Somebody Stop Them. Chapter 33: I Am The Warden Now

The inmates stared at me, their expressions ranging from shock to eager interest.

"What are you doing?" Cinder hissed at me as I pulled off my orange jumpsuit.

"Ah, right, introductions!" I said. "Misfits and Murderers, I'd like to introduce all of you to my lovely Hearth Shield Keeper! Cinderella!"

Cinder's eye twitched.

"Now, what are you calling in regards to, my starshine?" I grinned at Ci. "Did you miss me since our last conversation and want to shower me with wing-hugs and kisses?

Cinder flashed orange-red, her face lengthening from irritation.

"This isn’t the time for your stupid jokes! Vee's father took her from Skyfall," Cinder growled out. "Just stormed into Graves' office with guards and took her!"

"Did he now?" I frowned, rapidly undressing the Black Unicorn. "That's not ideal."

"Not ideal?!" Cinder's wings flared with angry colors. "He knocked us out with an EMP blast and just... took her!"

"At least she'll have a nap at home," I sighed. "She needs rest anyway."

"But what if they try to break the soul-bond?!" Cinder demanded.

"Then we'll make a new one," I said.

"What if they erase her mind?!"

"Then we'll fall in love again, like in that movie..."

"WHAT FUCKING MOVIE?!"

"Seventy seven first dates?" I rubbed my chin as I pulled on the slightly too big therapist's outfit, pinning it with pins from my pocket so it wouldn't flap around too much. "You know. A whimsical comedy from two thousand and four. It's got Antony Sandy in it dating this girl who can't remember anything past twenty four hours, cus she got struck by a magical curse in the head or something?"

Cinder growled at me.

"What do you want me to do, dragon-bae?" I asked her. "I need time to take over this prison island."

"Take over the..." Cinder's holographic form sputtered. "Are you insane?!"

"Quite possibly," I adjusted the therapist's cap. "But I have a plan. These fine individuals behind me are going to help."

The inmates perked up at that.

"What's in it for us?" Uliuss, the Grootslang asked.

"Eternal freedom, beast cores, and membership in my Clan," I said. "Plus dental."

"Dental?" Lilith raised an eyebrow.

"And a 401k," I added. "Also, weekly movie nights. No more dancing for rich assholes. If you want to study in Skyfall, I'll cover it. I'm a wealthy man."

I opened my cash-pocket, showing off my pile of shimmering cards.

"Holy shit," Lilith inhaled. "Are those celesteel cards... from Arx? Can't you buy a mansion in Shandria with one of those?"

"Ye," I nodded. "Robbing banks pays off. I see that you used to participate in delving class activities?”

“Yeah,” Lilith nodded. “Before I was sent to juvie in grade eleven.”

"Alex," Cinder flapped from the hologram on my wrist. "This is serious! Vespera could be in real danger!"

"I know," I said. "But rushing in half-cocked won't help. Our Clan needs more Sixies. These guys seem acceptable, right?"

"They're juvie convicts," Cinder pointed out with a frown.

"And?" I raised an eyebrow.

Cinder stared at me and my new prison-mooks with a judging look.

"I think that they're perfect for what we need," I explained. "Each one was wronged by the Omnithornian corps. Each one is a bit of a delinquent like you. Each has unique skills. For example, Lilith here can spread memetic nightmares. Mariana knows her way around wards and can control deep sea creatures. Royaul understands sonic manipulation. Viktor has inside knowledge of corporate security. Etc.”

"But..." Cinder protested.

"Trust me," I said. "I know what I'm doing. These fine folks are going to help me take over this facility, which will give us leverage against both the Stratos Clan and possibly SimmiTech."

The inmates exchanged interested looks.

"How exactly do you plan to take over a prison?" Ash, the Erlking, asked.

"I have a gun," I waved my arbalest. "This is a juvie housing Omnids under twenty one years old who are all relatively low or mid level like you. From what I saw so far, the guards only have pacifier batons. I'm the only person in this entire facility with a long range weapon and I have a lot of void-arrows that I bought for my big brother Lancy."

"But how do we get past the wards?" Mariana asked, her tentacles writhing. "The whole island is covered in anti-escape hexes."

"We're not escaping," I grinned. "We're taking over. Big difference. The wards likely prevent outward movement. They won’t stop us from accessing the control room or the warden's office. Hexcrete is kind of useless against Void arrows as I just learned. I could probably plow right through the walls straight to the Warden's office."

"Alex," Cinder's hologram flickered as she tried and failed to form a convincing argument.

"Just let him do it," Katherine commented. "It's not like we can stop him from where we are."

"But he can't just..."

