Performance Improvement Plan - Chapter 8

December 7th, 2024 - Dr. Joanna Becker

This is the annotated transcript of the first session with patient Bethany Granger, file number 00-005. Intake forms and long-term patient history can be found in the file. 

The beginning of Ms. Granger’s first appointment has not been captured due to a technical malfunction. I’ve asked Beth to repeat a few aspects of why she’s here to make sure they are on record.

DR. BECKER: So, Beth, you’re interested in hypnotherapy for your anxiety, is that right?

MS. GRANGER: Um. Yes.

DR. BECKER: And, per our previous conversation, you’re also interested in seeing what hypnotherapy can do for you physiologically, correct?

MS. GRANGER: Uh, uh… Yeah, yes, um. Yes, Doctor.

[I’ve given up on using anything from Ted Murphy for a paper—far too ethically murky, and that’s putting it mildly. But Beth’s a willing participant who understands exactly what she’s signing up for, no question of informed, enthusiastic consent. Familiarity with Ted’s case is what led her to me, so I will need to be careful to abridge anything particularly damning, and dismiss other references to Ted as a patient who was not as well-suited for a case study.

Sections encased by ### on either side should be deleted from all copies of this transcript except for the original.]

DR. BECKER: Can you tell me a little bit more about what, specifically, you would like to get out of this treatment?

MS. GRANGER: Well, I… I’m just. I’m very bad, in, um, social situations, I guess. I get flustered, and nervous, and… I mean, I, I, I stammer, a lot, I’m sure you’ve, um. You’ve already noticed, and… just, I feel so worried, and anxious, whenever I’m around people. Even, even friends, sometimes, make me feel nervous. Like, like I’m going to say something stupid every time I open my mouth and… and I don’t know, use up their patience with me. I just… I don’t want to feel that way. I want to feel… confident. And… Well, um. I mentioned that I have a performance review coming up at work, and… I um. I’ve had some really bad experiences with my boss, which, which! I know that, he’s a patient of yours, so we can’t really talk about—

DR. BECKER: You are free to discuss your relationship with Ted Murphy, Beth. This is your therapy session, and you don’t have any restrictions on what you can talk about. I just have restrictions on what I can talk about.

MS. GRANGER: Oh. Um. Okay. Well, but, so, yeah, I have a pretty um… difficult relationship with him, and everyone keeps telling me that, that, that he’s gotten a lot nicer in the past couple months, and, you know. It seems like he has. But I can’t shake the feeling that it’s… I don’t know. It sounds stupid. But I can’t shake the feeling that it’s a trick, that he just wants me to lower my guard so he can berate me again. Or something. I’m dreading our meeting so bad that I start to get a stomach ache as soon as I walk into our office building, and it’s not for another 2 weeks yet!

DR. BECKER: So you’d like me to help set your mind at ease, so that you don’t feel so nervous about it.

MS. GRANGER: Yeah. Well, and… Ever since um. Not trying to talk about his uh, “treatment.” But ever since it started, I’ve noticed that I get this… this impulse around him, to yell at him, to get really angry and scream at him. It’s like, all my hurt feelings from the past year hit me all at once and it’s everything I can do to not just, say the worst things I can think of. And… he’s my boss! I can’t do that! I feel like I’m already on thin ice from the few times I have.

This is an interesting interaction between Ted’s hypnotherapy treatment and Beth’s own anxiety disorder, one that warrants further study.

DR. BECKER: Hm. I don’t know for certain, but I have a theory about why that may be happening.

MS. GRANGER: You do?

DR. BECKER: My guess is that the reason you’re lashing out at Ted is the same reason that Ted lashed out at you originally. Insecurity.

[Murky line here, but I think this line maintains proper compartmentalization; I’m speaking about Ted as a figure in Beth’s life, not as one of my patients. I would offer similar advice regardless of my relationship with him.]

MS. GRANGER: Wait… what? “Insecurity?” Ted wasn’t insecure before.

DR. BECKER: ### He absolutely was. ### You see Beth, low self-esteem can manifest in a number of different ways. Sometimes it makes people meek and nervous, eager to please and terrified of criticism.

MS. GRANGER: Right. That’s… that’s kind of me to a T.

DR. BECKER: But sometimes, when someone fears criticism, when they have a poor self-image, they become aggressive and defensive. Their self-image is frail and delicate, so they guard it like a pitbull, snapping and snarling at anything that appears to them as even a minor threat. It’s “fight or flight.” You usually choose flight, Ted generally chose fight. ### Part of what I have done—and please, understand that you cannot repeat this—part of what I have done is remove Ted’s capacity to choose “fight,” and to expose the insecure person he’s had inside of him all this time. ###

MS. GRANGER: Huh.

