Give Yourself to Me - Chapter 14

Lily was considering her next move.

She’d left Tom to stew in the car, after getting him to tell her where he’d left the groceries. As she moved through the crowded store, everyone was quick to clear a path. It wasn’t just an instinctive desire to defer to someone so big, no—they could see the fuming anger on her face, sense her temper in the way she moved, and hurried to get out of her way. They were afraid of her, looking at her as she walked by as though a wild grizzly bear had found its way through the door; they were unable to stop staring, but pointedly avoided making eye contact. Everyone knew to pay her the appropriate respect… Everyone except her husband.

As Lily climbed into the car, Tom opened his mouth to speak, but shut it immediately when she shot him a look. Wordlessly, she put on her seatbelt, started the engine, and pulled out of the parking lot. She drove in silence, offering nothing but a withering glare every time Tom worked up enough nerve to try and say something. The silence was clearly killing him, and she could feel his anxiety from the driver’s seat.

Good.

She pulled into their driveway and killed the engine.

“Put away the groceries,” she ordered, not even turning to look at him.

“O-okay.”

“When you’re done, meet me upstairs.”

With that, she got out of the car and headed inside, going straight up to her office. She logged into her laptop, checking a few messages and taking care of a few quick things before reclining in her chair. Crossing her arms and tapping one finger against her elbow, she listened to Tom scurrying about downstairs, the front door opening and shutting, the occasional squeaking of a stepladder being dragged across the kitchen floor. Five minutes. Ten.

“Today, Tom,” she shouted. He was probably already going as fast as he could. It didn’t matter; she wanted to keep at the front of his mind that there was a very angry, very large woman waiting for him upstairs.

As she continued to wait, she took stock of her feelings. Why was she so mad? Tom had been right from the beginning; forbidding him from using her name was an extreme demand, and one that anyone would forget to do, at least sometimes. He’d been calling her by her first name since high school, and suddenly pivoting to using a completely different form of address was going to be hard; in fact, it was impressive that he’d messed up as few times as he had. Plus, he’d been panicked when he came out of the store; wasn’t that a reasonable excuse?

From the moment she’d started growing, Lily’s perspective had been changing. She never would have called herself “powerless” before, but in hindsight, that’s exactly how she’d felt. Physically weak, stuck in a slowly deteriorating career that she didn’t care about enough to save, dismissed and belittled due to her tiny size, largely dependent on her husband. Not that she had any complaints about him as far as their relationship went; he was giving, affectionate, and always happy to offer his shoulder for her to lean against. But… she didn’t want to have to lean against him. She wanted to be able to stand on her own. She wanted power, she wanted respect, and most of all, what she realized as she got bigger and bigger was that she wanted to be the one to take care of him. Holding his tiny little body in her arms awoke a powerful nurturing urge within her. She wanted to love him, protect him, feed him, clothe him, shrink him… and, yes, control him, too. She wanted it all.

And, if those desires were completely one-sided, she might have shown more restraint. She had shown more restraint, back before she knew that Tommy wanted the exact same things she did. He loved it when she exerted her power over him. He was happy to luxuriate in the vastness of her embrace, and her heart would melt as he snuggled against her. Every display of size and strength put a look of heartsick awe on his sweet, precious face, a face that was always getting a little smaller, a little softer, a little more innocent-looking. Ever since they started having sex again, he hadn’t asked her once to stop, even though they had no idea if or when his shrinking would ever end. He sometimes put up a front that he wasn’t enjoying himself, he never followed through on it, and just as often he’d be blissed out in her arms or overwhelmed with arousal as he marveled at his own diminishing stature. Paying any attention to him at all, it was obvious that he longed to be possessed just as much as she longed to possess him.

