Somebody Stop Them. Chapter 38: All the Cards

I glanced in the direction of the shark-girl. She reached out to my shoulder, sensing my intent. I turned to Father Matthias.

“I was never here,” I told him, inhaling hard as Scrutosmia poured across me from Magdaline.

“You were never here,” the Arch-Priest agreed. “Your former identity as Alexander Glock is now under the Witness Protection Program of the Nazarite Church, Astrally unplottable. I already signed the paperwork after all.”

“How does it work exactly?” I asked.

“The power of Ein Sof is indeterminacy,” the Arch-Priest answered. “Even if she left this hall, she still managed to grant your wish, it seems.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“It is now very hard to picture you within the Astral,” the man replied. “I see you in the physical, but your Astral imprint is smudged, muted.”

“So I’m invisible to everyone now?” I asked.

“That is not what you wished for,” Father Matthias answered. “You still hold onto your Earthly connections, desire to be connected to your soul partners and friends. If I understand this pattern correctly, Ein Sof made you invisible to those who wish you grave harm.”

As far as I could tell through Scrutimancy, he was being honest.

“And the vault?” I glanced behind me.

“As much as I’d love to blame your party for this,” Father Matthias eyed the bent door. “It’s impossible for five Omnid teens to free a Sefirot. She must have been grinding at some pivotal point of the ward for millennia without our knowledge. You’re the first to ask to speak to her in generations. The last man to speak to her in 1984 had his soul cleaved in two and vanished without a trace a few days after.”

I relaxed. It seemed that the Church would not hold me accountable for smashing their hourglass and redecorating their basement.

. . .

We quickly departed from the cathedral and filed into Io’s flying van. Magdaline took the shotgun seat next to the moth, while Ci sat beside me on a couch facing away from the front seats with Katherine occupying the back couch facing us. I changed into one of the fancy suits Mags had purchased for me.

"Is nobody going to mention how Ein Sof you four dance?" Katherine said. "Or how she turned Cinder into like a hundred different people? Or how you two were singing musical-style?"

"To be fair," I said, "singing is kind of Cinder's thing. She's a theatrical Quetzi. Presumably, Ein Sof simply hijacked her talent to casually sing-chat with us. Better than melting our souls, right?"

"Ugh," Cinder voiced. "I can't believe I got possessed by that thing."

"I do hope there are no memetics in your heads," Kat said.

"If there are," I said. "It's probably fine. I trust god-Cinder."

"Oi!" Cinder jabbed me. "I am NOT Ein Sof!"

"That's exactly what Ein Sof would say," I grinned.

"You got possessed too!" Cinder huffed. "What if you're the Ein Sof!"

"I am," I said. "We all are. That's how Ein Sof works, I think. She's everyone 'cus she's the divine Concept of Infinity. Get it?"

“No I don’t get it,” Cinder said. “Explain.”

“Unlike an Archangel,” I said. “Ein Sof is the Kabbalistic concept of ‘Infinity’. Kabbalist scriptures describe her as limitless, nameless, endless one, god as prior to any self-manifestation in the production of any spiritual realm. Ein means ‘nothing or non-existence’. And Sof means ‘limitation.’ Hence her other name, Infinity Paradox Proxima. Something that is finite and also limited.”

“Uhhhh,” Cinder blinked at me. 

“Ein Sof is the Word of god before the world was made physical,” I explained. “The emanator of the ten Sefirot. Formless, meaning that she is defined by observer-causality effect expectations. I tried to expect her to be you, so she was you. A dancing, singing, somewhat eerie version of you, the girl who loves me.”

“Why me?”

“Because you love me,” I said. “People who spoke to Ein Sof before got their souls cleaved because they didn’t expect her to love them, they just wanted to have their wishes fulfilled and they expected to pay a price of a piece of their soul. I didn’t expect anything like that. If you’re Ein Sof, then there’d be no way that you’d harm us. Get it? Love is a weapon.”

Cinder chewed on her lower lip, contemplating my words.

“I also expected her to be the expression of love between us. I think that it worked out pretty good. We got a nice musical number out of it instead of the normally-prescribed soul-cleaving. You’re welcome,” I grinned.

“Ha!” Magdaline barked from her seat. “Clever human wizard.”

Cinder stared at me, then shook her head.

. . .

"Here we are," Io announced as the van landed in the back garden of the Nova estate. "Have fun!"

