Untitled D&D Group Story Ch 38-41
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Chapter 38
The adventurers woke early, their night of rest having thankfully passed without incident. Maybe it was the fact that they were ensconced on the edge of the friendly Red Bronson clan’s claimed grounds, or maybe it was that they had killed six men and women the day before - ambushed on the path, the deaths witnessed by a dozen more of the bandits.
Winning a fight against an enemy with double your number gives off something of the ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe.
After a breakfast of cold rabbit, caught and prepared by Fergus the day before, they sat around a low fire and reviewed what they knew briefly.
“The most important piece of information we don’t have is the why of it all,” Olivia grumbled. “Everything else is just… fringe stuff.”
“Well, they’ve made it clear that Houndsfang is supposed to make his big announcement to the camp tomorrow,” Renee said. “So we’ll either need to wait until then, or find a way to get it out of someone.”
“Can’t you just use that Charm magic on him?” Jade asked. “Get him alone and charm it out of him.”
Renee winced. “The stronger the mind, the more stubborn, the harder it is for the magic to work. And he’d know I’d done it after.”
“Not if you kill him before it’s done,” Olivia said.
“He’d also know if it didn’t work at all,” Renee finished.
“Oh,” Olivia grunted.
“So it’s a risk. A big one,” Jade said, getting nods from the other two. “What else can we try to accomplish?”
“We want to figure out what he is,” Renee said.
“Good point. And we also probably want to make some more cracks in this ‘alliance’ they have going. They aren’t unified,” Olivia said. “If we can piss people off at each other, even if we don’t find out the plan ahead of time, they’ll be more reluctant to work together.”
“OK,” Jade nodded. “Then let’s start with getting information on the last big group we know almost nothing about…”
The heroines decided that their morning would be spent fact-finding about the Burnt Men. The twenty-odd former soldiers were quite possibly the most dangerous of the gathering - they were outnumbered by the Risen Wolf Gang and the Red Bronsons, but they were trained to work together and were much more tight-lipped and testy about who they spent time with. Escaping the King’s armies in the West had made them paranoid - even more than the banditry of others, if they were discovered and caught the Burnt Men would be condemned to death.
With their goal set, I let the girls workshop their ideas before running another small skill check - rather than wanting an answer immediately, I tested the waters on letting them do more of a ‘team up.’ In the end, Elyse decided she wanted to go back to the Coalblacks - the dwarf barbarians had been easy-going and friendly and weren’t actually bandits. Meanwhile, Rhia and Tori decided to use the game mechanics to their advantage; Jade would aid Olivia in making a direct approach to the former soldiers, rationalizing that a ‘Bandit Paladin’ would potentially have common ground with the Bandit Soldiers and that Jade’s upbringing among her roving people and their militaristic training might help. Mechanically it meant that Rhia would be able to roll twice and take the higher number due to the help, but they would only get the one roll between the two of them. Rhia even remembered that she could pray for Guidance, adding an additional d4 to the roll, as Olivia muttered a quick prayer to Revelry before their final approach.
Renee de l’Ombre spent the morning with the Blackcoals telling stories - a favourite pastime of Dwarves in the setting. The key was that Dwarves had a keen sense for truth and lies, but preferred well-crafted stories with all the proper embellishments over the cold truth, but a story needed some truth to it to make it feel worthy of repeating. This meant that Elyse had to tell a ‘true story’ about Renee’s past, something that would suitably impress the dwarf berserkers and their runeworker husband. She ended up asking for time to come up with something, so we pivoted to the others.
Rhia and Tori had accounted for everything. Rational logic of why they could try to make overtures. Mechanical advantages for their rolls. Tori even plied me with a muffin, wanting to make sure I wasn’t hungry, which led to everyone around the table groaning in delight at her baking.
What they couldn’t account for was the dice.
“Motherfucking tit shit fuck numpty garbage!” Rhiannon growled, picking up both her d20s and hurling them out of the game room and into the hallway where they clattered across the floor towards the kitchen. It wasn’t the first time my hallway had welcomed some dice, and I doubted it would be the last.
“No!” Tori groaned. “What were they?”
“A six and a four,” Rhia groaned. “Which, with my bonus, is a ten.”
