Doing Business, Part 34

Thirty-Four

Lyndie: Hey! Just checking in. How’s things going with Mommy? Today’s the conference, right? Did she drag you along with her?

It was good to get a text from Lyndie. But I had absolutely no idea how to start explaining this situation to her. She’d hear all about it eventually, so I offered only a teaser:

Me: What if I told you that I was contemplating filling my diaper in a shopping mall to spite a teenage girl?

Lyndie: I don’t know what’s happening, but I really wish I could’ve come on this trip.

Me: Me too.

“Just a few more stores,” Kylie said.

She had only tried the stunt she pulled at Luann’s store one more time, though it didn’t really work as well as it had the first time. She had the department store sales associate lead us to some strollers, before revealing that she wanted a stroller that would fit me–the actual big baby. This woman seemed completely unimpressed and uninterested in whatever game Kylie was playing. And when Kylie went in to give my pants a tug, she found them to be a little tighter this time, and unbudging. The employee walked away, leaving Kylie to look a little foolish.

Kylie hadn’t repeated the little game since, but I could never rule it out. She was probably waiting for me to let my guard down before springing it on me again.

Instead, she was back to just shopping. Spending money. Accumulating more bags, that I was then responsible for carrying.

Meanwhile, as I followed her around, I was contemplating my own little plan. I hadn’t fully committed to it yet, but it felt a little spicier everytime I mulled it over. It would be simple: I’d just release my bowels and fill my diaper. Then, unwilling to either change me or have me follow her around, she’d be forced to take me back to the suite. Her disgust for my smelly diaper would be the icing on the cake.

Of course, this actually required me to, you know, poop my pants. In public. Which, when possible, was something I wanted to avoid at all costs. It was what pushed my little revenge fantasy to the backburner.

“Do you see him?” she asked as we walked, motioning towards a guy reading his phone on a bench.

“What about him?”

“He’s cute.”

Shaggy dark hair. Stained and torn jeans. Worn black Nirvana t-shirt. Is this what passed as ‘hot’ today?

I shrugged, not only uninterested, but unsure why she’d point him out to me in the first place.

“What do you think?” she asked. “Should I go say hi?”

“Are you…confiding in me about a boy?”

She scoffed. “You’re right. I should only confide in you if I see a cute teddy bear on a shelf. That’s more your level of expertise, right?”

I rolled my eyes.

“I’m going to go talk to him.”

“Okay,” I said. “Have fun. I’ll be over here when you’re done.”

“You’re coming with me.”

“What? Why?”

“Because your Mommy will murder me if I lost you.”

I rolled my eyes again. “I’m not, like, an actual infant, you know? I’m older than you are.”

“And which one of us still needs their diapers changed? Just come over here.”

Her hand was on my arm again and she tugged me towards her prey. Maybe I could’ve resisted a little longer, but I had grown accustomed to just following someone when they were leading me.

“Hey,” she said to the guy.

“Hey,” he said, looking up from his phone. Up close, he looked a few years older than he did initially. Older than me, probably.

“What’s up?” she asked, her head tilting while her voice went up an octave. Is this flirting?

She had lazily cast her line, and he was biting. “Not much,” he said, shrugging. “Haven’t see you around here before.”

“I’m just visiting.”

“Cool,” he said. His eyes lit up, happy with that information. “I’m Vic.”

“Kylie,” she responded. “Mind if I sit down here?”

“Yeah, go for it.”

I almost rolled my eyes again, but wasn’t sure how obvious it would be. I let the two potential lovebirds have their conversation while I pulled out my phone to view a new text from Lyndie.

Lyndie: What about last night? You and Mommy have some fun?

I felt myself blushing. ‘Fun’ was a vast understatement.

Me: It was a good time.

In the background, I could hear Kylie and Vic yammering. It baffled me that they had anything to talk about at all.

“...was supposed to meet some friends,” Vic was saying. “But they bailed on me.”

Kylie shrugged. “Well, I’m not doing anything.”

