One Piece - Halfway Broken (33-35)
Added 2024-07-11 02:44:01 +0000 UTCWhew! Sorry this is a bit later than usual folks...and also slightly smaller too. It's only about 13,600 words instead of the typical 15,000 I shoot for. The reason for both of those things is simple. Specifically, I just had fairly major oral surgery (4 teeth extracted, and a hopefully benign cyst removed) and I'm understandably feeling like crap. As well as a flipping between high on pain meds and sleepy because of them. -_-
Anyway, I didn't want to delay this any longer just to try and add more words. Not when it comes to a fairly natural stopping point as is. There are parts of it I'm o 100% happy with, such as Luffy's fight with Crocodile. But, well, writing action has always been my weak point. So unless I took a ton of time to try rewriting it like, 9 more times, it's probably as good as it's going to get?
Anyway, as usual, the new bits of story are attached in various formats...and I'll update the master files in a little bit.
Comments
Either way, you were right that it canonically belonged to one of them :-). I just chose to take a bit of liberty with it, since there's no proof of him having had it earlier in the timeline. And it's a Fruit with an EXTREMELY high utility factor that can help the crew in the long run, even if it's not super powerful in direct combat.
Novus Peregrine
2024-07-12 04:34:05 +0000 UTCI'm super pleased to hear that you liked the Croc and Robin parts :-)! those were by far the two hardest bits to write (I rewrote several parts of the Robin interaction more than once), and I was a little uncertain I'd gotten them right.
Novus Peregrine
2024-07-12 04:30:42 +0000 UTCExcellent job, loved Vivi's new Fruit and the taking down of Croc was well done too. Favorite part was definitely the meet and greet with Robin.
Orchamus
2024-07-12 04:09:00 +0000 UTCTbh, I've never played. But I suppose you're not wrong about the proficiency the others showed
SnowFairyAsuna
2024-07-12 01:57:01 +0000 UTC*shrug* We know for certain that Kaku and Kalifa had only had their Devil Fruits for a matter of a few days, at most, and they showed proficiency with them as well. More to the point...I'd actually argue Blueno showed the WORST proficiency with his Devil Fruit. Anyone who's ever played Portal knows just how many ways you can break the ability to make Portals. While Blueno basically used them in the least imaginative ways possible. To me, that indicates he hadn't had it long. Particularly given that assigning that Devil Fruit to a Cipher Pol team is just about the most stupid way to use it too. Unless it has an unknown limit that was never described, the best thing to do would have been to assign him to Marineford and use him to rapid-deploy high ranking Marines around the world.
Novus Peregrine
2024-07-11 18:57:36 +0000 UTCConsidering they were undercover for years, it seems like he would have had it before then considering he was rather proficient in using it during the seatrain/Enies Lobby arc (my phone auto corrected that somehow..creepy). But whatever works I suppose. Not a huge plot point and could just be another "ripple" in the timeline. Still, thanks for the story regardless ^^
SnowFairyAsuna
2024-07-11 09:54:50 +0000 UTCI'm glad you like it so much :-p. Sadly, I only have so much writing time and too many stories to manage ;-). And thanks for the well wishes about the healing :-). Thankfully, the worst of it should only last a few days...supposedly. We'll see if they were right about that...
Novus Peregrine
2024-07-11 08:18:10 +0000 UTCI'm glad you liked it :-). As for the Den Den Mushi, there is no known range limitation on them, and numerous examples from the series of them being used for long-distance calls. Nezumi calling into Marine HQ for bounties on the Strawhats being just the first example I can think of. There are a few examples of them being actively jammed by either a Devil Fruit power or a specific other type of Mushi (the Horned Mushi), but otherwise they don't seem to have a range limitation. I did make sure to specify earlier in the fic that the Discovery had been equipped with one that was capable of long-distance communication, since I do imagine that the handheld ones have to have SOME limit or everyone would be using them a lot more.
Novus Peregrine
2024-07-11 08:15:49 +0000 UTCAh, this is a minor point I'll likely bring up in a A/N when it releases on other platforms. So, during the Water 7 Arc, several members of the CP-9 team first received their Devil Fruits. We don't know which of them already had their Devil Fruits before that, and which got the Devil Fruits right then. After looking to make sure as best I could that there was no existing shown occurrences of Bluneo using the Fruit prior to Water 7, I decided it was reasonable to assume he was one of those who had just gotten his Fruit. Ergo, since this is a couple of months (at least) prior to the water 7 arc, the Fruit is still 'at large' and was available for Luffy to purchase via his System Store.
Novus Peregrine
2024-07-11 08:08:47 +0000 UTCI fucking love it!! This was so amazing!! And it is so incredible to see Vivi being able to both be a present Strawhat and take care of her kingdom! (Have the cake and eat it, and all that!) But I think the Den-Den Mushi is more local than so spread like that (but I could be wrong xD or could even be that in your more realistic retelling they can have a more broad range!)
Érica C. Assunção
2024-07-11 06:51:28 +0000 UTCI might have missed something, or forgotten considering how many fics I read every day, but isn't the door-door fruit supposed to already be in use via the cp-9 agent?
SnowFairyAsuna
2024-07-11 05:32:02 +0000 UTCI’ve been enjoying your story so much! I love SI or OC stories that change how the plot goes! You strike a damn good balance with “Luffy”. Your explanations of Devil Fruits is something I’ve never read before in a OP story and the shop, along with your Gamer System, is great! The only thing that bugs me…is that I have to wait a month for the next batch of chapters! This story is so good! Can’t wait for more! Also, I hope you heal from your surgery and get better! If you need time to heal and can’t write because of it then you won't hear any complaints from me. Take your time, your health is more important.
The Foreign Traveler
2024-07-11 03:24:10 +0000 UTC
