Smaller Luke Theory

Performance Improvement Plan - Chapter 3

Added 2024-09-26 08:37:24 +0000 UTC

Francesca slipped into Laura’s office, leaning back against the wall near the door, arms crossed.

“You gonna say anything, or are you just here to watch?” Laura asked, not bothering to look up from her work.

On another day, Francesca might’ve opted for “watch.” Laura Sheffield was, frankly, the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen in real life. She had the look of a starlet out of the golden age of Hollywood; with ample curves, pouty lips and bouncy golden hair, she looked like she should be trading innuendo-laden barbs with Humphrey Bogart, not fact-checking a pop psychology book on the “power of positive thinking.” Every little motion and gesture she made was engrossing to watch as she flipped through a dozen different reference books all splayed out on her desk, scribbling notes on a legal pad and occasionally typing something into her computer, her perfectly-manicured nails rapping the keys like rain on a windowsill.

But no. Francesca had something to say.

“We’re going out for drinks this Friday.”

“Who? You and the mouse in your pocket?”

Francesca swallowed, tensing her jaw as she shifted her weight. No one was as big of an asshole as Ted… but Laura could sometimes give him a run for his money.

“No. All of us. You, me, Joyce and Beth.”

“Pass.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“And I don’t take orders from you. Now get out of my office, some of us work around here.”

Francesca sniffed sharply and circled the older woman’s desk. Sometimes, Francesca couldn’t believe that Laura only had two years on her; she always seemed so composed, so mature. Laura seemed like a real, honest-to-God adult, while Francesca still felt like a kid playing pretend most of the time.

But other times, Laura could act like a fucking brat.

“Listen,” Francesca said, leaning over Laura’s desk. Laura looked up from her legal pad, making eye contact for the first time, a scowl playing at the corners of her lips. “You know as well as I do that Beth has been getting a raw deal from the day she started here.”

“She’ll either sink or swim. It was the same for you.”

“I didn’t have Ted remodeling the fucking office because my mom got hit by a car. You know that he’s taken things too far with her.”

“Yes,” Laura answered, affecting a sarcastic, overly-formal smile. “And I happily cooperated with the investigation into the incident.” She held up her empty hands and shook her head. “Not my fault they didn’t actually do anything about it! I did everything I could.”

Francesca pursed her lips and knocked on Laura’s desk with her knuckle. “She needs someone to talk to. That’s something else you could do. We can give her some support instead of hanging her out to dry.”

“So go! Who’s stopping you?”

“She needs more than just me. She doesn’t just need a friend to vent to, she needs, you know… we need to make her feel like one of the team. Joyce won’t come with us if I invite her but she won’t want to be the only person sitting out.”

“Getting treated like garbage for no good reason is probably the best thing to make her feel like ‘one of the team.’ That’s pretty much all this ‘team’ is.” With that, Laura returned to her work, clearly considering the subject closed.

Francesca sighed. “Look… I know about what happened.”

Laura froze.

“I know they passed you over for the manager promotion in favor of him.”

“You are talking about things that do not concern you.”

“It fucking sucks! You had the seniority and you’d be better at it than he is.”

“Francesca.” Laura’s voice had taken on the tone of a mother warning a child to stop misbehaving.

“But, you know, if you want to be a leader, then I’m standing here and I’m offering you a chance to actually lead.”

“Francesca.”

“Take the new girl out for drinks one time, it won’t fucking kill you.”

“Enough.” Laura snapped her fingers and then pointed to the door.

Francesca’s shoulders sagged. “Fine.” She started to move for the door.

“But if you’re not coming with us, then you’re not gonna get to hear about how Beth told Ted to fuck off to his face.”

A smile spread across Francesca’s lips as she heard Laura sit up in her chair behind her.

***

Ted sat in the waiting room, bouncing his leg.

Everything was… wrong. He didn’t know how else to describe it. He’d felt tired and unfocused all week. He’d skipped the gym 5 days in a row; every time he thought about going, a blanket of exhaustion seemed to drape itself over him. On Thursday he’d finally forced himself through it and went, but he felt awkward and uncomfortable the entire time there. He found himself struggling to lift with proper form, and the treadmill wasn’t giving him the usual rush of endorphins. Instead there was just this oppressive itching in the back of his skull, which persisted until he finally relented and went home.

Worse still was the fact that everyone was… ruder all of a sudden. Everywhere he went, people were ignoring him, pushing past him, cutting him in line. It was relentless. For God’s sake, even Beth had talked back to him on Monday!

“Is she gonna be much longer?”

The receptionist didn’t respond. She was leaning forward on one elbow, lazily swiping and tapping at the phone sitting on her desk.

“Excuse me? Ma’am?” He snapped his fingers for emphasis.

