One Piece - Halfway Broken (48-52)
Added 2024-11-09 11:06:27 +0000 UTCWhew! Sorry this wasn't out last night, folks. Part of it was just that I had multiple appointments for medical tests yesterday (routine stuff for existing conditions, nothing scary). The rest of it, though, was the fact that I'd forgotten I wanted to do an extra document/chapter with the Crew's post-Skypiea stats. We haven't seen some of their stat blocks since before the entered the Grand Line, and I somehow neglected to show Chopper's at all. I didn't want to shove them all inside the story at this point, though. So this time I worked it up as a separate PDF you can check out if you want to see how they've grown. It's attached with the rest of the files.
As for the story itself, this update is over 18,000 words! I'm quite thoroughly pleased with it, as well. There's a bit of set up for Robin, a MAJOR development for the Discovery. Multiple of them, actually. Plus one of the largest divergences from canon as the crew head off to visit another Sky Island. The first time I'm really doing a properly original island, as it happens. More of those will start to creep into the story as the building canon divergence forces us away from the original route the crew took. Hopefully, people end up liking my first foray into one such island, though its only introduced in these chapters. The actual events I have planned for the island will be in the next update.
As always, the new bits are attached here in PDF, EPub, and Docx forms. I will also be updating the Master Files in the Pinned Post shortly. There are also going to be a fair few authors notes this time, down in the comments, once I have time to actually write them ;-).
P.S. The image is an AI generation by an unknown person. I choose to make a vaguely censored version as the main image, followed by the uncensored version, in order to keep boobs from popping up on people's feeds in public ;-). Not a perfect solution, but the best I've come up with, since Patreon doesn't have spoiler tags or anything similar.
Comments
Was just rereading, and I know this is too late since Pagaya has already joined, but I have a few issues and comments (you are free to ignore them!). One of the Shandia had to have been a Dial Engineer since they all had Dial powered weapons and I don’t think this was due to them stealing from the Skypieans. Kamakiri specifically could have been made to be the dial engineer, and since he is 22, is kind to Raki and Aisa, one of the strongest Shandia warriors, and has a fighting style that the crew doesn’t have yet (a spear), he would have been a pretty good fit. But he would also have been hard to convince (although not impossible) since he seems close to Wyper, Zheng’s and Braham so perhaps that is why you didn’t go that route. I am only commenting on this because although I really like the backstory and motivations you gave Pagaya, I am worried that at 52 he only has about 10 years (if that) before his strength declines. And while he was not picked as a fighter, it still drastically reduces his potential. Even Jimbe at 44 would be a little problematic if he wasn’t already such a powerhouse and master helmsman. He still has the possibility for growth at that age if you wanted to do so, even if he doesn’t really need it. Being a fishman probably also positively affects his strength retention as he ages. Anyway, obviously this is only a problem in the long-term (after Oda’s story timeline ends), but Luffy should still keep in mind that he will probably be sailing the seas all his life it he wants to discover all there is to see. This means that when Luffy is 45 for example, Pagaya will be 80 years old. I think what also bothers me is that Usopp and Luffy are great at engineering too. Which means that while Pagaya is really useful right now, Luffy and Usopp will slowly learn how to dial engineer as well as time goes on which will decrease Pagaya’s usefulness. A solution to that could have been that Pagaya goes to Alabasta to help arm the country to protect them from the World Government as that should fit with his wish of redemption. He could have been a consultant for the Stawhats while Usopp regularly visits Alabasta to learn from him as a student until he becomes as skilled as he is (would take a few years, maybe 5?, but Usopp has enormous talent for that kind of stuff so despite Pagaya’s incredibly impressive 112 skill in Dial Engineering, I believe Usopp could eventually reach that level if he focused on it seriously). Anyway, since Pagaya has joined, obviously improving his sky combat is going to happen, but maybe an emphasis on his weaponry and perhaps armour would help prevent him from being a liability in the future.