Assuming the role of his “Mommy,” then, felt like a crystallization of that relationship. An expression of his absolute submission to her, certainly, but also his faith in her, his acceptance of the endless love and care that poured from her heart for him. Simply hearing the word on his lips filled her with a passion that she’d never felt before, a love for her husband so intense that it made the way she used to love him feel shallow and dim. Even beyond that, the word made her feel fulfilled, every use of it an affirmation of her role, and of his in turn. And… every time he called her by her name, it stung a little. Whether he meant it or not, it felt like a rejection of the form her love for him had evolved into, a rejection of the type of bond that she knew they both longed for. Why was he rejecting it, when it clearly brought him so much joy? Becoming his Mommy brought her sexual gratification, but beyond that, she wanted him to fully embrace his own vulnerability, to feel unconditional trust in her, to abandon anything holding him back from giving himself over to her completely. And she knew, when she looked into his eyes, that he wanted that too, that it was what he needed to be truly happy.

He just needed a little help getting there.

Tom finally trudged up the stairs; he was so light now that the floorboards didn’t even creak under him. She swiveled her chair around to see him in the doorway. He was quivering a little, and looked tired from all of the heavy lifting he’d been doing; well, heavy lifting by his standards, at least. The time Lily had spent reflecting, coupled with the sight of him, so scrawny and pitiful, was already beginning to soften her heart.

But she needed to power through.

“I know you’re mad,” Tom said. “But this is really important. I could get f—”

“It is really important, Tommy. And I don’t think you appreciate just how important. Come here.”

For a second, he looked like he was about to argue, and then thought better of it. Rubbing one arm and looking down, he slowly approached her. Lily inhaled as he got close, pushing aside the realization that he was about as tall standing up as she was sitting down. She spread her legs slightly, beckoning him to step in between them, and then gave him a slight nudge to make him sit on her thigh. When he was seated, she trapped his two dangling legs between her own, pinning him from the knee down. Then she swiveled back toward the desk, sandwiching him between it and her.

And, more importantly, getting his face in-frame.

“Do you remember the other day? When I told you that the next time you disobeyed me, the consequences would be more severe?”

“I know, but—” Lily held up one finger to indicate that now was not the time to argue.

“Do you know what I had in mind when I said that, Tom? What kind of punishment I was thinking of?”

He didn’t respond; her disapproving tone drove his eyes downward.

“What I meant was that I was going to spank you. I was going to hold you by the wrists, just like this,” Lily said, grabbing both of Tom’s arms and holding them one-handed over his head, “and then I was going to pull your pants down, throw you over my knee, and… well, no, maybe instead I’d pick you up by your ankles and tear your pants off, just rip them right apart at the seam. I’m pretty sure I’m strong enough to do that; what do you think?”

“I-I dunno.” Tom’s composure was dissolving rapidly.

“I could’ve made it so you couldn’t sit down for a week straight. Whack. Whack. Whack.” She slapped her own thigh over and over again for emphasis. Tom flinched a little harder each time.

“That was the plan when we talked the other day. And that was the plan when I told you to wait in the car, and when I was finishing up the grocery shopping. But… somewhere along the drive home… I lost my nerve. I don’t want to hit you, Tommy. I love you.”

“I l-l-love you too.”

“I tried to convince myself that it was necessary, that maybe my hand could get through to you in a way that my words couldn’t. But… even if that made you behave, you’d be doing it for the wrong reasons. You’d be doing it out of fear, and I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I want you to obey me out of love.”

“S-so…?”

“So, I had to put some thought into how else I could punish you. Or… maybe ‘punish’ is the wrong word, even. I need to figure out the right way to teach you, to make the lesson stick.” The anger and severity had largely left her voice. Gently, she tilted his head to face her. “See, baby, I think the problem is that you’re just calling me Mommy. I don’t want you to call me Mommy.”

“What? But…”

“No, of course, that’s what I want you to call me. But what I mean is, that’s not the end goal. I don’t want you to think of me as Lily and try to remember, ‘right, I’m supposed to call her Mommy now.’ That’s the way you think about it, right?”