"You have fun too," I fired back at him and Magdaline. “Take Kat where she wants to go and then take our sharky Scrut somewhere nice.”

Io nodded.

The shark girl in question shot me a smug smile. She seemed to be enjoying Io’s flying van quite a bit.

I helped Cinder out of the van, giving Kat, Io and Magdaline a final wave as they took off.

"Ready for round two with your folks?" I asked.

Cinder's feathers shifted through nervous violet-grays as we walked across the back garden. "After doing a musical number with an eldritch entity? Sure, dinner with my parents seems totally normal."

The garden path wound through carefully maintained magical plants, their bioluminescent flowers casting soft blue light in the growing dusk. The Victorian Gothic architecture of the Nova mansion loomed above us, its windows warmly lit.

We approached the back door, and Lady Nova opened it before we could knock, beaming at us. Either Cinder texted her or the house ward told her that we were here.

"Welcome home, starshine!" She greeted Cinder, then turned to me. "Alexander, dear, I'm so glad you could join us again!"

"Thank you for having me once again, Anitta," I smiled.

Anitta's eyes dug into the feather pendant hanging from my neck.

"Oh my!" Her own feathers shifted through excited pinks. "Is that one of Cassie's feathers?"

"Yes," I smiled, touching the crystal pendant. "She made it for me today."

"How wonderful!" Anitta clapped her hands together. "You know, in Quetzalcoatl culture, giving a feather crystal is quite significant. It's traditionally a symbol of-"

"Mom!" Cinder whined. "Stop embarrassing me!"

"I'm just explaining our customs to Alexander, starshine!" Anitta fired back.

Cinder made the "you're awful and I don’t like this explaining" face.

"Cassie, dear, why don't you go change into something more appropriate for dinner?" Anitta suggested, eyeing Cinder's delving gear with mild disapproval. "That outfit looks and smells like it's been through a week of serious dungeoneering!"

Cinder's feathers shifted through annoyed dark violets, but she nodded and headed upstairs, leaving me alone with her mother.

"Now then," Anitta turned to me. "About that crystal feather pendant... In our Clan, preserving one's feather in crystal and gifting it to another is traditionally a declaration of intent to court. It's quite serious–almost like a pre-engagement gesture."

"Ah, I had no idea," I commented, smiling. "Cinder didn't mention that part."

"Of course she didn't," Anitta's feathers shifted through amused pinks and golds as she led me into the living room. "She's always been shy about such things! Just hang out in the living room while I finish off dinner." Her voice carried across the hall as she vanished into the kitchen.

“Hey Alex,” Lance said as I spotted him on the living room couch.

“Hey big brother,” I smiled at him. “Thanks for lending me your gear. It helped me out quite a bit on Arx plus after.”

“What happened after?” He asked.

“I’ll explain soon,” I said. 

"Ha ha, Cassie has a fiancee," Lenora's voice suddenly rang out as the young Black Shuck emerged with a cheeky grin from behind the couch, black dress and pink bows fluttering. "Hey, didn't you get kicked out of school today?" She demanded, her yellow eyes fixed on me.

"Abducted actually," I said. "Stratos tried to take me out."

Lance’s eyes went wide.

"Hrm. You don't look dead," Lenny said.

"Luckily for you," I smiled. "I turned it around on them."

"Luckily for me..." the Black Shuck tapped her chin and then her eyes lit up. "Oh. OH! You got me a present, didn't you?"

"I did," I smiled. "How'd you know about my school status, little hound?"

"I keep track of school online chatter," Lenora explained. "Gotta watch out for my big, dumb sister. So, you're a human then?"

Wow, straight to the meats, huh?

“Lenny, Alex is a mixed heritage student,” Lance pointed out, taking Lenora’s comment as a joke.

"I'm whatever Cassie wants me to be," I smiled at the young Black Shuck. "And whatever my Clan needs me to be to trick and defeat our enemies. Now, are you going to be on my side, little princess?"

"Hrmmm. That depends on the quality of your gift, I suppose," she mused with a sly expression.

I pulled out a small box from my dimensional bag and handed it to Lenora. She eagerly opened it and discovered the crystalline Ignix Kitlix inside.

Lenora's yellow eyes widened with delight and she pulled the Kitlix out, sending reflections across the room. "W-whaaaaa?! A Kitlix?! But they don't come in transparent!"

“Huh,” Lance said, staring at the crystalline creature. “I’ve never seen a clear Kitlix before.”

"This one's super special," I said. "No others like her anywhere on Arx. She was born in my mage tower!"