DR. BECKER: And now, he is so nakedly vulnerable, so obviously weak, that your own fight-or-flight instincts are landing on “fight.” Despite your insecurity, you have an unconscious sense of superiority over him. I assume your other coworkers haven’t had this kind of reaction?

MS. GRANGER: No… Well, Laura, a little bit, but I think that has more to do with her history with him than anything.

DR. BECKER: Certainly, that makes sense. A lot of factors can contribute to how we behave, after all. But, my point is, I think that if we can improve your confidence and self-esteem, this issue will go away on its own. Confident people don’t feel the need to prove anything to others, don’t feel the need to get defensive against critics. Does that make sense?

MS. GRANGER: Actually… yeah. Yeah, it does!

DR. BECKER: So, I think we can definitely help bolster your self-esteem through hypnosis. Why don’t you tell me a little bit more about the physical changes that you’d like to see?

MS. GRANGER: I just… um. I don’t know, nevermind. Maybe it’s just, you know, insecurity, like you were saying.

DR. BECKER: Beth. I’m your doctor. I’m here to help you. But I have to understand what you want before I can.

MS. GRANGER: Okay… I don’t know. I guess, I just… if I was taller, less um. Less petite. Maybe people like Ted, or, like how Ted used to be, maybe they wouldn’t feel as comfortable targeting me? Or maybe I’d just feel more confident if I wasn’t the size of a kid… but, again, that’s silly, you can just make me confident, right? So, like I said, nevermind.

DR. BECKER: I could do that. But hypnosis is a very tricky animal. Turning someone completely against their nature is difficult. ### If Ted had been an actually confident person, and not an insecure person masquerading as one, it would have taken much more time to affect him in the ways that I have. ### It works better if we lean into your unique personality, so if your height is a source of insecurity, and if you would prefer to be taller, then I think we should see about making you taller! Especially if you want faster results, to be ready for your performance review this month.

[None of this is exactly UNtrue, but critically, I also need presentable data on altering a patient’s body. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be putting my thumb on the scale like this, and defer to Beth on how she’d like her treatment to go.]

MS. GRANGER: Um. Okay. If, if that’s what you think would be best…

DR. BECKER: Let me walk you through what’s about to happen, Beth. In a few moments, I’m going to turn on a sound file on my computer. When it harmonizes with my voice, it will penetrate your conscious mind, putting you into… well, we could call it a “trance.” In that state, you will be very susceptible to my directions, and when you come out of that state, you won't remember any of it. I’ll have a transcript ready to show you to prove that I have done exactly as you’ve requested. You might feel a little disoriented for the rest of the day, but that will wear off, and the side effects of the treatments lessen with repeated sessions. How quickly your mind absorbs the hypnotic instructions will largely depend on you, but you should see at least some preliminary results right away.

MS. GRANGER: Okay. Um. Yeah, that sounds good.

DR. BECKER: Good. I’m going to turn the audio on in 3, 2, 1… Hello, Beth. Can you hear me?

Ms. Granger’s body language immediately relaxed, and we began our session.

[I am somewhat concerned that heightening Ms. Granger’s confidence hypnotically may clash in odd ways with the subservience I’ve ingrained into Ted Murphy. It may create an amplifying effect between the two of them, and I’m uncertain of how, exactly, that’s going to pan out. Will need to observe it closely.]

***

Ted fiddled nervously with his pen.

It was late afternoon on December 23rd, the only day this week he’d be in the office before the holidays. The building was already largely empty, save for some cleaners and a few junior editors who’d be crunching straight through the week. 

Junior editors like Beth, who was currently 30 minutes late to her performance review.

Beth had been insistent that she work through the holidays this year, as an apology for calling out on short notice the year prior. No matter how many times Ted tried to assure her that it wasn’t necessary for her to do that, she remained steadfast.

He felt terrible about the way he’d treated her throughout the first half of the year. At the time, it had made sense to him: she was young, talented but inexperienced, and needed a healthy dose of the real world. He’d done the same thing with Francesca before her, as well as the girl who had her job previously, who washed out in only a few short months. He could still remember a time when that approach felt right… but it was obviously wrong-headed to him now. Sure, she needed experience; why did that have to be such a nasty thing? He could’ve, should’ve, been gentler with her, and so he’d spent the past several months trying to balance the scales, picking up a lot of the work she’d normally be assigned.

