Somebody Stop Us. Chapter 4: Feelings

"Ah, sheet," I muttered under my breath as I braced myself for the inevitable explosion. It was like watching a slow-motion train wreck–you knew it was coming, you knew it was going to be messy, but you couldn't look away. 

Ember Stratos, my sister, a walking, talking, fire-breathing embodiment of 'Things That Could Go Horribly Wrong' stopped right in front of our table, her gold-orange eyes blazing with fury, crystalline mane smoking as wisps of dragonfire flashed between each ruby gem. 

"Martin," she snarled. 

“Yes?”

"What. The. Abyss. Did. You. Do?"

"Do? I haven't done anything. Just enjoying a lovely lunch with my… besties."

"Besties?" Ember's voice rose an octave, attracting the attention of nearby tables. "You mean your… owners?" She spat the word like it was poison, eyes flicking between Vespera and Cinder, her dragonfire sparking dangerously.

Vespera, ever the provocateur, leaned back in her chair, a smirk playing on her lips. "Jealous, Emmy-chan? Wish you had a cute bonded kobold of your own?"

Ember ignored her, her fury laser-focused on me. "Don't play dumb with me! I… I want to know the truth!”

“Which truth?” I asked. “Can you be a little bit more specific?”

“What was that shit with the Skinwalker yesterday?”

“A post-shift sting operation organized by Justice Nova,” I shrugged. “To capture a dangerous, high level ghoul. His appearance in Skyfall was your fault, just so you know.”

"My fault?! What?! You have five seconds to explain everything, Martin! Or I swear to the All-Dragon, I will…"

“Will what?”

She trailed off, seemingly searching for a threat dire enough to convey the depth of her rage. I knew what was coming. It was always the same threat, the ultimate weapon in Ember's arsenal of sibling smackdown.

"…I will tell Father!"

I laughed, pulling the Alexander Glock mask on harder. “Really? And?”

“And… I don’t know! Maybe he’ll disown you!”

“Is that what you really want? Me, completely out of your life?” I arched an eyebrow, no longer moved by her threats.

“Urmmm, no,” she seemed to deflate.

“Emerald,” I said sharply. “I saved you from perma-death twice now. I saved you from a corpse world and freed you from an execution in Shandria. You agreed to be my Sixie. You owe me six million O-bux. The dimensional shift doesn't make debt or Sixie declaration go away. So, sit down, calm your tits and shut the fuck up.”

Ember choked, not expecting my offensive. She grabbed an empty chair, pulled it close to me and sat down, glaring daggers at me.

“There we go,” I said. “Now we can talk like adults. Valor Thornheart aka Uxtish Legon was an Astral Phantom, a Skinwalker that you involved with Cassie two years ago as Emerald at lake Eerie. He and his buddies bound themselves to the lakeshore with a sacrifice ritual. You should have gone to the authorities instead of pursuing imbecilic personal vengeance. Uxtish Legon existed in Cinder’s soul for two years and manifested into physical reality as her fiancee because of you.”

“Fuck,” Ember paled.

“Any other inquiries?” I asked, watching as Ember fretted on her chair.

“I…” she let out, rubbing her face. “I… I don’t know who I am and who you are anymore Martin! Yesterday everything made sense, but since those damned Stabalist Scruits ‘fixed me’ I feel like three different people!”

“And you’re blaming me for this?” I asked. “All of us feel like three different people.” I waved at the Omnids around us. “We’re all sorting this stuff out!”

“I am not blaming you,” she admitted, her voice less sharp. “It’s just that… Everything’s really messed up. Screwy. I have conflicting memories. Of being horrible to you. Of… treating you like… like you were nothing.” She paused, her breath catching in her throat. “And then… other memories. Of you… saving me. Helping me. Hitting and drowning me in the Genesis Pool. I also remember you being my brother on a magic-less… human-only populated Earth. I remember you as a random, annoying nullie who infiltrated Skyfall… and then I remember watching over you for years after your human mother abandoned you, sold you to us!”

“It’s the dimensional shift,” I shrugged. “It rearranged things, jumbled up memories, messed with identities and relationships. It’s not your fault, Emmy.”

“Who… who are you, Martin? Really?” She asked.

