Fae Chronicles 10

Tanya’s new armies were, by and large, more burdens than assets. About of fifth of them were disciplined enough to be usable as security assets for the areas in the mortal world, but the rest were really more of the ‘rape and pillage’ sort of ravening hordes. 

So the additional two hundred trees  in the Giant’s Forest that supported them required some… adjusting to accommodate them. Four circuses were created: a racetrack, two gladiatorial arenas, one for bloodsport, the other for more theatrical forms of combat, and one pavilion for orgies. 

Personally, Tanya favored the arena for theatrical combat, and made no secret of this. It meant that all of the ambitious sorts gravitated to becoming flamboyant professional wrestlers rather than battle maniacs. She also occasionally attended the races, but never the bloodsport nor the orgies, further delineating the fae that she had to tolerate from the ones she could make use of, eventually. 

As her armies were all fairies, she didn’t need to provide anything else that they didn’t bring with them as logistical support, merely allow them to take up the space they claimed for those matters… after a brief audit to ensure they weren’t wildly inflating their requirements, of course. 

Still, it made her territory resemble a proper demesne for a noble house in King Oberon’s court, although notably slanted towards grand structures (built within great trees) and orderly operations (The shift schedule was a thing of beauty) rather than the slipshod laziness she frequently saw in certain other fae lands. It was her hope that enough good examples, strict schedules, and a generous helping of whippings would eventually convert the more savage warriors into something worthy of the word soldier. The circuses should allow them to blow off steam and prevent catastrophic failure, but honestly, she didn’t particularly care if they broke instead of bent themselves into the shape she desired. If Ares is going to saddle her with his cast-offs, she’s going to recycle them into something useful. 

Also she might be able to convince some of the more brutish nobles to trade for them. The party that Tanya was throwing, as her… cotillion, would be the best word, was held in her new palace-tree, a twenty-floor mansion held within the grandest tree of her territory, grown ever grander by her magic to further emphasize its importance. The grand ballroom was even larger than the space allocated for it; by default it was about a quarter acre in size, barely enough to fit in the tree in theory, but it was also set to expand as it gained more occupants, up to four acres. She didn’t exactly invent this herself; the Lord of Large Dances had something similar and she didn’t feel remotely bad about copying a successful reveler. 

Naturally, Tanya had created a new dress for this event. Spun silver, with the hem weighed down by thirty coins each marked with an X, her own little jab at Elohim. Her hair was adorned with a feathery headdress, and she had a necklace of cowrie shells decorating a neckline that emphasized her new form’s assets, with the numbers of common currency denominations in fonts matching various examples scattered throughout the silver metallic fabric. Style-wise, she had gone in a more modern direction, her dress clinging tightly to her form instead of the more archaic fashion of demanding grand allocations of personal space by dint of a skirt so bulky that the actual size of one’s hips are completely irrelevant. 

Visha and Elya were also present, both dressed in appealing but slightly degrading outfits made of the same cloth that dollar bills were made of, a complex pattern of currency symbols decorating them. Each was lashed to her throne with thin golden chains, which was more for their protection, firmly claiming them as Tanya’s property, than because Tanya thought it necessary to restrict their movements. It wouldn’t do for them to be mistaken for party favors. Tanya had also taken the extra step to improve Elya’s blessing of beauty, using a higher tier of glamor just so the fae didn’t need to use effort to not see the girl underneath. For balance, Visha got some glamorous makeup as well. 

As for her throne, Tanya naturally went further into theming, it being mostly silver was just expected, but for the armrests and the sides, she acquired two genuine examples of the large stone Rai from the Pacific Islands. She gussied them up a bit with some glamor, but only enough to make them usable, accentuating the historical value of the pieces. Even the fae acknowledged the luxury of importing things from distant lands as a form of showing off. Even if the thing in question was absolutely useless. 