Lenora squeezed the crystalline kitten, making it wiggle and sparkle in her hands and sniffed. "Huh. So you're a Mage Lord then, now? This is a new development. I thought you were a mere poor Nazarite boy without an estate."

"Lord Protector actually," I whispered to her. "I'm building a whole city full of wonders. I'm considering naming our biggest luxury hotel after you."

"Ahh!" Lenora's eyes flashed with yellow rings as she smiled at me. "I'm thoroughly bribed now. Well done. You shall have my full support in your endeavours, Lord Protector."

She tapped me on the shoulder and jumped back onto the couch.

"Thank you, Princess," I bowed dramatically.

Just then, the looming form of Justice Nova entered the foyer, his orange eyes fixing on me with their usual intensity. "Alexander. I understand there was some trouble at school today?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle, sir," I smiled politely. "Though I would appreciate your legal assistance on a few matters, if you have time after dinner."

"Of course," he nodded, then noticed the crystal pendant. His eyes widened slightly.

"Isn't it wonderful, dear?" Anitta beamed at her husband. "Our Cassie made it herself!"

Justice Nova's expression was unreadable, but he definitely didn’t look pleased by this development.

Cinder came back downstairs then, wearing a fluttering, blue dress.

“Looking good, Ci,” I sent her a thumbs up which ignited her entire figure as she sat down next to me.

"You've finally outdone Lance," Lenora commented, elbowing her big sister. "Congratulations! Guess, you're not a total incompetent."

"What?" Cinder blinked at her little sister. “What are you talking about, Lenny?”

"Duh! You managed to snag a proper Mage Lord," Lenora explained, vigorously petting her clear Kitlix. "Didn't know that you had any Prima-ness in you. Thought you'd end up getting hitched to a lame parking lot attendant or Omnibucks manager at best. Way to overshoot all of my expectations, sis."

"A Lord?" Justice Nova stared at me, sharp eyes evaluating my overpriced suit.

"A recent development," I nodded. 

"Dinner is served!" Lady Nova called from the dining room, saving me from further interrogation. “Come, come!”

We filed into the grand dining room, where an impressive spread awaited us. Tonight's menu featured mana-rich seafood from sliced salmon to caviar of all sorts of colors from a multitude of worlds connected to Earth via magic gates.

"So, Alex. What kind of Kitlix is that?" Lance asked, staring at the crystalline critter now occupying his little sister's shoulder.

"Just an Ignix," I said.

"Right, but why is it transparent?"

"It's been Syntropically stabilized," I said.

"Syntropically stabilized?" Justice Nova said. "I wasn't aware that you could do that to a Kitlix."

"My entire Clan citadel on Arx was Syntropically stabilized," I said. "It was part of a ritual I had performed last week in my compound with my most trusted mages."

The Nova family stared at me.

"Mages? You have a citadel?" Justice Nova repeated slowly.

"Yes sir," I nodded. "Fully crystalline, self-maintaining wards, death ray on the roof, staffed with thousands of dedicated Arxkin employees and mages. Standard stuff really. I'm currently expanding my operations and hiring more mage staff to begin city and colony construction."

"Colony construction?" The Justice became more befuddled with each of my sentences, seemingly forgetting that he was supposed to be bothered by the pendant hanging from my neck.

"I own three dungeons on Arx connected to my citadel," I said. "I plan to establish a self-sustaining colony in one of them."

"Big plans..." Nathaniel said, eyeing me wearily. "I wasn't aware that your ambitions extended past being… a music manager for my daughter."

"Music management is just one of my many ambitious projects," I said, feeling Cinder's blue eyes digging into my side.

"I am curious. Where exactly did you acquire the resources for such... ambitious construction projects, Alexander?" Justice Nova asked.

"Interdimensional trade," I smiled, showing him a pile of celesteel cards from my pocket. "I had recently come into my father's inheritance which I managed to magnify a thousandfold."

"A thousandfold?" Justice Nova stared at the cards. "That's quite impressive for someone so young."

"My father taught me well," I lied smoothly. "He always emphasized the importance of strategic thinking and leveraging opportunities. Speaking of which, sir, I'd like to discuss some legal matters with you after dinner regarding my Clan's Earth-registration and land ownership."

"Your Clan?" Lady Nova's feathers shifted through curious pinks. "You've established your own Clan? At eighteen?!"