“Your brother,” I said. “Three versions of your brother, I think. We drifted apart because of a truly catastrophic dimensional shift and then were brought together again by the most recent one.”

“You did so many horrible things to me before the blasted dimensional shift!” She growled.

“Only because you were absurdly hostile to me,” I pointed out. “You tried to banish me from Skyfall.”

“Are you really my… half-brother?” She asked nervously.

“We can run a DNA test in the Foxden Artifactorium,” I offered. “But what will that prove exactly? Dimensional shift rearranges the physical. It’s not like we can go back in time and check if I was genetically your brother before the worldwide Celestorm. Hrmm. Oh, I know, we can talk to our dad, see if he had a relationship with a human girl from North Acadia before the shift.”

“Arghhh,” Emerald let out, dragonfire on her head dying out completely as she slumped onto the edge of the hexagonal table beside me. “Eff’ my life.”

“I believe that you have got a choice to make going forward, Emmy,” I said. “Who do you want to be? Emerald Stratos, a Sixie of Rainbow and Thunder Omnicorp and a big nuisance for me that will likely throw to the wolves… Or Ember Stratos–my big sister?"

“Em. You’ve been effing horrendous to all of us before the shift,” Cinder crossed her hands. “And we ain’t gonna put up with your shit anymore. Cross me again, and I will murder you.”

“Ya,” Vespera nodded. “Are you gonna smarten up n’ fly straight?”

Emerald let out the smallest nod.

Magdaline inhaled. “She has no idea where to even start being a new person,” she said. “She does feel bad, so there’s that.”

"You can start by apologizing," Vee said. "To all of us. For… everything you’ve done, ya dum’ beerch.”

Ember sighed. She turned to Vespera, her face hesitant.

“Sorry, Vee,” she let out. “I treated you like a kobold when you were a firstborn Prima… like you were beneath me. Like your… your family wasn't good enough. Like you weren't good enough.”

Vespera nodded with a smug expression. 

“Same goes to you,” Ember turned to Io. “I used your gate skill, recklessly pushed you into doing stuff with my Charmchain voice. Sorry, Io.”

Iogann shrugged.

Ember slowly turned to Cinder and winced. “Ci. I… manipulated you to get stronger, to gain levels faster, to control you… I’m sorry Ci. I don’t deserve to be your friend. It probably doesn’t mean much since we aren’t actually friends in this reality, but I’m sorry for everything awful that my stupid, pre-shift self did to you.”

Cinder crossed her arms. “I don’t forgive you.”

“I don’t expect to be forgiven,” Ember said. “I honestly… I don’t want to lose my brother, that’s all.”

“Aww, Emmy, you do care for me,” I said. “So what was all that earlier menacing growlery about?”

Ember growled at me.

“She’s confused and angry and has no idea how to deal with it all,” Magdaline explained. “Two thirds of her sees you as a brother. The rest of her sees you as a human nemesis and an insane, horrifying Clan Leader, the Slayer who broke her into submission as a Sixie.”

“Ah,” I nodded.

The red dragon girl sighed. 

Then, she stood up, stepped to my side and smothered me in a one-armed hug and then gave me a noogie. I hugged her back, staring at her gold eyes. There was fear and anger there, but it didn't look like she was angry with me. More like angry with herself.

“Sorry, Martin,” she let out. “I forgot you… I did so many awful, horrible things to you, when I should have been taking care of you.”

“S’aight, Em,” I said. “Don’t do it again.”

“Emerald is dead,” Ember said. “She’s not coming back. I’m… not going to let her. The current me is older… Less wrong. Better than my past selves. Hopefully.”

“Probably not the healthiest way to deal with it, but you do you, sis,” I said. “If you want to let out some dragon-ree, you can try kicking my ass at the coliseum.”

“Sounds good, ya nulls,” she grinned at me. “Think you can take me on?”

“With enough hexasuits, I absolutely can,” I fired back 

“You’re so on,” she smiled. “In fact both of your… dragons are on,” she eyed Vee and Ci. “If you want Martin, you’ll have to fight me for him in a duel.”

“Not that we owe you anything but I’ll absolutely kick your ass,” Cinder said.

“Seconded,” Vespera nodded.

