Penny Tests a Theory (Big Bang Theory)

A/N: Patron request by Son Wukong

Summary: Sometimes Sheldon needs to shut up, and when nothing else works, Penny decides to try something that never failed. Make Sheldon lose the ability to form words by giving him the best head he would ever get.

Penny often wondered why she bothered to try and talk to Sheldon. When she first saw him, he somehow seemed the most normal of the geeky new neighbors, but boy was she wrong there. Sheldon must have been quiet because he was probably annoyed at having a strange woman intruding in his space… or he could have been laughing at Leonard making a fool of himself trying to impress her.

She still wasn’t sure how it went from that to Sheldon trying to break into her apartment to clean it for her. In a way, it was very sweet of him to do so, but in a more significant way, it was creepy as hell. Penny would laugh it off if Sheldon was a kid, but he was a grown-ass man, even if he was a very peculiar grown-ass man.

“Penny!”

Penny sighed and walked to the door to see what he wanted now.

“Penny!”

She swung the door open to see Sheldon in all of his gangly glory with his fist raised to knock on her door.

“Hello, Sheldon. What is it now?”

Sheldon looked at Penny glaring at him, then at the open door before reaching past her head to knock on the door again. He quickly pulled back his arm when Penny’s eye twitched in irritation in case she used her man hands to wrangle him in submission. Her cornhusker heritage gave the blonde an advantage in those kinds of things. Sheldon didn’t consider his Texas roots relevant since he knew it was beneath him, he had transcended basic human thinking anyway.

“I have considered your apartment’s layout and created the optimal route to clean it. There are some variables your inherent sloppiness will exacerbate, so I also included alternate….”

Penny zoned out while the words spewed out of Sheldon’s mouth. She still couldn’t believe that she thought this man was somewhat cute in a nerdy way in the beginning. Sheldon’s attractiveness disappeared when he opened his mouth and ruined it by speaking. Still, he was harmless and tried to be helpful in his own way, even if that way happened to drive Penny crazy.

“Penny? Are you thinking about boots again? From the state of your bills, your money would be better spent paying for utilities.”

Penny narrowed her eyes at the man insulting her money management for the umpteenth time. “Sheldon, what did I say about commenting on how I spend my money?”

Sheldon took a step back when he remembered Penny threatening his precious collectibles but still couldn’t help himself from giving her advice. “Penny, if you’d just listen to me, I’m sure you’ll find it helpful to your overly chaotic life.”

Penny stared at Sheldon blankly and wondered how she could get him to shut up. She didn’t want to hurt him since he was technically trying to be a good friend, but Penny knew she might murder Sheldon if this kept happening. The things she did with others probably wouldn’t work with Sheldon. Penny had a feeling that she would get another rant from Sheldon about how illogical she was… but now that she thought about it, there might be one thing that could shut Sheldon up.

The genius might claim to be above primitive emotions like sexual urges, but Penny had seen his eyes go over her curves like he was trying to memorize the sight for later use. She amused herself by imagining Sheldon stroking his cock in the privacy of his bedroom while thinking of her. Penny knew it was unlikely, but there could be a chance it happened. After all, she knew how attractive she was.

Penny was now wondering if she should do something she knew she was great at. Threatening Sheldon might not work, and neither did trying to reason with him, but surely he has the same fundamental weaknesses as any other man. The weakness being his cock, and a hot blonde slurping him to completion. Penny bet that Sheldon wouldn’t dare try to lecture her while she sucked the cum out of his balls. The only question was if she was willing to do it.

Penny still had a bottom line no matter how promiscuous Sheldon thought she was. Sheldon wasn’t ugly, so that wasn’t the problem, but she wasn’t a girl that gave blowjobs to an unwilling man. That was screamed far too much like desperation and harassment, even though it generally wasn’t thought of that way by most people.

“Penny, perhaps you are unsuccessful in your endeavors due to your short attention span.”

Screw it. Penny would give this boy the best head he would ever get. She hesitated for a few seconds about when to do it before realizing Sheldon would keep his body clean no matter what part of the day it was.

Sheldon yelped in shock when Penny grabbed his shirt and pulled him into her apartment before slamming the door shut.

“Unhand me, woman! Take your paws off me!”

Penny pushed Sheldon against the closed door and warned him, “If you don’t shut your pie hole, I’ll make you regret it. Got it, moonpie?”

Sheldon backed into the door and automatically said, “Only meemaw calls me moonpie.”

Penny’s lips twitched from holding back a smile as she slid down to her knees. It was unfair to ask Sheldon to keep quiet when she called him moonpie, but Penny now just wanted an excuse to test her theory. Would the man claiming to be the next evolution of humanity fall to her dick-sucking skills.

Sheldon was frozen in shock and had nowhere to go, and a small part of him didn’t want to go anywhere. Penny was, after all, the female specimen that wreaked havoc on his friend group and made most of them into drooling primates with her presence. As much as Sheldon wished it wasn’t true, he too was occasionally under the effect of Penny’s presence.

And right now, Penny had her face dangerously close to his pelvic region and was paying far too much attention to his crotch. Plus, her attire only consisted of skimpy night clothes since Sheldon had knocked on her door bright and early in the morning. The view down her top made it difficult for Sheldon to keep the blood from flowing into his manhood.

“Penny! Let’s not be hasty. I may have hurt your feelings with my honesty, but I only tell the truth even if I did. For example…”

Sheldon’s words were cut off by a strangled gasp when Penny unzipped his pants and snaked her hand inside to wrap around his cock.