Camille Favre
2025-05-01 22:52:56 +0000 UTCSell done sailor! Fewer grammar nazi scum will assail the completed work on account of your efforts! (Master Files Updated)
Novus Peregrine
2024-12-03 13:32:59 +0000 UTCCaptain! Reporting for duty sir! One Piece HB Chapter 48 page 1 It was then that a little "details" Luffy hadn't... Correction: It was then that a little "detail" Luffy hadn't... Page 3: One is in relation to "that" recruiting Correction: One is in relation to recruiting. (Seems to read a little more smoothly in my reading opinion.) Page 6: He could "self" the feeling of conflict in her.... Correction: He could "sense" the feeling of conflict... Chapter 49 Page 11: ...while the ever-unflappable Robin was "retraining" herself... Correction: Robin was "restraining" herself... Chapter 50 Page 18: ...the storm it could call down if "he" they didn't. Correction: ...the storm it could call down if they didn't. Chapter 51 Page 20: ...that the winds naturally carried them "too" over time. Correction: carried them "to" over time. Page 21: ...mitigate the risk by carrying "a" an octoballoon. Correction: carrying an octoballoon. Page 22: Careful with "this" sides... Correction: Careful with "the" sides... Pagaya, however, "and" quietly informed them... Correction: Pagaya, however, "had" quietly informed them... Chapter 52 Page 27: ...and a "quite" 'damnnnn' from Nami... Correction: ...and a "quiet" 'damnnnn' from Nami... Page 28: ...,originally towards "and" bookshop that both were... Correction: ...,originally towards "a" bookshop that both were... This portion of my mission...accomplished sir!
The Foreign Traveler
2024-11-27 09:26:24 +0000 UTCWell looking forward to your take on it. I like the fact that everyone is also picking up and becoming more skilled in general. Like Zoro learning about ship maintenance etc.
Jaideep
2024-11-11 06:04:08 +0000 UTCA little of Column A, a little of Column B. I'm intending to replace the timeskip with visits to both original and existing islands. Some of which are ones they visited individually, rather than together, during the timeskip.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-10 23:46:44 +0000 UTCNope. As Mr Fox said, Tashigi is basically a non-entity in this fic. You must be mentally mixing it with another :-).
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-10 23:44:46 +0000 UTCNo she didn't tashigi isn't even really a character in this
Mr Fox
2024-11-10 19:09:50 +0000 UTCMaybe I'm reading too many different stories and misremembered but didn't Tashigi join along with Hina? I didn't see her mentioned at all this chapter even when bringing up people who would be against injustice on the crew.
Christopher Ozouf
2024-11-10 17:28:20 +0000 UTCPretty much for anyone who wants to avoid massive issues with the world government is to avoid water 7 and everything connected to it. The next big clusterfuck flashpoint will be Sabaody. BTW do you plan on them chilling for a bit to train up some more or extend their journey so they can add training time in between.
Jaideep
2024-11-10 16:50:14 +0000 UTCYep. Which was/is entirely intentional. This Luffy knows what a complete power keg/death trap Water 7 is and spent a LOT of time and effort making sure he didn't need to go there. The fact that he actually enjoyed it was just a bonus.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-10 13:34:46 +0000 UTCYou're hardly the first one :-p. Always confuses me, since I mention it in every release post. But I've had, like, a dozen people not realize it was there. One of them twice, somehow.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-10 13:33:10 +0000 UTCAh thanks, missed that!
Rhyalys
2024-11-10 10:34:07 +0000 UTCFrankie frankly is not needed in this Luffy's crew since he built his own ship and has his own ideas. Considering we now have 3 people who work on building stuff and ships in his crew this part is sorted.