The dragon girl seemed to relax at the prospect of violent beatings. The Kitsune waiter came our way with the menus and we all ordered lunch. 

The group broke apart after lunch and the rest of my classes passed quickly with Cinder keeping me company. 

. . .

"Right then," Vespera said, dragging Cinder and me towards the Silver Tower and up the stairs. "Operation: Un-Shell the Fox, is a go!"

"Un-shell, huh?" I repeated, stumbling momentarily as Vespera practically carried me across the hall, Cinder trailing behind us with a somewhat weary look.

"Yass," Vespera bobbed. “As we agreed! No take-backsies! I told everyone to piss off, ‘cus ya need some therapy, so the entire room’s ours for the three hours till dinner!”

She picked me up and threw me onto our widened bunk. I landed on it with a soft thump. Cinder followed, leaping up and settling onto the bed beside me as Vee drew the silver curtains and engaged the privacy hexagrams around the expanded space.

“Come on,” Vee fluttered around me and began massaging my shoulders with her talons. “Make with the feels.”

“Fine,” I said. “I'll try to… feel stuff.”

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and began spinning my soul-armillary, trying to make the Architect sink down. After a minute I realized that wasn’t working. My dimensionally-skewered self didn’t want to let go of the Architect, absolutely didn't want to face everything that happened.

“Bah! Seems like you need motivation!” Vespera commented, sending sparks raining over my shoulders. “Ci produce moozikal motivation and make the fox feel things!”

Cinder nodded and pulled out her guitar. She chewed her lip for a minute and then began to strum.

“Green eyes, hiding, deep inside
Walls you build, can't stem the tide
Behind mirror-shell so deep
Lie secrets that you longing keep.”

She began softly and then punched up.

“Little fox, why do you hide?
Let me stand right by your side.
This armor that you wear so well,
Has become your prison cell!

Your Prison Cell!”

Her words and guitar solo echoed unnaturally, pounding at my psyche, wrapping around my entire body like warm, wing-hugs. The song seemed to touch some distant part of me causing me a sense of deja vu.

“I catch that spark within your stare
A fire dancing, wild and rare
Through mists of logic, plans, and schemes
I see the truth behind your dreams!

Scattered pieces on the ground
Fragments of what once was found
But in each shard, a light still gleams
More beautiful than what it seems!

My shiny fox!”

Cinder stared deep into my eyes, her ocean blues igniting from within like two brilliant flares. 

“Let your broken wings take flight
Surrender to the fading light
We're here to catch you when you fall
Together we can brave it all

We'll brave it all!”

My consciousness spiralled into her gaze, the armillary of my soul spinning madly along with her music, drowning in her rainbow wings.

“So shed the weight you've carried long
And let your heart become a song
For even broken souls can soar
When they don't have to hide anymore!

Don't hide anymore, cus I love you soooo! Love you soooooo! Don’t run anymore!”

Her words stretched on, spinning a Charmchain storm around me. The Architect fraction of me unfurled, came apart, sunk into the depths of my subconsciousness. Cinder slipped the guitar down and drew me and Vee into a warm embrace of a Quetzi-Thunderbirb sandwich.

[Love. Embrace it. Fall into it. Let it consume you!] Vespera’s Electrofractal voice buzzed in my head. [Feel everything! Think of a happy memory and give me a genuine smile!]

A flicker. A memory. Fragmented, hazy around the edges.

I saw myself, younger, much younger, sitting on a sun-drenched porch, the warm breeze rustling through my hair. A woman with dark hair and kind, tired eyes and a warm smile sat beside me, humming a soft Kaska tune. 

Her hand, rough but gentle, stroked my hair, a gesture of unconditional love.

The memory was simple, almost mundane, but it carried a weight, a depth of feeling that I hadn't realized I had long forgotten, ran away from. A warmth bloomed in my chest, a faint, flickering ember of something. 

[Good,] Vespera’s Resonance echoed across me, her voice deep, her breath warm against my cheek. [Hold onto that feeling. Let it grow. Let it ignite you from within.]

I focused on the memory, clinging to it like a lifeline, letting the warmth, the faint echo of joy, spread through me.

I wanted this. I needed this. To feel. To be more than just a self-made weapon of devious trickery and lies, more than just a survivor that smashed himself against Frontenachii Fear Wards and stopped being human, stopped feeling everything.