"Can't what?" I asked cheerfully. "Take over a correctional facility? Create my own private army from reformed criminals? Watch me. This is a nice island. I'm confiscating it from the Stratos."

"You're... what?" Cinder sputtered.

"Basic Omnicorp Clan warfare," I said. "As 'I Love You' Clan leader, I have been unjustly placed under duress here. As such it is my prerogative to strike back and to claim their property as mine."

"And what if they drop a magitek nuke on you from a Sky-Glider?" Cinder barked.

"And destroy their own prison?" I asked. "Yeah, okay. Dragons like to cling to their shinies. Sides' this place probably has wards against all sorts of stuff. It's a prison. I could probably redirect the wards from keeping people out to keeping bombs from falling directly on my head."

"Ughh!" Cinder deflated. "There's no convincing you, is there?"

"Nope," I shook my head. "We need a nice Clan compound on Earth! This is going to be it. A nice island within a Glider's distance from Cradlefall? How can I resist?"

My future Hearth Keeper frowned.

"Plus," I added. "San Clemente Island has nice weather year-round."

"Alex..." Cinder's hologram flickered with a look of deep concern.

"Look, I'll call you back in a bit," I promised, finishing dressing up as a therapist. "Hugs and kisses. I got some rehabilitation to conduct."

I ended the call and turned to my potential recruits. "So, who wants to help me take over this lovely place to turn it into a compound for my Clan?"

"A rather bold move that’ll piss off the Stratos," Uliuss commented, looking down at me from his elephantine height.

"They pissed me off first," I said. "I don't take shit lying down. If they didn't gate me here, in an attempt to murder me, I'd have no rights to take over their island."

The inmates exchanged glances. Magdaline grinned, her sharp teeth glinting.

"Right then!" I clapped my hands together. "First order of business - let's talk about your feelings…”

“Feelings?” Mariana blinked.

“Feelings about taking over this place."

The Yara-ma-yha-who, Tate, stared at me. "You're... serious about this?"

"Dead serious," I nodded. "But first, everyone needs to swear loyalty to Clan I Love You. Can't have random Omnids running around my island causing unauthorized chaos, you understand. I prefer authorized chaos directed by yours truly. As your first day salary each of you will receive one of these overpriced dragon-balls to chew on."

I pulled out a shimmering beast core from my pocket. "So, who'll go first? Mags? Why don't you show our lovely ladies and gentlemen how it's done?"

"I, Magdaline Satosh,” the shark went down on one knee. “Do hereby pledge myself as Sixie to Clan ‘I Love You’ for all eternity."

I tapped her on the shoulder with my arbalest. "I, Alexander Glock, Slayer and Clan Leader of I Love You do hereby accept you eternal services and raise you from lowly Sixie to my trusted Knight and personal Scrutimancer.”

Magdaline’s entire face lit as she stared up at me. She didn’t expect this promotion so soon in the game. 

I handed a second beast core to her. Mags shoved it into her mouth with a wide, happy grin.

I turned to the other convicts.

"A rather odd Clan name but I'll bite," The Yara-ma-yha-who stepped forward. "Sounds better than living in a vent eating rats or therapy. I, Tate Lissthoric, hereby pledge myself as Sixie to Clan I Love You for all eternity."

One by one, the others followed suit, each pledging loyalty and receiving their yummy rewards. The cores vanished into eager mouths, eyes lighting up with renewed energy.

"Excellent!" I adjusted my stolen, ill-fitting therapist cap that kept sliding off due to my lack of horn. "Now, here's the plan. Magdaline, I bet you know the layout best as a Scrutimancer sharkie. Where's the ward control room? Don't take me straight to it, take me to a wall I can obliterate to get inside from behind."

Mags nodded, inhaling the air, red eyes igniting. She reached out to me with a large, white-blue hand and I felt her skill bouncing off me, amplifying itself. “Got it!” She smiled, letting go of my hand with a blush.

I picked up the knocked out therapist's tablet and made a bored face. "Onwards then!"

We moved through the gray corridors with purpose, my new Sixies falling into formation behind me. The facility staff barely glanced at our group - just another nondescript therapist leading a group of inmates to their next recreational activity.

Our group walked through the sterile corridors, passing security checkpoints with ease thanks to the therapist's uniform and ID badge. The inmates' expressions remained carefully neutral as we approached our target.

"Left here," Magdaline whispered, guiding us toward a maintenance corridor. "The ward control room is behind two walls."

I raised my arbalest, aiming at the hexcrete barrier. "Everyone ready?"

My new Sixies nodded, tensing for action.

