Chapter 156 - No Middle Ground

Morrigan had never thought much about dating before Emma. Though, she was aware of certain expected milestones in a relationship. Holding hands, the first kiss, bringing her home to meet her mother…

That last one is definitely one she'd planned to skip because… well…

A gagging sound echoed from upstairs, followed by a few wet coughs.

Morrigan winced. “Sorry.”

Emma blinked, then offered a crooked smile that was doing its best to be supportive. “Hey, don't worry. It's not like you were the one who served the drinks.”

“Sure, but… I don't know. Feels like I'm just always pulling you into some kind of drama.”

“Hey, not like I haven't had my own.”

“I'm sure I've got you beat,” Morrigan said drly.

Emma winked. “Sorry, but you have 99% of the world beat by this point.”

Morrigan couldn't help smirking at that.

“Besides,” Emma continued, “trauma bonding is the foundation for any strong relationship!”

They heard the bathroom door open upstairs, and Hilda came out with a thumbs-up. “She'll be alright. Apparently, that was a full bottle this morning, so it's good she's getting some out of her system.”

“Seriously?” Morrigan asked. Then she realized there was no way she drank that much in the time she texted her and they got here. That meant she was probably already drunk when she sent those ominous texts. That made Morrigan wonder just how long she had known. Maybe she found out days ago and finally spiraled over the whole thing.

Morrigan frowned, feeling guilt creep up in her again.

There was the sound of the toilet flushing, and then Anna came out, supporting herself on the railing as she staggered down the steps. “Damn it…” she muttered.

“Hey, sure you don't want to lie down?” Hilda asked, keeping herself close to the steps in case she had to jump to the rescue if Anna fell.

Anna mumbled something and pushed past her once she got down the steps. She stopped and looked at Emma again.

Emma put on her best smile as Anna stared blankly at her. “Um. If there's anything I can do for you, just let me know, Miss Livingston!"

Anna chuckled dryly. “Sure. Erase today from your memory. First impressions and all that.” She then continued to the kitchen. 

“Um… Mom?” Morrigan asked, watching as her mom grabbed a glass from the cabinet and brought it to the sink. “I was just wondering… um…”

“How I knew you were with Evelyn?” She asked, filling the cup with water.

“Uh… yeah. And I really was going to tell you, by the way.”

“Hm. I knew since yesterday. Some stupid shit at CPS let it slip. Should probably lose his job. Second I heard the word ‘grandmother,’ I fucking lost it.”

“I mean… She hasn't treated me poorly or anything. If you're worried about that.”

Anna sighed, then took a long sip of water before answering. “It's complicated, kiddo.” Then she pointed to the door. “Grab that bowl for me. Don't want it to spoil.”

“Bowl? Oh. Right…” Morrigan nodded and stepped outside. She reached down to grab the bowl of meat but paused.

It was empty.

Morrigan looked left and right, scanning across the fence line.

Weird.

She grabbed it and went back inside. “Um, looks like someone got it.” She explained, tilting the bowl for her mom to see.

“Hm. Sneaky runt.” Anna chuckled and dropped into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. “Bones is kinda skittish. Not the first time he did that. Probably was hiding out and waiting.”

“Bones?”

“Yeah, that's what I call him. He's all skin and bones. Doesn't matter how much I feed him.” She sighed, resting her cheek heavily on her palm. “Won't come in either. Would let him stay here if he did.”

There was a silence as Anna reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, fumbling with it as she slipped one out one-handed. 

“Hey… Mom? I don't really get what happened between you and Evelyn.”

Her mom got that blank gaze in her eyes as that same hand fished a lighter out of her pocket and lit the cigarette. After taking the first drag and blowing out the cloud of smoke, she answered, “A lot of things happened, and a lot of things didn't happen.”

“I… don't know what that's supposed to mean.” Morrigan didn't know what she expected, but felt herself getting frustrated by the non-answers. But then, seeing that faraway look in her mom's eyes… she couldn't be mad about it. “Never mind. I mean, it's your business. Whatever it was.”

“I'll say this, kiddo. There was a time—long time ago—I could have let her back into my life. Probably wouldn’t be close either way, but…” She sighed. “The first time she tried to take you, that was over. No more chances.” She took a drag of her cigarette.

Morrigan's eyes narrowed. Evelyn didn't tell her that part. Actually, she didn't tell her about trying to take the house either until Morrigan herself brought it up.

Damn it… Why the hell did I let Evelyn win me over?

“I'm sorry Mom,” Morrigan muttered.

“I said it's not your fault, kid. At least you're not on the streets.” Her face slid down her arm until she was using her bicep as a pillow directly on the table, her cigarette hovering over the ashtray. “Apparently I couldn’t even do that much right…”

Morrigan blinked, watching her.

“I tried… I really tried…” she muttered as her eyes half-lidded and then closed.

Morrigan frowned and looked towards the kitchen doorway where Emma and Hilda were hovering just outside. Hilda came in first, patting Morrigan’s shoulder as she walked by her, then slipped the cigarette from between Anna’s limp fingers before smothering it in the ashtray. She whispered to Morrigan, “Maybe you should call Evelyn and make sure she’s not contacting the cops or anything. I’ll get her to the couch.”