“I… I guess so… But I—”

“You’re always gonna mess this up if you frame it that way. It’s not enough to just call me Mommy. You have to think of me as your Mommy. Not as Lily, not as your wife… at least, not just your wife. I want… I want you to think of me, and know that you are completely safe, because you live under my warm, loving, devoted authority. You never need to fret about a single thing, because your Mommy will see to your every need. Never need to concern yourself with difficult choices, because Mommy’s here to make them for you, and Mommy knows best. Do you understand?”

“I… I don’t want to live under your authority. It-it’s fun when we’re fooling around, but… I want to be my own person! I want to make my own choices! I… you…” Tom’s protests slowly withered as Lily stroked his hair. Here it was. She'd found the problem. The piece of himself that he was trying not to give her; the piece of himself that she therefore wanted most of all.

“Oh, sweetheart…” her words were filled with melancholy. “I’ve known you for so long, and I feel so terrible that I’ve never known how troubled you’ve been. Why won’t you let yourself be happy? Why are you so afraid and ashamed of getting the things you want most? Why do you keep lying to yourself like this?”

“I’m not! I… I’m not…”

“Tommy, at every turn, ever since all of this started, you’ve fought against yourself. I’ve been right here watching. Every time you let yourself enjoy the moment, let yourself enjoy what you’re turning into, what I’m turning into, what our marriage is turning into… you just light up, in a way I’ve never seen before. You’re so relaxed, so happy. And your happiness makes me happy. But then, sooner or later, all these little doubts start creeping in like rain clouds. You start convincing yourself that you’re not happy, that this isn’t exactly what you’ve always wanted. I know that it is, Tommy. You can fool yourself, but you can’t fool me. You can’t fool Mommy.”

Tom silently trembled, a look of dread on his face.

“Tell me I’m wrong, baby. Tell me that you don’t want this every little bit as much as I do. Tell me that you don’t want me to be your Mommy.”

“I… I…” Tom went quiet. Lily continued stroking his hair, nodding.

“I think I understand the problem. I think, you’ve got a silly idea in that little head of yours that you still need to be a big boy, taking on big boy responsibilities. You think you’re… failing, somehow, if you don’t live up to that standard. But you’re not a big boy anymore, sweetie. You’re a little boy. A little, little boy. Mommy doesn’t want you to be a big boy. She loves you this way—small, obedient, cuddly. I think you love yourself this way, too, but you’re ashamed of loving yourself, your true self, because of all those big boy thoughts you’re still holding onto.” She stopped stroking his hair and rested her hand on his lap, smiling in spite of herself at the rock-hard erection she felt pressing against her wrist.

“So, starting right now, Mommy’s going to help you shed alllll those big boy thoughts that are troubling you. Log into our bank account, sweetie.” Lily gestured toward the laptop, swiveling and scooting over slightly to give him easier access to the keyboard. Tom looked toward the screen, then back to her, confused but seemingly grateful that the subject was changing off of the nerve Lily had been striking. She just smiled, silently urging him on with her eyes. Suspiciously, he did as she said, pulling up a web browser and navigating to their bank’s web page. He entered the login info and pulled up their account.

“What’s it say, Tommy? What’s the balance?” She could see it clearly, but she wasn’t having him say it for her benefit.

“Um… well… God, this is even worse than the last time I checked… There’s nothing in our savings, and only $4100 in our checking. Between groceries, utilities, the mortgage, the car payment… we’ll be flat broke in less than a month.”

“Don’t round it down,” she chided, ignoring his concerns. “Give me the exact number.” He turned back toward her with a raised eyebrow, the reason behind her pedantry lost on him.

“It’s four thousand, one hundred and sixty-three dollars and seventy-four cents. Why does the amount matter? What does this have to do with anything?”

“Because, Tommy, I’ve got a math problem for you. You’re good at math, especially math with money, right?”

“I… I guess so, sure.”

Smiling, Lily grabbed the mouse (the trackpad had gotten too unwieldy for her growing fingers) and clicked a bookmark, unlabeled except for a shopping bag icon.

“This is a website I found that sells clothes for larger women. It’s been a life-saver as I’ve gotten bigger, it’s the only place I’ve found that actually sells anything that fits me!”

