Chapter 155 - Good Intentions

"Mom's car!" Morrigan exhaled with relief as she put a hand over her heart. It was sitting right there in the driveway, a dusty green Honda

"Mom's car!" Morrigan exhaled with relief as she put a hand over her heart. It was sitting right there in the driveway, a dusty green Honda

"Mom's car!" Morrigan exhaled with relief as she put a hand over her heart. It was sitting right there in the driveway, a dusty green Honda Accord with the paint peeling off the hood.

Hilda pulled in right behind it, then got out and lowered her seat so Morrigan and Emma could slide past. Hilda looked at Alice, who was still staring blankly forward. "Okay, Smiles, you stay here. I'll be right back."

Morrigan didn't stay to hear whatever retort Alice would shoot back with, instead heading right for the door and going inside.

"Hey, Mom?" Morrigan called, "It's me!"

There was an ashtray on the coffee table overflowing with butts and several discarded beer bottles on the floor around the couch. Morrigan had certainly seen it much worse before, but knew her mom shouldn't be drinking at all while on her medication.

"Hey, Mom?" she called again, looking up the stairwell and feeling her heart sink as she remembered the day she came in to find the bathroom covered in blood.

Her mom's car was here, but she wasn't answering.

Please be okay, Morrigan thought. Please, please be okay.

"Morrigan, are you sure you want to..." Emma trailed off, but Morrigan didn’t slow down. She looked at Hilda, who gave her a serious nod before they followed Morrigan up.

Morrigan placed her hand on the bathroom door, gulping once, a detached part of her already prepared for the worst.

But it was empty.

Actually, the bathroom was cleaner than Morrigan could ever remember it being. 

Thank you…

She went across the hall, throwing open her mom's bedroom door. She wasn't there either. And just to be extra sure, Morrigan tried her own bedroom. Still nothing.

"Basement?" Hilda asked, already heading down the stairs. Then she called, "Mrs. Livingston, it's Hilda! I'm here too! Are you alright?"

"Maybe she went for a walk to blow off some steam?" Emma offered as Morrigan made her way back downstairs after Hilda.

"Yeah... I mean, I hope so..."

Hilda confirmed she was not in the basement either, and Morrigan let out a sigh. She wondered where she could have gone and if Evelyn was right and they should call the police at this point. Morrigan’s gaze drifted out the back kitchen window to the graveyard where she herself would always go when she needed to just get away or be alone for a while. She hadn’t ever known her mom to go for walks in the graveyard before, but maybe…

Then a thin trail of smoke caught her eye outside, and she followed it over to the back steps… and saw her mom.

“She’s out back!” Morrigan said, going right for the back door.

Anna sat on the back steps, a cigarette in one hand and a whiskey glass in the other, with the half-empty bottle on the step next to her. She just sat there, staring out over the graveyard, not even reacting to the sound of the door opening.

“Hey, Mom?” Morrigan asked as she came out, stepping around her to stand in the grass.

Her eyes flicked down, noticing a ceramic bowl filled with scraps of meat by her mom’s feet. It was mostly chicken, but with bits of fat and gristle mixed in. It looked like something meant for an animal, but they'd never had pets.

Morrigan frowned but said nothing about that. She was more worried about the blank look on her mom's face and the whiskey glass in her hand.

“Hey, uh… You okay, Ma?”

“Mmmm… yeah.” Anna took a slow sip.

“Um…” Morrigan looked towards the graveyard, where her mom was staring, but didn’t see anything. It seemed to her that if she was staring at anything, it was probably in her own head. Morrigan had no idea what to say here. She took a deep breath and began to explain. “Sorry I didn’t tell you who I was with sooner… I was going to, but, you know… I was just waiting for a good time.”

Her mom didn’t respond.

“You know… I don’t think Evelyn’s trying to insert herself or anything. I mean, it’s a bit weird meeting her like this, but…” 

Her mom downed the rest of the whiskey glass in one gulp. The clinking of the glass as she set it back down cut off Morrigan’s words. Anna then reached a wavering hand towards the bottle.

“H-Hey, you know, you shouldn’t be drinking so much with your medication.”

Anna clicked her teeth softly as she popped the cork off. “Who cares?”

Morrigan watched her hand raise the bottle. A memory from several years ago flashed through her mind. They had been arguing while her mom was clearly plastered. Morrigan ended the argument by snatching a similar bottle off the kitchen counter, then running out the back door and smashing it on those very same steps. She then ran for the fence, jumping over it and disappearing into the graveyard where she had stayed until she was pretty sure her mom would have fallen asleep.

Part of her wanted to do the same thing now, but she found herself unable to move.

The screen door creaked as Hilda stepped out. The older girl quickly assessed the situation, then carefully crouched down on the steps behind Anna and placed her hand over the glass.

Anna shot her a glare over her shoulder. Hilda returned the look with a smile and said, “Bit early. Don’t you think?”

