A Heroic Night Guard chapter 2: part 1

There were a number of things to remember before attending any kind of job interview. Perhaps one of the more important ones to remember was the importance of presentation. 

Not to say one needed to show up in a suit and tie, but an effort should be made. Clean clothes, showered and groomed… Little things like that.

Which is why Shirou felt distinctly uncomfortable as he walked through the doors to the pizzeria wearing no shoes, sweats, and a t-shirt. 

Inside looked… Well, pretty much like what he expected. Tacky linoleum flooring, dim lighting, cheesy music, with an underlying smell of grease in the air. Further in, he could hear the sounds of children playing and cheering. 

Shirou had to repress a shudder at the feeling of the floor. He was going to need to wash his feet thoroughly after this. If he didn’t have access to a shower, he’d find a nearby stream. 

Shirou was about to head to the front desk when a strong smell of disinfectant washed over him. Turning, he saw a large man wearing a bland uniform stomp over to him. 

“Can I help you?” The man grunted, looking down at Shirou, eyes narrowed with an air of menace about him. 

Janitor perhaps? Probably doubling as security or something. The man was certainly built for it, and Shirou noted the instinctive stance the man got into. He had training. 

Unfortunately, Shirou couldn’t complain about being singled out - already he could see several parents pulling their kids aside while giving him a wide berth.

The woes of looking like a part of the homeless community…

“Yes.” Shirou responded. “I’m looking for a job and heard there was an opening.”

The janitor looked surprised for a bit before looking at him in pity. 

Which… Ouch. Cheeks burning, Shirou very determinedly did not look at his current outfit. Seriously, why did Zelretch have to leave him with nothing?!

“You’ll be wanting to talk to the manager then.” The man grunted with a scowl, turning on his heel. “C’mon, office is just over here.” 

“Thank you.” Shirou immediately followed as they went past the front desk, where a teen was manning the desk (and also giving him a pitying look. Gah, first thing he did, new clothes.) “I assume you’re the janitor, right? What’s your name?” 

The large man gave him a side eye. “Bob.” He replied brusquely. “I clean up ‘round here. Keeps me fairly busy.”

Shirou very carefully did not comment on the grimy and dirty walls, nor the greasy tiles. 

They probably didn’t care as much about this area, since guests wouldn’t come here. The other areas were probably cleaner. 

Hopefully. 

It was only a short walk and two turns before Bob knocked on a door, and the door opened to show a portly man, balding with a small mustache, and a little shorter than Shirou. The shirt he was wearing was… Probably white once(?), but was now a shade of yellow. The scowl on his face transformed into a smile that was practically the personification of the phrase ‘have I got a deal for you’ the moment he spotted Shirou. 

“Well now, how can I help you today, son?” He asked jovially, no sign of irritation on his face. 

“Hello sir, my name is Shirou Emiya,” Shirou introduced. “I’m here about an ad I saw in the paper? For the night guard position?”

If possible, the smile on the man’s face got even brighter. “You’re in luck son, that position is still available! Here,” he grabbed Shirou by the arm and pulled him in.  “Come on and sit down, and we can discuss it.”

The ‘office’ was on the small side. With one wall taken up by a large filing cabinet, the other by a bookcase, it was the definition of the word ‘cramped’. A paper strewn desk sat in the middle, at which the man sat down while gesturing for Shirou to sit as well. 

“Now then, I’m the manager here at Freddy’s, but you can call me Stan.” He introduced cheerfully as he adjusted himself. “So, the night guard, eh? May I ask why that caught your attention?” 

Shirou shrugged, “I need a job, and it’s the first one I saw.” He replied honestly. 

“Well, ‘seek and ye shall find’, that’s always been my motto. Always glad to see people being proactive these days!” Stan guffawed. “We’d love to have you. First, just gotta get a few pesky questions outta the way.” He shuffled a few papers around. “Hmph. Ok, so, got any prior experience in a guard position?” 

Uhm, he was usually acting as overwatch when he was working with the Executors… Then there was that tomb where he had to stand watch to prevent graverobbers or archeologists from accidentally going in and finding an actual Mythic Code… Then there was the time he bargained two months of being Luvia’s bodyguard for access to some texts on Avalon she had…

“Nope,” Shirou shook his head, mentally preparing himself to have to use hypnosis, “I’m afraid I don’t.” 