“Who’s that?” he asked, motioning towards me.

She laughed. “He’s not, like, my friend or anything. Just, like, a friend of a friend. I agreed to take him to the mall today.”

Interesting. When she was talking to anyone else, she was more than willing to throw me under the bus and expose me for the diaper-wearing baby I was. But she suddenly seemed to care a little more about how my diapers made her look.

I went back to my phone, seeing a new text.

Lyndie: Yeah, but did she actually let you get off??

Me: Yeah.

Lyndie: Holy shit. She actually took the cage off of you?

Me: Actually…she didn’t take the cage off.

Lyndie: Interesting! God, I need to hear all the details when you get back.

Me: If I don’t share them with you, I’m sure Mommy will.

I had no idea what Vic and Kylie were talking about now. I tuned it out, scrolling through my phone in search of distractions. Occasionally I’d pick up on an exaggerated laugh from Kylie. Her supposed third goal of making out with someone today might actually come true after all.

“I was going to head back to my place,” I heard him say. “Maybe smoke something and watch a movie.”

“You, uh, have your own place?” she asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. If you’re not doing anything and want to swing by later…”

I watched as her eyes swung over towards me. “I should probably drop this one off at home first.”

“Well, like, I could give you two a lift,” he said. “We could drop him off and then take you back to my place for a while?”

“That sounds pretty good to me,” she said. “And if we drop him off, I could grab some liquor too.”

I didn’t actually care what she did. Regardless of the roles we played, we were still adults. Adults who had just graduated high school, and adults who still wore diapers. But…we were adults.

But I found myself a little miffed by this anyway. Mommy had trusted Kylie to be my babysitter today, only for Kylie to want to run off with the first Nirvana shirt she spotted alone on a bench. Also, I still felt like I owed her a little comeuppance for her attempts at causing trouble for me at the mall.

I checked in with my bowels. Online and ready to deploy. It was either now or never.

I bit my lip, going through the pros and cons of going through with this one last time. I could hear Mommy’s voice in my head: “You don’t get to pick and choose when you’re a caregiver. You’re simply there when you’re needed.” I actually wasn’t sure if she had ever said that before or not, but it sounded like something she’d say.

I had made up my mind.

“Actually,” I said, stepping closer to the bench and pulling away Kylie’s attention. “I think we need to get back to the suite soon. I…I don’t think I’m going to make it.”

Kylie’s eyes grew large and steam seemed to come out of her ears. “Wh-what do you mean by that?”

“I think I’m going to…” Deep breath. “...make a poopy in my diaper.”

“Wait,” Vic said, scratching his head. “What did he just say?”

Kylie’s face had gone pale, seeming just as disbelieving as Vic. “Clark, what the hell? Why would you, uh, make a weird joke like that?”

She was trying only to protect herself and remain in Vic’s good graces. It also served as a jumping-off point for me. I didn’t have to go forward with this–I could just back off and only lose a little more of my dignity with people I’d probably never see again anyway.

But, no. Mommy was going to be so proud of me later.

“You said you’d change my diaper if I had an accident, Kylie. And, uhm…it’s about to happen.”

Kylie seemed to have no idea how to handle this situation. First, she turned to Vic: “Look, he’s just joking around and, uh…” Then, she turned back to me: “Don’t… Don’t do that.”

It wasn’t completely clear what that was. For sure, she wanted me to stop talking about diapers and pooping. But I wondered: Did she actually think I’d do it? How much did she think I was actually bluffing in an effort to embarrass her.

“I-I’m sorry, Kylie. It’s too late. I’m…unnnhh…not going to…errhnn…make it…”

I hoped to be, at least, nominated for an acting award for this performance. Though, truth be told, it wasn’t that much of a performance at all. The grunts? My legs widening so that I could squat down? None of that was embellished much–it all needed to happen for me to push this load into my diaper.

