OnlyFans Girl Ch 586-590
Added 2024-09-30 14:54:48 +0000 UTCThe content of this post has been removed for the time being as I, Break, make sure that the story fully complies with Patreon ToS and does not risk my platform. If this post has not been edited back into existence after some time, assume that the content has been made available in a larger bundle.
Sorry for the inconvenience, hopefully all will be righted soon.
~Break.
Comments
Thanks, good looking out
Juggermouse
2024-10-01 21:13:15 +0000 UTCSo I am sitting here having a coffee and eating a donut at my local shopping centre - and squirming in my seat as I read the latest OFG chapter :-) As all the shoppers walk past, not realising that a great read is just metres away... Again, a great chapter Break!
Graham Cairns
2024-10-01 06:20:13 +0000 UTCI noticed a couple of switches to first person. In chapter 588, "telling us," and the paragraph after Daddy D
Daedalus Legendre
2024-10-01 05:06:21 +0000 UTC"“Come to Daddy,” you joked, laying back. They both laughed at that, Becks shooting you a cryptic look as she grinned and took the head of your cock between her lips again." Oh boy, no stopping the daddy train anymore :D you did that to yourself Johnnyboy, and you know that your girls are all talking with each other, about EVERYTHING. you calling yourself daddy...you sealed your own destiny with that :D
Darkflint
2024-10-01 01:03:21 +0000 UTCJust to second this -- I personally find it jarring to have a line of dialogue followed by a bunch of exposition (or whatever) that is inserted into the middle of a conversation. There are 632 words between the first "God. Damn." and the line "That was when the ‘God. Damn.’ happened..." There was then another 280 words of exposition before the continuation of that idea with the line "That’s when you said, 'God. Damn.'" We went from Sabrina's apartment at the end of Ch 586 to the water park for one sentence, and then immediately back to Sabrina's for breakfast. We then have the whole "pick up the girls" Uber ride, entered the park, and described the scene of Tasha and Becks pulling off their clothing before we're back to where we were at the start of Chapter 587. IMO, it can work if we're jumping into a scene in the middle of a conversation. However, it should probably be limited to just describing the immediate location and/or who's there, and get back to the conversation that stems from that initial statement. Just my 2 cents!
Max G
2024-09-30 22:53:56 +0000 UTCGreat chapters as usual - a few typos “another tongue as Beck leaned into” s/b Becks “Eric update about joy” - Joy “you said, haking your head” - shaking “That’s a perfect ock” - cock
Dragondoc
2024-09-30 22:45:08 +0000 UTCThat would be one hell of a life
Charles Bell IV
2024-09-30 21:36:07 +0000 UTCChapter 201 is when we first meet Katherine.
Henritran
2024-09-30 21:27:33 +0000 UTC*start reading* "This time you were much less likely to confuse who was who, but you were still determined not to accidentaly fuck another of Sabrina’s sisters." Oh, i am not worried about that. This time it wont be an *accidentaly* fuck. *continue reading*
Darkflint
2024-09-30 20:07:14 +0000 UTCCP is also on Patreon, and QT is so much further on here than on Lit... just letting you know. That's actually how I found Break, and the rest is history
J N
2024-09-30 19:53:11 +0000 UTCNevermind, just needed to keep reading.
Trav
2024-09-30 19:42:28 +0000 UTCWhat was the exclamation in response to?
Trav
2024-09-30 19:37:57 +0000 UTCGreat chapter as always! But I got lost at this: “God. Damn,” you said, and you imagined you heard it from about two dozen other men within fifty yards.
Trav
2024-09-30 19:37:29 +0000 UTCWhich chapter was the accidentally fucking of Sabrina's sister again? That was hot.
Mask
2024-09-30 16:27:19 +0000 UTCNice! Minor typos: a perfect ock, fucking a pronstar
Matthias Urlichs
2024-09-30 15:58:18 +0000 UTCGreat timing for it all to come out. Great chapter, hope all is going well at the conference. Keep'em coming.
Psychopuppy
2024-09-30 15:43:44 +0000 UTCI clock out of work, get ready to drive home, then as I'm deciding what to listen to on YouTube I get a notification. And my car gets put back into park while I devour your latest offering in my favorite series.. Thanks for brightening my day, Break. BTW I took your advice and checked out CP on Literotica. Immediately ripped through the first book of QT. It started a little rough but I was hooked real quickly. And kinda fell for Aisling a bit without even trying. There's just something about an Irish redhead... Anywho, thanks again for your work and recommendations. Looking forward to more.
Juggermouse
2024-09-30 15:40:52 +0000 UTCGod they all need to be part of this relationship and move in together in one big house
Gregory Sullivan
2024-09-30 15:29:05 +0000 UTC
