84 - A Salty Valentine's

arab parents finding arab restaurants anywhere and everywhr e in the world is SO REAL

salmaa

Hamzah complaining about getting no hoes as if he doesn’t have 300k people thirsting after him is crazy (I am one of these people)

Grace

Hamzah in his glasses is my bias

Ashley Endean

nothing better than listening to the podcast while running #motivation ‼️

Susana

ever since subbing to ur patreon im addicted to cleaning my kitchen. something abt that sweetiepie voice just makes me bust out the all purpose cleaner! thanks a bunch hamzah

eloise heeks

thank you for the episode!! Loved it!! I dont trust anybody that soft launches as an adult.

Ony

i love getting high & playing this podcast

sage

hamzah what do you think about chicago i’m curious since u grew up in illinois

Valerie

i also hate soft launching like you said we are adults!! pls just post ur boo on valentine’s day on ur story if you aren’t together the next month you don’t gotta worry

Harley

is Madison beer in here? 🧿🧿🧿taxes will be paid off in no time

Kenz

How do I change my profile picture u can’t tell I’m a hot and sexi girl💔 only panda

Noor M

i downloaded patreon just to sub lmao

Erin Kopatich

hamzah ur so goated thanks for always making me smile haha love u lol jk that would be weird right, my gf typed this btw maybe lol ok bye

Jessie Amador

just subbed i’m watching this as i play minecraft

cat

Subbing for a year here was the best investment ever

Rim Elnabouche

I may have mild contamination ocd but pls wash ur new clothes unless u know exactly how and where they were made it’s v unlikely that they’re cleaned after they’re finished & ready for sale

A

literally just subscribed to your patreon to support your stance on not washing brand new clothes.

Hamzah I come here from youtube to vindicate you, i have never in my life heard of washing brand new clothes from the store. u were being gaslit and i stand with you

ruby larue

Relapsed on out of character patreon. I thought I was done here.

fargo

Come to new orleans i think you would really enjoy the second lines and insane encounters

Kyle Vaccaro

unfortunately i am not ur charlize 😔😔 but i can be ur charlize #2… 😂😋❤️

charlize

MARTIN PLEASE WE NEED MORE MUSIC ON 2006WR PLEASE ITS THE BEST MUSIC IVE EVER HEARD 🖤🖤🖤😭😭😭😭

Landri Skye

just subscribed for the first time yall im about to binge

chelsea cañas

CHARLIZE IS IT U???? ITS DANIELLE ME AND MY SISTER MAI SHARE THS ACCOUNT. ARE U MY CHARLIZE OR SOMEONE ELSE????? OMG

maiquinkledanielle

U should come here to LA 2 do a show :-))

😋🐛

hello hamzah 🤞🏼

Leah M

real

Soobination

Saw some guy post his girl on his close friends for Valentine’s Day…

Sofia Camille

if my s/o soft launched me on valentine's day, i'd cry and throw up but knowing me i'd keep it to myself and still stay

hia

quotes of the pod: “i’m just a little girl at the end of the day” & “we will all eat bugs” 👍

Marty

was watching some previous podcast eps and had to come back to let you know I’m manifesting a relationship for you as well for your sake bc dear god😭 (i can’t talk shit tho ur so real)

chelsie

oh that’s not—

Kim Sanchez

the glasses. no hat. the outside lighting. god bless🙏🏻

Abby

You’re SO real for the clip part on TikTok ! I literally subscribed for the Patreon bc of TikTok clips

Allison

2026 will be the year of the slushy noobz US tour i’m affirming it 🙏🏾 come to the south when you do pls we need entertainment

madison ♡

this was a good one king

madison ♡

Brushing your teeth is just a practice created by the medical industrial complex so u can eat toothpaste everyday which carries meth so u slowly micro dose meth get sick and go on life support n get tube fed gogurt n apple sauce which makes them millions so don’t brush your teeth unless you wanna die but that’s just me tbh

JohnDoe

Soft launching their SO like they’re puzzle pieces 😭

metaversebitch

LMAOO I REMEMBER THIS I WAS DYING honestly it was better than what he wanted to say

saaf

Finally subscribed to the patreon again. My dad stopped my subscription in 2022 and I am finally wealthy enough to afford it on my own😍😍😍😍