Jaideep
2024-11-10 09:55:20 +0000 UTCNami can't actually maintain it yet during something that...distracting. Luffy is at a level of mastery where his doesn't ever fully shut off, BUT in a situation like this it would be a lot like white noise. If something major changed, like an attack incoming, it would be 'loud' enough for him to immediately notice and react. And Robin never moved within his 'passive' range. Her eyes and ears did. But those are such a small, inoffensive presence, that his chances of noticing it out of the background while so distracted are basically nil. A comparison would be that, in the middle of headbanging to heavy metal in your room, your cat knocked over a small houseplant in the next room. Technically, you were likely capable of hearing it as the noise was loud enough to register. But in all likelihood, you wouldn't notice in your distraction. If Robin had, herself, moved into his passive range, it would have been the equivalent of the same cat batting open the door. The movement in the edge of your vision and the air pressure change might have been enough to alert you. If Robin had thrown a rock at them, it would have been like the 150lb dog deciding, after the cat opened the door, that it was pissed at the noise and charged from halfway across the house. You'd almost certainly notice the incoming out-of-place noise unless you were REALLY out of it...hopefully ;-).
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-10 04:55:12 +0000 UTCSo... does Luffy (and/or Nami) not keep observation haki up constantly/even while having sex (can he even do so), or was Robin actually detected and he/she/they chose to continue anyways (because exhibitionist)
Keht Jelicho
2024-11-10 04:18:21 +0000 UTCI'm not really thinking of that seriously :-p. I just couldn't think of anything else that a Zoan fruit would be good for.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-10 01:02:45 +0000 UTC... ... ... Um? I already do that? There are master files of every story in the post I have pinned to the top of my Patreon? https://www.patreon.com/posts/story-master-85851156
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-10 01:01:27 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapters! Would it be possible to put all the chapters since the first one in a single epub and update it each time? I’d like to be able to read it on my kindle.
Rhyalys
2024-11-10 00:21:50 +0000 UTCIf your thinking about Dino mechs you should probably go look up queen of the beast pirates first. Also for any Dino fruits you should look up all of oda's wrong ass Dino facts first it gets pretty wild.
Mr Fox
2024-11-09 23:33:36 +0000 UTCHuh. Did not know that. I haven't caught up on Supernova in a while.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 22:01:24 +0000 UTCDefinitely not supposed to be lower, thanks for spotting it and calling it out :-p. It was supposed to be 92, not 82. I've fixed that, and added some skills for Hina, Robin and Vivi.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 22:00:16 +0000 UTCHmmm, I've been thinking of possible Paramecia fruits. But I admit the only possible uses I can see for a Zoan would either be to let the Spirit itself join the crew as a catgirl or something, or else to let the Discovery turn into a giant Dino mech or similar. Both seem a little over the top...though this is One Piece, so I suppose either would fit :-p. As I mentioned in the author's note for one of the chapters, I did consider Conis...but the ship already has an issue with a Female Heavy crew. With Franky not in the cards and a strong chance that Yamato is, that balance has to potential to continue being an issue. That made the chance to add another male to the crew seem like a better idea. As for the age thing...there's at least one precedent on Rodger's crew. Crocus was about the same age as Pagaya when Rodger did his run ;-).
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 21:49:18 +0000 UTCThere is a lot to unpack with this set of chapters and I’m sure I’ll forget some of it but here it goes. The Discovery is now already just the best ship that ever exists in one piece aside from the Oro Jackson and Pluton and it ain’t even done yet. It’s got room for two more devil fruits and can assimilate any and all tech into it. With the Logia set I’m hoping for a Paramecia and Zoan next. Make it so the ship can turn into something and can tread on land. And with Luffy building his own ship I knew that the most super of all men would be left behind. It’s sad to see but what can ya do. And I can understand the need to avoid it all because an admiral, CP9 and war in the government just isn’t that much to look forward to. That does leave the Pluton blueprints up in the air. I can understand the idea of taking Pagaya and agree with it, but I do feel a loss at Conis not joining. Hell I feel she could have been the dial engineer with a little rework if her character. Only reason I say that is unless your already a veteran sailor then traveling the Grand Line feels like it’s supposed to be a young persons game and Pagaya is a civvie in his 50’s. But I do love his reason for wanting to join and we have the door door fruit so maybe Conis still has a shot at joining. The lime and lemon was nice and Robin did her little spying game too. Little bit of progress their though I feel that Nami is the one who may ultimately try to get Robin and Vivi(and gods willing Yamato) into her and Luffy’s bed. And I know how you don’t want to bog down the story with romance or bring in too many, but I can see our burgeoning quartet (fingers crossed for five) can’t have some fun with one or two new people on some of the islands they visit, like the lovely woman who is trying to gain their help in saving her home from financial ruin. And then be on their merry way. All in all lovely chapters and can’t wait for more.