"Remember," I said quietly, "non-lethal takedowns only. Bonk on the head, knock everyone out. We're reforming this facility, not adding to its body count. Plus, hostages are nice to have to sell back to the Stratos."

The void-bolt pierced the first wall with a whisper, followed by a thunderous implosion as the void core detonated. Then the second wall imploded with the second bolt. Alarms began blaring immediately.

We rushed into the ward control room. The ward techies definitely didn't expect Ocean's Eleven to come in directly through the solid hexcrete wall behind them.

Through the dust and debris, I spotted three startled technicians at their control panels.

"What? Who the shit... how?!" The ward administrator standing in the center yelped. 

The Mapinguari and Bies moved swiftly, knocking them out before they could reach the control panel. I walked over to the knocked out administrator and put his hat on, noting the man’s name “Eron Kotiff” on his badge.

“I’m the Warden now,” I grinned at my mooks.

“Now," I said, approaching the main control console. "Mariana, can you interface with these systems?"

The Scylla's tentacles flew across multiple keyboards. "Basic ward architecture... fairly standard stuff. Give me five minutes."

"You have two," I replied, checking my arbalest's void-bolt supply. "The guards will be here soon."

"Tate, Ash - watch the door," I ordered. "Viktor, Renmar - secure the technicians. Everyone else, spread out and barricade entry points."

The sound of running footsteps echoed down the corridor.

"Incoming!" Lilith called out.

"Mariana! Lock down the door," I barked to the Scylla as her tentacles danced across the control panels.

"Working on it!" she called back, multiple dark limbs covered in small finger-like tentacles flashing frantically over the controls.

The first wave of four guards burst through the doorway, pacifier batons crackling. Ten Omnids met them head-on, their enhanced strength from the beast cores giving them the edge.

"Got it!" Mariana's tentacles flew across the final sequence. Heavy security barrier-doors slammed down, sealing the front entrance to the control room.

"Excellent," I said, looking over the map. "Now, declare an emergency and give me the speaker."

Mariana handed me the magitek mike.

"Yulia copy the yelling voice of the Ward Administrator," I whisper-ordered my AI in Kaska.

"Voice copier active," Yulia replied. "Generating voice. Voice generated."

"Attention..." I began typing into my phone.

"Attention all security and facility personnel. This is Ward Administrator Eron Kotiff. The enemies of Stratos Clan are threatening to use biological weapons known as Duskbloom from Arx to take control of the island. Please report immediately to secure meeting room 4-B for an emergency briefing!" Yulia announced over the facility's communication array. "All inmates are to return to their cells right away!"

I watched through a thousand camera screens on the wall as guards and administrators got up from their posts and offices rapidly heading towards the safe room in the basement. The inmates rushed to their cells. 

I turned the microphone off.

"Holy sheet," Tate commented, watching the monitors. "They're just... obeying? Just like that? That's it?"

"People obey orders. They trust their Ward Administrator’s voice," I shrugged. "This is just a minimum security rehabilitation facility filled with troublesome teens that Cradlefall doesn't want to see on its streets, not a maximum security prison. Nobody expects us to actually try taking it over the ward from the inside so blatantly using magitek dungeon-delving weapons from Arx designed to punch through giant monsters."

"Except for this man it seems," Mariana commented, pointing a tentacle at one of the cameras.

A single officer hasn't left his post. He was just sitting in his office, staring unnervingly at the camera with blood red eyes.

I walked closer to the screen wall and recognized the man right away. Megalodon Scrutimancer Satosh.

"We should do… something about him," Magdaline said, her voice tight with tension.

"We will," I agreed. "Your dad seems quite determined."

"Always has been," Mags sighed.

"There isn't much he can do from over there though," I said. "And it doesn't look like he's calling the Stratos to warn them about my takeover. He's just... sitting there. How odd."

I studied Satosh through the security feed. He sat perfectly still in his office, those cold eyes fixed on the camera as if he could see right through it to me.

I looked at the other cameras. The prison's offices and halls were now empty. Meeting room 4-B was packed to the brim with confused personnel.

"Lock down 4-B," I told Mariana. "Seal them in. Maximum wards around that room."

Mariana smiled at me and pressed a bunch of buttons. Blast shields rolled across the door of room 4-B, sealing everyone who could stop me within the meeting room.

"And done," I smiled. "The place is now ours. Lockdown the other inmates so they don't get in our way."

Mariana nodded. Red lights flashed across cells in camera view.

"What?" Mags blinked. "You just... trapped them all in a single safe room. Like… that?"

"Just like that," I nodded. "A prison riot would have been more fun to watch, but this is faster."

