever lets him leave. He’s working straight through the weekend, again. When do we get a turn with him?”

Beth rolled her eyes, smiling. “Let Laura have her fun. She’s deserved this for a long time. There’s only so many files she can make him reorganize, we’ll get him back before too long. Besides.” Beth gently slipped a hand under Joyce’s chin and tilted her head back, staring down into her hazel eyes. “I’m not sure you can handle much more than what you’re already getting with me.”

Francesca suddenly slammed her laptop shut and shot up to her feet. Beth and Joyce exchanged an awkward glance as their friend started storming toward the exit.

“Hey, hey, Francesca, wait!” Beth called out. “Y’know… since Ted’s busy anyway, why don’t we all go out together? We haven’t had a girl’s night since the new year.”

“No thanks,” Francesca muttered, not even breaking her stride.

“What’s her problem?”

***

January 24th, 2025 - Dr. Joanna Becker

This is the annotated transcript of the first session with patient Francesca Rossi, file number 00-006. Intake forms and long-term patient history… Oh, screw it. Why am I even pretending anymore like this is a legitimate psychiatric practice.

Ms. Rossi called me repeatedly until I finally picked up, and demanded to meet me in my office. She wouldn’t accept that it was past my office hours. She wouldn’t tell me any details until we met in person, but I could guess well enough.

DR. BECKER: Well, we’re here. What can I do for you, Francesca?

MS. ROSSI: Gimme whatever you’re giving Beth.