With another, slightly exaggerated, grunt, I felt my bottom open up and the sizable mass slide into my diaper. With my pants on, it was probably hard to tell that the backside of my diaper was changing shape and growing heavier as it was filled. But there were more than enough signs that I was actually pooping myself. My grunts and my reddening face, for sure. But the sounds of the diaper itself, too. The tell-tale sputtering and flatulence, and the crackling crinkle of the plastic diaper being stretched to its limits seemed louder than they ever had before. And the diaper’s stench was already forming a cloud around me, set to spread out in every direction possible soon enough.

And I hadn’t just convinced Kylie and Vic of what I had done–others in the area had stopped and watched me, perhaps trying to determine if I was actually doing what they thought I was.

“Goddamnit, Clark,” Kylie said, shaking her head. Her cheeks were scarlet now.

“Look,” Vic said, standing up. “I’m, uh, going to get going.”

“W-wait,” she pleaded. “I can explain. We can still hang out, and we don’t have to, like, bring him. And…”

“I don’t know what’s going on here,” he said pointing to me with one hand while waving the other in front of his nose. “But I think you need to take care of it.”

Then he got up and left.

Kylie jogged after him for a few feet, but gave up quickly. Even if she had caught up to him, there probably wasn’t an easy way to recover any of her own dignity. For one, she’d have to explain why her companion just pooped his pants at the mall. And she barely knew the answer to that for herself.

“I can’t believe you,” she said, marching back to me.

“I…I had to go,” I said. “Sorry.”

“You smell awful.”

“Well, I did just…”

“I know what you did,” she spat. “I just can’t believe that you’d do that here. And now. You’re disgusting.”

“Can we, uh, go back to the suite now?”

“No,” she said. “Fuck no. I’m done playing stupid games with you. I’m not going to sit around with you and your dirty diaper. And I’m sure as hell not going to change you. So congratulations on being the stupid little infant you want to be. Adios.”

“Wait,” I said, calling after her as she began to walk away. “Where are you going?”

“I’m done,” she said. “I’m taking my bags back to my own hotel room.”

“But what about me?”

“What about you? Doesn’t this mall have a place for moms to drop off their babies? Go there and see if they’ll change your diaper and put you down for a nap. Otherwise, you’re on your own.”

I could’ve followed. I didn’t. Much like her and Vic, I wasn’t sure what I could say that would get her to stick around. My increasingly stinky diaper wouldn’t have helped that argument. Also, said diaper would’ve made pursuit quite challenging.

So now she was gone too, and I was left standing by myself in the middle of a strange mall in a strange city, my diaper filled to the brim.

First things first–I needed to get out of there. I waddled as quickly as I could towards an exit. My odor followed me, a toxic cloud that drew everyone’s eyes to me as I passed. I swore I shuffled past a few familiar faces. Was that the girl from the escalator? Was that Luann? One of the women that overheard Kylie’s loud comments on my diapers? Maybe I was just imagining it, but I swore that I could see a glimmer of comprehension on all their faces. A look that said: “Well well well, looks like he actually does need diapers.”

The air of the parking lot–a mix of tar, exhaust fumes and trash cans–was hardly fresh, but it seemed to cut through the noxious fumes wafting off my filthy diaper, and I welcomed it.

Now, how the hell do I get out of here?

I could just call a ride. But that would mean subjecting them to the contents of my diaper for the entirety of the ride. And it wasn’t a close enough walk even if I wasn’t wearing a toilet between my legs.

I needed to tell someone where I was. Lyndie? No, what could she do? Mommy?

She was, no doubt, busy at her conference. Dared I pull her away for that? For this?

But I didn’t know what else to do. I could have, maybe, returned to the mall, found the most discreet bathroom I could and do my best to take off the diaper and clean myself off–even though I didn’t have a spare diaper or even any baby wipes.

It was at this moment that my phone vibrated. The cosmos deciding to throw me a bone: It was Mommy.

Mommy: How are things going with Kylie, baby? She treating you okay?

I sighed, pacing around a mostly deserted part of the parking lot for a few minutes as I debated how to use the lifeline that had been tossed to me.

