New Story Idea. (Lasor Guns are not Cool)
Added 2022-08-31 06:43:32 +0000 UTCHey Guys,
So we all know with how much I write, I come up with story Ideas here and there. This one was something I came up with recently, and I decided that I would share it all with you. It is another project I have no plans on continuing at this moment, but when I finish one of my other books, I plan to vote on what book you all want me to continue the most. This is another of those Ideas I came up with.
Enjoy it or tell me you hate it. I would love to hear feedback.
Remember that I haven't taken a ton of time to edit this story so far and that I will probably edit some of the details in the future to make it work if it gets voted.
P.S. I couldn't get my mind off this chapter tonight so I just wrote it so I could go back to my other stories. Enjoy!
Lasor Guns are not Cool Chapter 1
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17m-iLjXHEkNYqoNPqlAy1ONOMEPNdYxMSICy72NqaxM/edit?usp=sharing
Lasor Guns are not Cool Chapter 2
https://docs.google.com/document/d/10FaM5RUqfNza8OYcP799E3IUkMs6x5Dieanl_g8iIaE/edit?usp=sharing
Lasor Guns are not Cool Chapter 3
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17duNOsaBQ8l7BD7B644uC_hW03V93r09RId9WXjFMMM/edit?usp=sharing
Lasor Guns are not Cool Chapter 4
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jHDRhcNz4yd8sCi-UriaJ9Lmcr-TUBzV_6e6lFAYwLI/edit?usp=sharing
Comments
Okay cool start now I rant my feedback sorry for that. :D Personally I think chapter 2 and 3 are great very interesting and something I would want to read more about. (I'm really courious about that world now and need more chapters.:D) Chapter one is something I would honestly avoid for the most part. In my option you have the talent to make your MC's seem like an entitled dick in the first chapters of your stories when they are not nearly that bad later on. (compared to most other smut wishfulfillment stories) I mean sure they still are dominants that want others to submit to them. While getting usually blessed with the body that makes it okay for others to do that. But usually the first introducting chapter makes that often feel kinda underserved. Maybe some reflection on what went wrong before the death or the like would work better. (just a suggestion) The other thing that is problematic for these kinds of starts is that it may establishes something about the character that they are really not later on, By the way what is the next or is it first story that you think you finish fully?
Han Pol
2022-08-31 16:47:31 +0000 UTCThis book is everything I want to read in one little package. Nice! 🤤
The Theoritizer
2022-08-31 09:32:50 +0000 UTC