But of course, that was putting a strain on his relationship with Joyce, who didn’t approve of the late hours it demanded of him. She’d even told him that Beth would prefer to be taking on her normal workload, but he just couldn’t bring himself to talk to her about it. He was ashamed to admit it, but ever since he’d started… well, shrinking, the women in his office intimidated him a little. Even Joyce. God, Joyce. Ted had always recognized her as a beauty, but to actually feel those soft curves envelop him, her sweet, sing-song voice muttering in his ear… He released a shuddering sigh as he sat alone in the office. She was waiting down in the parking garage, eager to take him home and… enjoy the holiday.

He was pretty eager too, so he couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t a little miffed that Beth was running late. In exchange for working through Christmas, she’d taken most of the last week off, and this Monday as well. She had more than enough time off saved up, but she’d promised she’d be here at 3:00 to knock out her review real quick. It wouldn’t take much time at all—he was going to give her perfect scores, obviously—so he really wished she’d hurry up and get here.

***

Beth sauntered through the front door of Maribou Publishing, her tall heels clacking with a satisfying echo through the mostly empty lobby as she strolled toward the elevator. A cleaner buffing the floor leered at her just long enough for her to catch him. She flashed him a smile, which only widened as he blushed and turned his attention back to his work.

God. Did she used to get looks like that? She wasn’t sure if she’d just been oblivious to them, or if the way she carried herself now invited them more.

The last two weeks had been… well. They’d been absolutely magical. She didn’t really have any expectations for what “confidence” or “self-esteem” might feel like, but it turned out that it mostly just felt relaxing. The perpetual knot in her gut was fully unwound, and everything that used to drive her to the edge of a panic attack now just… didn’t seem like it mattered very much. Francesca had been eager to hear about how the appointment with Jody had gone, and got her answer immediately: even after just the first session, Beth could look her friend in the eye, and speak without stammering.

It was incredible! She stood up straighter, spoke more loudly, and didn’t feel so hypervigilant about her speech and mannerisms, which, ironically, made them less awkward and more natural. Her first thought was that she felt like a whole new person, but that wasn’t quite right. The truth was that, for the very first time, she well and truly felt like herself.

And then, of course, there was the growth. Jody had cautioned her that it was a slow process, which made sense. It was impressive enough that Jody could do the impossible; asking her to do the impossible quickly would have been a bit unreasonable. Plus, that matched what Beth had observed in Ted. He’d gotten about a foot shorter, but that had taken six months. Jody had explained that Beth would begin growing right away, but the effects might not be very noticeable for a bit. She’d be lucky to gain an inch by the time of her performance review.

Which is why she’d been so excited to be two inches taller after only the first week.

As soon as she saw how much progress she’d made in just one week, she immediately arranged to take the following week off. She wanted to have the maximum impact when she finally confronted Ted for her performance review.

“Become more,” Beth mouthed as she rode the elevator up to her floor. “Grow, grow, grow.” It was the mantra that Jody had crafted during their first session together. Beth had no memories of her sessions, but Jody had let her listen back to a bit of the recording, showing her how they’d spent over thirty minutes repeating that mantra together, while Jody made Beth stare at a looping video of expanding shapes. Beth had taken to repeating the mantra to herself constantly, letting the words dance about her head in any spare moment. Become more. Grow, grow, grow. Jody had been confident that the mantra wouldn’t do anything while she wasn’t under active hypnosis, but Beth wasn’t so sure; something had to explain the fact that she was outpacing Jody’s expectations, right? After a week at home, she had already reached 5’5”. She was officially no longer the shortest person in the office, beating Ted’s reduced stature and even, she was pretty sure, edging out Joyce. In fact, in her heels, she might even have Laura beat.

Beth’s mouth split into a grin. It won’t be very long before even Francesca will have to look up at me. She breathed in, standing up just a little straighter as the elevator slowed its ascent.

“Become more. Grow, grow, grow.” Beth could swear that she felt herself stretch just a little taller as the words rolled off her tongue, suppressing a grin as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

The floor she worked on was just as empty as all the others, most people having already left to get a head-start on their holiday. Beth was a little disappointed that she wouldn’t get to show off the new her to her friends for another week… but then, that was another week of growth she could put in before the big reveal. 

And besides, there was someone who she’d get to show off for today.

Ted was in his office, and didn’t move to come out and greet her as she stepped into the team’s larger office area. He looked a little irritated, actually, moreso than she’d seen him in months.

Good. She’d kept him waiting on purpose, after all.

“Hi Ted,” she said, infusing as much sugar into her voice as she could. “I’m so sorry I’m late. Everyone’s out Christmas shopping, the trains are packed.”

Ted’s expression rapidly softened as she spoke, his eyes following her every motion as she settled into the chair in front of his desk.

“Oh, um, yeah! That’s, that’s okay. You’re here now, right?”

