Roomies in Arms - Part 18

Everyone in this story is 18+

When I got back to the collective, the place was unusually quiet. Nick and Jax were on the couch, half-watching some sports programme— something about fighting furniture — and eating dry cereal straight from the box.

“Where’s Lex?” I asked, kicking off my shoes.

“Study group,” Nick said, not looking away from the screen. “Or building a doomsday device. One of those.”

“Wouldn’t even surprise me,” Jax added, yawning. “If we wake up tomorrow and the moon’s gone, I’m blaming him.”

I hovered awkwardly for a second, unsure where to put myself. Eventually, I dropped into the armchair opposite them.

“Alright, spill,” Nick said suddenly, eyes flicking toward me. “You’ve got that face.”

“What face?”

“The tortured boarding school memoir face,” Jax supplied.

I hesitated. “I… like Lex.”

Nick snorted. “Shocker.”

“You knew?”

“Sebastian,” Nick said gently, “a blind nun would know.”

I buried my face in my hands. “Fine. Yes. I like him. But I’m… I don’t know. I’m overthinking.”

“Classic you,” Jax said.

“I’m still—” I swallowed. “A virgin.”

That got their attention. Nick muted the telly. “Oh.”

“Not like I’m ashamed of it,” I rushed on. “I just… imagined it would be this big moment, you know? And it never… happened. There were chances. Between boarding schools, summer programs… But, it never felt right. And now I’m nineteen and it’s—” I exhaled. “I don’t know. Lex is cute, obviously. Weirdly cute. But he’s not exactly… romantic.”

Nick and Jax exchanged a look. Jax shrugged. Nick leaned forward.

“Want perspective?”

“Sure?”

“I lost mine to Brady.”

I blinked. “Pardon?”

“Yeah. First was mouth stuff with Jake, our RA. Then Brady. Then Asher. And, well…” He gestured vaguely. “Dorm slut spree.”

I stared at him. “You… what?”

“He’s not exaggerating,” Jax said. “We even had a contest. He won. Big time.”

Nick pointed at him. “No one won. We tossed the scoreboard.”

Jax grinned. “Yeah, after you hit double digits.”

I blinked again. “You people are feral.”

Nick shrugged. “Point is — it’s not that big a deal. First times are usually awkward. Sometimes you’ve got to kiss a few frogs.”

“Or the whole damn pond,” Jax added.

“Not arguing,” Nick said. “But as far as first times go? Lex seems decent. You two obviously like each other.”

I bit my lip. “Yeah.”

“And you don’t have to rush it,” Nick added. “Just… don’t wait so long you miss the fun.”

I exhaled, feeling something in my chest loosen. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” Jax said.

Nick leaned back, suddenly thoughtful. “Oh — and you should buy a toy. Y’know. For practice.”

I blinked. “Practice?”

“Yeah. Put it… you know. Back there.” He gestured vaguely. “Helps with the whole first time situation. Jax has a story about that.”

“I will end you,” Jax muttered, face buried in his cereal bowl. “Still too fresh.”

I stared between them. “You two are odd.”

“Thank you,” Nick said cheerfully.

“But I… actually rather like you both.” The words surprised even me as they left my mouth. “And it’s nice. Finally having some friends, I mean. I never really had that before. But you chaps, Asher, and the other lunatics… we kind of make a fine little ragtag crew, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely, dude,” Jax said without hesitation.

“Yes,” Nick agreed, smiling. “I really think so too.”

For the first time in a long time, I felt it — that dizzy, terrifying thing they call belonging.

◆◆◆

Back in my room, I stared at my laptop. The Amazon homepage stared back.

Nick’s words echoed in my skull like a cursed mantra: buy a toy, practice, put it back there.

I shouldn’t. Absolutely shouldn’t…Right?

I typed “beginner anal toy” into the search bar before I could stop myself.

Instant regret and instant intrigue.

There were… options. So many options. Entire categories I didn’t know existed. Colors, textures, things shaped like animals (concerning), things that promised “training” like I was joining the army.

I scrolled. And scrolled.

“God,” I muttered, adding one to my cart. “Jesus. Fine. Two.”

A set of training plugs joined the cart. Small to… ambitious. My cheeks burned even thinking about it.

Then lube. Because apparently I did learn from Lex’s noodle grease war crime.

Then — fuck it — a vibrator that promised “dual stimulation” and had suspiciously good reviews from someone named Toylover420.

I stared at the total, hovered over checkout.

Was this reckless? Probably.
Was it also the most proactive thing I’d done about my love life in months? Also yes.

I clicked purchase.

“Character development,” I muttered to myself.