Magdaline started to laugh. The other Misfits and Murderers stared at each other and at me. Uliuss high-fived Viktor.

"Now what?" Lilith asked, her serpentine tail swishing back and forth.

"Now we deal with Scrutimancer Satosh," I said. "Mariana, patch me through to his office and give me audio. Mags, want to chat with your dad?"

"I..." Magdaline hesitated. "What are you planning to do to him?"

"Offer him a job," I shrugged. "He's clearly talented. Plus, he's your dad. Can't have my Knight's dad unemployed, can I?"

"You want to hire the man who put you in here to kill you?" Renmar rumbled.

"Why not?" I shrugged. "He's just doing his job. Following orders. Trying to provide for his lovely daughter."

Magdaline blushed even harder.

"And ready," Mariana said.

I tapped the activation hexagram on the mike, watching the little crystal turn green.

"Good day Scrutimancer Satosh," I said. "This is Warden Alexander Glock speaking."

"Ah, Warden," Satosh exhaled, still unnervingly staring at me through the camera feed with blood-red glowing eyes. "You work fast, human."

"That I do," I agreed.

"Wait," Mags blinked. "Dad... you knew?!"

"Of course I knew," Satosh said via the speaker. "I'm a Scrutimancer. I could smell his humanity from the moment he arrived. But that wasn’t all. I could also smell... hope. I brought Alexander Glock to this island because it had to happen."

"Had to happen?" I asked. "What? You wanted me to take over this place?"

"I wanted things to change," Satosh said, staring at us from the screen. "I'm tired of serving the dragon princess. I want to see my daughter smile for once. I want my wife back."

"Dad?" Magdaline stepped closer to the mike. "What are you talking about? You..."

"I worked two jobs," Satosh said. "I served that blasted girl as her personal Scrut. Did so many awful, terrible things for Emerald Stratos... all to reach this point."

"You... you fed me forty one humans because..." Mags choked.

"Because I wanted a future for both of us," Satosh said. "Those humans were irredeemable monsters. This one is... different." He pointed at me with a blue-white finger as if he knew exactly where I stood.

"Dad! I don’t understand… I thought that you hated humans," Mags stammered out.

"I hate human criminals and the ruthless gangs of Scab Row," Satosh sighed. "But Alexander Glock isn't a human, is he? He's something more."

"So my jacket never deceived you?" I smiled.

"Not really," Satosh shrugged. "I smelled the thunder and rainbow in you. You're soul-bound to two Omnids. If you managed to win the love of two Omnid girls, then you're not a complete monster. Not like the bastards who killed my wife. Perhaps, a bastard I can work with, yes? One that won’t enslave me like the dragons?”

"Yes," I nodded. "So you knew that I would succeed?"

"I brought you here because Emerald ordered me to," Satosh said. "I knew you would either die or take over. Either I would have a new Clan Leader to serve or get my girl another year of Skyfall education. Besides, you don't seem like the dying type."

"He's really not," Magdaline agreed, struggling to keep her blush down as she chewed on two beast cores.

"So what now?" I asked. "Want to join my Clan as a Sixie too?"

"No," Satosh shook his head on the screen. "But I will serve as your Scrutimancer if you help me get my wife back."

"The one in White Hall?" I asked.

"Yes," Satosh nodded. 

“Get her back, how?”

"She cannot remember me. You will have the same problem soon."

"The same problem... Oh. You know about Vespera?" I asked.

"Yes," Satosh nodded. "I have little magic eyes concealed all over Skyfall. Your Prima Sword was taken from you. Her mind will be overwritten by her father. She will not remember you."

"She will remember me," I said firmly. "Love isn't just memories. It's deeper than that."

"Such confidence," Satosh smiled sadly. "I thought the same once."

"I'm not you," I replied.

"No," Satosh said. "You are not me. You are a very clever and incredibly dangerous Slayer, one I'd like to work for. One that I've been waiting for since I lost my wife."

"Well then," I said. "You're hired. Welcome aboard, Scrutimancer. Hrm. How did you fool the Stratos? Don't they have some kind of compulsion magic on you like blood contracts or something?"

"I agreed to be Emerald's kobold," Satosh said. "A kobold cannot disobey a dragon's orders. I have obeyed her every word for a decade. But now I'm finally free, because Emerald serves you as a Sixie."

I whistled. "Long term plans, there Scrut."

"There will be those like me in Omnithornia, desperate Omnids who will join your Clan," Satosh nodded, red eyes moving across my ex-prisoner companions and settling on his daughter. "And there will be those that will do everything in their power to stop you just to cling to their power."

"Let them try," I said. "I've got a nice island fortress now."