Loghead101
2024-11-09 16:59:12 +0000 UTCMinor spoiler here but both Hina and Tashigi actually join the Strawhats in Supernova. But those chapters are still locked to Prim’s patreon at the moment.
Loghead101
2024-11-09 16:55:39 +0000 UTCOh and last thing, Sanji’s cooking skill is 5 points lower than before entering the grand line. Dunno if that’s a mistake or not
Camille Favre
2024-11-09 15:29:29 +0000 UTCAh ok no worries, was just wondering! And for Franky good point, makes sense then. Would be hilarious if Lucci and the rest of CP9 wasted years more than they did originally just waiting around and hoping for a clue 😂
Camille Favre
2024-11-09 14:43:26 +0000 UTCWow, that's certainly High Praise :-p. I've read...four out of six of those? Supernova and Stallion of the Line are right at the top of my own list for One Piece fiction, so getting compared to those is enough to make me blush ;-). I've...tried to read This Bites! a couple of times. I've never been able to get past the first few chapters. It, unfortunately, contains a lot of elements on my 'pet peeve' list that always kill it for me. I admit I'm surprised you've seen Hina join the crew before. The closest I've seen to that is her temporarily traveling with the Strawhats in Stallion of the Line. Which, I admit, is partly what inspired the idea for me. She honestly felt like she clicked with them better than the Marines. Though part of that is just Vimesenthusiast's stellar writing. I'm glad you like the story so much! Hopefully I'll keep hitting the high expectations ;-). *Edit* Oh, and the Vivi thing...I've honestly always been annoyed with most of the stories that include her. They usually end up turning her into just another waifu fighter and ignore the fact that she's got other seriously useful skills! Seriously, I know canon Luffy is too hard-headed to use diplomacy. But even most of the fics with smarter-Luffys ignore it too -_-.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 14:39:13 +0000 UTCYeah, it just doesn't make sense for them to go there. I don't honestly have strong feelings about Franky one way or another. So I didn't give into the temptation to pretend it made sense :-p.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 14:29:32 +0000 UTCSkills - I just never actually filled them out. You're right that Robin ought to have the History skill, and probably a few others. I sort of rushed this version since I'd almost forgotten about it, which means I copied their previous entries and updated them. But, since I'd been trying not to clutter the chapter when Hina, Robin, and Vivi all joined at once, I didn't properly fill their skills out fully. Robin's in particular is...difficult, because some of her skills are hard to quantify. I mean, how do you quantify the skills needed to actively evade the WG for literally decades... Franky - Actually, no. I've had a lot of people question that, and I always point out the same thing...CP-9 had almost zero idea Franky existed prior to the Strawhats showing up. CP-9 had been in place for YEARS, and hadn't gotten anywhere. They were only able to finally do anything because Robin showed up and Iceberg was afraid of her WG propaganda reputation. Without Robin to act as a catalyst, CP-9 isn't likely to even act. They might well be stuck there for years more, trying to figure out where the plans are.