sketch dump + blog

even tho I'm not posting a whole lot lately, i'm doing a lot of sketchbooking, doodling, and probably most importantly for my shoulder and RSI problems, experimenting with more ergonomic brush settings and ways of working. I've sunk a huge amount of time in the past like 2 or 3 weeks into that last one specifically, building up basically a new library of brushes to use. working on brushes is one of those things where it can just be several hours of drawing random strokes and doodles and tweaking parameters without producing anything (other than the brush itself). on a similar note the problem with working in the sketchbook is that it's not really 'content' in and of itself, so while it has benefits in the form of practice it's pretty valueless as posting. i think these blog entries are a form of content thoughever, albeit probably not amazingly so given my dour personality and pessimistic outlook. as i was saying i really don't feel a natural inclination to post much from the sketchbook bc it doesn't fall under that content umbrella. i've been watching these youtube videos in the background about social media success etc., something i've never done despite ostensibly being a social media artist, which it only recently occurred to me is something i am and which wasn't really my choice, just something kind of thrust onto me. anyway the prevailing wisdom in these things is something along the lines of the 'content' you make having to be indispensable to your audience so they can't go their day without it. this feels like a really high barrier to someone like me personally, bc i don't personally see that much value in what i do. i think in terms of simply making better art there's a lot of practice and aimless style exploration that's necessary, but even if it's necessary it doesn't translate to something indispensable and valuable. so working in the sketchbook is something that i know is necessary to create better value down the line, but i feel like it's something that the constant pressures of content creation discourages, since the results are generally not even that interesting, much less indispensable. i feel like i should be posting it though, because otherwise people might think i'm just sitting on my hands when i'm not posting new illustrations, but it's not indispensable relatable content, so i get the feeling people will be disappointed by it and unsub. my thoughts on these videos about social media is that they've been more depressing than inspirational bc it all seems very inhuman to me. I think what irks me about them is that it pushes a very cynical and borderline manipulative pattern of attention seeking behavior but dresses it up as a pursuit of authenticity and sincere connection. On a related note I found this rant by Agostinho Zinga (streamer I sometimes watch) amazing, he hit the nail on the head with how this advice feels. https://youtu.be/mltJaigiSj4

didn't meant to write a bunch of nonsense, just trying to reconcile spending a bunch of time producing 'not content' with the ever increasing pressure to post more 'content'...