"And what will you do with it?" Satosh asked.

"Turn it into a proper rehabilitation facility," I replied. "One that actually helps troubled Omnids. Maybe add some beach-front property, build some nice condos."

"It's a rocky island," Mariana said, waving a tentacle at the cameras facing the outer perimeter.

"I'll add a beach," I shrugged.

"A bold plan," Satosh commented. "The Stratos won't take this lying down."

"I know," I grinned. "That's why we're going to work hard to make this place quadruple impregnable. Mariana, how are those wards looking?"

"Reconfigured to maximum security," the Scylla reported, her tentacle-fingers tapping across multiple control panels. "Nobody gets in or out without your authorization now, Mr. Fox. I blocked all incoming gates."

"What's this place powered by?" I asked.

"Two lay lines under the island plus beast cores funded by the Stratos. If you want to increase the ward power, we should insert more cores into the dragonheart engine."

"Which is where?" I asked.

"Right under us," the Scylla said. "I'll bring it up."

She began tapping at the controls.

A hexagon in the center of the room surrounded by yellow and black striped iron railings hissed open. A hexagonal black column emerged from its innards, with a cloud of steam and another panel opened within it.

"Pour the beast cores into there," Mariana advised.

"How many?" I asked.

"As many as you can spare," she said. "More is better. The engine will burn through them to reinforce the perimeter ward."

I pulled out a handful after handful of beast cores from my pocket and poured them into the receptacle. The black column hummed, lines of blue light racing up its surface.

"The wards are at 425% strength now," Mariana confirmed, rapidly adjusting the ward. "Nobody's getting through those without some serious firepower. Not unless they want to spend about sixty million o-bux on bunker-busters trying to breach the shields."

"Excellent," I nodded. "Now, let's see what other facilities we have to work with. Show me the prison layout."

Mariana brought up a detailed map of San Clemente Island on the main screen. The facility sprawled across the northern tip, complete with dormitories, cafeteria, workshops, and medical wing.

"Not bad," I mused. "Plenty of room to expand."

"Say, Scrut," I addressed Satosh as the dragonheart engine slid back into place after eating 3/4 of my pocket-core collection. "If you can sniff the future this well, why didn't you prevent the human gangsters from attacking your wife to begin with?"

"I've made many enemies in my line of work over the years, put many criminals away, crossed dangerous deviants I shouldn't have crossed… because I had integrity. There was no escaping their eventual retribution. I sniffed out many futures," Satosh's voice came through, heavy with regret. "In most of them, my wife and daughter died. In this one... they live, even if broken. I chose the path where my family survived. Where my daughter might find hope, even if that hope is in a human who can do magic."

"Dad..." Magdaline blinked tears out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Maggie," Satosh sighed. "It had to be this way. This was the best path forward for our family. I'm sorry that I've used you, fed you humans. I hope that you can forgive me someday for what I've done."

"I… forgive you," Magdaline said softly into the microphone, blinking more tears out of her red eyes. "You were just trying to help me in your own messed up way. Why didn’t you… tell me?”

“Saying such things leaves an imprint in the Astral for others to see,” Satosh shrugged. “I had to make sure that nobody could stop me, and always wore anti-scrying runes on me.”

"So, what am I going to do next?" I grinned.

"Deal with my owner," Satosh said. "Declare war on the Stratos."

"Darn sneaky Scruits ruining the plot ahead of schedule," I said. "So… What do I smell like in the deepest Astral?"

"Like a… number eight," Satosh said.

"Eight?" I asked, intrigued.

"Yes," Satosh nodded.

"Interesting," I mused. "I've never considered myself to be that particular number. And what does that mean exactly?"

"It means you're unpredictable, dire change," Satosh said. "It means you're marked by the Dagaz rune."

"A Dagaz rune?" I blinked. "So there are others like me?”

"There are," Satosh nodded. "The wielders of Dagaz are hard to predict because it is very easy to get trapped in the infinite loop produced by the imprint of this particular number in the Astral."

"And yet you somehow predicted what I would do?" I asked. "Otherwise we wouldn't be talking right now."

"It took me decades," Satosh shrugged. "The key was accepting Dagaz into your heart, to go along with the pattern. Fighting against Infinity only leads to disaster."

"So," I said, "What disasters await us in the nearby future?"

"The Stratos will try to retake their facility," Satosh replied calmly. "SimmiTech will attempt to break your soul-bond with Vespera by erasing her mind. Golden Star and SimmiTech will attempt to have you assassinated."

"And will they succeed or fail?" I asked.

