Quaranteam: North West Ch. 25 (Beta)
Added 2024-05-08 22:34:50 +0000 UTCThe following story is based on the fantast
Comments
More to point in this, you’ve opened up a story line with Leo and his family, and honestly it would be good to see you start to branch that out a bit. I hope that it makes sense in that fashion.
M
2025-03-09 19:21:13 +0000 UTCI like that’s you’ve mixed this up, however I think I would have liked it as a lead in earlier in the chapters. Up until now Leo has been more of an afterthought (may not be the best term) and his back story would have been good to hear earlier on. If you put in details about him and his group, his feelings of such ect, and did his groups character development, this wouldn’t seem out of place or seem like it’s just filled. I hope that makes sense?
M
2025-03-09 18:23:49 +0000 UTCGreat chapter!
Smoke93
2024-05-13 22:08:40 +0000 UTCThank you for this chapter. I think the timing on it is perfect. I think putting more focus on Leo broadens the perspective of the story and gives it a depth I didn't know it needed. The role of holding down the fort is an important one. To quote Milton, "They also serve who only stand and wait."
Mark
2024-05-11 14:47:46 +0000 UTCGottem! Thanks.
BreaktheBar
2024-05-10 20:38:00 +0000 UTCYou have two references to Yvonna instead of Yvonne. One is after she borrows Two Towers and the other is where you are physically describing her and Rachel.
Gregg Hagerty
2024-05-09 04:26:45 +0000 UTCThanks. Great revitalization of Leo. Towards the end, I visualize a possible (sp) rescue plan. (Sorry, being an old NCO, I think that way.) I.E. couple school busses. Of Course, I realized you are ahead by several chapters. U know this my favorite. As always. STAY SAFE.
Admiral Ale
2024-05-09 03:49:47 +0000 UTCAn excellent line up. Thank you sponsors.
Steve Forster
2024-05-09 03:04:55 +0000 UTCIt's looking like: - D&D Story - Masseur/MILF - CHYOA Contest/Psych Story - 2x UA
BreaktheBar
2024-05-09 02:36:18 +0000 UTCI thought it was good to finally see more of Leo and what happens all when Harri isnt there. Good chapter!
Darkflint
2024-05-09 01:45:48 +0000 UTCI can't even argue, who's gonna gripe about an insight Ch, BUT I'm so ready for the action
ReadingRed
2024-05-09 00:54:53 +0000 UTCAre the sponsored stories the same as last month?
zktvo
2024-05-08 23:52:42 +0000 UTCTo head off some of the inevitable comments: 1) Yes, I did it on purpose. I am damn certain this is the right place for this chapter to happen. 2) This is a LONG chapter, and you're getting another one (back with Harri) in Ch 27 as compensation for this one :P I'm going to be smashing out the Sponsor Week content for the rest of the week, so expect some faster posting times over the next few days! OFG Week will follow that.
BreaktheBar
2024-05-08 22:37:04 +0000 UTC