“Don’t forget you prayed for Guidance,” Elyse said, looking up from the notes she was scribbling.
Rhia perked up, grabbing her d4 and rolling it before making a face. Her fingers made frustrated claws in the air over the little plastic die. “Fucking. One.” She looked at me. “Eleven total.”
I nodded solemnly. Eleven wasn’t bad, but it definitely wasn’t good either. “There are about a dozen of the Burnt Men puttering around their section of camp as you approach - it’s orderly, a double line of tents, with two cookfires. You also notice that they’ve posted sentries, unlike the rest of the groups. As you approach the nearest two step in your way, hands already on their swords. ‘What do you want?’ one asks gruffly.”
Olivia cleared her throat. “To talk,” she said and then gestured at the larger camp sprawled through the rocky clearing. “About all of this.”
One of the two sentries narrowed his eyes. “Ain’t got nothin’ t’ say about it,” he said. “Not yet, anyways. Houndsfang hasn’t spilled the beans yet, ‘as he?”
“No, but I think we might have a common perspective on things,” Olivia said, pressing on. “If not common purpose, yet. You men were soldiers, I was-”
“A knight. We got it,” the other sentry grunted. “You talk about it a lot when you’re buying people drinks. Rubbin’ it in faces an’ the like. You know who were the worst in the Army camps, stealin’ all the good food, ridin’ their horses wherever they pleased an’ leavin’ shit everywhere? Refusing to charge the Dark Lord’s pike walls, even from the side, while we was dyin’ up front?”
“Knights,” the first one growled.
“Right,” Olivia said, holding up her hands to try to show she meant no harm. “Well, I wasn’t that kind of knight.”
“Sure don’t know what other kind of knight there is, do we Todd?” the first sentry asked the second.
“Not ‘at I can right tell, Nodd,” Todd replied.
“So far yous have gotten into fights all over the camp,” Nodd said. “Fightin’ in the alehouse, killing in camp. Makes you downright untrustworthy, it does.”
“I… think we’ll be going,” Olivia said.
“Just like a knight, turnin’ tail and runnin’,” Todd grumbled.
“Well, fuck,” Rhia sighed.
“I kind of like them,” Tori chuckled. “If they weren’t so dead set against you, they’d be funny.”
“Sorry, them’s the breaks,” I said.
Rhia sighed and got up, heading into the hall to fetch her dice.
“Oh, fuck off!” she shouted. Her face was pinched into a mighty frown as she came back in. “They were natural 20s in the hall. Both of them.”
I couldn’t help my snicker, and the other girls joined me.
Chapter 39
Renee’s story was a fictionalized account of how she had first discovered the shadow in her blood, which would later lead to her sorcerous magic. The improvised story was about a little girl who spoke with her friend in the shadow, a small cat that never grew up and whispered to her in the dark of night, keeping her safe. As the girl grew that cat remained the same until one day she mentioned her shadow-friend to a real friend - a boy from town. It didn’t take three days for all the children in the town to know she spoke with shadows, and another two of the children to call her Witch.
It was when they brought torches, to scare away the shadows, and they hurt her friend the cat that the little girl’s world truly turned upside down.
The story was dark and sombre but sweet, and as Elyse told it should paced back and forth down the length of the game room. In the end, as she improvised how the girl took the cat into her own shadow to protect it forever, she raised one corner of her embroidered robe and ran a thumb over part of it, then smiled and showed us at the table - hidden into the embroidery was the shape of a cat.
“Amazing, Elyse,” I praised her once she sat back down, starting to applaud and quickly joined by Tori and Rhia.
“I felt so bad for the little girl,” Rhia said, putting on a pouty face. “I’m so glad that she protected the shadow-kitty.”
Elyse was beaming and took a long swig of her drink. “Thanks, guys,” she said.
“Alright, I think a story like that definitely deserves a roll with advantage,” I said.
Elyse rolled twice, nailing a natural 18 as her highest. With her bonuses that made a 24.
The Coalblack family was enraptured by the tale spun by their shadowy guest around the campfire. Rowan, the runeworker husband, even joined in by spinning runes in the fire - it let out little puffs of smoke that briefly formed the shapes of a girl and her cat. When Renee finished her story they applauded her and said it was a good tale, with strong roots.
