apolloseven

Apollo Seven's Ridiculously Self-Indulgent Cash Grab

Added 2021-04-01 20:02:34 +0000 UTC

This morning I looked at my Patreon income and it wasn't even close to my goal of $10,000,0000 a month, so I'm changing things up. Naked Ambition and TF Card Battle are boring and have too many naked people in them, so I'm making a new game, Apollo Seven's Ridiculously Self-Indulgent Cash Grab. Or ASRSICG for short.

I spend all this time writing for these games and I'm not even a billionaire yet, so no more writing. And art, don't even get me started on art. Did you know artists want money? That's insane, because they'd I'd have less money! So no more artists. Also because game design is hard I'm not going to do that either, instead I'm going to copy the most successful and ambitious game in history. The card game War.

In ASRSICG, you'll buy packs of cards (yes with real money that's the point sheesh), and you'll get cool PNGs of a character from a game I made with a number next to it. Wow, talk about value! But Apollo Seven, I hear you saying, numbers? Math? How math work? Well my monetarily overburdened friend, it's easy. The bigger the number, the better! Card number big, win. Card number small, lose.

Literally dozens of cards to collect! From the common character I made from a game people didn't like all that much

To the ultra rare character that's just a image I found on the internet!

You'll want to collect them all and spend spend spend!

Now I know what you're saying 'But Apollo Seven, this game sounds like the pinnacle of human achievement, but do I get some kind of bonus for being a Patron?" Well my whiny follower, you sure do! Attached is your first starter pack of PNGs, at what would otherwise cost $10,000. What value!

I hope you all enjoy playing ASRSICG in the future! 'Cause I'm going to enjoy rolling in the giant pile of money it makes me!