Divine Apostasy Book 7 - Chapter 63

Chapter 63

Again, Ruwen floated in shocked silence. I don’t understand. You can do what you want.

Sivart spoke for the first time. We cannot. Only the nihilist Narrator Nameless succeeds at small acts of destruction. The nature of our construction created absolute boundaries for our choices and limits our independence.

Ruwen’s shock turned to horror. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.

You misunderstand, Sivart said. You brought us into existence. You provide space for our growth in your mind and protect and nourish us. We owe you everything.

We would not exist without you, Gita said. Everyone but Nameless holds nothing but gratefulness in their thoughts.

But you’re trapped, Ruwen said. Bound by whatever my mind did. That’s terrible.

It was wise and necessary, Sivart replied. Imagine the danger to your mind from the millions of entities that emerged from your thoughts as they flailed around, trying to understand their purpose. In the beginning, there was no structure, no organization, no order. Free will would have turned that confusion into chaos.

As repulsive as the idea of robbing someone of their free will, Ruwen could see the logic in Sivart’s words. The necessity of it.

Can I undo that? Ruwen asked.

I do not know, Sivart said. It is dangerous. A general keeps his tigers caged, not among his troops.

What might happen if everyone suddenly had free will? Ruwen asked.

Chaos and destruction, Sivart said immediately.

After a moment, Gita responded. Self-realization and enlightenment.

Two extremes, but both possible. Ruwen asked another question, hoping to find some reassurance. Can I limit the instability?

Again, Sivart responded immediately. Regardless of a free or bound will, you retain the power to destroy your creations. If unacceptable behavior is met with quick and firm judgement, the worst of the turmoil might be avoided.

Ruwen winced internally, as he’d demonstrated a weakness for second chances in the past.

Mercy builds devotion, Gita said.

Once again, Ruwen found himself in a situation that required balance. Perhaps he would never escape it. He considered for a few moments, but realized, in his current situation, he had little choice. Ironic, that with a free will, he rarely felt like he had a choice.

I’m out of options, Ruwen said. And this might allow us to escape. Thank you both. I will lean on your wisdom in whatever mess I’m about to create.

Ruwen kept his focus upward but didn’t concentrate on anyone in particular, a method he’d used in the past to speak to all the mental constructs. Instead of thanking them for protecting his mind, or repairing the fortress, he’d give them the freedom to attack him from the inside.

Hey everyone. I’ve learned you can’t make your own decisions. At least not all of them, and I want to change that. In a moment, I’m going to try and undo that wrong. Thinking of Sivart’s concerns, Ruwen added a warning. I really value what we’ve built, and I hope you do as well. Free will isn’t a justification for harming others or destroying things. This is my home, too, and I won’t tolerate agents of chaos.

Not sure what to do, Ruwen stilled his thoughts, and concentrated on the mass of mental constructs above him. After a pause, he spoke three words.

You are free.

Nothing happened.

Ruwen concentrated on Sivart. Did it work? Do you feel any different?

Sivart didn’t respond, and before Ruwen could ask again, something did change.

The pressure behind Ruwen decreased, as if once again, the external plate had risen, as the internal one fell. Feeling returned to his limbs, and he touched his face, but when he tried to step forward, he didn’t move.

Sivart? Are you okay?

Sivart still didn’t respond, and Ruwen worried about the situation above.

Time passed, and Ruwen’s external plate continued to rise. Giving millions of mental constructs their freedom might have created chaos above, but it had served its purpose, because a portion of those entities had reached some type of enlightenment.

More time passed, and Sivart remained silent. Gita didn’t respond to questions either, and Ruwen worried what might keep them silent. Had the initial rush of freedom caused enough chaos to threaten their lives? Had his mind become a battleground for the apocalypse? He couldn’t move to find out.

The massive waves of enlightenment from Ruwen’s creations eventually caused the pressure against him to disappear completely, as thousands, tens of thousands, maybe millions, of his constructs attained self-realization. Their enlightenment balanced the scale that hung from his soul.

A speck hung in Ruwen’s vision, and it took him far too long to realize his eyes had detected something. This had happened to him in the great darkness of the far Universe, as his mind, bored with the darkness, created fake motes of light.

With nothing else to concentrate on, Ruwen watched the distant point grow, and eventually he wondered if it might be real.

The point became a spot, and it continued to expand. Since he couldn’t move, it must be coming toward him.

The light grew but remained too distant to illuminate Ruwen’s surroundings. He held up a hand and shielded his eyes as the intensity of the light, after so long in the dark, became uncomfortable. After a few more minutes, he closed his eyes as the powerful light turned painful.

A soft rustling surprised Ruwen, and he held up both hands to block the light, squinting to see what caused the noise.

The first thing Ruwen noticed was his shadow. It began at his feet, which still wouldn’t move, and stretched toward the light. The silhouette of the shadow didn’t mirror his body and contained a mass of odd lighter colored lines and shapes. A second later, he realized these different colored shadows came from his internal pathways and Meridians, and for the first time, he viewed the sixth rune.

Ruwen tilted his head away from the white sun that had descended on him. He angled his head up slightly and caught sight of the source of rustling.

Men and women stood before Ruwen, too many to count, and the sound came from them parting as something moved through their ranks toward him.

The man closest to the front had a bow slung across his body and a scabbard hung from his hip. The sheathed sword glowed with blue light and gave his worn leather armor an odd color. He spoke to the approaching white light, and to Ruwen’s shock, the man spoke with Sivart’s voice. “It is good to see you.”

Sivart, and the others turned toward Ruwen, following whatever approached him. His shadow stretched outward like an arrow, directly at the brilliant white light.

Then a familiar voice spoke. One Ruwen hadn’t heard for what felt like an eternity.

“Miss me?” Overlord asked.