“What sort of story would you like in trade, Lady Shadow?” Rowan asked.
Renee hesitated - she’d come seeking information about the Burnt Men, but she was personally more curious about something else.
Elyse shot a guilty look at her friends across the table.
“Tell me a story about Houndsfang,” Renee said. “Of wolves and bandits, and the one who leads them.”
“Mm, this is a difficult story to tell,” Agate, the elder of the barbarian-wives, said as she settled next to her husband on the log they used for a seat. “Only the man himself could tell the full story, and we have only gained parts of it, so much of the truth may not be so true as we might think.”
“Tell me anyway, what you can,” Renee said, leaning in. “Before this man asks or demands something of us, I want to know the measure of his reputation.”
Rowan and Agate glanced at each other and then nodded. Rowan stood and piled more logs to the fire, and then took up his poker and began to draw in the coals while Agate told what they knew.
- - - - -
A boy when he arrived in the woods of the Eastern reaches of the King’s Way, it is said that Alexander Houndsfang had travelled the entire length of the old road. Born to a family who lived at the far end, some claimed he had been the son of an Innkeeper at the edge of the world. Or a Baron’s whelp. Or a simple farm boy. None were certain, for he never spoke of home beyond the fact that the rise of the Dark Lord had forced him west. The Inn, or the Barony, or the Farm, was gone.
He was a smart boy, too smart at times for his own good, and learned the trade of theft and murder in the woods while the King’s patrols were still thick enough that only the most skilled, or lucky, survived more than a few summers living in the forest depths. He learned at the foot of Wandering Welcsh, who had called himself King of the Wood for a while and claimed to be the brother of Duke Unger and the rightful heir of the duchy.
Alexander was a survivor of the Owedswood Massacre, the last true culling of the banditry in the Eastern forests, before Duke Unger marched for war in the West. It was possible that, if he had been taken in by someone else, found succor along the King's Way in any town or city, Alexsander Houndstooth may have willingly marched to war against the evil that he upturned his life.
Instead, he had been at the back of Wandering Welsch when the 'king's supposed brother marched on the woods, fired the hunting cabin that was the man's castle, and scattered the bandits. Some claimed that Alexsander killed Welsch himself, though no one stands when asked if they witnessed the act themselves and none can say why the lad would have done it. Only that they had heard a whisper of it from a stranger.
The lad, now a young man, disappeared for a time following the Massacre and returned sometime later grown like an oak. The tracking of time is a fitful thing in the forests, it may have been five years or ten. And 'returned' is a word that has more than one meaning - it was possible he had spent all that time within the wood alone, in hiding or lord of some hidden grove. Or perhaps he roved into the mountains and beyond, or south towards the heartlands. Some whisper he found dragon's gold and has come back to add to his hoard, though most think that foolish - if a man found dragon's gold, why would he seek to add to it with the pittance to be scraped from the villages of the Unger duchy?
Wherever he returned from, what is known is that he returned with three wolves that would answer his call. Said to be over-large, with a touch of the old Primal in them, they were too smart and too cunning. With their teeth, Alexander Houndsfang carved out a corner of the forest for himself, and then set about gathering about him his gang.
Some say that the wolves left him, the more civilized he became again. Others that he sent them off on errands in lands far away, to call on powers that would bring him even more strength. A few even say that the wolves became men themselves, that his lieutenants Torra and her brother Rolf are two of the wolves.
For seven years, Alexander Houndsfang has stalked the Owedswood, the Rimeswamp and Harold's Cut, gathering the Risen Wolf Gang and keeping them moving like a roaming pack of wolves. He's slain the last two tax collectors sent by the King, three bounty hunters sent for his head Duke Unger, and supposedly slew the Undorith reaver Galen Two-ax when he roved down from the northlands in single combat.
And now, called King of the Woods by those who remember the stories of old Wandering Wlesch, he has called this meeting and none of the bands and gangs have refused the call for fear of what his retaliation could be. They will listen to his proposal, or demand, and will decide whether to submit or rebel. Whichever it is, few doubt there will soon be blood spilt in the name of Houndsfang.
