Single Parent Pal-entine's Day
Added 2024-01-26 11:18:01 +0000 UTCThis story will be submitted SOON to the Li
Comments
Great story. I know it is a 1 off but I would love more from these characters. Don’t know what you think about changing lanes on this but there is so much more there to explore!
DocEGJ
2024-09-27 17:11:05 +0000 UTCFinally had time for this. Great story. The G rated stuff was actually better than Hallmark, and the girls reaching a parent sharing agreement made me cry. I think that's a first for you, Break. Your sex scenes are always great, and this didn't disappoint me. As for an alternative embarrassing story, what if he accidentally sent his sister his lesbian porn collection instead of wedding pictures/videos? Looking forward to a future installment, and eventually maybe some boys named Julius and Auggie.
patient1
2024-01-30 00:52:59 +0000 UTCI loved this. There were a couple of cultural refences that went over my head (chooks by context being a warm head covering, for example- or the fact that the school year starts in September rather than January as is the case here) - but this was an excellent slow burn story!
Graham Cairns
2024-01-28 23:23:37 +0000 UTCThe stories being mismatched gave a grounded feel to the story as in real life noone is really in the same place if they've varied so wildly with their life experiences and the fact livvy and him match on emotional level makes up for that
Spacecadet5380
2024-01-28 23:18:41 +0000 UTCVery nice side dish,but you still know that NW is the main course. Stay safe. I heard over 1500 died from COVID last year, and my VA hospital is again handing out masks to those who need them.
Admiral Ale
2024-01-28 16:29:41 +0000 UTCSuch a great story. You were aiming for a 'feel good' story, and you not only scored a direct hit you nailed it dead center. Thanks for sharing!
Trav
2024-01-28 14:28:28 +0000 UTCHey break I noticed during read about the Valentine’s date that it is chooks. Was it supposed to be toque.
Jed Gould
2024-01-28 10:51:29 +0000 UTCThis was a great story and your ability to connect us to these characters emotions is well done
Daniel
2024-01-27 21:18:19 +0000 UTCGreat slow build with a blazing finish.
Rick Shaw
2024-01-27 14:30:57 +0000 UTCI re-read this section, and then some selections of Adrian's humor earlier in the story, and I believe that "oops I crapped my pants" story is honest to the characterization. He is a "humor diffuser." Part of his personality that I have internalized is that he knows his lived experience can't compete with the "I did porn, I liked it, and I'm still in the back end of the business. " At the same time, this story was both jarring enough and self effacing enough to show that he was willing to be build intimacy by sharing it, and insightful enough to know that his "worst" will never rise to the same level as Olivia's, and he seems OK with that. She also seems to appreciate the jarring pivot, as it pulls the tone of the story from "confessional with a touch of regret and worry" back to two friends having dinner and falling in love. She even speaks for the reader for a moment, by saying "you could have made the same point without the shut talk." And while that is true, the tone shift was necessary to allow the shift of the mood back to the core of her love for him... "you make me laugh." I think it is spot on, and sorry for the 500 words it took to get there!
TRT
2024-01-27 09:24:54 +0000 UTCLoved the story. That was a beast. Love that the romance felt natural and not overly coerced into happening.
Ian B
2024-01-27 02:54:09 +0000 UTCI also thought the whole discussion on condoms was point on and also very funny.
Gregg Hagerty
2024-01-26 23:06:29 +0000 UTCAs an older man, I thought the crapped my pants after fighting diarrhea was both realistic and hilarious. 😂
Gregg Hagerty
2024-01-26 22:45:39 +0000 UTCThe Pants Crapper story didn't feel out of place to me, personally. I thought it showed how trusting and comfortable Adrian was around Olivia, that he's willing to share his most embarrasing story with her. It also shows that in the short time they've known each other, he's well aware of what Olivia would find funny. I mean, in a similar vein it's like that point in a relationship you're trying to outdo each other in who can get the best Dutch Oven going. Can you actually call it true love if you're not trying to gas each other out of bed? 😂 Bonus points if you dramatically groan before bursting into giggling like a couple of 8 year olds.