"I don't know the exact details," Satosh sighed. "I just know that there is hope. It takes a lot of mana to accept Infinity into my heart and even more to hear her voice, to see what's behind the Number."

"Her voice?" I blinked. “What? Number Eight has a voice?”

"Sheela na gig," Satosh explained. "Infinity. Change. Dawn. The girl with endless faces behind the black hole."

"This just gets weirder and weirder," Lilith commented. "It sounds like... the Scrut is under the control of an Outsider."

"Perhaps I am," Satosh shrugged. "It's hard to see all of the strings concealed behind physical reality. Maybe we're just some God's puppets being pulled along the strings of a particular narrative, words on a page.”

I laughed. Somehow Satosh had outdone me on the meta-narrator, 4th wall breaking business, the cheeky shark bastard. 

“So, who’s the narrator of our curious tale?” I asked. “Does he or she have a name? Is it Eight?”

“No. Most Omnid Clans keep imprisoned gods in their basement, powering their... wards. Who's to say that these old families are not being manipulated by the pieces of the Wormwood Star Leviathan in some unseen manner across millennia?"

"Huh," I said. "That's not weird and creepy at all. What does the Golden Star have?"

"They call her Uriel," Satosh said. "The All-seeing Eye of God."

"And the Stratos?" I pressed.

"They have Metatron," Satosh replied. "The Voice of God."

"And what does Metatron say about me?" I wondered.

"I don't know," Satosh shook his head. "I've never been allowed near the Stratos' vault. Only their Prima-born are permitted to consult their imprisoned god. I do know that speaking to these entities has a price."

"Which is what?" I asked.

"Mortality," Satosh said. "Those that speak with imprisoned gods cut their lives short, accelerate their paths towards their deaths. It's why most of the Ach-Elder of generations past the 1940's are dead. They burned through their lives fighting each other during World War Two, trying to predict their enemy’s movies, trying to shake the Archangels for better weapons.”

"And what do the Simmis have?" I asked.

"Archangel Zadkiel," Satosh revealed. "The All-Remembering One. A shard of the Leviathan's brain lobe. They use her power to optimize their bloodline, to make their children more clever, better at magitek crystallography and Dreamancy. That's why they're so obsessed with genetic purity and arranged marriages."

"That's why Vee is so good at mapping out crystal architecture and diving into dreams," I deduced.

"Your fiancee is the result of generations of Simmi breeding," Satosh nodded. "The brightest star that took a lot of magic to produce."

"So... what you're saying is that Vespera was... manufactured?" I pondered.

"Yes," Satosh revealed. "Each generation of the Firstborn Clans is magically stronger, but there are less and less children being born. Such optimization has a price. Ritual magic tied to lunar shard alignment. Sacrifice. Burning through more and more beast cores. Each new brilliant heir costs more to produce, just as it costs more to produce smarter artificial intelligence engines.”

"I see why Skyfall seems to have so many empty classrooms," I whistled.

"Indeed," Satosh nodded through the screen. "The diety-Omnidtype population has been declining for centuries. Fresh blood is needed, but the Clans are set on the path to produce the most optimal heirs, ones who will inherit the Earth, ones who will prevent the end of everything. Who will either figure out how to move the planet back to where it was hundreds of years ago or how to gate the entirety of Cradlefall to another habitable world."

"The end of everything?" I blinked.

"Our Earth is in freefall towards the mesh of doomed worlds," Satosh said coldly. "Past a certain point, nobody can see the future. The small Celestorms currently ravaging the planet at random are just the beginning. They will get worse and when they do, terrible, hungry, unstoppable things will begin to manifest."

"Yep," Lilith said to herself quietly. "Def sounds like Outsider apocalyptic nonsense."

"Outsider-infected or not," I said. "Satosh is a helpful creature on our side. Right then. Are you done pounding doomsday-lore into my head?"

Satosh nodded.

I whispered to call Cinder into my Quartermaster tag.

"Yes?" Cinder's holographic form appeared atop of my wrist looking worried. "Did you start a riot already? Is that why you're calling me? To show me how much shit you set on fire already?"

"No riots. No fires. Only had to break a couple of walls. Everything's fine," I assured her. "We've taken over the facility. I've got control of the wards, a bunch of new Sixies, and Satosh on our side."

"You... what?" Cinder blinked.

"Turns out Satosh wanted me to take over this place," I explained. "He's been playing the long game, waiting for someone like me to come along."

"That's... convenient," Cinder said suspiciously.

"Indeed," I nodded. "Also, apparently all the major Clans have imprisoned gods in their basements. Did you know about that?"

"WHAT?!" Cinder's wings and head-feathers flared.

"Is your dad keeping a bound god in his basement?" I asked.

