Frustration

From my tumblr

If you’re concerned about me or my art please read.

I’ve been slowly and slowly losing more and more from Patreon each month and I want to kinda go over it a bit because i’m really upset over it.

As of this month i’ve not reached my minimum goal to pay for my internet and toward food. It was 120. It’s kind of shocking to me because I thought I had been doing pretty good at getting out art. I kept up with the schedule for HPP when I was doing it. And now i’m still steadily doing art and requests etc. But i’ve been still slowly declining in Patreon support.

Patreon isn’t my biggest source of income, but it’s still a significant part of it. So it’s really upsetting when each couple months you’re getting less and less.

Patreon has this thing where you can see why certain people stop pledging to your page. And I can see why people would stop if their financial situation has changed (The majority of reasons are this.)

But I see a couple that kinda hurt me personally, even though I know they shouldn’t. There are specific reasons such as me not doing HPP anymore, which I get even if it still sucks. There’s one that just says they would rather support a different artist than me, which I’m fine with but once again, it really sucks and hurts.

Then there’s a couple which say I haven’t done what they’ve pledged for which are completely outrageous. I’ve consistently made sure to get the HPP updates out on schedule, AS WELL as messaging the Patrons that I need to do a sketch for, every month. There are times were I cannot get in contact with one or two patrons because they never respond, which I really hate to say it but is on them. So to say that I haven’t delivered is insulting to me.

Back when I would do 4 exclusive images a month was when I was at my peak in support, now I’m doing much much more art but receiving 1/3 as much.

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know what people want from me. I don’t know how to grow my patreon. I don’t even know how to grow my blog as a whole or my presence as an artist and I really really hate it and it’s getting to me. I’m taking character requests, hoping that I can find anything to gain more relevancy.

Maybe things will be better when I’m out of this place and don’t have to deal with all this stress at home. But I don’t know.

I’ve spent no more than 60$ on food for the past couple months. 60. There have been days where I literally eat just peanut butter so i’m not starving. I understand that I can spend more and it’s on me but I really REALLY need to get out of my current living situation. I’ve posted about it a couple times but the more I stay here the worse it gets for my mental health.

I’ve been thinking of increase base character prices of my commissions from 15 to 20 but I really really worry that people will stop commissioning me at some point if it gets too high… and that’s terrifying to me.