Still, enough noble fae had arrived and started mingling for the starting announcements to commence. She snapped her fingers, creating a high-pitched tone that cut through the hushed whispers of the nobility. Once everyone was paying attention, she stood up and gestured grandly. “I welcome the esteemed peerage of the Court of Avalon to this celebration!” Tanya shouted, “In particular, House Argent welcomes the Lord of Flashing Knives, who had honored me with his wisdom from time to time.” The man in question adjusted his artfully-messy dress shirt and gave a shallow bow as everyone drifted their attention in his direction. “In addition, House Argent welcomes the Lady of Battlefields, for giving her subordinate enough rope to hang himself, allowing me to expand my domain at his expense.” The woman scowled at the attention, her bow appearing in her hand as she glared at the Lord of Red Rivers. The man squirmed under his boss’s heated gaze, trying and failing to find a place to direct his gaze that didn’t have one of his former soldiers standing guard. 

Tanya continued with her speech, her compliments getting increasingly backhanded as she went down the list of fae who had made her youth miserable while also benefiting her in the long run. “Finally, House Argent welcomes the Lady of Owls, who gave me a thorough education in speechcraft and how party guests are to be treated.” She finished, redirecting a massive amount of the negative feelings she just stirred up to the bitch in the bone-white mask. This was not difficult: the Lady of Owls was respected and feared, but not liked. 

“Now, eat, be merry!” Tanya announced, “For we celebrate, first and foremost, myself, and my successes. Enjoy yourselves!” In a human court, such a statement would be excessively blunt, but a fey Duchess was expected to have a certain amount of pride in her achievements. 

With her duties fulfilled for now, she snapped her fingers and used the tiniest shreds of glamor to issue instructions to her servants. The buffet tables were loaded with additional food, two giant mirrors emerged, showing the battles that were going on in the arenas. The one showing the dance-off was facing her on the opposite side of the ballroom where she could see it, while the one showing the tooth and claw melee faced away, right next to her where she didn’t need to look at it. 

Pleasingly, the entertainment seemed to actually appeal, as several of the fae demanded chairs from her servants so they may be seated while enjoying the televisions. She was a little worried that they wouldn’t like the more limited point of view, but that didn’t materialize. As a secondary trick, you could only hear the events if you were looking at the mirror in question, otherwise it was silent. 

She settled into her throne and drank from her chalice. Her lands did produce some goods that didn’t need to be wrought from glamor, and this honey-wine was one of them. “Is it everything you expected?” She asked Elya idly. 

The mortal girl’s eyes gleamed with awe at the various forms of the fair folk. “Everything and more.” She whispered. She took the plate of food that the faerie servant brought over and offered Tanya one of the berries. “Fruit, Mistress?” She asked, half-teasing. 

Tanya opened her mouth and let the girl deposit the berry inside. Mm. Delicious. “Once the announcements are over, it’s pretty much like this. Everyone enjoys the amusements the host offers, talking to each other over trivialities… it’s a party. I either wander about, talking to people and getting my face out there, or stay here and let people come to me.”

On cue, The Lord of Flashing Knives swaggered up, gave Elya a roguish grin and upnod, and settled into a casual stance. “Quite the soiree you’ve thrown.” He complimented, “It lacks lavish expenses, “ Which was really more of an indictment of how much glamor normally gets used up by one of these things than anything else, “-but those mirror-views are new, wherever did you get the idea?”

“I liked the Lady of Trampling Feet’s party, you know the one where everyone was on this parade float touring her lands?” Tanya said, already having prepared this lie, “I couldn’t do that sort of thing, but the idea of seeing multiple circuses in one party stayed with me.” It really wasn’t much of an innovation, but fey tend to tie up their creative energies in feuds, art, and drama rather than technological progress. 

“Ah, yes.” The Lord of Flashing Knives said, “It’s a clever workaround.”

A cream puff found its way into her mouth, Visha giggling as she licked off the bit that escaped Tanya’s lips. It was far too late for Visha to avoid Fairy victuals, so beyond the flavor putting her favorite servant into a manic drug-like haze, there wasn’t anything else to worry about. 