"Umm," Cinder blinked. "Not that I'm aware."

"What about the Novas in general?"

"Xastigar's family owns a buttload of shares in Omnimart," Cinder pondered. "Great grandad Nathaniel Senior has a compound Citadel where he and his wives produce... Lazarus Bracelets."

"Aha," I said. "I was wondering where those came from. Does some preggo elderbeast god-centipede birth them in the Nova compound basement or something?"

"I don't effing know," Cinder stared at me. "I don't get invited to the Nova compound! Since I murdered my precog-chosen fiancee, they sort of gave up on me and focused all of their attention on... Lance."

"Archangel Azrael is kept beneath the Citadel of the Nova Compound," Satosh commented. "The Soul Shepherd."

"I should get an Archangel," I commented, rubbing my chin. "I have the envy itch now."

"All of the large shards of the Wormwood Star Leviathan’s body have long been claimed," Satosh stated.

Then I'll find my own god and imprison them!" I grinned. "How hard can it be?"

"Alex..." Cinder stared at me with growing concern. "Please don't try to imprison any gods."

"But everyone else has one!" I protest-whined. "I want one too!"

Cinder made an Uggghh-adjacent noise. Katherine, the edge of her face visible in the holo frowned.

"You guys are such downers," I commented at them. "Damn it, I want Vee back. Too much gloomy rain over there without any merry rays of sunshine. Please put Emmy on if she’s nearby.”

Emerald's face appeared on the holo, the dragon girl held by her scruff by Kat's armored hand.

"Sup dragon-bae," I grinned at her.

"What do you want?" Emerald growled through the holo.

"Just checking in on my favorite Sixie," I smiled. "How's your slave collar doing? Hope it's not too itchy."

"It's effing horrible," she hissed. "I can't use my dragonfire!"

"You sound a tad off," I commented. "A bit nasally? Did you catch a cold?"

"No, you fuck!" Emerald snarled. "Your effing girlfriend broke my nose and didn't bother to heal it properly!"

"Which one?"

"Ci," Emerald glared in the direction of Cinder.

"And she's going to break it again if I tell her what you did," I said.

"What?" Emerald paled.

"I talked to Satosh," I said.

"You... WHAT?" the dragon princess choked.

"The fuck did she do now?" Cinder demanded.

"Unless you want me to tell Ci what you did," I said. "You better cooperate."

"I... I'll cooperate," Emerald nodded rapidly. "Please don't tell her!"

"Tell me what?!" Cinder snarled.

"Don't worry about it," I said. "As much as I want to smack Emmy for her crimes, now isn't the time for that. Please tell me everything that happened at Skyfall after I was gated away."

Ci sighed and began to narrate the events of the day with Katherine interjecting comments about what Cinder had forgotten or missed on.

I listened. They were done in about ten minutes.

"Very good," I said. "Yulia, please locate and dial the number of Attorney Thornheart."

My phone dialed the number in a few seconds.

"Attorney Thornheart speaking," the Omnid appeared on the screen.

"Greetings," I said. "This is Alexander Glock. I'd like to report illegal detention at Cradlefoot Youth Rehabilitation Facility."

"Ah! Mr. Glock!" Thornheart's image straightened. "We've been trying to reach you. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I replied cheerfully. "In fact, I've taken control of the facility."

"You've... what?" The Bunyip lawyer blinked.

"Seized control," I clarified. "I now control this island and everything on it. The Stratos Clan used it for illegal activities, so I'm confiscating it as my new Clan compound."

Thornheart stared at me with wide, dark brown eyes.

"Since you work for my fiancee and therefore work for me," I said. "I'd like for you to organize the paperwork necessary for the legalization of my actions here."

"I... see," Thornheart said slowly. "And what exactly would you like me to file?"

"A complaint against the Stratos Clan for illegal imprisonment, attempted murder, and operation of an unauthorized disposal facility," I replied cheerfully. "Plus whatever else you can think of. I want to tie them up in as much legal red tape as possible."

"That's... quite ambitious," Thornheart noted.

"I'm an ambitious person," I smiled. “Plus I do have the cash to pay you.”

I waved a few celesteel cards in front of the screen.

"Do you have evidence of their crimes?"

"How else would I be here?" I asked. "Do you think I walked across the ocean like Lord Nazareth and asked them to let me in or something?"

"No, um," Thornheart smiled. "I already have evidence for that. I could use more evidence of any illegal activities taking place on the island."

"Ah," I nodded, turning to my Misfits. "Which one of you is really good at running and flipping through folders to take photos? Raise your hands."

Several hands shot up among my new Sixies.