The warmth in my chest grew stronger, spreading outwards, tingling through my limbs. The memory of my childhood, of that simple, sun-drenched moment, became clearer, more vivid. I could almost smell the scent of Stormwood pine needles and warm earth, hear the distant chirping of birds, feel the gentle pressure of her hand on my head.

Then, another memory surfaced, unbidden, but welcome. A different place, a different time, but the same feeling.

The Crystal Citadel on Arx. Our room. The shared bed, the weight of Cinder’s wing over me, the soft hum of Vespera’s electrical field. The feeling of belonging. 

The warmth intensified, becoming a steady, burning flame. It wasn't just happiness, not anymore. It was something more. Connection. A deep, bone-deep sense of rightness.

Of home.

Of everything I had, lost and gained.

My eyes filled with tears. Feelings hit me like an ocean. 

"Home," I uttered, the word escaping my lips. It wasn't just a place, it was a feeling, a tapestry woven from shared laughter, secrets, wild accomplishments and the comforting weight of belonging. It was Cinder's fierce protectiveness, Vespera's boundless enthusiasm, and the strength of our ever-expanding, unlikely family, our Clan.

[Yes,] Vespera's mental voice was a gentle hand guiding me through the rising tide of emotions. [Home. Us. Together. Always.]

The tears flowed freely now, hot and cleansing, washing away the layers of numbness, the carefully constructed walls I'd built around my heart. It wasn't just grief, though that was there too, a deep, aching wellspring for everything I'd lost. It was also relief, joy, and a profound, overwhelming sense of gratitude.

I was remembering. Not just the events, the facts, the cold, hard data points of my past life. But the feelings. The connections. The messy, complicated, beautiful web of relationships that made it all… worthwhile.

Everyone I had lost. So many nameless Arxkin that I had sacrificed to take Undertown. 

Cinder's wing tightened around me, a silent reassurance. I leaned into her embrace, drawing strength from her warmth, from the steady, rhythmic beat of her heart that echoed against my own.

"We're here, Lexxy," Vespera murmured tenderly, melting the remnants of my defences. [Here. Forever and always.] And we're not going anywhere."

I buried my face in Cinder’s neck, inhaling the familiar scent of ozone and lavender, letting the tears flow freely. Cinder's hand found mine, her fingers intertwining with my own, a silent promise of unwavering support.

My mind flowed over the six months of nightmares that came with facing down Wendigo Absolute Fear Wards, outsmarting the Frontenachii bastards, the horrors I discovered in their basement, the absolute emptiness and coldness that came with destroying their compound. The escape across five thousand kilometers, the thrill of infiltrating Skyfall, of meeting Vee and Ci, of Arx-deliving, of obliterating the Arx Bank and the proto-dungeon inside Possy. 

I cried as I experienced the crushing despair of losing them, the agonizing emptiness of a post-shift Earth. Of living so long without them, of having an empty hole in my chest where they used to be.

And I remembered, with a clarity that made my heart ache, the love. The fierce, unwavering, unconditional love that had bound us together, a bond that had somehow transcended dimensions, lifetimes, even… shifted reality itself.

It was all there, every joy, every sorrow, every triumph, every loss, washing over me in a tidal wave of emotion. And for the first time in what felt like an eternity, I didn't flinch away. I didn't retreat behind the cold logic of the Architect, the calculated detachment of the survivor.

I let myself feel.

It hurt. It hurt like the cold Abyss, a raw, agonizing ache that seemed to tear at the very fabric of my being. But it was also… beautiful. Exhilarating. Liberating.

I was alive. Truly alive. Not just existing, not just surviving and running, but feeling, experiencing, embracing the full, messy, chaotic, beautiful spectrum of human emotion.

And I wasn't alone.

I had them. My quartet of wings. My rainbow and thunder. My… everything.

I tightened my grip on Cinder's hand, my other arm wrapping around Vespera nuzzling each of them.

They responded instantly, their bodies molding against mine, their warmth seeping into my bones, chasing away the last vestiges of the cold, empty void that had haunted me for so long.

We stayed like that for a long moment, a tangle of limbs and feathers and shared emotion, the silence broken only by the soft sound of our breathing and the distant rumble of the ocean outside.