“Hm? Oh, Jody should be ready for you soon, Mr. Murphy.”

Ted quietly grumbled to himself. He’d made an appointment with Jody for Saturday at 1 PM, the same time as last week. Then, she’d called him and told him she’d need to reschedule to 9 AM. He’d gotten here at 8:45, and now she’d kept him waiting for over an hour. Even she was being more rude to him.

He shouldn’t take this kind of treatment. It wasn’t right! He should march right up to the desk and tell that receptionist to drop her attitude, quit playing on her phone at work, and find out what was holding up his god-damned appointment.

But… for some reason, he just didn’t seem to have the fire for that. It had been the same way all week long; he’d have been well within his rights to tear someone a new asshole about 20 different times in the past several days, but every time he just felt like… letting it go. He didn’t even do anything to discipline Beth when she insulted him to his face.

Maybe… maybe some part of him felt guilty about the whole wall incident, and was trying to keep a leash on his anger as a result. Too tight of a leash.

“Kelly?” Jody’s voice crackled through an intercom. “You can go ahead and send Mr. Murphy in now.”

The receptionist smiled toward Ted, who was already out of his seat and power walking toward the door.

***

“Alright, alright, alright, tell me just one more time.”

“Oh my god, Laura, leave the poor girl alone!”

All four women were squeezed into a small circular booth in the back corner of a crowded bar, just a few blocks from the office.

Laura rolled her eyes at Joyce, waving her off before she turned her attention back to Beth.

“It’s, it’s okay. I don’t really mind telling the story again but… um, there’s just not really much to tell.” Laura silently thanked God that getting a beer in Beth had been enough to shut down her obnoxious habit of apologizing every other sentence. She was still way too shy for her own good, but at least they could talk to her without it feeling like they were constantly coaching her through a panic attack.

“Humor me,” Laura said. “This is like… the best thing that’s happened at work in years. I wanna savor it.”

Blushing, Beth coughed awkwardly. Francesca sitting next to her st a hand on her shoulder, which seemed to help steady her.

“Well, I just… Um, I don’t know. I’d been at the office since 5, and I had kind of zoned out, just… thinking, about. Well, about how hard this job has been, and how bad the thing from a couple weeks ago was. And before I knew it the sun was up and Mr. Murphy—”

“Ted. Call him whatever he makes you call him to his face, but let’s not pretend like he deserves any respect while he’s not around.”

Beth blushed a little. “Right, sorry.”

“And what did I say about apologizing?”

“Oh, I’m sor—” Beth cut herself off as Laura shot her a judgmental glare, somehow making herself even smaller as she stared down at the table.

“Um. Anyway, so, before I knew it, um… Ted, was in his office, and I went to go give him an update on the work I’d done, because, um, he likes me to do that.”

“Because apparently he can’t just check the spreadsheet like the rest of us,” Francesca interjected.

“Uh, right. And, well, just… looking at him sitting there, I don’t know. There was something different about him, he didn’t have the same… I wasn’t…”

“He didn’t scare you,” Laura offered.

“Right. I guess it’s, kind of embarrassing to admit that he ever scares me, but um. For some reason he didn’t that morning. And, without that, that, that pressure, I just… Well, I didn’t ‘explode,’ but I guess I sort of, blew a gasket.”

“And what did you do?” Laura had already heard the story twice, but she was leaning toward Beth, rapt with attention like a child hearing their favorite bedtime story.

“I just… I was so angry I was shaking, thinking about how awful he’s been to me, so I said…. I said…” Beth’s face was turning red with embarrassment as she thought back on the moment. “I said ‘fuck you.’”

Laura threw her head back and cackled so loudly that she drew a few stares from nearby tables, then scooted closer to Beth and gave her a big hug.

“Hon, I love you. You’re my new favorite. You hear that you two?” Laura looked at Francesca and Joyce over Beth’s shoulder as she continued to squeeze her. “This one’s my favorite now. You two have a lot of ground to cover.” The other two women exchanged looks, smiling.

Laura never used to be a cold person. People used to call her the “mom” of the team; she had the most seniority, and she was constantly checking in on the new hires, showing them the ropes, helping them get settled in the company. Their old manager was nice enough, but he was also well into his 60s and was clearly trying to do as little as possible while he waited out the clock before he could retire; everyone knew that if you needed anything, from assistance on a draft to relationship advice, Laura was who you came to.

But the past five years had slowly driven the warmth right out of her. Ted had a habit of doing that to people, and he’d hurt Laura worse than anybody else. Muting all of her emotions was the only way she could make it through the work day, and slowly but surely that tendency had bled into every other aspect of her life. It even infected the rest of the team, as Joyce and Francesca learned to take after her.