"Yes," I nodded. "The Order of Thunder and Rainbow. Thus far we specialize in interdimensional trade, artifact development, Kitlix rental, and rehabilitation services."

"Rehabilitation services?" Justice Nova sputtered, struggling to keep up with my pile of revelations.

"The last acquisition was incidental," I said. "The Stratos Clan saw an orphaned mixed-heritage boy with a lot of wealth, so they abducted him and brought him into their prison. Unluckily for them, I was fully armed with Lance’s gear and ready, so now I have full control of San Clemente Island."

Lance stared at me with a shocked expression. Lenora clapped. Cinder sighed.

"What?!" Justice Nova's fork clattered against his plate. "You... took control of a Stratos Clan juvie facility?"

"Indeed," I smiled pleasantly. "The paperwork was finalized by my lawyer today. I'd appreciate your legal expertise in reviewing the documents and approving the hostile takeover, sir."

"And what does the Stratos Clan think of this... acquisition?" Justice Nova asked.

"They're welcome to challenge my claim in battle or in court," I shrugged. "Though given the evidence I've collected of their illegal activities, and the fact that I took their Prima-daughter and facility staff hostage, I believe that they will have no choice but to surrender the island to my Clan."

Justice Nova's eyebrows looked like they were heading to the stratosphere. Lenora was happily petting her Kitlix while nomming fish slices. 

Lance looked between me and Cinder. "What," he uttered finally. "When did..."

"Right after we returned from Arx, Alex was abducted by an agent of the Stratos Clan from school," Cinder revealed. "He now has full control of their prison island."

Justice Nova's eyes dug into Cinder and then into the feather.

“And what exactly are your intentions with my daughter?" He asked, deciding to focus on the more clear matters.

"To make her happy and support her dreams," I replied without hesitation.

"By involving her in hostile corporate takeovers?" Justice Nova's voice carried a dangerous edge.

"I merely retaliated when struck," I shrugged. "As you would have, Justice. A man does not take a beating lying down."

"Dad!" Cinder growled as Justice Nova growled dangerously. “Be nice!”

"This," I pointed at the feather. "Was your daughter's gift to me. It too forces my hand."

"Forces your hand?" Justice Nova asked.

"Indeed," I nodded. "Your wife just informed me that a crystallized feather is a declaration of intent to court. Therefore, as a goodly Nazarite, I must formally request your daughter's hand in marriage as my Hearth Keeper."

Cinder choked. Lance gasped. Lenora nodded vigorously with a wide smile.

"WHAT?!" Justice Nova barked, his voice booming across the mansion, making the glassware shudder.

"I'd like to discuss the possibility of establishing a formal alliance between our Clans. I believe our combined resources could benefit both parties significantly," I said, digging into my extradimensional bag.

The Justice's face ignited with red.

“Here,” I produced a folder filled with detailed financial projections, property deeds, and corporate documentation.

"These are the current assets of the Order of Thunder and Rainbow," I explained, sliding the folder across the table to Nathaniel. "The report includes photographs of our facilities, our holdings on Arx and Earth, projected revenue streams, and development plans for the next forty years. Feel free to peruse all evidence before you make your decision."

Justice Nova dug into the folder.

I resumed my dinner. Lance stared at his dad then at me.

"This... this is quite extensive," Justice Nova’s eyes flashed rapidly left and right as he flipped through the folder. He must have had some kind of a magic skill to go through the paperwork so quickly.

"I believe in thorough preparation," I smiled, taking another bite of my extra-rare salmon steak. "Page thirty-seven details the proposed theoretical merger structure between our Clans."

"All of this feels too sudden and absurd to even believe," he said. "This says that the Clan’s corporate account was open... today?!"

I nodded.

“Is this some kind of a joke?” Lance muttered.

“Nope. It's all real," Lenora commented at her brother. "Not smelling any lies. If Ci doesn't want him I'll take him as a Prima."

"LENNY!" Lance and Cinder barked together.

"What?" The young Black Shuck shrugged. "He's a genuine Mage Lord and gives good presents. Perfect Prima material!"

"He's mine!" Cinder growled.

“Oh good,” Lenora smiled. “So you admit your dalliance before the family court? When can we expect little fluffy human-Quetzi babies for me to educate in the art of corporate war?”

“LENNY!” Cinder hissed, flashing brilliant orange-red.

I smiled at their verbal exchange. The rest of the Novas stared at me.