Then, slowly, hesitantly, I pulled back, wiping my tear-streaked face with the back of my hand. I met Vespera's silver-gold gaze, then Cinder's ocean-blue one, a shaky smile tugging at my lips.

"Thank you," I said, the words feeling inadequate, but heartfelt. "For… for everything. For… bringing me back. For finding me. For letting me into your lives. For giving me your magic. For supporting my insane dreams.”

And then, because sometimes words were simply not enough, I leaned in, capturing the side of Vespera's lips in a kiss. 

I felt her response, the attack of the side beak against my lips, the hum of electricity that always seemed to dance across her feathers. 

[Mine.] She sang in static whispers. [My adorkable, smol fox.]

[No. Mine.] I responded. [My beautiful, clever birb.]

Then, I turned to Cinder, capturing her lips with mine. I felt the heat of her scales against my skin, her elongated tongue, the intoxicating scent of wild lavender fields.

The kisses deepened, becoming more passionate, more intense, a whirlwind of shared emotion, of rediscovered intimacy. The world around us faded, all dissolving into the background, leaving only the three of us, intertwined, connected, whole.

We kissed and kissed and kissed, exploring each other, moving the familiar landscape of each other's bodies, the subtle nuances of touch and taste and scent. Hands roamed, exploring, undressing, caressing, igniting sparks of pleasure that ripped across Omnid and human bodies, chasing away the last vestiges of the cold, empty shell I'd been inhabiting.

It wasn't just physical, though the physical was certainly there, intense and undeniable. It was… more. A merging of souls, a blending of energies, a re-forging of the bond that had been fractured, but never broken.

Together.

My rainbow shield of scaled steel. My sword, made of lightning and thunder. 

Each of them, a little god, a terrifying predator that could bite me in half. Each, mine. My everything. 

Everything, everywhere at the same time.

Resonance. 

Violet stars ignited across my eyes as Vespera and I became one, connected. Positive and negative. Male and female. One and zero.

Her Electrofractal energy surged through me as she claimed me, a tingling current that danced across my skin, intertwining with my own nascent magic, amplifying it, igniting it. It wasn't just a physical sensation; it was a merging of souls, a blending of consciousness. I could feel her thoughts, her emotions, her pleasure, her desires, all swirling within me, mirroring my own, amplifying my senses.

The physical merged with the metaphysical, a dance of flesh and soul, a symphony of shared sensation. 

Vespera bit me and kissed me and laughed and I bit her back, pushing my soul into hers, claiming her as mine forevermore. 

Gravity let go. We soared and spun in the air above the forgotten bunk bed, below silver-white arches. Cinder spiralled around us like a rainbow comet, wings radiating pure love and passion, claws and lips moving from me to Vee.

Time snapped in half, ceased to exist. There was only the now, the feeling, the connection. The three of us, intertwined, inseparable, a single entity forged in the crucible of our shared love.

My hands found the curve of Vee’s hips, the soft down of her feathers. She arched into me, her wings fluttering, sparks raining down on us like a miniature, erotic thunderstorm. Waves of black and white patterns rushed across her body as she wreathed above me, crying out physically and mentally.

[More… More, Lexxy… Yesss…] Her thoughts sang.

I gave her what she desired, taking her, grabbing her with gravity waves she generated, until her cries escalated into a crescendo of release, her body arching madly, convulsing around me, her wings flaring impossibly wide, a shower of sparks erupting from her feathers, her talons digging into my back, lightning detonating against the magisteel walls.

Then, with a final, shuddering sigh, she let go, floating away, wings still trembling with the aftershocks of pleasure.

Cinder pulled Vespera into her arms, her lips finding the Thunderbird’s, their tongues tangling in a slow, deep kiss that seemed to stretch on forever, both of their bodies softening, adjusting themselves through joined Phase-Shift.

Then, Cinder pulled back, her blue eyes locking onto mine, a predatory gleam in their depths. She reached out, her claws gently tracing the curve of my jaw, her touch sending shivers down my spine.

“My turn,” she sang, her voice husky, laced with a possessiveness that made my heart pound.

Her wings wrapped around me, a cocoon of warmth and color, shutting out the world, leaving only us.