“Kay, kay, sounds good.” Stan looked… Surprisingly unphased at an untrained person asking for a guard position. “Can you provide any ID? Drivers license, something like that?” 

One set in his luggage under his bed. A fake set in a separate duffel behind a fake panel in his closet, just in case. And a third set back in Fuyuki in a safe house in Fujimura territory. 

“I’m afraid not,” Shirou grimaced. 

Did he use hypnosis now? Or at the end? 

“I see, I see.” Stan nodded thoughtfully. “References? Anybody that knows ya at all?”

All an entire universe away. 

Shirou shook his head, feeling pained. 

Stan tapped the desk with his pencil, giving Shirou a piercing look. Meanwhile, Shirou began to prepare to hypnotize the man, letting the power build up gently as he braced himself. 

The two stayed like that for several seconds before that beaming smile appeared once more on Stan’s face. “Well, that’s good enough for me! How soon can you start?”

Shirou blinked, the power dissipating. “What?”

He hadn’t even attempted hypnosis yet!

“Is tonight too soon? I can walk you through the basics. It ain’t difficult.”

“That’s it?” Shirou asked, feeling completely adrift. 

Stan let out a boisterous laugh. “We here at Freddy’s believe in giving people a chance. Even those down on their luck. And son, that includes you.”

… Had Zelretch already hypnotized the manager? There was no way it was this easy. 

“Now, I can see you’re a bit down on your luck…” the other man mused, giving Shirou a once over, “So how bout I give ya some clothes we got in the back. Employee’s move on to bigger and better things, and sometimes leave stuff behind. We’ll take it outta your first paycheck.”

Zelretch had to have. There was no way it was this easy. It was that, or he was walking into a trap. 

“You probly don’t have a place to stay or anything,” Stan mused thoughtfully, “So tell you what. After your first shift come see me and I’ll see about giving you some of your first paycheck upfront. Help ya get settled. That sound alright to ya?”

Shirou blinked in confusion. What exactly was this? “Do, uh, I need to sign anything?” Shirou managed to ask. 

Stan shrugged. “Normally? Yeah, but I’ll be honest with ya Shirou. Without any sorta ID, that’s just gonna lead to a lotta pain on both our sides. Better we settle this under the table, ya hear?” 

That was actually the one bit that truly did make sense to Shirou. 

“So, got any questions for me?” Stan asked with an expectant look. 

Shirou looked around for a bit, still feeling distinctly unsettled. This was going way too well. Things never went this well unless he was being led into a trap. And then after the fact Rin would end up berating him on how stupid it was. But at the moment, for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out where the trap was. 

In the end, Shirou sighed and just accepted that whatever was going to happen would happen. He’d just have to be prepared for when things actually did crash and burn. “The ad said from twelve to six, right?”

“Of course!” Stan gave him another beaming smile. “Now, if that’s all let’s go check out those clothes, see if there’s any that’ll fit ya.”

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Later on, looking through the bags of clothing, Shirou couldn't help but notice the number of abandoned clothes that had holes in them. Especially the ones that had a distinct tear that, by Shirou's eye, was caused by some kind of sickle or hook.

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Author's Note
Man, Stan's such a nice guy, isn't he? Sure, they've all got holes in em. But you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, yeah? ;)  

Anyways, this is just part 1. It doesn't feel right to declare Chapter 2 complete until Stan gives Shirou the tour and explain what his job is. This also includes meeting the gang!

Also, it should be noted: I know a couple people have stated that Shirou could easily wipe the floor with any of the animatronics. And it's true! But the thing is, there's two things stopping him. 1) It's against the rules to hurt the animatronics. Damage of the animatronics is grounds for firing. Which means Shirou wouldn't be able to investigate. And, more importantly, 2) After what he's been through... Shirou doesn't see the animatronics as threats.

This was never intended to be a fighting fic. Save for a couple scenes, it'll mostly be Shirou dancing around the animatronics, with the animatronics being very very confused, all while Shirou is trying to uncover the truth. That was my intention :)