In the distance, two other Lords took out swords and started to duel each other informally. From the looks of things… it was the Lord of Floating Lights and the Lord of Screaming Forests, fighting over the Lady of Blooming Wings. “Hey!” Tanya shouted, “No fighting!” Spinning up Elohim’s power, she launched a small explosive spell at the pair, launching them apart from each other covered with burns and abrasions. One of the stand-by brownies came and swiftly cleaned the floor. “If you want to kill each other, do it in the arena!”

In short order, the two fay were cleaned up, in the blood sport arena, and being watched by several of the partygoers through the television. The Lady of Owls finally came up, imperiously looking over Tanya’s new form. “I must admit, it’s surprising to find you so…” She trailed off. 

“Successful? Beautiful? Powerful?” Elya offered. 

“-comfortable.” The Lady of Owls continued, “It seems like just yesterday that I was throwing you your first party. I’d never thrown a baptism before…”

Tanya snorted. “I’d be more offended if I thought you had the slightest inkling on how to throw one beforehand.” She said bluntly. “I will admit that your gift was useful, even with its intent, but don’t think I’ll thank you for that debacle.” That little ‘baptism’ was just an excuse to curry favor with King Oberon by humiliating his newest annoyance. She was trapped in a bassinet and ignored while everyone else parties, and was given incredibly cheap gifts while still having her words and reactions ignored. 

“But to think that you’ve grown up at such a young age!” The Lady of Owls said, her masked face hiding any chance of discerning her sincerity from an expression. “Eleven years is nothing, and yet you’ve done so much.”

Elya blinked. “...You’re only eleven years old?” She asked incredulously. 

The Lady of Owls giggled smugly. Ah, so that’s her game. “Of course you didn’t tell your mortals.” She said, nodding to herself. “It wouldn’t do for the ancient, immortal fairy to be seen as the junior, would it?”

“I am not.” Tanya insisted, “That’s merely the amount of time since that first party. She has no idea what kind of life I lived before that.”

“Feral scavenging in the Giant’s Forest, what else could there be?” The Lady of Owls said, scoffing at that being significant. 

“Indeed, what could there be?” Tanya said cryptically. “Nevertheless, I will take your comments in the spirit that they are intended. Good day.”

They were only the beginning. But the party turned out pretty well, all told. 

--------------------------------

As General Zettour predicted, within two months a peace summit was announced, and Tanya received a written invitation delivered to her corporate headquarters for the Argent Conglomerate, which was an office building in Berun that she had acquired purely so she could have a fancy office to hold meetings in. As a secondary benefit, it also allowed her to hire workers to handle some of the paperwork that her bakery empire, and any other ventures, produced. 

“Hello, nice to meet you.” Tanya said, handing a business card to the Francois representative. “I’m the Duchess of House Argent, of King Oberon’s court. Here as a neutral observer and potential mediator, I hope we can all find a harmonious end to the hostilities.”

She was dressed a bit less daringly than she did at the party; but the vibe was similar: she was wearing a bulkier dress that fell short of being a full ball gown, the hem actually going down to her feet, and she wielded a fan as a baton. 

Attending her was Visha, in a silver-and-black dress that was sufficiently unadorned that her status as ‘the help’ was made clear. She wore a silver choker that was marked with House Argent’s symbol, a set of six silver wings coming out of an orb. She carried paperwork with her, which was mostly ornamental. 

The Francois representative was polite, and insincerely replied with the appropriate platitudes, so Tanya moved on. 

Due to the nature of the Great War, at first glance the parties were quite clear: you were either the Empire, or you were against the Empire. The Empire managed to successfully fight off everyone that declared war on them, so unless the Rus decided to get their shit together for once and march west, there was no other recourse for the Allied Powers to do anything but to attempt to gain the least damaging peace deal. 

But politics are rarely so simple. The Francois and Legadonians just need a peace deal that will prevent them from collapsing into anarchy. The Albish, on the other hand, need to figure out what they can give up without materially affecting their position as the premier naval power in the world. 

The Albish had lost some naval assets to the type 95s, and at least one port got bombarded by the same. It was why they agreed to the peace talks, even if the Empire didn’t really have the ability to land troops on Albish soil. 