Kahunabob
2024-01-26 21:26:44 +0000 UTCUPDATE: A first revision draft has been edited into the post. Thanks to all who have given feedback so far, and I'm open for more! General Note: Yes, I built in the opportunity to come back to these characters for a follow-up story. I think it would have something to do with Olivia's Annual Birthday Trip down to California where she gets to see her friends and has some meetings with clients... And maybe another, one year anniversary story for the next Valentine's Day? Anyways, I don't know WHEN a return will happen. Between all the series, the other one-shots that could have a return, and the other NEW stories I'm itching to write, it will end up being a poll at some point. Lastly: I got a note that the 'I crapped my pants' story didn't fit the vibe of things, which was something I was already a little worried about, so any comments on that would be helpful. I was trying to have the story be embarrassing and playful, but still a story from adulthood and not from Adrian's teen years. And, more in general, that Adrian's 'deep secrets' didn't quite match the level of Olivia's. Thoughts are desired and welcome!
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 21:04:59 +0000 UTC“Well, I wasn’t expecting your elbows to me so nobby when I finally got you under the covers,” I whispered with a little grin. me>be
Matt
2024-01-26 20:55:21 +0000 UTCGood catch on the Olivie! For the leg thing, Adrian did that himself at the start of the oral when he first went to his knees. I'll take a look at making that a little more clear!
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 20:51:01 +0000 UTCGood catch! Changing that sentence.
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 20:48:48 +0000 UTCGot them, thanks! How did spellcheck and grammarly not catch Waller though? Wild.
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 20:48:06 +0000 UTCGot it, thanks!
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 20:47:08 +0000 UTCGot the typos, thanks! Fun fact: 'Chook' is actually a very MidWest regional spelling of 'toque' (which, depending on the part of Canada or the world at large, is also spelled touque or tuque, or called a beanie, skullcap, skullie, or even a tobogan hat in certain parts of the southern states.) Yes, I lost about an hour to researching the spelling of toque. As for the timing issue, HN is right that it was referring to June the daughter and not June the month, but if at least one early reader can misinterpret that line it's good to flag and easy to change. Thank you!
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 20:46:31 +0000 UTCGottem. Thank you!
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 20:39:32 +0000 UTCCorrect, hahaha. Adrian does not, in fact, have pussy lips on his face. This is what happens when I write a massive sex scene in one day.
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 20:36:52 +0000 UTCLook, my brain has so many fun characters running around it's hard not to take them out to play :P I'll be honest, my natural inclination is to go 'Ah, one more person in the relationship could spice things up...' but yes, for any continuations of this story I think it would be limited to the occasional threesome (or moresome?). Both Livvy and Adrian are way too focused on the kids and trying to do the best they can for them to risk THAT alternative a lifestyle. Thanks for the detailed comments!
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 20:35:49 +0000 UTC"Well, I wasn't expecting your elbows to me so nobby" should be 'be' not me. Also, “Uh oh,” Olivia said.”Don’t should have a space after the period. "I figured everything wou ld come out eventually"
J N
2024-01-26 20:10:51 +0000 UTCAh, you're probably right. But still. Break's got a hoarding problem where it comes to cute girls and harems. Let's put a hard cap on it right now before he get's carried away. Again. 😂
Kahunabob
2024-01-26 20:04:11 +0000 UTCA great story, is it a one and done or can we expect to see more of them?
Michael Duke
2024-01-26 19:52:09 +0000 UTCThanks for a wonderful story, Break. All other typos I caught have been mentioned, except: When they are comforting the girls in the "your mom not my mom" section, Olivie should change to Olivia. Just in the door after the date, the "she put her leg down" after oral... we don't see her put it up. Think need to add a sentence describing her wrapping her leg around his shoulder to retain scene continuity.
TRT
2024-01-26 18:58:37 +0000 UTCGreat story Break! I'm glad I waited to read it until it was all done. I'll definitely be voting for it if there is voting.
zktvo
2024-01-26 18:20:31 +0000 UTCThere was some sentence about soft and softness like 3 words apart that looked weird, but i think all the other little things I noticed have been pointed out. Absolutely want more of this, especially since it sounds like Olivia would like to show off some of her work friends as well and have them join them for some fun. Definitely like this more than the first time, mainly because the first time you posted this was such a tease just abruptly ending after the setting was well established.
Zaralith
2024-01-26 18:11:55 +0000 UTCwell damn. you're probably right.
Jeff Hughes
2024-01-26 17:21:03 +0000 UTCOutstanding character development in this one. Would love to see more with these characters at some point.
robert keaton
2024-01-26 17:06:01 +0000 UTCLove the story! Some edit suggestions: June echoed me joyfully as stepped inside - as she stepped fishing out my waller - wallet One short with her smiling - shot
HN
2024-01-26 17:04:28 +0000 UTCAgree with most everything you write here, it really is a great story. I don't see the mentions of her porn friends as a lead-in to harem though, only possibilities of the odd fun threesome.