Hearing about Beth standing up to that son of a bitch was the first thing that had given her some true joy in longer than she cared to think about.

“I totally get what you mean though, Beth,” Joyce interjected. “Something about Ted has been off all week. You’ve all noticed it too, right?”

Francesca nodded, but Laura shrugged, releasing a flustered Beth from her arms. “I’ve gotten avoiding that man down to an art, so I really couldn’t say.”

“Well, it hasn’t taken an artist to avoid him this week,” Francesca said. “He comes in, goes right to his office, and stays there until quitting time. Comes out once or twice to go the bathroom and that’s it. I’m almost worried about him.”

Beth laughed nervously as Laura groaned and Joyce blew a raspberry in dismissal.

“Maybe he finally figured out that nobody likes him,” Joyce offered with a smirk.

“Maybe that therapist they sent him to actually got through his thick skull,” Laura scoffed.

Beth murmured something under her breath.

“You gotta talk loud enough for us to hear you, sweetie.”

She blushed but then took a deep breath and repeated herself. “‘S-sorry, Mr. Murphy, but we ran some tests, and it says here that you’re an asshole.’”

All three women laughed and cheered as Laura went in for another hug.

***

Jody’s office was bright, white walls illuminated by sunlight pouring in from every window, filtered only slightly by sheer powder-blue curtains. The floor was a slate-like shade of hardwood, which matched the office’s overstuffed leather furniture. A large wooden desk with two monitors sat in the back corner. Dr. Becker rose up from it to greet Ted.

“Busy morning?” he asked, fighting to hold back his irritation. Jody just smiled at him.

“No, not particularly. Close the door and have a seat! It’s good to see you again, Ted.”

Ted just stood there, staring at her, puffing air through his nostrils. He clicked his tongue before turning to shut the door.

“I just assumed you must be busy, since my appointment was at 9:00, and it’s nearly 10:00.”

“You don’t remember the conversation we had last week. That’s okay, I forgive you.” She put a strange emphasis on those last three words, and Ted felt relaxation overtake him, his muscles un-tensing. “Please, please! Have a seat and we can talk.”

Feeling calmer but more confused, Ted sat down on the couch. The doctor sat in a char opposite him, a manilla folder in her hand.

“Now. What seems to be the issue?”

“It’s just… I don’t know. Nothing has made sense this week. People have been treating me badly, I feel… tired. Focusing on anything for too long seems to drain me, I… I don’t know, I can’t really explain it, but things just aren’t right.”

Jody nodded along, face neutral.

“Am I making any sense?”

“Oh, of course you are Ted! Everything you just described makes perfect sense, given our session last week.”

“...Huh?”

Jody opened the folder and handed him two sheets of paper out of it. “Here, take a look at this.”

***

June 15th, 2024 - Dr. Joanna Becker

To briefly summarize how the treatment works: the only parts of the brain left conscious by the hypnotic frequency deal with memory, emotion, and reflexes, as well as those areas necessary for basic biological function. An analogy I like to use is to think of the brain like an army, and the frequency puts all the generals to sleep. This creates a kind of “power vacuum,” as the army needs orders to function, which allows the psychologist administering the treatment to step in. The army is very-well trained, and will reject orders that blatantly contradict their standard operating procedure, hence the need for a very subtle, gradual touch. A more technical explanation of the neurological underpinnings of the treatment can be found in our forthcoming paper.

DR. BECKER: Ted, do you think of yourself as a confident man?

MR. MURPHY: Yes.

DR. BECKER: Is that really true, Ted? You constantly brag about yourself and try to dominate others. Is that the behavior of a confident person?

MR. MURPHY: Yes.

The subject is incapable of lying while in this state, but just because something is untrue doesn’t make it a lie, per se. Mr. Murphy’s behavior is that of a deeply insecure individual, attempting to project strength in order to mask that insecurity.

DR. BECKER: Ted, I want you to stop pretending. I want you to accept your inner vulnerability. It is okay to be weak. I want you to embrace your weakness. Do you understand?

MR. MURPHY: Yes.

DR. BECKER: What did I just ask you to do?

MR. MURPHY: Embrace… weakness.

***

Ted looked up from the paper, brow furrowed.

“I… I don’t remember this.”

Jody was leaning back in her chair. “Keep reading.”

***

June 15th, 2024 - Dr. Joanna Becker

DR. BECKER: That’s right. Embrace weakness. I’m going to give a few more commands, and after each, I want you to repeat that phrase: “embrace weakness.” Okay?

Commands that run counter to the subject’s self-conception are adopted more readily when they’re condensed into a repeatable “mantra.” Making the subject themselves do the repeating amplifies the efficacy of this method.

MR. MURPHY: Yes.

DR. BECKER: Stop interrupting people.