As for the other powers that were relevant to consider, the Unified States had a rather substantial delegation. Their goals were to reclaim as much money as they could for their efforts, as they had lent the enemies of the Empire a rather substantial amount of it. As the hosts, Lothiern had quite a few functionaries and diplomats, trying to burnish their reputation for neutrality. Waldstatten, the actual famously neutral country, was not present. Illoda was nominally, although ineffectually so, part of the fighting, although they were nominally on the Empire’s side. So they had sent something too, just trying to get a slice of the pie that the Empire would be baking for themselves here. Dacia was nominally part of the Empire now, although they had a dedicated delegation, trying to get out from under the Empire’s thumb. 

Even the Rus had sent a small delegation, although Tanya was fairly certain their presence was to remind the Empire that things could still get worse for them, and also probably as an opportunity for the Empire’s enemies to all be able to meet up and coordinate the war’s continuance if the Empire proves ‘too stubborn’ or whatever. 

The meeting room had three long tables, each packed to the brim with men wearing suits. “...Visha, are we literally the only women here?” Tanya asked. Yeah, there was a lot of sexism in this time period, so it does make sense, but… none? 

Visha looked around. “I think so. I’ll tell you if I see another girl around.”

“No, don’t bother.” Tanya said, “I’m just rethinking my choices in fashion.” She’s been mired in fae politics for too long, she should have worn something a little more practical. Still, she waved a hand over her hair, and removed the feathers, changing the style to something a little simpler and replacing the headband with a silver tiara. In hindsight, she doubted any of the dignitaries would have understood the subtleties of that particular choice. It was also the most flamboyant part of her outfit, so it should split the difference between being an eccentric magical being and delving into the deeper end of haute couture. 

That handled, Tanya walked up to where she noticed the primary discussions were being held, and wordlessly commanded attention from the men present. Raising an eyebrow to the Imperial diplomat she recognized, the man coughed and introduced her. “This is the Lady of Currency, a neutral party from the Fairy Kingdom of Arcadia. She’s a Duchess there.”

“Greetings.” Tanya said, smiling. “As the head of House Argent, while I naturally cannot make any promises on behalf of King Oberon, my house has a rather large number of business interests in the mortal world, and as such would very much prefer that hostilities end amicably.”

“That doesn’t sound very neutral.” The Albish representative said. 

“If that was enough to compromise neutrality, then the Americans are far more compromised than myself.” Tanya retorted, rolling her eyes as she pointed with her closed fan in the direction of the representative in question. “Unless my information is incorrect and the Americans have openly joined the Francois as a stakeholder?”

“Don’t put words in our mouth.” The American complained. 

“Nevertheless, my business interests have been properly registered as an international conglomerate in all of your countries.” Tanya insisted, “Except the States, I’ll admit.”

“What kind of businesses do you have?” Asked the American, oddly enough. 

“A little of this, a little of that.” Tanya said vaguely. “Our largest and fastest-growing division is definitely the bakeries, though.” She took out a basket from behind her back. Was that basket there before? Absolutely not. “Cookies? I know I’m a guest here but I couldn’t help but bring a gift.”

The Imperial representative relaxed, clearly having been briefed on fae etiquette, and took one of the cookies. “Thank you, it is quite good.” The representative said, which seemed to be enough for the other representatives to have one. The cookies were perfectly ordinary, of course, so there was no reason for anything untoward to occur. 

“Hey, this tastes just like that bakery down the street from the House of Lords.” The Albish representative said, brow furrowed. 

Down the street was a bit inaccurate but… “39 Victoria Street, if I recall.” Tanya said off the top of her head. One of the little tricks she built into her new body was an excellent memory, and she memorized every address her business possessed. “One of our newer locations. It was an expensive purchase, but it’s quite profitable.” It hadn’t really paid for itself yet, but it was well on its way to. Buying property was so much easier as a successful business. 

“How did you get land in the heart of Londinium?” The Albish representative queried, slightly panicked. 

“It wasn’t easy.” Tanya demurred, “But you’d be surprised how many doors the humble shortcake can open.” She clapped her hands. “But as much as I’d love to wrangle favorable business arrangements with all of your countries.” She made sure to look each of them in the eye as she said that, “That is not what we’re here to do. So let’s leave the under the table deals aside for now, and talk about what’s on the table: Peace.”