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 14:27:50 +0000 UTCFranky has fled! A wild Pagaya has appeared! ...as soon as I read that your Luffy was interested in building his own ship, I just KNEW that Franky wasn't going to be joining the band wagon. Especially considering the reasons you gave as to why your skipping Water 7. Major Marine Base, CP 9 and an Admiral? Very good reasons to avoid it! And Pagaya of all people joining the crew? Congratulations Novus of Fanfiction Works. Your story has, in my personal opinion at least, has just transcended into "unique" status. At this point, I've read at MINIMUM over one hundred One Piece stories with 75 favorited and liked by me. Plenty of writers have had other people join Luffy's crew in their own stories. Kuina? Classic choice number 1 considering her "rivalry" with Zoro. Coby? Another class choice. Kaya? Not seen too often and I just hope she's just not written as a mere cheerleader for Ussop. (Which you've done splendidly at!) Nojiko? Also, unsurprisingly, classic too. Mikita aka Miss Valentine? Can fit surprisingly well with the crew if written well. Vivi? YES! Praise the Sun Princess! Hina? Only seen it happen one other time. Laki (Officially Raki and from Skypiea)? Surprising. Conis? Also surprising. But Pagaya? Again, congratulations since not one story I've read has him actually ever joining the Crew. In my mind, your story is alongside those which have also long obtained the "unique" status: Supernova by Primordial Vortex Logia Brothers by Kaiomaru Journey to Raftel by Kaiomaru too Stallion of the Line by Vimesenthusiast Monkey D Luffy - Avatar of Nika by Milo F. Waters and the one story which is "Legendary" in my mind: This Bites! by Xomniac (Give it a read when you get the chance! Pretty lengthy at 99 Chapters though but oh my god! This story had me bursting at the seams with laughter! The sheer insanity! HAHAHA! Among the best of One Piece Fanfics I've ever read!) Loved how you got Vivi involved in the Diplomatic Ceasefire and your first original island though! Fleshed pretty damn well with what's already established! Keep it up Novus! Next comment from me will be my Edit's later down the line!
The Foreign Traveler
2024-11-09 14:23:05 +0000 UTCI love it!! I honestly didn't even think of the CP-9 - and I totally should have - but it makes sense to avoid it since Luffy is a shipwright in his own right, even if I will miss Franky's Frankness xD
Érica C. Assunção
2024-11-09 13:58:08 +0000 UTCJust a question on the crew’s stats: How come Robin and a few of the others don’t have skills shown? Is it to keep them a secret for now? Because Robin should at least have the skill Knowledge (World History) like Luffy does for example. Also, although skipping Water 7 is smart to protect Robin, won’t it mean that Franky is shipped to Impel Down without being rescued? Although I’m completely fine with the fact that he won’t be part of the crew in this AU, that seems quite harsh.
Camille Favre
2024-11-09 13:10:52 +0000 UTCThanks for the update once again! The Discovery is getting cooler, giving it the Goro DF is 👌 Awesome original island, very interesting storyline :) I’m also looking forward to Usopp’s improved weapon inventory!
Camille Favre
2024-11-09 12:46:43 +0000 UTCYeah that’s understandable ahahaha
MercerV12
2024-11-09 12:30:51 +0000 UTC@MercerV12 Ugh, well there was an attempt? I'll try that next time, I guess. Honestly, there was just one person that mentioned it, but I can understand the issue could be a problem, so I've been looking for a workaround...
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 11:47:44 +0000 UTCYeah. The fact that it's directly connected to Enes Lobby is also just...bad. Running into the island on accident is one thing. Going there when you KNOW it's connected to a major Marine Base AND there's a Cipher Pol unit active there? That's just crazy if you don't absolutely have to. Triply so since Aokiji is ALSO nearby if they go that way. There's no certainty he'd be as gentle as canon...
