I Just Fucked My Freshman College Roommate - Part 12

Everyone is 18. This is fiction.

So, I got some personal bad news on a school assignment, and it was pretty hard to take. In high school, I always overperformed, but I’m seeing my efforts in college so far have more limited results. I do go to a school full of achievers, so I should give myself a break. But I got feedback on an essay that suggested I just didn’t perform my best. It was hard to read, and I just felt “down”. I guess I’m just telling you all ‘cause you’ve been a super supportive fun group this semester. It’s like I have a million virtual friends in addition to my roommate-boyfriend. Tyler did make me feel better, though.

Tyler and I were facing away from each other at our desks when I read the feedback to him. He walked over to me and hugged me from behind while I sat still. I was truly disheartened, and appreciated him consoling me. I just felt tired. I worked so hard through this first round of midterms and other work and I just find it hard to fathom that straight A’s don’t magically appear when I put in the time and effort. 

Tyler looked up at my screen and tried to lighten the mood. 

“Wow you still got a B+, what’s the big deal?” he said. I chuckled along with him, stood and embraced him, while he held me back.

“I hate this feeling” I said into his shoulder.

“It will pass,” he said.

He did make it seem like less of a big deal. I noticed maybe I was overreacting and just needed some rest and a fresh perspective. I started to feel a little emotional, a combination of the negative feelings I had over my perfectionism and the consistent intimacy I had with Tyler. I’m a little embarrassed to say this but I choked up a little bit. I didn’t really know why at the time but I had to cry a little at this moment and it felt kind of good. Tyler held me tight and just let me do what I needed to do.

After a minute he pushed me back gently, creating a little separation to look into my eyes, and my face began to present a little bit of a smile. I smiled back. I couldn’t yet explain in words what we were sharing at that moment but I felt it as true as any feeling I’d ever had. He was the first one to speak it into existence.

He said “I love you, man… I love you.” And kind of shrugged playfully.

My eyes were still filled with tears, not yet running down my face, but welling up. “Yeah… I know.” I replied, “I love you too. I love you.” I hugged him again and we fell onto the bed behind him. He raised his legs as our bulges swelled and met each other. Even after all the raunchy and kinky sex we’ve had, this was the most “making love” type sex we’ve done. It was passionate and emotional. Heavy. Meaningful.

I’m still in a bit of an emotional place but it’s nice to have a supportive partner in my life. I’m gonna hit the gym and see if I can knock loose some of this anxiety.

I know this isn’t much of a “gone wild” post but it’s my update for today.