McKenna Lenz

Love u hammy

Liv

u are NOT. a little girl. u are a grown ass man😒

sharifa

Where’s my credit for the tiktok Hamzah🙆‍♀️

meyuh

me personally im wishing them folk HELL

asmaa

Glasses are 😍😍😍😍😍

Lelepons1738

the paintings in the back are becoming more and more disheveled

Darya

as someone who hasn’t done their taxes in three years you just inspired me😭

karina

a lady sniffed my braid at a Florida beach in awe and then another time a man gave me a sermon about islam and said I shouldn't judge him after I told him to not touch my friend all while I was trying to munch on a beach torta. Steer clear from clearwater beach when they give you the golden ticket to the land of da free (my advice segment 2 u)

Peanus butter

Where are the pants from🤬

Kaylen

Hey can you and Martin play until dawn or another decision based game please-Shush

Ishai Pegues

live pod was so much fun listening to this rn while playing fortnite

Ali Malik

It’s okay Hamzah you have 100k hoes on YouTube

ravi

Ven a México carnal 🇲🇽♥️

Dia

discord friend analogy 😭😭

manamejeff

just watched the fly and can’t stop thinking about how much hamzah looks like 80s jeff goldblum (this is a compliment)

lydia

microwave… with the aluminum .. and haven’t caused a massive fire explosion ?

sierra

literally, he’ll be talking about the most controversial person too

stoup_

Also add spf to your skincare routine

Megan Lewis

Woohoo 🙌🏻 i love three ways

Megan Lewis

happy valentines

ella

come to new zealand 🙏🙏🙏

ella

I’m at work I needed this so bad thank you I can’t wait

Kenz

you ever need me to teach you how to read…one on one… let me know <33 xx

shadia

SAME. I WAS TRYING TO DISSASOCIATE SO I WOULDNT LAUGH I WAS SO CLOSE TO THE CAMERA 😭

You probably are dyslexic. I have a bunch of friends that are dyslexic and they read in a similar manner.

iguessitsleanne

lol seriously of ALL places in Illinois

chelsie

5 stars for the pants & socks this episode

A

fuck a dinner , lets play minecraft and sims 4 withs mandys mods

Gizelle M

Roblox kink

Gizelle M

Big fan of your Invisalign lisp and the way you mumble and slur your words, don't ever change

ponnie

it looks so good! and u guys have fassolia! it’s so hard to find outside cyprus!

Althea

okay celibate era 🥳

♡ bunny ♡

no one is a real fucking lover anymore bc wdym soft launching on the most romantic day of the year??

Tavia

Omg Walmart girl here. Thank you for advice 🤓❤️

Roxy

wakanda illinois

karina

december of 2025 i’m expecting both of you in jersey for my birthday 🙏🏼

karina

the story of martin being hit on is so funny for some reason not because i don’t think he would but because i can just imagine him telling mandy so proudly that he shot down a girls advances for her 😭😭😭😭😭

karina

Dude don’t stress. I’ve ingested so much red dye 40, micro plastic, and aluminum that I should be in a nursing home right now, plus it always calms me down to think about how my 80+ year old family members have smoked 8 packs of cigarettes a day since they were like 4 and they are more active than I am :)

iguessitsleanne

Aban kitchen the restaurant my dad opened

Hamzah Al-Emad

u be wishing everyone the best

asmaa

YESSS i literally thought like somehow the audio would mess up the podcast for youtube so i was holding in my laugh for like the first 5 minutes 😭😭😭

karina

FR 🥹 im so happy for him

Lydia

great advice this week!

coffreak

hamzah is so sexy with glasses

sami morales

Hamzah i love the glasses, please keep this up.

Gozalyn

the glasses make you look like my handsome professor i’m getting nervous

roro

I had to put this on 2x pls talk faster i beg

bowl of pho

Aw hell nawh the dave doubles got his ass

Paige 🫧

didn’t know every single soul was boo’d up this year too… reported everybody 🙏💯

adeliya

33:41 hamzah I can fix this for you

Chloe

i am so excited for the three way on sunday yipee!!

charlize

LMFAO it still trips me up bruh

familyguyandablunt

going to carbondale for the eclipse!! any reqs of things to do there?

