The biggest answer of my life

To everyone who is willing to sacrifice everything to achieve the dream…

a message from the one who did that before……"Don’t do it"

I am a workaholic….I work 2-3 jobs at the same time, and also study at 2 universities too, to make sure I and my family can survive a hard time. I’m not afraid of hard work. I can endure pain, stay unhealthy, ignore small happiness, and do many boring things for a long time if I know that one day, I can help everybody live happier and make them rich and healthy. That’s my goal and I will do anything to achieve that…

until the last 7 weeks ago,

I went to the hospital for a check-up, and the result was….I have blood in the digestive system. I didn’t know what caused it, but the worst case is “cancer”

since that day, because of my paranoia, I assume for the worst. That means I had already assumed that I had cancer… and because of that, my world turned upside down. 

I was so afraid of death like never before. I couldn’t do even did a single smile. I cried almost every day since then. I thought my time had come.

because I was so afraid, I completely changed my lifestyle. I went to fitness the day after. I eat more clean foods. No more soda and try to walk at least 8000 steps every day. I used to be stressed about making money, stressed out about studying, and stressed about almost everything. But they didn’t matter to me anymore. No matter how hard you try, if you die, everything ends.

During those 7 weeks, There was the worst time of my life….counting down to death…I may live only 1 or 2 years..….I know, I know, I’ve just made everything up myself….I imagined things……but the feeling was so real….real enough to feel how the moment of saying goodbye feels like.

There are so many things I want to do, If I die soon, I’ll miss much fun, happiness, and many opportunities I’ve been waiting for so long….and make my most loved people cry. 

and I asked myself, What did I do before…why didn’t I do it sooner….why I had to wait til everything was too late…

I lost all hope. day has passed….days become a week, weeks become a month….I made everyone worry. But nothing I can’t do…I can’t control my mind. The emotion of despair consumed me.

At last, the day has come….I gave up all hope at the front of the operation room….it’s too late for me, I thought. If the result is cancer, my life is wasted. even though, cancer can be cured…but my sanity at that moment can’t think optimistically.

In the end, the result is fine….I have no cancer…..the moment I heard that a doctor didn’t find any unusual things in my body….It was such a big relief for me…my mind was finally free from sadness and madness. It’s like a second chance for me. 

Since that day, I realized that all along, I wasted my time on something I shouldn’t. I threw away my happiness because I focused too much on only the goal…I delayed things because my excused of did not have enough time and money to do them. I won’t fall into the same traps again.

Nowadays, I truly understand how to be happy. I work less and stay healthy. I spend more time with my family. and I eat clean every day. it’s the biggest lesson of my life. I now know what is the life I want. And I’m so grateful I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends both offline and online. I now have less fear and less worry in my life.

If you have read til this line, I hope you’ll get my message. Please don’t be like me. You don’t have to wait for the success to be happy. The happiness at the finish line is just a tiny happiness compared to the happiness you will get along the way. and if you want to do something, just do it as soon as you can…there’s no reason to delay it.

I will restart my new journey of my life in 2025. I wish for true happiness and I wish you will find your true happiness in life too. Even if the world is collapsed, we don’t have to collapse with it. I hope you will reach your goal and also enjoy everything in your life.

And the last thing, I thank you, everyone, for the great time you gave me.

Happy New Year 2025

Escape