Morrigan nodded and left the kitchen, walking through the living room with Emma trailing behind her. “You okay?” Emma asked.

“Yeah. Just glad she’s okay… Well… I mean, it could have been worse anyway.”

Emma nodded as she followed Morrigan out the front door. Alice was standing outside the jeep now, arms folded, still in the oversized Ride the Lightning t-shirt and still holding an impressively steady glare.

“The car became far too hot,” she said drly.

Emma winced and innocently said, “Oh! Sorry, I guess we should have cracked the window.”

Alice raised an eyebrow as if wondering whether Emma was making fun of her or not. Whatever the case, she let it go and let her gaze drift away from them.

Morrigan stared at the phone for a moment and took a deep breath. She didn’t really want to talk to Evelyn now. After the extra bits of information about their past she received today, she wasn’t sure she ever even wanted to see her again. Sure, she had seemed nice… A little strict in some maybe excusable ways… but Morrigan had found herself starting to trust her. That was completely out the window now.

Still, she didn’t want to risk the older woman getting paranoid and having police show up to make the situation even worse.

She put the phone to her ear, and it only rang once before Evelyn answered. “Morrigan? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Mom’s here at home.”

“And she’s alright?” Evelyn asked, her voice cautious, probing.

Morrigan glanced back into the house; Hilda was guiding her mom to the couch. Morrigan kept her voice steady but carefully casual. “Yeah, she’s fine. Her phone just died, and she couldn’t find her charger. I just overreacted a little when she didn’t get back to me right away. But everything’s fine here.”

Another pause. “Morrigan… The message she sent didn’t sound like nothing.”

“I know,” Morrigan said quickly. “I mean… she was a little upset when she heard I was with you. But I smoothed everything over. It wasn’t a big deal. I think the whole thing just hit her weird but… uh… you know, I think she understands why I’m staying with you.”

She could practically hear Evelyn weighing her words on the other end.

“So you’re sure she’s not a danger to herself?”

Morrigan hesitated—just for a second—but it passed. “Positive.” She wasn’t actually positive at all. But she couldn’t say that to Evelyn. Even if she is meaning well—which Morrigan had some creeping doubts about—she could still end up making things worse.

Evelyn still didn’t sound convinced. “You know I’m only asking because I’m worried. You know I love Anna and you as well. If anything were to happen.”

“My friend Hilda’s going to keep checking up on her. Everything’s fine. Just… Just stay out of it.” She winced at herself, since that came out a little harsher than she intended. “I mean… what I mean is, I think you intervening any more will just end up upsetting her. She’s accepting that I’m staying with you, but… I mean… you guys apparently are really not on good terms, so… you know.”

“Okay, I understand. But can you come home now?”

Morrigan’s fist clenched at her side. “I was going to get Hilda to give me a ride to Mr. Crowley’s. He’s expecting me.”

“Morrigan, I’m not sure if—”

“That was what I was planning to do today anyway. Remember?” She did still have her list to deal with today. Checking the time on her phone, it was almost noon, and that meant she should be getting paid a visit from a particularly annoying black cat pretty soon. Not to mention she still had some questions for Alice regarding her role in the apocalyptic vision of the future thing.

“It’s just, I haven’t seen you at all today,” Evelyn said. “I’d really like to take a moment to touch base.”

“I mean, what’s there to touch base about?” Morrigan asked, feeling her frustration growing. “Look, I’ll be heading to Mr. Crowley's in a bit, and I’ll be home by six as usual. Alright?”

Hopefully it was a short list today.

There was another long pause on the other end of the line. Evelyn wasn’t arguing, but Morrigan could tell she wanted to. She could practically hear her thinking, trying to figure out how much control she still had and how much she was losing. At least, that’s what Morrigan imagined. She wasn’t sure if she was just being paranoid or not, but after today, she simply did not trust her anymore.

“Alright,” Evelyn finally said. “Six o’clock. I’ll have dinner ready.”

“Cool,” Morrigan muttered. Then, before the call could stretch into another passive-aggressive check-in, she added, “See you then,” and hung up.

She lowered the phone and let out a slow breath, running her palm over her face.

“How’d that go?” Emma asked.

Morrigan shrugged. “She bought it. Sounds like she's letting it go for now.”

Morrigan’s eyes then drifted over to Alice, who was staring back at her. Expression unreadable.

“So, mind explaining a few things?” Morrigan asked.

“About what? I already explained my mistress ordered me to stay with the witch for now. So I'm stuck here.”

“Why?” Emma asked. “I still don't get it.”

Alice clenched her teeth. “Whatever her reasons. That is not for me to try to unravel. Certainly not to you.”

“Are you… feeling okay at least?” Emma asked compationatly. “Hilda said you were injured.”

“I will be just fine. This is nothing to me.”

Morrigan stared at her for a long moment. She remembered the girl from the diary, the story of how she became a reaper. She wanted to feel sorry for her and believe she isn’t so bad, but it was hard. And she still needed answers. “Death told me something about you. It explains why you were so overly interested in me over the summer.”