"I will be reopening the way to Arx tomorrow from San Clemente Island," I said. "You're welcome to attend the gate-opening ceremony, Justice. If you wish to see my credentials, feel free to call Father Matthias at the cathedral after dinner. He will absolutely confirm my donation of ten million O-bux to their youth outreach program."

"Ten million?" Justice Nova let out.

"A small fraction of my current holdings," I said. "One of many community outreach initiatives my Omnicorp will be helping out with, mentioned on page 39 of the folder."

"I see you're quite... prepared," Justice Nova let out, resuming his leafing through the documents and struggling not to bolt for his office phone. "Though I do notice there is a mention of a Prima here?"

"Vespera Simmi was my Prima," I nodded.

"Was?" Justice Nova frowned.

"Having reviewed my recent accomplishments, Thunder-Princess Vespera Simmi denounced her current engagement and forced me into accepting her as my Prima Sword," I explained. "Her father Lord Ceter Kalik Simmi disagreed with her decision, so he wiped her mind."

"Wiped her mind?!" Lady Nova's feathers flashed crimson with alarm.

"Yes," I nodded. "Lord Simmi had her memories erased without her consent. Which is why I need your legal assistance and expertise, Justice Nova. I intend to sue SimmiTech for damages. The soul-bond still exists from my end and is quite the easy case to prove."

"You're soul-bonded to Vespera Simmi?" Justice Nova uttered, once again careened into oblivion. "The Prima-heiress of SimmiTech Industries?"

"Yes," I nodded. "I am."

"And now you wish to bond with my daughter as well?" Justice Nova's voice carried a dangerous edge.

"Yes," I said.

Cinder's hand wrapped around mine. Justice Nova's eyes struck her, but she didn't flinch, wings spreading wide, right wing wrapping itself around me.

"Cassiopeia," Justice Nova's voice was sharp. "You cannot seriously be considering this madness!"

"Alexander has proven himself worthy," Cinder said. "I have chosen him as my Slayer. You cannot change my mind."

"You're only..."

"It's just an engagement," Lenny pointed out jovially. "What's the big deal, daddy? Isn’t Lancy already engaged to some Prima-knob?"

"The big deal, Lenora, if his story is to be believed, is that... Mr. Glock has somehow made enemies of two Omnicorps already!" Justice Nova growled.

"Through no fault of my own," I pointed out. "I am merely defending myself against their aggression. The Stratos Clan attempted to murder me, and SimmiTech violated their Prima-heiress's autonomy. As a Nazarite Novitiate and a gentleman, I cannot let such actions stand unchallenged!”

"And what makes you think you can challenge two major Omnicorps?" Justice Nova demanded.

"Four Omnicorps actually," I corrected. "On the account that I have discovered a multitude of horrific crimes perpetrated by the Frontenachii in North Acadia and irritated Golden Star when Vespera claimed me as hers. But the point is moot. I would challenge all of Omnithornia for those I care about. I'm a man of my principles. Are you a man of your principles, Judge?"

"WHAT?!" Justice Nova slammed his hands on the table. “Four Omnicorps?! I will not allow my…”

"Nathaniel Nova!" Lady Nova's voice cracked like a whip, her wings spreading wide and igniting with mind-melting colors, her figure stretching out. "Sit down and let the boy speak!"

Justice Nova slowly lowered himself back into his chair, orange eyes burning into me. 

Ha! The big Justice of Cradlefall was kept in check by his Hearth Keeper! So that's where Cinder's fiery temper came from!

"I understand your concerns, Justice," I said calmly, pulling out one folder after the other. "But consider this–would you prefer your daughter to be with someone who backs down from corporate bullies, or someone willing to stand up for what's right?"

I slid the folders over to the Justice.

“What’s this?” He asked me wearily.

"These contain evidence of the Frontenachii Clan's crimes in North Acadia, the Stratos Clan's illegal activities on Island of San Clemente, and SimmiTech's violations of soul-bond laws. As a Justice of Cradlefall, you have a duty to uphold the law, regardless of who breaks it."

Justice Nova looked at the folders.

"Each of these have already been officiated by a high level Scrutimancer who works for my Clan," I said. "And initiated as a lawsuit by Attorney Thornheart of SimmiTech Legal Division, who has agreed to represent my interests against his own corporation due to the egregious nature of these violations," I continued smoothly. "I believe you have a choice to make today, Justice Nova.”

Either you help me, or you ignore and attempt to bury these and lose the respect of your entire family. My eyes told him.

Checkmate.