- - - - -
“Fuuuck,” Elyse groaned.
“We killed his wolf. He’s gonna be pissed when he finds that out,” Tori said.
“Do you guys think Torra and her brother are werewolves and not Alexander?” Rhia mused. “What if he’s something else?”
I shrugged. “Guess you’ll need to find a way to test your theories.”
Chapter 40
Following their moderately successful morning, the three adventurers reconvened at noon to trade what they learned. Olivia and Jade weren't annoyed with Renee going off-plan, especially since she'd learned more about their eventual target - it was Alexander Houndsfang who had murdered Pretty the Tree and set the magic wolf on the people of Tremulous Crook, after all.
"I think we should refocus our efforts," Olivia said. "All the other gangs are bad, but it's clear that the Risen Wolf Gang is the worst. we should be trying to find their weak points."
"I don't know," Jade shook her head. "We can't just abandon the progress we've already made."
"What progress, though?" Olivia asked.
"Well, I've been making progress," Jade said. "I have the Red Bronson's wrapped around my little finger."
"You've gone on one hunting trip with them, and drunk with them some," Renee said. "You aren't exactly best buddies yet. Would they choose you over Houndsfang?"
"Fine, you're right," Jade said. "I need to make sure of it. This afternoon. If I can't do that, then I'll stop wasting time."
"What are you going to do?" Olivia asked.
"What I have to," Jade shrugged.
"Then I should do what I have to," Renee said. "I think I should take a run at Alexander before things get even more complicated."
"You want to try and assassinate him?" Jade asked.
"If I can get him vulnerable, maybe," Renee said. "But I think I need to try and get an audience with him, present myself as the powerful sorceress I am. Maybe convince him to tell me what the hell is going on so that I'll stay instead of leaving."
"Best way to do that is probably through his lieutenants. I've already got an in with Torra," Olivia said. "Maybe we work on that. Her brother Rolf looks like a real son of a bitch, but if we can crack him then we might get you a real shot."
They discussed a few other options but discarded them, deciding to follow the plans they'd set.
Renee and Olivia set off first, heading to the ale hut to start scouting for the Risen Wolf lieutenants. Torra wasn't there, but Rolf was. The ladies decided to stick together and fall back on a classic - but a round of drinks for a table full of Risen Wolf gang members. Olivia took the lead, Renee playing the mysterious witch again, and began plying her skills of Revelry to loosen tongues and blur minds with drink and good cheer. It didn't take long - the men and women were there to drink, after all, and considered themselves the mightiest of those who had gathered in the ancient campsite.
Then they transitioned to the table Rolf was occupying with several of the other senior members of the Gang, Olivia talking up Renee while chumming it up with the bitter bandits that she very much wanted to kill.
I called for deception rolls a few times, and other than one near-slip Rhia managed to keep things rolling. Finally, using all the buildup that Olivia had set up, Elyse made her move and Renee leaned into the conversation, using prestidigitation to make some showy but ultimately harmless magical effects. Her deception roll was stellar, just shy of a natural 20, and Rolf seemed impressed.
"I'll need to meet with the Houndsfang," Renee said, playing up her accent harder than usual to appear even more exotic. "Where is he?"
"I'll check if he'll see you," Rolf said. Between Renee's impressive display and Olivia's flirting, they had him hooked.
Then I turned to Tori. "So, the Red Bronsons?"
"One specific Bronson. Big Red," she said. She was blushing a little.
"Alright," I said. "Let's see where you find him."
Chapter 41
Jade went looking for Big Red Bronson, the man who she’d originally beaten in the fight ring, then made friends with over drinks, and finally flirted with despite his dim-witted difficulty in picking up the innuendos she was throwing down. She found him playing a game of Stones with several of his Red Bronson cousins, a game that they had excitedly explained to her in-depth while they were all in their cups. The way the bandit family spoke about it, Stones was a nuanced game of skill and talent, wit and intelligence. It was as complicated as an obscure card game and as cutthroat as a duel.
Jade watched a few rounds and still couldn't understand how it was more than throwing stones as close to a target as possible.
"Alright," she mumbled to herself. "Let's do this."
"Big Red is big, right?" Tori asked me.
"His name isn't ironic," I chuckled.