“Oh my god, Sheldon… this is wasted on you.”

Penny’s goal right now wasn’t to find a cock that could rock her world. In fact, she expected something opposite from the way Sheldon looked and acted. The hardening shaft in her hand proved her wrong. It might be the most perfect-looking cock Penny had seen in her life. The veins that started from the base of his shaft pulsed in a way that made her want to lick it, and the angry cockhead was leaking fluid that honestly smelled appetizing. Maybe the obsessive cleanliness and good diet had some positives that Penny should consider for her future hookups.

“Excuse me, Penny,” Sheldon said in an offended tone, “I am the epitome of perfection. There is no such thing as something wasted on me.”

Penny wondered if Sheldon had forgotten that he had a hot blonde on her knees with his cock in her hand. That’s alright. Penny would soon make him forget his name, let alone find the brain power to lecture her.

Penny’s other hand joined in stroking Sheldon’s thick cock as she gave him a testing lick, delighted that his precum tasted much better than most others.

“OH MY!”

Penny snickered at Sheldon’s reaction before kissing his cockhead briefly and filling her mouth with his dick. She suckled on the tip leisurely for a few seconds before getting to what made men lose their minds. Sheldon’s cock wasn’t going to be easy to throat, but Penny wasn’t one to give up simply because it was too big.

GLACKH

“DEAR LORD WOMAN!”

Penny smiled around the base of Sheldon’s cock as she nuzzled her nose into his crotch. It was a surprise that he was cleanly shaven, but it shouldn’t have been with his distinct grooming habits. Penny usually liked a little hair on her man, but Sheldon’s beautiful cock would be marred by anything blocking it.

She kept his cock sheathed down her throat for a few minutes while occasionally licking at his balls by extending her tongue out of her stuffed mouth. Hearing Sheldon gasp wordlessly was a treat since it let Penny know she had got him to finally shut up.

When Penny felt satisfied that she had let Sheldon experience her tight throat massage his cock, she slowly pulled back to let it pop out of her mouth. Penny looked up at him with a smile as she stroked his thick cock with both hands and spread the built-up saliva all over his shaft. Penny had wondered if Sheldon would freak out and run away when he saw how much of her spit was on his cock, but all he did was breathe heavier while staring open-mouthed at her actions.

Penny figured that most of Sheldon’s hangups disappeared when the germs he despised resulted from his cock digging it out of a hot girl’s throat.

“So, Sheldon,” Penny asked while furiously pumping his cock, “Are you going to talk about how I spend my money again?”

She could see the veins pop out of his forehead as he struggled to fight against his base instinct. Penny figured he knew she would stop immediately if she didn’t get the answer she was looking for.

“N-No,” Sheldon’s face started twitching, “I shall keep my helpful opinions to myself.”

Penny knew that tick meant he was lying, but this would be a work in progress. They would take another baby step next time.

“Good!” Penny gave him a blinding smile that was ruined by the mess of spit on her chin. She decided to give the poor man what he wanted.

GLACKH GLURKH GLACKH GLACKH

Penny didn’t bother to go slow and savor Sheldon’s cock like she wanted to and immediately used her face like a fuckhole. With no encouragement from Sheldon, Penny hugged his hips and fucked her face repeatedly on his cock. She let his cock drill into her throat over and over, even when she started to gag around his shaft. Penny had almost forgotten how it felt to gag around a cock, and it was oddly pleasing to feel something new while throating a cock.

Sheldon’s hips softly hit the door behind him since Penny was so forceful in servicing his cock. He had never thought there would be a day when their blonde neighbor would willingly debase herself just to keep him quiet. Sheldon wasn’t stupid and knew he was annoying Penny with his constant remarks, and he certainly knew that this was a consequence of those remarks. Sheldon thought this activity would be something he would abhor, but watching his beautiful blonde… friend? Yes, friend was the right word. Watching her furiously throat herself for his pleasure made Sheldon feel things he never knew existed.

And now that he felt these feelings, Sheldon had no intention of living without them again. He grunted softly when Penny hilted his cock again but kept it seated this time. This woman truly knew how his body worked better than him. After Penny did that, Sheldon could feel his ejaculate fighting to be released.

Penny’s eyes widened for a second when Sheldon grabbed her head to keep his cock lodged in her throat. She then smiled and continued to rapidly swallow to draw out the cum she could feel ready to blow down her stuffed throat.

Sheldon let out a loud groan and pumped his hips lightly to try and futilely cram more dick past Penny’s stretched lips before blowing his load into the blonde. Penny didn’t miss a beat and swallowed everything he had to give, never letting any shot escape her hungry stomach. Even after Sheldon was utterly spent, Penny didn’t immediately let go and slowly sucked her way up his cock before finally allowing it to pop out her mouth.

With one last squeeze to his empty balls, Penny swallowed the cum lining her throat and said with a hoarse voice, “Not bad, moonpie. You have potential.”

When Sheldon just looked at her with an open mouth, Penny smiled in success. If that didn’t make him say anything, her thinking was correct. A good throating would shut him up. Besides, Penny wouldn’t mind sucking on Sheldon’s beautiful cock once in a while to make it happen again.

When a disheveled Sheldon stumbled out of Penny’s apartment, his three friends were all standing there gaping at him.

There was an awkward silence before Leonard broke it with a shaky voice, “S-Sheldon, you want to catch me up?”

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