Alice's scarred lips curled into a smile. “Oh? And what did Master say exactly?”

“He told me I was in one of your visions.”

That caused Alice's lips to part, showing her teeth in a more predatory smile. “Oh, did he now?”

“Yeah. So what's your deal? And what do I have to do with it?”

“I'm not sure. But I am truly less interested in you than you seem to think. I've already learned what I needed from you.”

Morrigan narrowed her eyes. “So this is all about Pepper, then? You purposely changed fate that night to save her life, didn't you?”

Alice tsked, wagging one finger slowly. “Now, what exactly are you accusing me of? Purposely manipulating fate is a major violation. I have a certain level of integrity to uphold as an arbiter. But… I suppose my actions that night had some unforeseen consequences, and my mistress was none too pleased.”

Morrigan gritted her teeth. “Damn it, stop just circling around everything! I've had enough of unraveling people's stupid fucking mysteries for one day.”

“Then perhaps you should stop pretending to be human? It seems much of your drama would dissapear if you abandoned this life and focused on what's actually important. By the way, how's that changeling of yours doing?”

Morrigan ground her teeth; she felt the changeling stirring up at its acknowledgment. “How did you know about that?”

“As if I wouldn’t know at least that much after a few days of my duty of assessing you as an arbiter.”

Morrigan clicked her teeth. “Whatever. I guess it doesn’t matter. Can you just explain what's going to happen to Pepper? I want to believe you're not as bad as you seem, but…”

“Bad? Me? You were the one who was just going to let her die.”

Morrigan wanted to pounce on her for saying that. Walking away from Pepper that night was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. It absolutely destroyed her inside. If things hadn't changed and Pepper really did die, she wasn't sure she could have gone on herself. It truly would have broken her. “You—you know I didn't have a choice!”

“Oh, you did, and you made that choice.”

Morrigan suddenly stepped forward and shoved her against the car, but Alice didn't seem to mind as she kept smiling.

“Stop fucking with me!” Morrigan yelled.

“Because fate said she had to die, you just listened. Tsk tsk, such a terrible friend.”

“You would have done it anyway! Or at least I thought. I mean—w-what could I have done!?”

“You could have fought me. You could have protected her. But you didn't even try.”

"I-I couldn't do that! I-"

Emma got between them, pushing Morrigan back. “Hey! Morrigan, hang on! She's just trying to get under your skin.”

Morrigan jabbed a finger over Emma’s shoulder, shouting at the other reaper, who stared back with that same amused smile. “You don't know me! Stop acting like you do!”

“I didn't know you. So I tested you. I know you now. And I am quite disappointed. You're just another mindless weapon, obeying orders, doing what you're told. Such evil has flourished in this world with that line of thinking, and you're no different. But you don't even see it yourself. Do you?”

“Shut up! That's not fair! This is my job—this is—”

“Exactly my point.” Alice said softly, shaking her head. “I showed you something that night. But you're either too dense to get it or you just don't care. Master says obey fate, adhere to your list, and treat your clients with kindness even if they are the scum of the earth. And you just obey him and that damn cat without question.”

“People die! I can't change that, and it's not… I mean, it's not up to me to- to punish evil, or whatever the fuck. That's just some self righteous bullshit!”

Alice shrugged a shoulder. “You really are a disappointment. You see, there is a future that I have seen, that I wish to prevent. I hoped you were a part of the answer I needed to change fate… Oh… well, I shouldn’t say that out loud.” She tilted her head, chuckling softly. “Yet all I know for sure about you, is that you will be there. A girl who should have died. Who I saved. But maybe that was my mistake… How ironic.”

“What are you talking about? You didn't save me.”

“I told Death of you many, many years ago. If I hadn’t, you would have been just another name on his list, and you would be rotting in limbo. Therefore, you are alive because of me. Yet, my vision of the future hadn’t changed. You will not prevent it. I made a mistake—” Alice pushed off the Jeep, locking eyes with her as she stepped forward. “You. Should. Have. Just. DIED,” she hissed through her teeth.

Even with Emma between them, Morrigan had to step back. There was so much hate in her eyes, they were blazing red. She couldn’t imagine anyone hating her so much. And it felt oddly crushing because… she didn’t understand why.

“Oooookay,” Hilda’s voice came from the door as she stepped outside. “I see we’re making friends already.”

Alice turned away. “Take me away from her, witch.”

Hilda wagged a finger. “Now, just where did I go wrong with you? Maybe I should have done a better job socializing you…? Taken you for more walks in the park, maybe…? Hm…”

“What the hell!” Morrigan yelled, finally recovering enough to get some words out and shout them at Alice. “I didn’t do anything to you!”

Alice wasn’t looking at her anymore. “No. Maybe not. But… you’re as evil as the rest of this world. You are no ally of mine.”

Then, a low, sophisticated voice spoke up. Morrigan looked to the top of the Jeep to see Noir.

“And it seems you’ve not changed at all either, Alice.”

The corner of Alice’s lip quirked, but she didn’t look at him.

“Morrigan,” Noir continued, turning his gaze towards her. “I have today’s list. Why don’t we go and get started?”

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Chapter 157 - Life and Death