Beth giggled, willing herself to make it a little more girlish than was natural. Instantly, she began to feel something from Ted’s presence, and realized that Jody had been completely right. The impulse she’d been feeling, the one that had driven her to curse him out or humiliate him, it was the sense that he was completely, utterly beneath her, and her anxiety had made that emotion manifest as anger. She remembered being confused and embarrassed by feeling that way, but now? Now, she just accepted it. Of course he was beneath her. Just look at him. Look at her! It was the most natural thing in the world that she’d consider him a lesser to her.

Ted cleared his throat and started shuffling through papers. “So, um… your performance review. Why don’t we—”

“Actually,” Beth interjected. “Why don’t we make a quick adjustment first?” Beth rose out of her chair and slid it across the carpet, bringing it around behind Ted’s desk.

“Well? Scoot over, silly!” Ted had just been staring at her in silence, but at her command, he swallowed and slowly rolled his large office chair out of her way. From back here, Beth noted that Ted filled out that kind of chair about as well as she did—or, about as well as she used to. He was sitting forward, a few inches between himself and the chair back, and even so, only the balls of his feet reached the floor.

Two weeks ago, Beth wouldn’t have allowed herself to admit that it was actually kind of cute.

“There,” she said as she settled in right next to Ted. “Isn’t this better?” She leaned across the two sets of armrests, her arm brushing against his. Ted’s slightly taller chair eliminated the edge she had on him in height, but even looking him in the eye like this, he still felt smaller than her. 

“Uh. S-sure, Beth. Well, um…” Ted coughed nervously. “Your review. Uh… I mean. It’s fantastic, across the board. You’ve um, you’ve become a really excellent member of the team, you know your…” he trailed off, his attention drawn to Beth’s skin once again coming in contact with his. “Know your stuff… um. I really can’t say enough good things.”

“Oh, Ted! That’s very sweet of you. But, to be perfectly honest, I don’t know that I can agree.”

“...Huh?”

“Well, Ted, I just don’t really feel like I’ve been pulling my weight lately. You’ve lightened my workload so much, I don’t feel like I’m doing my fair share.”

“Oh, uh! Beth, that’s… I mean, you did so much at the start of the year…”

“Too much.”

“Right, yes! Too much! So, I just thought, we should balance it out…”

“Did you ask my permission first?”

“Wh-...what?”

“I said, Ted, did you ask permission from me before you took my work away?” Her face remained placid and warm, but she let just a hint of acerbity bleed into her voice.

“Um, I, uh, I didn’t…” Ted squirmed in his chair, and Beth couldn’t suppress a slightly evil grin.

“You said yourself: I know my stuff. I’m an excellent member of the team. Why, oh why, would you deny our writers the privilege of my work? Do you really think you can hold a candle to me?”

Ted was frozen, mouth agape as he struggled to find a response.

“I just don’t see how I’m supposed to grow in my role if you don’t give me the opportunity to prove myself.” Beth rose to her feet, looming over her seated boss.

She’d given a lot of thought toward what she’d do and say at this meeting. What surprised her however was that she wasn’t playing this up as much as she thought she’d need to. The words, the attitude, it was all coming to her naturally. It was as though Ted had become a vacuum of confidence and willpower. She didn’t have to exude her own influence over him so much as he naturally pulled it out of her, burying himself in it.

“Stand up.”

Ted obeyed, eyes going wide when he realized that in her heels, Beth stood close to a full head taller than him, his eyes level with her slender throat.

“You know, Ted…” Beth said, casually resting a hand on his shoulder, delighting in the way that his muscled tensed fearfully under her touch. “I’ve heard a rumor that you have a little crush on me. That you have a little crush on all of us. Is that true?”

Ted, bug-eyed, just opened and closed his mouth like a fish.

“Ted, answer me when I ask you a question.”

“Y-y-y-yes.”

“Aww, I knew it. Well, would you like to know a secret?” Beth hunched down, lightly gliding her fingernails against the nape of Ted’s neck as she leaned in close. “When we first met, I had a little bit of a crush on you, too.”

She giggled again, half-convinced that she could actually feel the heat from Ted’s face. She pulled away, affecting a pout. “That’s part of why it hurt so bad when you were so mean to me for all those months!”

Ted struggled to form words with his quivering lips. “I’m. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I was trying to… I wanted to make it up…”

“You don’t make it up to me by taking my work away. I happen to like my work. If you want to make it up to me, why don’t we try… this?” Gripping the back of his neck tighter, Beth began to pull him in for a kiss.

“Wait, uh! Beth, no, I can’t, we can’t do this!”