Really, there was only one option for me: the truth.

Me: Mommy, I’m really sorry, but I think I made a really bad decision.

I waited a moment for a response, but then decided to just start telling her the story anyway. I kept it simple, figuring I could fill in the details later. I told her how Kylie dragged me to the mall. How Kylie met Vic, and had come close to heading back to his place with him. I told her about my decision to mess my diaper–and how Kylie abandoned me almost immediately after.

There wasn’t an immediate response to this text-vomit, and so I continued to pace, growing increasingly nervous about what her reaction would be.

Finally, it came, and I felt my phone vibrating in my tight grip.

Mommy: I see.

Thankfully, she quickly followed this up.

Mommy: To be clear, I’m not mad at YOU, Baby. But I’m not happy about this situation. Where are you now?

I told her where I was. The mall. The specific parking lot. I reiterated that my diaper was in a catastrophic state.

Mommy: I realize that it’ll be embarrassing, but I’m going to have to call you a ride. But I’ll call my driver and explain the situation.

And, just as I was about to ask what to do with my diaper once I did get back to the suite…

Mommy: And, I’ll take care of your diaper soon enough.

The hard parts weren’t over yet–I’d still need to be driven home in my nauseating state. But relief was at least on the horizon. Mommy, as per usual, was there for me to make things right.

The black town car pulled up in a surprisingly short amount of time. It was Joel again, and he stepped out of the car and opened the back door for me. There was already a towel on the seat.

“Your, uh, mother told me about your accident,” he said. “I don’t mean to offend with the towel, but…”

“N-no,” I said. “I get it.”

His use of ‘mother,’ was interesting. I wondered what he thought of our dynamic. Did he see it for what it actually was? Had Mommy filled him in on the need-to-know details? Or was he just completely lost? I certainly wouldn’t have blamed him if it was the latter.

We drove back to the suite with the windows open. Neither of us had much of anything to say–which I preferred.

“Thank you,” I said to him when he dropped me off at the door of the hotel. “I’m…sorry if it smells like me after you leave.”

He shrugged. “When someone tips like your mother, there’s a lot I’m willing to deal with.”

One last hurdle to go: the journey from the lobby back to the suite. And two steps into the lobby, just as I’m starting to sweat again while I try to figure out the path of least exposure, I spot Kylie.

“There you are,” she said, walking towards me.

I let out a confused: “Huh?”

“I was looking for you everywhere in the mall. Where did you run off to?”

I shook my head, as if trying to clear away cobwebs that caused me to misremember the previous hour. “Where did I run off to? Y-you were the one who…”

“I’m sorry I got mad,” she said, shrugging. “But as soon as I walked away, I realized that I had been a little harsh. So, you know, I immediately went back to find you.”

No. No way. I didn’t know Kylie well, but I knew that she wouldn’t have gone back looking for me. And her tone now? The lack of snark or name calling?

She realized she had fucked up. Mommy not only trusted her with me today, but there were things on the line for Kylie. Photos and truth that she could pass along to Gretchen. Kylie had come back only to try and save face.

Too little, too late, I suspected. But I quickly decided I’d let Mommy be the judge, jury, and executioner.

“Come on,” she said. “Lets get you back up to your suite. You, uh, still need your…diaper…changed, right?” The sound of her voice said it all: She was even willing to do the one thing she swore she’d never do to get back into Mommy’s good graces again.

“Mommy said she’d handle it,” I said, as Kylie got us an elevator and escorted me into it.

“Is…Ms. Heller coming back soon?” she asked.

“I think? I’m not sure.”

But when I scanned my keycard to unlock the suite’s door, the very first thing we saw was Mommy, already waiting for us with her arms folded in front of her.

“I’m so glad the two of you are back. Baby? I think you’re overdue for a diaper change. And Kylie? You and I are going to need to have a little conversation when I’m done with him.”

For the second time that day, I saw the color disappear from the supposed queen-bee’s face.