"OK. So big and muscley. And he's a bruiser, so is he built like... a muscley UFC heavyweight?"
"That would be a pretty apt comparison," I nodded. "Slightly cauliflower ears, a strong jaw, an intense look in his eye when he focuses on something. He's relatively clean shaven, for a bandit, and looms over his cousins at maybe 6'7"."
"Alright," Tori nodded. "And last question, because it would be important to Jade. Does he have big feet?"
I laughed, and Elyse and Rhia chuckled. "Would you have checked out his feet when you were with him?"
"Absolutely," Tori said. "It's one of the first things I would look at because of my martial training - just because most people in the world aren't doing Kung-Foot doesn't mean I don't need to be prepared."
"Wasn't it Foot-Fu?" Rhia asked.
"Whatever," Tori smirked and rolled her eyes.
"OK, yes, you've noticed that he wears very large boots," I said.
Jade approached the Red Bronson's playing Stones, waiting for one game to end before clearing her throat while sauntering towards them. "Afternoon, lads," she said. "Red Bronson."
"Aye," answered Red Bronson.
"Red Bronson," Jade acknowledged the next one.
"Yarp," Red Bronson nodded.
"Red Bronson, Red Bronson," Jade said to the next two.
"Howdy do, Miss Jade," Red Bronson said.
"It's always a pleasure, miss," Red Bronson grinned a little lasciviously.
Jade stopped in front of Big Red Bronson. "Red Bronson," she said, putting more warmth in her voice.
""ello, Jade," he rumbled back.
"Could I talk to you? In private?"
"Um," he said, looking at his cousins. Two of them gave him thumbs up, having heard about the flirting that had happened on the hunting trip. "Sure," he said.
"Great," Jade said and turned and strutted away towards their part of the camp, her little puff of a tail wiggling over her shapely bottom.
Jade led Big Red Bronson through the Red Bronson circle of tents and over to the one she was sharing with her girls and Fergus, thankfully finding them all still missing.
"What's it goin’, Jade?" Big Red asked.
"Do you mean 'How is it going,' Big Red?" Jade asked.
"Same thing, mostly," he shrugged.
Jade sighed softly, a 'it's a good thing you're hot' look in her eyes. "Big Red, would you say we're friends?"
He frowned, not with emotion but concentrating on what he was saying. "I think that would be pretty good. An' we can always still fight in the pt if we's friends. Just can't cheat none."
"We can," Jade agreed. "And, Big Red, as your friend, I think I want to make you feel special. Because you are special."
"Okay," he grinned.
"But friends help friends, right?" Jade asked.
He shrugged. "Yeah, makes sense."
Jade took his hand and pulled him into the tent. The big guy had to duck low to climb through and had to shuffle around on his knees since he was so stooped while on his feet.
"Here's the deal, Big Red," Jade said, falling back onto her butt on her blankets. "You make me feel good, and I'll make you feel good. Got it?"
I couldn't help my jaw hanging a little loose. Tori, as we'd been roleplaying, had come around to my end of the table and signalled for me to cover my DM notes and shift my DM screen aside. She'd stacked them and slid them away, then hopped up to sit on the edge of the table right in front of me. As she said that last line, she put her thumbs in the stretchy waistband of her billowy 'monk pants' and thrust them down, pulling them past her ass and down her thighs. Her thong went with them, and she quickly pulled one ankle out from the leg so they dangled from the other.
She spread her legs, her pretty pussy about a foot from my face. The warm dark tone of her skin, the lippy playground between. Her bare thighs. The pretty, nervous smile as Tori broke through the Jade roleplay.
I'd thought it would be Rhia who would push the envelope first. Or Elyse. Maybe even more so Elyse after her Consent letter.
But it had been Tori last time, feeling my cock with her toes in the hot tub. And it was Tori now, showing the most courage in being the very first to jump.
"I think I know what you mean, Jade," I said in the slightly dopey voice I was using for Big Red Bronson.
"Holy shit," Rhia said, her voice finally catching up with her shock.
"Damn, Tori- I mean, Jade!" Elyse crowed. "Get it!"
I leaned in and planted my mouth against the warm lips of Tori's pussy.