She thought that went rather well. She was just glad that they were all sufficiently briefed that they didn’t immediately accuse her of witchcraft or whatever nonsense they’d be on about without that warning. 

The discussion didn’t require a whole lot of input from her, nor from her American counterpart, but they watched carefully just the same as the Empire discussed matters with their belligerent neighbors. She occasionally wandered, introducing herself to the various personages and listening to their discussions. 

Tanya didn’t expect a whole lot to get done today, but from what she could tell… things were going to take a while. The Empire was asking for Versaille-level concessions, of course, which was untenable, but the other nations were overplaying their hands, insistent that the war could continue tomorrow if the Empire asked for a single pound sterling. There was a strong front… and there was what Albion was doing. 

Eventually, when she got a bit exhausted talking to so many people, Tanya settled into a corner table that she magically conjured and let other people come to her, loading it with pastries and a coffee service. 

She got a full ten minutes of quiet rest before the Russy delegation approached. Tanya stared at them imperiously, only refraining from outright glaring because it would reflect poorly on her. Eventually, they decided to speak. “I’ve spoken with my superiors, and we wish to enter into… negotiations.” He said with a slimy grin. 

“What do you think, Visha?” Tanya asked, not even looking at the communist filth. “Should we hear them out?”

“It would surely be a waste of your time, My Lady.” Visha said immediately, “But I don’t think he’ll leave until we do.”

Tanya nodded faux-seriously. “Yes, vermin do tend to be persistent, communists are no exception.” She turned her attention back to the communist and sniffed in disgust. “Well, out with it.”

The Russy representative was clearly displeased by her snub, but as he was not actually in charge of anything and would likely be executed if his superiors found out that he failed in his mission, he ignored her disrespect and continued. “We have heard many whispers about the wonders that are for sale by the powerful House Argent, and many stories about Arcadia’s hunger for the flesh of mortals.”

“I don’t deal in flesh, communist.” Tanya responded, shutting him down. “If you want to sell the sane portion of your population for political expediency, go elsewhere.”

“None of the fairy courts will answer our requests.” The communist said through gritted teeth. 

“No one’s going to heed a beckoning coming from the lands of the Baba Yaga.” Tanya explained slowly, as she was speaking to a simpleton. “Even if I did trade in human lives, You’d need to import them into Imperial lands before I would dare take custody of them, and even then I’d request permission. I imagine my contemporaries are of a similar mind.”

The communist didn’t seem to expect an answer like that. “The Baba Yaga… is real?” He asked, disbelieving. 

“I know it must disappoint your superiors that you cannot literally grind up your excess population for wealth and power, but it is the state of things.” Tanya said, grinning in schadenfreude. “There’s an irony to the fact that the polity most willing to do that kind of thing is incapable of it…” She focused back on her conversation partner. “So you can tell your communist masters that if they want any sort of patronage from across the veil, they need only beckon the Baba Yaga, and see if she’s willing to make a deal.” If she’s lucky, they’ll actually do so and get soundly punished for their hubris. 

Visha refilled her coffee mug, and Tanya turned to the side before drinking, dismissing the communist by pretending he no longer existed. It took a moment for the message to sink in, but the Russy representative left shortly thereafter. 

After another peaceful half hour, a single Albish man in came up and looked over the spread. “I see Arcadia respects the sanctity of tea time.” He said, taking one of the seats that Tanya had left available. 

“I prefer coffee, or sweeter drinks.” Tanya said idly, “But I have a kettle you can use if you have some leaves.” She waved her hand and conjured a tea kettle filled with steaming hot water. 

“Don’t mind if I do.” The Albishman said, taking out a satchel out of his coat and preparing some tea. The time passed in companionable silence as Tanya finished her coffee, and eventually Tanya conjured a few teacups and he poured himself and her a serving. “How do you like the blend?” He asked curiously. 

“It’s not bad.” Tanya said, faking being impressed. “I haven’t sampled much mortal tea, but your skills are impeccable.” She gave a wry grin. “May I have your name?”