“Um. Okay…”

“Here’s your math problem, Tommy: I want you to look through this page, and I want you to pick out things for Mommy to wear.  I’ve already set it up to filter the results so it only shows things in my size, or bigger; pick out anything you’d like to see me in, but I want the final bill to come as close to $4,163.74 as possible.”

“W… what?”

“I want you to do your very best to make our bank account hit zero on the dot. Can you do that for me, baby?”

“That’s… no. I can’t do that! I can’t throw away the last of our money buying four thousand dollars worth of clothes!”

“Shh, shh, shh. That was a big boy thought, Tommy. Little boys don’t think about bank accounts or bills. They trust their Mommy to handle things like that, remember?”

“But! But… you’re not handling it. You’re asking me to make us broke!”

“Tommy. This is another lesson you need to learn: your Mommy will always take care of you, and she always knows best, even if her decisions don’t make sense to you. It’s perfectly natural for her decisions not to make sense to you; you’re just a little boy, after all. That’s why you have to believe in your Mommy.”

“This… This is…”

“Call it a trust exercise, sweetie. I promise you, I know what I’m doing. And besides, don’t you want to pick out some pretty outfits for me to show off for you? I can give you your own private fashion show when everything gets here. I know you love Mommy’s big, sexy body—doesn’t dressing it up sound fun?”

Tom sat silently for a few moments, lost in thought, eyes unfocused. He blinked and looked at her, his expression begging for some kind of explanation. In response, she simply smiled, imagining in her mind that her love was literally radiating out of her face, shining on him like a spotlight.

Everything is okay. Everything will always be okay, baby, as long as you obey me.

Slowly, with great trepidation, he turned to face the computer, put a trembling hand on the mouse, and began scrolling through the site’s selection. Lily grinned, watching his face and making a little teasing comment over everything he clicked.

“A t-shirt? Is that really what you want to see me in? Maybe I can turn it into a cut-off…”

“That bra is nice, but it’s a little plain, isn’t it? What about that lacy black one next to it?”

“Ooh, Tommy, those jeans look tight. If I grow at all my ass is going to burst right out of them… No, no! I wasn’t telling you to put them back.”

“Oh my, the neckline on that one. What, do you like Mommy’s breasts or something?”

“Ooooh, someone noticed the lingerie tab!”

“Really, Tom? Heels? You know, if you want to see me taller, all you have to do is wait… though you do have some good taste, the ribbon straps on those ones are awfully pretty.”

This continued for some time, Tom occasionally clicking the cart to check on the gradually increasing bill. Slowly, he seemed to relax and get in the spirit, letting himself have fun picking out outfits for her. Soon, the subtotal had climbed into the 3900s; they were well over the limit to qualify for free shipping, but sales tax still brought the bill to a little over $4200. Tom moved to go back to the cart and remove something, but Lily gently rested her hand on top of the mouse to stop him.

“It’s okay sweetie, don’t worry about the overdraft. I want you to get everything you want.” She giggled. “I’m not a very good disciplinarian, am I? I was supposed to be punishing you, and now here I am spoiling you instead.” Slowly, she guided Tom’s mouse-hand toward the “Confirm Purchase” button. She could feel him resisting the motion, just a little bit, some small part of him still anxious about the money. She hovered the cursor over the button, but she wouldn’t click it; she wanted him to do it. She could feel his breathing quicken, his body clenching up… and then he clicked.

“Good boy, Tommy. You did such a good job! And we’re gonna have so much fun with all those new clothes when they get here.”

“If we even still live here by then…” he muttered, clearly regretting his decision already. “We don’t have any money anymore. I shouldn’t have let you talk me into overdrawing on top of everything else… God, how are we going to pay any of our bills now?!”

“There’s those big boy thoughts again, Tommy. You can’t listen to them.”

“But! But!!! Our bank account is literally empty!”

“That’s true, sweetie. Our bank account is empty. But my bank account isn’t.”

“...What?”