"Perfect. Tate, Ash - take these phones," I pulled our extra phones with Yulia on them. "Go to the Warden's office and start taking photos of all the paperwork you can find. Move down other Admin offices and document everything. Lilith, check the medical wing for disposal records. Renmar, Viktor - search the guards' quarters. Mariana, see if you can pull up ward records or videos of Satosh or any other guards gating people in to be disposed of."

My new team scattered to their tasks while I turned back to Attorney Thornheart.

"You'll have complete documentation within the hour," I promised. "Plus witness testimonies from the staff once I convince them to cooperate. For now, I'd like for you to listen to the testimony of Magdaline Satoshi. Mags, tell the good lawyer what you've been doing in cell twenty five, will you?"

Magdaline stepped forward to address Attorney Thornheart on my phone.

"I was used as a disposal system," she said quietly. "Forty-one humans were brought to my cell during lunch hours. I... consumed them, unable to fight my Omnid hunt urges. Dad… worked for the Stratos Clan, bringing me criminals and undesirables they wanted eliminated."

"I see," Thornheart's expression darkened. "And you have evidence of this?"

"The walls of cell twenty-five retain Astral imprints," Magdaline nodded. "Any competent Scrutimancer can read them. Plus there's the incinerator chute where I disposed of... remains."

"I've been forced to do many terrible things as kobold of Emerald Statos," Satosh said from the screen, which had now been enlarged by Mariana. "Compelled by magic into monstrous deeds."

"You… What?!" Emerald’s hologram on my wrist choked. "You can't tell them!!!"

Cinder smacked her hard. "Yes he can. Order Satosh to tell the lawyer everything about your crimes."

"I'd prefer a permission to email an outline of my crimes to Mr. Thornheart," Satosh said.
That should be enough. I’ve been preparing the documents for over a decade.”

"No... I..." Emerald choked.

"Unless you want me to rip out your left eye right now to stuff it into your mouth," Cinder snarled. "You will tell this man that he's allowed to email everything to Thornheart."

"F-fine!" Emerald choked as Cinder drew her magisteel-armored hand back, aiming at her eye. "Satosh, you have my permission to email everything to Thornheart!"

"Excellent," Thornheart nodded. "Mr. Glock, you should receive the evidence files immediately. With it, you can file multiple charges against the Stratos Clan."

"Perfect," I smiled. "Oh, and one more thing - I need you to file paperwork for establishing a new Clan compound here. Transform this facility into something more... constructive."

"Such as?" Thornheart asked.

"A rehabilitation center," I grinned. "No need to change existing permits or whatever."

"Very well," Thornheart nodded.

"Also," I said. "I'd like to sue Emerald Stratos for one hundred billion O-bux."

"W-what?" Emerald choked.

"You heard me," I said cheerfully. "One hundred billion O-bux. For emotional damages, attempted murder, false imprisonment, and generally being a dick to me in classes."

"That's... that's insane!" Emerald sputtered through the holo. "I don't have that kind of money!"

"No, but your family does," I smiled. "And I want it. All of it. Every last O-bux."

"The Stratos Clan will never pay!" Emerald protested. “They have the best lawyers and can hold up the case in court for ages!”

"Then I'll take it in assets," I shrugged. "Starting with this lovely island facility. You own shares in it, don't you Emmy?"

"I..." Emerald choked out.

"Well, do you?" I asked. “Do you want me to tell Ci what you…”

Emerald nodded rapidly. “I have shares in that stupid prison island, yes!”

"We can settle the suit now then. I can drop some of the charges against you. Just sign the island ownership off to me as collateral."

"I... I don't freaking own the entire island you idiot!" Emerald snarled, her eyes filling with tears.

"No, but you own enough shares to make the start of my hostile takeover legal," I pointed out. 

"Plus, once the evidence of illegal activities here comes to light, the Stratos Clan will have a hard time contesting my claim."

"My family will destroy you!" Emerald hissed.

"They'll have to get in line," I grinned. "So are we settling this lawsuit now or what?"

"I can't just... give you my shares!"

"Sure you can," I smiled. "Unless you want Cinder to continue exploring your facial reconstruction options while Kat slowly drowns you in the deep?”

Emerald glanced fearfully at Cinder's raised fist as shadows around her deepened.

"Fine!" she spat. "I'll sign over my shares you ass! But this isn't over!"

"Of course it isn't," I agreed. "This is just the beginning of our wonderful journey together. Ladies, call up Io and meet up with him. I'll need him to open a gate from my new villain Citadel island to Skyfall. I'll put ‘Day After Tomorrow’ for him to target on my phone screen!”