HN
2024-01-26 17:04:03 +0000 UTCI guess you're referring to "during the first week of June attending the new school", but I'm pretty sure June is a reference to the daughter, not the month.
HN
2024-01-26 16:59:48 +0000 UTCOk, just finished the story in a couple of sittings (yay work!) Feedback in general: fun, Hallmarky feelgood story. With the slowburn it didn't feel like a typical Valentine "smut" story. Definitely more romantic. Good pacing, humour. Felt like a fun slice of life style. No world shattering epidemics. No AMA shenanigans. Just a couple of people living life. In Literotica terms, this would fit the Loving Wives category in the literal sense of the term, but Romance is probably a better fit. Easily a top 5 contender for stories I reread every so often for the Good Vibes™️ Main characters came across as believable. Two humans that are both a little dinged, perhaps some scratches in the paint, comfortable around and with each other and in a way too scared to lose the friendship they have to take the next step. The kids: adorable as heck. If you take this story further and ever do some (cover) art for this, it should be the "twins" and the "adults", all four of them in their dino and dragon onesies doing their best couch potato impression while watching a movie. For the future: If you leave it here, don't be surprised that people will want more, more, more. There's the hint of potential extra people in the bedroom with the mention of the pornstar friends. Though personally I'd love at least one of your stories not to devolve into a harem story 😉. Then there's the potential drama with the PTA woman trying to but her nose in where it's not wanted or welcome. Personally I just want more of the same wholesome slice of life. Their blended families growing together, extended families getting to know each other and becoming friends. Keep this story grounded, you've got AMA, QT and OFG to go full ham in. Some stuff I've noticed while reading the PDF. Doughnut vs donut. Donut is probably the more recognisable spelling of the word because of all the US cop shows and movies. Doughnut is one of those words that take you out of the story and make you re-read a sentence. And on page 14 there's a big font NEW STUFF that you might want to take out.
Kahunabob
2024-01-26 16:11:21 +0000 UTC"Eventually, she went down from her does" maybe should be "toes"
Gregg Hagerty
2024-01-26 15:26:59 +0000 UTCIt bothers me a bit, well my internal timing of the story, that there is the reference to learning about the pick-up situation in June since that's the end of the school year. In my experience anyway. And the timeline feels like they haven't been back in town for a whole summer. Probaby just me, but it bothered me the first time I read it and still does. Some typos, maybe? went midway up her thing. (thigh) usual chooks due (tuques ? not heard of chooks except as chickens) from her does, (toes) again, glancing my cock (glancing? just seems off, but I don't have any suggstion)
Jeff Hughes
2024-01-26 14:34:35 +0000 UTCAwesome read! Loved the preview, this is phenomenal. Good luck! Minors catches: - “Call my Livvy,” Olivia said. -> Call me? - revealed a slit in the side that went midway up her thing. -> thigh? - Crapped my pants, right there in my truck -> two spaces between right and there (actually did a quick run for double-spaces and there's 3-4 others - ', and', 'back until', 'what I', and one post-period that is fine but doesn't match the rest of the style) - My hands wrapped from those hips and back to her as -> ass instead of as? Unsure if wrapped could have been dropped (or similar), it sort of works just isn't usage I've seen much - apologies if I'm calling it and it was entirely intended!
Jeeva
2024-01-26 14:04:04 +0000 UTCThis is such a sweet story. You do this emotional connection stuff really well, and the girls were damn adorable.
Jason Hatter
2024-01-26 13:58:14 +0000 UTCWait so that's the end it? Lol. Could their be a continuation of it if it is? I feel like their could be more, I just don't know how far it would go.
christopher dalessio
2024-01-26 13:55:37 +0000 UTCI followed her directions, bending my neck a bit to pull one of her labia between my pussy lips and massaging it firmly while sucking, I think you meant lips, not pussy lips.
Jeffrey Sutyla
2024-01-26 12:25:54 +0000 UTCHopefully it doesn't distract you TOO much from getting back to work, cause it really is a big one.
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 11:21:32 +0000 UTCOooh. A big new story about 20 mins before I go on lunchbreak? You spoil us, good sir!
Kahunabob
2024-01-26 11:19:40 +0000 UTCThis one was a BEAST. Next up: Le Francais -> AMA -> Secret Commission Part 3
BreaktheBar
2024-01-26 11:18:56 +0000 UTC