Her hands moved over my body, exploring, teasing, igniting sparks of desire that mirrored, amplified, the pleasure I’d just shared with Vespera. Her touch was different from Vee's—less electric, more… earthy, a primal heat that seemed to seep into my bones, melting my defenses.

Gravity waves still rolled from Vespera, keeping us in the air. 

Cinder’s claws, no longer playful, dug into my back, pulling me closer, her body molding against mine. I tangled my fingers in her radiant feathers. She arched into me, a low growl rumbling in her chest, her wings opening and closing.

An ocean of violet stars returned, pulsating all around us, burning bright physical reality. Infinite constellations made from constellations. 

My hands moved over her body, exploring the curves and hollows, the smooth scales and soft down feathers. I traced the line of her spine with my fingertips, sending tremors through her. Her breath hitched, a gasp escaping her lips as I found the sensitive spot just beneath her wing, my thumb circling it gently.

She bucked against me, her wings flaring, a wave of heat washing over me as her entire body ignited, feathers shifting through a kaleidoscope of colors–vibrant pinks and oranges, deep violets and blues, all swirling and pulsing in time with the frantic beat of our hearts.

My Goddess, my perfect being for whom I would conquer the stars.

Resonance.

Absolute devotion to me flashed in her blue eyes as she became ensnared in her own Charmchain. 

Her iridescent scales, pulsed, Phase-Shifting into human skin. 

“Who is the dragon-god now?” I sang, my voice deep and carrying an unnatural, resonant echo.

“You are,” Cinder breathed out, arching and presenting her pink neck, surrendering to me.

I bit her, claiming her soul as mine. 

Vespera drifted around us, crackling with satisfaction as she observed my claim.

"Nice," she murmured with a beaky grin. "Very nice. Now, Slay her!”

She reached out to both of us with her talons, bridging our minds together as one through her Electrofractal skill.

"You're mine, Ci," I growled. "Mine. Understand?"

The Quetzi-girl smiled, her wings spreading wide. 

"Yours," she sang, mewling and crying out as we spun in the air. "Always."

[Yessss…] Vespera’s static pulsed. [Take her, Lexy! Make her scream!]

I moved in in a slow, deliberate rhythm that built up with each heartbeat, each gasp, each shared breath. The connection between us intensified, fueled by our combined magic, by Vespera's Electrofractal sparks that danced across our joined bodies, weaving our sensations together into a star that was about to go supernova.

Cinder’s body convulsed, rainbows radiating all around us. She cried out, her voice escalating into a crescendo of release.

Vespera’s electric laughter echoed through my mind as she pushed us both and herself over the edge.

The world exploded in a kaleidoscope of light and color, sound and sensation, all dissolving into a single, blinding moment of pure, unadulterated bliss.

A soft, contented sigh escaped Cinder's lips as she collapsed against me, her wings still trembling, her feathers shimmering with the afterglow of pleasure. 

I held her close, my own breath coming in ragged gasps, my body still thrumming with the echoes of our shared release as we floated back into the bed below.

Vespera landed gracefully beside us. She leaned in, nuzzling Cinder’s cheek, then turned to me, her silver-gold eyes gleaming with amusement.

"Hrmmm," she purred. "Better. Much better! Many feels. Twenty outta ten.”

Cinder grumbled something unintelligible, burying her face in my chest, her feathers rustling softly against my skin. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close, a warmth spreading through me that had nothing to do with magic, and everything to do with the deep, bone-deep connection, love that bound us together, stronger than ever before.

Violet stars danced at the edges of my eyes, slowly fading away.

“You see that stuff… right?” I asked Vee. “Violet constellations all around?”

“Yepperoni,” she nodded. “I see what you see, feel what you feel through the Resonance.”

“So… What is that?”

“Nullspace,” she murmured, hugging and nuzzling me on the opposite side of Cinder. “The Astral Ocean. The Underside of the world. Connections between everything. Between the past us, future us and present us. Between the possibilities of us across… everywhere.”

“Is that one of your skills then?”

“No. It's not a particular skill that belongs to either of us,” Vespera purred. “It’s something manifesting from our soul connection… isn't it pretty?”

“Pretty,” I agreed.