Beth just giggled. “Of course we can. I want to do it, and it’s not like you can stop me, right?” Sure enough, as she pulled him closer, she actually felt him try—and fail—to resist her, his weak, shrunken body yielding to even her slim, feminine arm.

As soon as their lips touched, the resistance melted right out of him. Beth smiled through their kiss as she gently explored his lips with her own. He started to reach an arm out to embrace her, but Beth clamped a hand down on his wrist, pulling his arm high over his head, partially breaking the kiss to let out a little laugh at the adorable whimper that came out of him in response.

“I was too embarrassed to admit it before,” Beth whispered, lips still brushing against Ted’s as she spoke. “But I agree with Joyce. Being smaller like this really does suit you. You were handsome before, but now… now you’re something special. Something that I just want to…” She leaned forward and kissed the side of his neck, eliciting another whimper. “Something that I just want to take. Joyce feels the same way, you know. Too bad for her that she never acted on it.”

“B-B-B-Beth…”

“Oh well. Her loss, my gain. I’ve got you now, and I’m not. Letting. Go. Unless… you have some kind of objection?” Beth unbuttoned the top few buttons of Ted’s shirt in order to kiss more of his neck as he helplessly stammered, too overwhelmed by her attention to form a coherent word. He tried to back away from her, but between her body, the chairs, and his large L-shaped desk, he was fully hemmed in.

“Since you’re mine now, and since you’re so eager to make up for the way you treated me before… I have an idea.” Beth suddenly moved Ted out of the way, swapping positions with him to bring herself closer to the desk. He was free now, but remained frozen, unable to run.

With a seductive smile, Beth sat back on his desk, crumpling her performance review file beneath her as she lifted one of her legs to present her foot to Ted.

“Take off my shoe.”

Swallowing, trembling, Ted gingerly removed the stiletto and set it in his chair. Beth pulled back her foot and offered him the other one.

“This one too.” 

Ted wordlessly obeyed.

Grinning, Beth scooted forward on the desk slightly, her skirt riding up a bit as she slid. She rested a hand in her knee, then slowly traced a finger up her thigh, slipping under her skirt and hooking a finger under the waistband of her pantyhose.

“Now, help me out of these,” she said as she started to tug on them, wriggling on the desk to work the hose off of her hips.

“What? No, uh… Beth, I can’t, uh, uh!”

“Of course you can. After all, I told you to.”

“B-b-b-but! We’re at work! The glass!” Ted pointed to the completely transparent facade of his office, and the glass wall of the team’s office beyond, showing a clear view of the floor’s hallway.

Beth rolled her eyes, shrugging. “No one’s here, and besides, my back’s to it. Even if anyone was here, they wouldn’t see. Now quit stalling.”

“But… But…”

“Ted. I’m not going to ask you again.”

Beth’s stern demeanor broke as she failed to hold in a laugh. She couldn’t help it; she recognized Ted’s rapid, labored breathing, the look of sheer panic on his face. It was a panic that Jody had fully liberated her from, and seeing it on someone else’s face, inflicted upon them by her, made her feel more powerful than she’d ever felt in her life.

She really hadn’t expected to get to him this badly!

Ted barely held himself together, just enough to to as he was told and help her out of her hose.

“Panties, too.”

“Beth…”

“Ted.”

Trembling, he reached uncertain, shaky hands under her skirt, hair soaking through with anxious sweat as he gradually worked to peel off Beth’s underwear, her ass continuing to destroy her paperwork as she worked back and forth to help him remove the panties.

“Good boy, Ted. Aw, look at you. Did you like me calling you that? You’re so much better this way. I used to hate Ted Murphy, but now that he knows his place, I think I’m starting to really, really like him.

“Now. Eat me out.”

The command practically seemed to make Ted shrink another inch, as though he were collapsing in on himself like a dying star. He could voice no protest, and Beth’s imperious expression made it clear that no protest would be tolerated. Slowly, he lowered himself to his knees, and Beth scooted forward a little more, hiking up her skirt to give him better access.

Her commanding demeanor fractured as soon as she felt his tongue between her legs, her entire body surging with pleasure and power. With nothing but a few words, she’d completely broken the man who’d terrorized her for so long. Jody had set her up, and Beth had spiked the ball directly into the sand. Heaving and gasping, she threw her head back with more force than she intended, the momentum sending her on to her back, legs wrapping around Ted , her shoulders dangling off the edge of his desk. She sighed blissfully, eyes shut, her breaths rising in falling with the rhythm of his tongue.

Her eyes opened a crack, and then shot open wider. They were being watched by someone out in the hall.

What on earth was Joyce doing here?