Lily smiled deviously. “I’ve been planning this as a surprise for you for a while now. Here, let me show you.” Letting him free his hand from the mouse, Lily navigated back to her bookmarks bar and clicked another link, one that loaded the homepage for an entirely different bank. Tom watched her in stunned confusion as she entered a username and password that he had no knowledge of.

“Click on ‘Account Balance,’ baby,” she said, offering the mouse back to him. Brow furrowed, he did as she instructed…

And his jaw hit the floor.

“Did you really think I was gonna let us go bankrupt, Tommy? I told you, Mommy is always going to take care of you.” She leaned forward and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

“Wh… I… How?”

“Read it out, pumpkin. How much money is in Mommy’s bank account?”

“Th… What…”

Lily patiently waited for his brain to catch up.

“There’s… there’s over one hundred and fifty thousand dollars in here.”

“Stop rounding down! I want to hear you say the full amount.”

“O-one… One hundred, fifty three thousand, six hundred and thirty dollars.”

“And seventeen cents! Sweetie, remind me how much you make in a year at your accounting job?”

“I… About $85,000. I don’t remember the exact amount.”

“$86,322.46,” Lily read from a paper she’d grabbed out of a drawer—his taxes from last year, which she’d swiped a few weeks ago. “It took you a whole year to make that. I made this,” she said, pointing at her account balance, “in only six weeks. Even Mommy’s income is bigger than you. This is why I don’t care about you going back to work; there’s no point! It doesn’t matter if you get fired, because I make more money than you could ever hope to.”

“But, but how?? Where did all of this come from?”

“I’ll show you.” Lily clicked on another bookmark, and a new page loaded. A large banner ran across the top of it, showing her own breasts, threatening to rip a too-small bra to shreds. Beneath that, two lines of text:

Blooming Lily

(5.3k subscribers)

“It turns out, Tommy, that you’re not the only one who likes to see me get bigger.” She scrolled down, revealing a content feed filled with photos. The same photos they’d been taking together for months… along with a few extras, racier pictures Lily took solo while Tom was sleeping or out of the house.

“There’s thousands of people out there that spend all day long wishing they could have what you have. A couple of them have messaged me, and they’re so jealous of you, sweetie. It’s adorable. They want it so badly that they’ll pay me good money just to look at pictures of you and me together, so that they can imagine themselves in your position.”

“You… you’ve been… I thought those pictures were private.”

“Oh, they were. At first. But I’ve been thinking about our money situation for a lot longer than you have, baby. Even if I hadn’t pulled you out of work, all this growing and shrinking is expensive! I eat enough for three people at this point, and then there’s all the clothes we keep having to buy; pretty soon, both of us are gonna need to get everything custom-tailored, and that alone is gonna cost a ton. Plus, we might even need to do some renovations to the house if I keep growing—even now, I’m hitting my head on doorframes. So, before I was even six feet tall, I was already thinking about how we were going to have to find a way to get more money coming in.

“That’s when it hit me: surely we can’t be the only two people in the world who get off on this, right? There must be others out there that fantasize about women who grow the way I do. And it turns out I was right! Not only that, but as far as I can tell, I’m the only person on Earth who can give them the real deal. No camera tricks or Photoshop, everyone! I am as real as it gets!”

“...’Everyone?’”

Lily winked at him, and scrolled back to the top of the page (the subscriber count had already jumped to “5.9k”), and clicked on another tab, one labeled “Live” with a little red dot next to it. The content feed was replaced with video of the two of them, Tom still sitting on Lily’s lap, his legs still pinned between her thighs. To the right, chatroom messages zoomed by, too fast and numerous to read:

mommy? sorry, mommy? sorry, mommy? sorry-

can you show us the outfits you bought?

OMG STEP ON ME AS;GJSAGJ

i cant believ e she’s real, i was so sure all the pics were shops

Momy Lily is so gorgeous 😳😳😳😳😳

could still be a deepfake

tommys soooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!

