Divine Apostasy Book 7 - Chapter 62

Chapter 62

Emotions overwhelmed Ruwen and he couldn’t reply.

You sound odd, Sivart said. Faint.

Ruwen regained control of himself. I’m in a strange place. Stuck here, actually.

A General knows the enemy’s home like their own. Strangeness is a lack of preparation.

Ruwen grinned at hearing Sivart’s verbal scolding. Guilty.

Guilt is an indulgence a leader must sacrifice.

Okay, let’s pause the advice for a minute. Can you come to my location?

After a moment, Sivart replied. I sense your direction, but I cannot find you.

That figures. Listen, I’ve encountered a slight problem and need some help.

What aid do you require?

That’s a good question. Honestly, I don’t know. I’m in a Step trial that has materialized the forces related to my responsibilities. I’ve figured out enlightenment balances those forces.

The solution appears straight forward. Increase your enlightenment.

Well, I just had a big enlightenment, and barely felt the difference. Plus, that’s not something you can just produce. It takes a combination of stuff to happen.

Stuff?

That’s a technical term.

Regarding enlightenment, I practice kadda obviously, and some madda, but I am no Adda.

Wait, what? How do Sift’s parents relate to this?

I am unaware of anyone’s parents.

I’m confused, Sivart. Let’s start over. Maybe with what you think about enlightenment.

As I said, you should speak to an adda for a thorough discussion. Of the five paths, I journey on kadda, and even then, I am not a strict adherent.

Um, what five paths?

One moment, Sivart said. Let me speak to Gita.

No problem, Ruwen said, irritation overcoming the misery his current situation caused. I’ll just hang out until you’ve chatted with your friend.

Ruwen stared into the darkness and tried to nurse the flame of anger at Sivart, but common sense and a high Wisdom didn’t let a fire start and left Ruwen feeling guilty for speaking so sarcastically to Sivart who only wanted to help the best way he knew.

My apologies, Sivart said after a minute. I had assumed you were familiar with the five paths as you spawned Gita from a sacred text on the topic. But Gita informed me Rami gave that scripture to Overlord, to guide his growth.

No problem. Can you explain now?

I have brought Gita to provide a more authoritative source.

Greetings, Brahm.

Hey, Gita. Great to meet you. Sivart says you’re an expert on enlightenment.

I walk four paths, and search for enlightenment in each.

Can you give me a short summary?

Of course. From each of us, four paths extend, like the points of a compass. North is the path of madda, or what you might call action. Opposite this path lies, radda, or knowledge. East points to tadda, which can be called devotion. Finally, the west, and the path of kadda, duty. In the center is padda, the path of meditation.

Ruwen wondered if he was the only one who hadn’t known Madda’s and Padda’s names came from some type of enlightenment religion. And what is an Adda?

A name given to those at the highest points of self-realization. They are masters of the five paths.

Ruwen knew that Madda and Padda weren’t Sift’s parent’s real names, but he hadn’t realized they actually meant something. So Madda Adda meant Action Master and Padda, Meditation Master. Usually, the ignorance Ruwen experienced felt small, but this revelation really impacted him. It made him wonder what other things everyone knew that he remained completely clueless about. Ignorance never felt good.

The word realization in Gita’s explanation triggered the memory of Dusk’s final words and shifted Ruwen’s focus back to the conversation. She’d told him, “No one knows the weight of a word, or a poem, or a life realized.”

What does a life realized mean? Ruwen asked.

Self-realization is the destination of the five paths. It is the act of transforming knowledge into a true identity.

Ruwen paused as Gita’s words twisted around inside his thoughts. Contained in the maelstrom of concepts, a mote of hope appeared. Is self-realization the same as enlightenment?

Enlightenment takes many forms, but the most powerful one is self-realization, Gita said.

Sudden understanding stunned Ruwen, and for a minute, he marveled at the insanely complex nature of both his problems and their solutions. Dusk had glimpsed some part of his internal world from his shadow and had given him the clues necessary to balance his incomprehensible burdens.

How did you balance the responsibility for saving the Universe? It would require more enlightenment than any person could ever hope to generate. More maybe than a hundred people, or even a thousand. But he held millions of constructs in his mind.

Ruwen forced the question out. How can you reach enlightenment?

Gathering knowledge, performing your duties, finding—

No, Ruwen interrupted. I don’t mean in general. I am asking you, Gita. How do you reach enlightenment?

I cannot, Gita said sadly.

The hope Ruwen had tried to keep from his thoughts exploded into a cloud of despair and threatened to destroy his sanity.

Why? Ruwen choked out.

I mentioned before I walk four of the paths. Without the fifth, I have no hope of finding any form of enlightenment.

What path do you lack?

Tadda, the path of devotion.

What does that mean? Ruwen asked in desperation.

Devotion is a path of love. The focus is usually a deity or those close to us.

Why can’t you love? Ruwen asked, before realizing how direct and personal that question was. Wait, you don’t need to answer that.

Gita paused for a few moments. Forgive me for saying this, Brahm, but your creations do not possess the capacity for love.

Confusion replaced some of the hopelessness. Ruwen was no expert on love, but he recognized Overlord’s interest in Uruziel. Overlord had to be experiencing some form of Devotion. I have seen it in Overlord, he told Gita.

Overlord is not one of us. He is a literal piece of you.

What do we have that you don’t? What is keeping you from Devotion?

Ruwen heard the deep sadness in Gita’s voice. We lack free will.