Althea

thank u hamzah for all the work u do, martin too, you guys make me so happy 🫶🏻

michaela

glasses looking cutesy as always

chloe

i feel u… i’ve just had to pay for a few months of bills i’ve avoided to pay until now 😂😂🙏 (i need help)

charlize

i started cramping while listening to this i’m in hell

annabelle

anytime you mention Carbondale it just seems like witness protection level fake lore, as someone from central IL

chelsie

i cannot escape the anorexic kpop stans for the life of me

familyguyandablunt

im going to jump off a bed like a little monkey with ease and grace and think about how you can not do that

familyguyandablunt

i am mostly likely going to be a mom by the time yall do shows in the US

hia

drake's member saves the day yet again

hia

Also im going to the human concern international event tonight and im 100% letting them know about you guys

Hi bae

Chloe

You said “I don’t know what connection they made between us and the homeless” 😭

congrats on 100k slusher🥳

mowa

Was so happy we got an episode and then got even more happy we got a glasses episode 🤩

Sofia Camille

wow...subtle product placement u got there

hia

😭 also the problem was I wasn’t even sure if we could laugh during the live cause I was scared we weren’t allowed so I think that’s why ppl were quiet in the beginning I feel like

Hello hamzah i Love you. happy day

skyler 🍎

He can say ebb and flow but couldn’t say door …. Yeah it’s dementia.

i once put aluminum in my microwave and it started a fire

hia

Awww

Ethan

50 comments in 15 mins is crazy when did the Patreon blow up like this

Lina

It’s so cute to me that Hamzah is going on Martin’s family vacation….brothers fr

belbel

i’ve been watching the patreon eps for the past few days and the amount you talk about caffeine pills is inspiring.

Gabrielle

🙉🙉 splendid

annabelle

hamburger

Andi

please come to the uk 🙏🙏 the brits need saving

charlize

you look so yummy with glasses. keep.them.on.😂😂😂

khalia

he’s been looking good!

khalia

hamzah you look so cute with glasses… i am also a glasses wearer nerds unite 🤓☝🏻

charlize

the ppl walking past the window is so funny to me

kenna

those little tooth stick things work more as toothpicks than floss. you need regular string floss or a water floss

greenpants

hi anna spach

charlize

omg hiii i promise im not ur opp i’m a nice girl i promise 😢🐒

charlize

Also Hamzah why do you talk about caffeine like ur a hooked nitty who cant put a cup of coffee down

Elliot Padams

"actually giving me dementia like actually" ruh roh escooby doo so bad

kat

you’re starting to look too good lately😣😣

Danielle

thank you i needed a video to watch with my lunch

Galilea

no bc also getting told that i am not flossing enough when I DO after every stinking meal was nauseating 💔💔💔💔

mylfril

oops…i seemed to have dropped my out of character merchandise on this chair here😅

hes just a little girl who wants some comfy pants and a little drink 😞💔

michaela

Its a crime that you dont have a valentine

Izabelle Tewolde

missed you pookie

wafaa

been waitin for this shittttt

kenna

how did the frames on the wall get messed up again help

Janie

when a new podcast drops just when u tryna get some shit done 🔥🔥🔥

asmaa

yo ur the one on tiktok that i get scared of every time u comment LMFAOOOO

annabelle

happy late valentine’s day everyone

jackie rodriguez

the glasses r a move btw

michaela

i was going to sleep but ig not

elene

I love the glasses

Reggie

happy belated valentine’s day do u want to share a bag of m&m’s i will send it to ur PO box

charlize

Loving the glasses hamzah

sophia dabu

Hamzah please wear glasses every day ever

sydney kerouac

omg I love you hammoud. cant wait to sleep to this

Elliot Padams

The merch laying out 😭

Abby

ciao hamzah

debora deb

Hiding airpods under my hijaab to listen to the new episode during work rn

Soma

2x speed is needed with this one

shadia

taking off my ankle monitor to go outside and watch this

annabelle

i ❤️ having 5$ a month for this

Mailleux Chloe

hamzah im getting my hair done rn

carrington

thank u hamzah

Jaelyn Fletes

oh my god you finally wore glasses

Carla

just as i made food🙏🏽🙏🏽

freeicespice2024

York was beautiful. Thank you hamzah.

Victoria Jonathan

Winning ‼️

AM

I’m so early

AM