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 11:46:23 +0000 UTCChapter 52 A/N 1: One of the reasons that I wanted this particular island to exist is to give a few characters boosts. Short of giving him a Devil Fruit, Usopp has a bit of a bottle neck in power that was only really solved post time skip. Since he's using a rifle instead of a slingshot, he can make more out of Dials than before. But I also thought some early boosts to his ammo would do him some good. Likewise, characters like Kaya didn't have their own powerup sources, since they weren't originally part of the crew. Ergo, I've been slowly fleshing out what she can do with the 'Spiritualist' stuff I've given her to work with. She's always going to be more about wide utility than pure power, so having her piece that utility together over time seems logical. The fact that the Crystals Usopp found will double up as a booster for Nojiko serves a similar purpose.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 11:37:53 +0000 UTCChapter 51 A/N 1: No, my thoughts on the White and White White Sea aren't canon as far as I know. But the make sense to me. It not only explains why Gan Fall called the island hopping method dangerous, but also explains why the White Sea isn't super obvious every time anyone looks up. A/N 2: A hope everyone enjoys the first really original island :-)! I took inspiration from a lot of places, though the actual physical description is entirely my own. As for the general feel of the place, I drew a bit on inspiration from Sigil, Waterdeep, and Neverwinter to help me create the general system the city is running on.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 11:31:55 +0000 UTCChapter 50 A/N 1: The Discovery! So, the Assimilate ability from Chapter 49? That was actually always part of the plan. I needed a way that they could, going forward, continue to tweak the ship without needing to fully rebuild it. The Assimilate ability is, largely, why I made it a 'Growth Item' in the first place. Then, Ototsu_Yume mentioned in a comment last update that I should have Luffy feed the Lighting Fruit to his Jian when he reforges it. That, I thought was a Brillant idea and I almost discarded my original planned upgrade for Luffy's sword because it was an awesome idea. Then I remembered that I was going to give the Discovery the Assimilate ability. The moment I put 2+2 together and got AWESOME UPGRADE OF DOOOOOM for the Discovery, I had no hope of resisting the temptation. Thus, despite not actually being part of my original plan, the Discovery became The Discovery of Storms. A badass upgrade for their ship and a way to deal with the complication that is the Goro Goro no Mi all rolled into one! Mwhahahahaha. Anyway. Even if you think I was a bad choice, do remember how little Ship Combat tends to actually happen or matter in One Piece. So it's not like this is going to overpower the crew too badly. Honestly, less so then if one of them had actually eaten the Fruit, probably.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 11:28:15 +0000 UTCChapter 49 (Note: Look at Chapter 50 AN for stuff about the Discovery) A/N 1: Pagaya! So...why Pagaya? Wellllll, the truth is...he's literally the only Dial engineer we know about. I was tempted to claim Conis as one and have her join instead...but that ran into another issue. Specifically, the crew is female heavy. Five men and seven women prior to him joining. This is the natural result of, frankly, the non-crew female characters in One Piece being more interesting. Most of the males we see that have any real development are either already on a crew or Marines. Thus, I decided to make some minor tweaks to Pagaya to make him a believable addition. This actually wasn't that hard, as he shows quite a bit of legitimate courage during the Skypiea Arc. Added to his profession, I only needed to make some alterations that fit pretty well into the world, I think.
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 11:20:31 +0000 UTCPersonally, I'm sad I can't see Franky and Luffy screech at each other about ship designs. That said, it'd be stupid to tempt fate like that and the leopard guy can hold a major grudge. I only hope the 2 other devil fruit users they got in the relevant arc don't get better fruits as a result of not having to rush.
TheZombieDoc
2024-11-09 11:17:17 +0000 UTCChapter 48 A/N 1: I know I've commented on this quite a bit in, you know, comments. But this is the first time I show in-universe...Luffy does NOT want to go to Water 7. I'm honestly still surprised how many people just blindly assume he would go there, even knowing about CP-9. I mean, it's not like he's going to give up the Discovery, which means Franky has zero reason to go along either. He can't recruit the one person from the original crew that's there, and he doesn't want the Thousand Sunny. He's, at this point, a Master Shipwright all on his own, and designed his personal ship from scratch just the way he wanted it. A/N 2: It's been a while since we had a lemon ;-). This one was a bit unusual, too. But I honestly felt that showing Robin's perspective here was a good way to build up her having an increasing interest in a relationship with them. Right now, she's not really thinking 'Romance.' But she's certainly thinking something~!
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 11:12:29 +0000 UTCThought you should know the pictures both show up in our feed before we open the chapter, if you put them at the end below the text it should help with that, but maybe not.
MercerV12
2024-11-09 11:08:55 +0000 UTCThis comment is for authors notes! Beware, spoilers lie in the comments nested below this one! It is recommended you read the new chapters first!
Novus Peregrine
2024-11-09 11:07:13 +0000 UTC