Jade moaned as the big man drove his tongue against her snatch. She immediately made sure to take more control of the situation by taking hold of his head, running her fingers into his hair and holding him close. She wasn't looking for a quick warm-up before a fuck - she intended this to be the main act.
For his part, Big Red Bronson was surprisingly adept. His tongue, a fat slab of dextrous muscle, teased and drove and tasted every cranny of her cunt. His big hand swept up and down the tender, thin fur on her muscled thighs, and he seemed to delight in what he was drinking up from her.
Jade moaned as his nose brushed against her clit hood. "Do that more," she exhaled, trying not to shout it like a whore so the whole camp could hear. "Fuck, yes, like that."
My face was already covered in Tori's juices. She had started turned on, likely from stewing on the idea of this happening for the last hour or two, or maybe even from before the consent letter got handed between us. She'd been flirting with Big Red Bronson before sex was on the table, so it made sense now that I thought about it that he was her easiest 'in' to the sexual gameplay outside of just jumping Fergus.
I loved the whimpers she was giving me, and the look in her eyes as I gazed up at the Indian girl from between her legs and made eye contact. Using one hand on her thigh, I raised it up over my shoulder more, encouraging her to take even more control. She did it immediately, her grin bright and dazzling as her calf and foot flexed against my back, pulling me closer while also giving her more leverage to work her hips, grinding her pussy against my lips and chin.
"Fuck, this is hot," Rhia said from beside us at the table, but I couldn't see her due to Tori's thigh blocking my vision.
"Is there any rule about us not touching ourselves when this shit happens?" Elyse asked. Her, I could see, and she was practically chewing her lip off as she watched her roommate get eaten out - fair play, considering what Tori had watched last game.
I broke the seal of my mouth on Tori's pussy so I could speak. "No rule, but the more you let yourself be teased and stew in it, the hotter your own scenes are likely to get. So don't get yourself off." Then I turned to make eye contact with Tori again, putting on the Big Red voice. "You taste right scrumptious, Jade," I said and then drove my tongue into her again.
Jade thrust her hips, grinding against the big man's ministrations again, pulling him tight to her with the hands gripping his hair and her leg around his shoulder and back.
"God, just like that," she moaned. "Do that thing, yeah that thing with a fat tongue- Fuuuck, I can feel it on the- yes, Shane. Fuck, I mean Big Red! God, use that big fucking tongue. And rub your nose- Yes, yes... Oh, hooooe-"
Jade came her ass bouncing as it flexed with her powerful orgasm. Her toes curled, and her thighs clenched tight around Big Red Bronson's head, but he didn't seem to mind at all as he kept driving his tongue against the ring of her pussy opening, running in circles just the way she'd begged, as his nose brushed back and forth over her clit hood.
Tori came down from her orgasm with a gasp, sucking in a big lungful of air as she leaned back against the table and panted, blinking as she looked up at the ceiling. "Fucking hell," she said breathlessly. "Fuck. King. Hell."
I pulled away, grinning at my work, because I had a feeling that of all the possible things that Tori had experienced sexually in her life, she hadn't experienced cunnilingus from a man who had been trained in pleasing three different women for over twenty years with his tongue. My exes, few and far between over the years, had never had a bad word to say about my pussy eating skills. I'd even gotten a few booty calls well after the breakups were done and buried just because they couldn't get over my rug-munching, box-licking expertise.
"That. Was so hot," Rhia said, her eyes trailing from Tori's face, down her body to linger at her bare mound, then over to me. She had pure, lusty joy in her eyes and looked like she'd kept herself to just teasing her breasts under her crop top chainmail - likely braless underneath again for easy access.
"Yup," Elyse said, almost a gulp. She was white-knuckling the edge of the table like she was trying her hardest not to touch herself.
"Not done," Tori grunted, sitting back up and putting a wrapped foot right on my chest, pushing me deep into my seat. She slid down off the table and blew out a breath, quickly fixing the cosplay rabbit ears still attached to her head. "Like I said, you do me, I do you."
Jade rolled over, pulling away from Big Red Bronson, and cut up onto her knees and immediately started undoing the laces of his trousers. "Let's see if you're big everywhere," the monk said with a lascivious grin. She got the fly open and reached in, wrapping her hand around his cock. "Oh," she said. "Oh, yes, indeed."