“You may not.” The Albishman said, smiling rakishly. “But introductions are in order. I am a member of Her Majesty’s Diplomatic Service.” Tanya didn’t even need her memories of early 20th century history lessons to know that was a euphemism for him being a member of MI6, or whatever the Albish spies were called. “I’ve come to ask you a few questions, and perhaps conduct some business.”

“Depending on those answers, of course.” Tanya said, sipping at her tea. 

“Indeed.” The spy said primly. “First, is it true that House Argent has sold weapons to the Empire?” He asked, a note of danger in his voice. 

“Weapons? No, of course not.” Tanya said, waving him off. “That isn’t to say that I haven’t sold the Empire’s military some useful treasures, but no weapons.”

“Not even the ‘type 95 Computation orb’?” He asked, the tension in his voice ratcheting upwards. 

“No, the type 95 was created by an Imperial scientist.” Tanya said, “I didn’t give it to them.”

“Would your answer change if I said we would be prepared to pay an equal price?” The spy asked. 

Tanya frowned. “I do not deal in lies.” She said icily. “All I did was provide some magical…” She took a moment to think of a metaphor. “Drugs? Yes, let’s go with magic drugs. Helps their mages focus, improves their casting skills. Improves operational endurance.” In that they’re able to operate at all. 

“I thought you didn’t deal in lies.” The Albishman said. 

“I’m not going to go into technical details. Else you might go to my competitors.” Tanya said, “Calling them performance enhancing drugs is accurate enough for understanding.” She also knew for a fact that magical stimulants were common among aerial mages. 

“So their wonder weapons…” He asked, trailing off. 

“Wouldn’t be quite so overwhelming without those focus aids.” Tanya finished, “Although it would still be quite spectacular if they lost access.” In that they would explode spectacularly. “So don’t go thinking that asking me to renege on that deal would bear fruit.” Because she wouldn’t dream of ceasing her most profitable deal, even if it’s not likely to get her much nowadays. But it’s useful to imply that it wouldn’t work even if she did. “If you’d like some similar or alternative benefits for yourselves, on the other hand… well, that could possibly be arranged. If the price is right.”

The spy clearly didn’t like that answer, but after he spent a moment thinking while sipping at his tea, he decided that he wasn’t getting anything more from that line of questioning. “Next, there are rumors about… prosthetics?”

“A fine product, and very much for sale.” Tanya assured him. “Visha? The customer testimonials.” Searching through the documents she had, Visha produced the document in question. “As you can read, the quality is so high, my customers frequently forget that they have ever lost a limb.” This was the magic’s fault, but seeing as how she cheaped out on the glamour to make those, it partially operates on a ‘don’t think about it’ basis. 

“The cost?” He asked. 

“Well, mortal money is only so useful. I can only spend it on mortal things, which means I’m dealing with unfavorable exchange rates if I ever want to spend it in Arcadia.” Tanya said evasively. “So it’s quite expensive. I could, however, be convinced to offer a rather substantial bulk discount if you wish to purchase job lots for all of your soldiers that are in need of this product.” Before the brownies, she’d have hedged a bit by asking for wooden legs to enchant, but now she has quite the stockpile. “With the right terms.” She used to make money hand over fist with the glamored legs, but this was something that other fae could easily compete with. If she could make it up with volume, she could undercut the other houses and remain the premier supplier of fae magics to the mortals. 

There were few more questions along the same lines, i.e. they bring up rumors of services and she confirms that they are a part of her catalogue, while also trying to convince him to make some sort of large purchase, but eventually the spy finished his tea and stood up. “I will get back to you before the summit is over.” He said, “I must speak to my superiors.”

Well, that went… acceptably. Yes, she kind of tipped the Empire’s hand, but it was something of a peace offering, making it clearer that while yes, she was paid to help the Empire, that didn’t make her aligned with them. This was a useful impression to make on multiple levels, not the least which was, ironically, making people less scared of the Empire. Which she was sure the Kaiser would not appreciate. 

But it was just business.