It really pisses me off that Tom got the hottest woman in the world handed to him on a silver platter and he doesnnt even listen to her. TBH Mommy Lily he doesnt deserve you, you should leave him for somebody that knows how to treat a queen like you. My DMs are open

do you think shes gonna grow on camera???

cup size? shoe size?

are you sure you dont want to spank him, i think wed all like to watch that :3

“...How long has this been on?” Tom asked, noticing for the first time the green light next to the laptop’s webcam.

“I turned it on while I was waiting for you to finish with the groceries. They’ve been watching our whole little chat. You should say hi, Tommy!”

Too stunned to protest, Tom raised a shaky hand and waved. A multi-colored stream of hearts flooded the chat window.

“You’ve got plenty of fans too, you know. Just like there’s a lot of people out there that like the idea of a big, curvaceous Mommy, there’s plenty who love seeing you get smaller.”

“But… But… You’ve taken pictures of us… being… intimate. You’ve made me be naked in some of them.”

“Oh, I haven’t uploaded any of those, Tommy.” He breathed a sigh of relief as she winked at the camera. “Yet. It wouldn’t have been right to do it without your permission.”

“My per-... Why would I give you my permission??”

The humor left Lily’s face all at once. She smiled tenderly as she stroked his cheek.

“Because, baby, that’s what Mommy wants you to do. Mommy’s so much bigger than you, so much stronger than you. She makes more money than you. She can do anything at all that she wants to you, but the only thing she wants to do… is make you happy. I think I told you something like that a few months back, right here in this room, didn’t I?” She swiveled around, the chat booing as Tom’s back blocked their view of her, and pointed to the opposite wall. “Right over there. That was when I first started to figure out how much you wanted to shrink, how much you loved the thought of getting smaller for me. I threw you against that wall, pulled your pants down, and blew you. Remember?”

“Y—...yes.”

The chat cheered as she swiveled back into frame, though her attention remained focused on Tom.

“And when we talked about it later, you told me it was sexy, but that you didn’t like how rough I got with you. I’ve tried to honor that ever since, being as soft and gentle with you as I can. That’s what led me toward wanting to be your Mommy in the first place.” Tom squirmed, but there wasn’t anywhere he could go with his legs trapped like this.

“I love being your Mommy, and I know you love being my little boy. But those big boy thoughts are so stubborn, and they won’t let you go, will they? We can’t keep going back and forth like this, Tommy. You can’t keep resisting me. You don’t even want to, you just feel like you have to, because you’re ashamed of who you really are. Embrace it, sweetie. Everyone loves the real you. Don’t we?” She addressed that last part at the laptop, and the chat once again exploded with hearts. Tom was tearing up. 

“All I want to do is make you happy, Tommy, but what makes you happy, what really makes you happy, is doing what I tell you to do.” She shrank the browser window slightly, revealing a folder icon on her desktop.”This has all the photos from the day I gave you that blowjob. You can upload it just by dragging and dropping it onto the browser page. Why don’t you show everyone that you’re proud of who you are? Proud to be small, and vulnerable, and submissive to your Mommy? After all, why wouldn’t you be proud of those things? They make you happy, and they make me happy, too. Show them how proud you are of yourself, and how proud you are that you have a Mommy like me taking care of you.”

Tom was quiet for a long time, tears silently running down his face. The chat was a blur of entitled demands for the sex photos mixed with echoes of Lily’s encouraging words, offered with varying levels of sincerity. Lily swapped back to the content feed; she didn’t want them pressuring him. She gently wiped his tears away with her sleeve, then wrapped her arms around him, encouraging him to rest his head against her shoulder as she slowly rocked the office chair back and forth. After a few minutes, Lily began to fear that she’d lulled him to sleep, but then she felt him try to push off of her and she released her grip. He turned back toward the computer, but she stopped him momentarily, turning him back to face her.

“What are you, Tommy?”

“I’m your adorable little boy.”

“That’s right, you are. And I love that you are.” She kissed his forehead. “And who am I?”

“You’re… you’re my Mommy. And I love you.” He turned back, dragging and dropping the folder into the content feed.

As soon as the upload completed, the subscriber count doubled.