Anna didn't move, so Hilda took it as a cue to slide the glass away. Anna narrowed her eyes, then for a moment looked like she was going to drink directly from the bottle. Instead, her next move completely surprised Morrigan.

She reached over, off the side of the steps, and tilted the bottle, letting it empty into the grass. “Whatever, it’s shit whisky anyway,” she said, taking a drag from her cigarette as the amber liquid glugged out of the bottle. When it was empty she let it slip free from her hand and lay in the grass.

At least that’s a good sign, Morrigan thought. She still felt guilty. Once again, she caused her mom to go into one of these spirals. She couldn’t help feeling like this was her fault somehow.

Hilda stepped off the stairs over towards Morrigan, giving her a wink and a pat on the shoulder. Then, as she looked back at Anna, she noticed the bowl of meat on the last step between her legs. “Huh… expecting company?” she chuckled.

“Hm?” Anna’s eyes drifted down to the bowl. “Oh yeah. Stray dog’s been coming around. Think it’s a stray anyway. Looks pretty mangy. Might live in the graveyard.” She took another drag of her cigarette. “Been giving it scraps.”

Morrigan glanced over to the fence. She didn’t think there was a way to get under it, but maybe it was getting through down the street if that were the case.

“Hey, mom… I really am sorry about—”

“Nah, don’t be,” Anna cut her off, though didn’t meet her eyes. "I know you’re the one just getting dragged along. Sorry, guess I freaked you out earlier.”

“Well, yeah. Why didn't you answer when I tried to call back?”

Anna had that blank stare again for a moment before saying, “Phone died.”

Morrigan was pretty sure that was a lie but didn't press her on it.

“She's got no right…” Anna muttered. “She just comes in and inserts herself out of nowhere. Bitch really has some nerve. She told you to keep it a secret, right?”

“Well… yeah.” Considering how her mom responded, Morrigan felt like maybe keeping it secret was smart after all.

“Yeah, figures.” Anna took the last drag of her cigarette and then flicked it away. “Probably wanted to get you on her side first. Just can't stand not getting her way, so she has to try taking everything from me.” Anna clenched her teeth and slammed her hands on her knees. “But you don't fuck with someone's kid! That's fucking low even for her!”

Morrigan opened her mouth but didn't know what to say, instead looking at Hilda helplessly.

“Hey, Anna?” Hilda asked, kneeling down and putting a hand on her shoulder.

Anna knocked her hand away, then wavered on the step a little as she reached for something. She paused and clicked her teeth. “Right, fucking dumped it.”

“Hey. Anna.” Hilda said a little more assertively. “Don't you think Morrigan is a little better off with her than with some unknown family? I don't know what happened between you, but—”

“Oh no,” Anna chuckled softly, “you have no fucking idea. You have no idea how fucking happy she is right now. She finally got everything she wanted.” She started standing up, looking at Hilda with pure fury in her eyes.

“Woah, woah, okay.” Hilda took a step back, holding up her open palms as non-threateningly as possible. “What do you mean she got everything she wanted?”

“I'm just the crazy drug addict, right?” Anna said, “I stole her mom's house, kept her granddaughter away from her, and she's just so fucking perfect, and everything I've done to her is sooo fucking terrible.” Anna staggered a little, looking like she was about to fall over. Hilda moved to catch her, but she managed to steady herself on her own. “Now that I hit rock bottom, she gets to swoop in and prove every goddamn thing she ever said about me. Oh, poor fucking Evelyn.”

Mom thinks Evelyn’s just using me to make herself look better?

Morrigan wondered about that. She didn’t know Evelyn enough to disprove it. She had kind of found herself warming up to her, considering she seemed pretty relaxed about letting her dress how she wanted and seemingly trying to take care of her. But wouldn’t doing all of that fit this supposed narrative of rescuing her granddaughter from the wreck her daughter left behind?

She wanted to believe Evelyn was just trying to help. And maybe she was. But even well-meaning people could tell themselves flattering lies about their own motives.

She didn’t want to be a pawn in some decade-old family grudge. She just wanted her mom to be okay.

“Hey, Anna?” Hilda spoke softly, sparing a sympathetic glance at Morrigan, probably seeing the thoughts swirling in her head. “Why don't we go in and talk about this inside? I mean, maybe there's a better time to get into it?”

The fury in her mom’s eyes sank away. She was frowning and swaying a little, but she seemed to come to a decision as she slowly turned and went up the steps.

Emma, who had been standing in the screen door, winced as Anna looked up at her.

“Uh—H-Hi there,” she said, trying to smile despite the tension.

Anna blinked at her, then slurred, “You must be Emma. Real nice to meet you finally.”

“Oh, yeah! You too! Haha!” Emma chuckled nervously.

Anna nodded. “Move, please. I need to go puke.”

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Chapter 156 - No Middle Ground