Comments
Or another good analogy would be the songs in Tolkien!! a lot of fluff but you just skip over it.
JC
2024-08-27 10:57:45 +0000 UTCFYI "Story" is missing an "r" in the title
aobn
2024-07-21 13:28:09 +0000 UTCI TOTALLY MISSED THAT, OH MY LORD
BreaktheBar
2024-07-20 22:02:47 +0000 UTCWhile I am no fan of 2nd person unless it's audio porn, THIS IS AWESOME, and I don't even play RPGs. I am enjoying the story of the game as much as the story of the gamers. My only immersion breaker was that they had a breakfast of cold rabbit, Tori/Jade is supposed to be some kind of werebunny or halfling, and nothing was said about it. No cannibalism comments. No sexual innuendo. Otherwise, keep up the great work!
patient1
2024-07-20 21:13:16 +0000 UTCYou do you, my dude! You're the author! I still love the story and will continue to back you and read! Keep it up!
Mikhail Chelpon
2024-07-20 18:09:44 +0000 UTCThis is a totally fair take on the story - just like the stories written in 2nd person, this one has some weirdness to it. For one, it flips between 1st and 3rd person perspective freely as the story jumps in and out of game. It's definitely not for everyone structurally. Your feedback is well reasoned, and I accept that some folks are going to have hurdles to cross if when reading this one. Enough people do seem to enjoy it though that I'll likely continue as I am, sometimes trimming back the 'in game' roleplay and sometimes putting more of it, based on what feels right to me. That's what experimental works are for :)
BreaktheBar
2024-07-20 18:05:23 +0000 UTCI'm hoping that you're right and some (not all) of the RPing will be truncated in favor for development of the "real life" characters as opposed to the pretend characters they're pretending to be!
Mikhail Chelpon
2024-07-20 17:12:42 +0000 UTCInteresting, because I take practically the opposite view - rather than Hamlet, I see this more like A Christmas Carol, where all of Scrooge's character development happens during the interludes from reality. I see the DnD portions as the story, with the non-game moments merely providing structure. They've talked themselves into believing the game doesn't have the same inhibitions they have IRL, and so are acting with much more freedom on their desires, which will only accelerate their character development, not put it on pause: because not much of what happens in the game can stay in the game.
Toodles McGhee
2024-07-20 16:35:49 +0000 UTCI just cannot wait until I see -> AMA on that list.
Michael Duke
2024-07-20 11:46:41 +0000 UTCI love your writing and I hope you take this as the loving criticism that's intended. This is a great story, and your characters are are amazing (as always) but there is a big hurdle that keeps me from enjoying this story as much. You are excellent at making your character relationships real, which keeps me invested in their story even when the smut stops. This story is no exception, and I can't wait to see how everyone's relationships change and evolve. But when they actually sit around and play dnd, the character development grinds to a halt while these very real people play ttrpgs, and I find myself getting impatient and wanting to skip the dnd character moments to get back to the real characters. The best way I can I can draw an analogy is this... imagine that while writing Hamlet, Shakespeare spent WAAAAY too long focusing on his "play within a play", making you watch (or read) the whole thing while you were more invested in hamlet's revenge story and just wanted him to get back to the main narrative. It doesn't matter how well written the "play within the play" is... I'm eager for more hamlet and claudius! Anyway, sorry this post is so long and negative... I do genuinely love your work!
Mikhail Chelpon
2024-07-20 08:47:33 +0000 UTCI'm so torn. It's awesome to get more of these as well! But gosh darn it I want MOAR OF THIS ONE NAOOOW! 😂
Christopher Tate
2024-07-20 03:05:22 +0000 UTC"Her, I could see, and" ought to read "Her I could see, and"
Trav
2024-07-20 02:35:56 +0000 UTCThat was a very cruel way to end a chapter, I'm not saying it doesn't make sense I'm only saying it was a cruel stop to what's available
ReadingRed
2024-07-20 01:59:15 +0000 UTCNext Up: Starship Repo > OFG > FoF
BreaktheBar
2024-07-20 00:39:19 +0000 UTC